Even now, Mitchell is back in town, but there is this crazy history between us. One that has me wanting to rush to Old Dog’s and see him on one hand and on the other me moving on in life without him. It’s a clusterfuck of emotions.
Parking in front of the office for Mobile Movers, the anger, hatred, and negative energy builds inside me. I’m not some scrawny kid whose mom made me grow out my hair so I looked like a girl anymore. I’m a man.
A motherfucking pissed off man.
All the thoughts and emotions of what could have been between Mitchell and I twist in my mind. He’s in town, which is wreaking havoc on my mind. Meaghan texted me this morning after she left for work. She had a meeting with “Peony” Michele, who is famous in the art community for her flower paintings. She also happens to be tied to the Devil’s Due MC because her husband Rowdy is in the club. Michele sells her work through Meaghan’s shop while they are on the road.
Since I was staying in Sonnie’s place, I knew they were coming back. Sonnie gave me the heads-up, which is why I made the leap to move in with Meaghan.
Knowing I was letting go of my own tie to the Devil’s Due motorcycle club, I changed my phone number, cutting Mitchell off.
In all these years, I have never shut him out, and it’s killing me to do so.
So many times, I questioned my decision to move in with Meaghan and change my number. I did it to save myself. Day in and day out, I felt like I was in some war in my mind, hoping, wishing, waiting for him to call or return to me. Then I would tell myself I didn’t need him, that I was fine without him. Except, the more I told myself I was okay, the more the pain seemed to intensify, the more the longing seemed to grow. I knew I would crack under the pressure if something didn’t change.
If the club is coming back to town for good, then Mitchell needs to face me, dammit. No more games by phone. It is time for the real deal. Time to sort our shit.
However, now that Mitchell is here, he still hasn’t sought me out. He’s hell-bent on revenge. I know him enough to know that. Just like Butch, when the opportunity presented itself, Mitchell took care of him. Sonnie has even told me she’s worried about Mitchell. Trapper, as they call him, has always been unpredictable and unsettled, but since coming back she says he’s restless and anxious.
I can’t help the bitterness that builds knowing I’m about to face one of the men who took so much away from me and from Mitchell. I want the chance to feel vengeance, just once.
Getting out of the truck, I keep my sunglasses on to cover the venom in my gaze.
Julius is standing on the front porch of the office building like a proud fucking peacock. “Avery,” he greets with a smile.
I say nothing.
“Don’t start some shit you can’t finish, fucker,” he warns as I brush past him.
Turning around to face him, I can’t help the sardonic laugh that escapes me. “You’re the one who started something years ago. I’ll be glad to finish it, but he’s going to, because that’s who he is now. The monsters in your nightmares … you turned him into that. Watch yourself, Julius, because you should know Mitchell died that night on the concrete when your pansy ass left him to bleed out. The moment he closed his eyes and gave in to your torment, you didn’t win.”
Julius’s eyes grow wide in fear. I relish every second of it.
“The moment he went deep inside himself, Trapper was born. No longer a victim. No longer held back by the bullshit life he was handed. He left everything behind”—I point to myself—“Including me. The man he is today is not the Mitchell who would go hungry before breaking the law to eat. Nope, the Mitchell who didn’t dare cross a line because he believed in working his way through life was destroyed by you and your boys.” I turn my back on him and step inside the small office.
When I feel his heat directly behind me, I continue. “Yep, Julius, you should know Trapper’s home and he’s back for good. You think he’s gonna let you stick around?”
“How long?” he asks barely above a whisper.
“Almost three weeks now. Been at Old Dog’s shop. You ran him off all those years ago.” I turn to face him once again and lift my sunglasses so he can see the hatred in my eyes. “The man Trapper is, I don’t think he’s gonna let you run, hide, or escape what he has in store for you.” I tip my lips in a half-smile. “I just hope you made him a sick enough fuck he’ll let me watch as he fucks you in the ass and makes you scream his name. You should know he’s gonna make you his bitch.”
“Get out. Forget your pictures. Get the fuck out.”
I nod. “With fuckin’ pleasure. Until I see you again.” I move toward the door then turn to him one last time. “You should know I’m not the fuckin’ man I was before either. Found a woman, found someone who believes in me, all of me. Trapper doesn’t come for you, I’ll be on your ass for what you took from me. Consider that your warning.”
With that, I leave, knowing the man is shaking in his boots. Good.
I mean it. Trapper is digging. Michele told Meaghan when they were hanging paintings in the pottery shop that Rowdy is worried about Trapper. He’s more unpredictable than usual. They are all worried about him and none of them have ever been able to control him.
For as long as he’s been riding with the Devil’s Due MC, they are his family. He’s told me more than once how much the club saved him from going crazy after everything he has endured.
I get to the truck, fighting the urge to drive to Old Dog’s shop and face Trapper, whether he’s ready for me or not.
Mitchell is still inside him. While Trapper was born from their evil, the good that is Mitchell is still there, in his soul. If he was completely gone, regardless of what I told Julius, then all these years sending me money and worrying about me wouldn’t have happened.
He cares. I have never doubted it. I just want more from him than what he’s given me.
My phone rings as I make the turn out of Mobile Movers’ parking lot. I look at the screen to see her beautiful face pop up on it.
“Hey, babe, didn’t expect a call,” I greet, answering Meaghan’s call.
“Kinda hard to call when I don’t have your number.”
As his voice seems to vibrate through the phone, I almost jerk the truck off the road.
“Mitchell,” I whisper.
“You and I are long overdue for a talk, Avery.”
My name off those lips has my heart threatening to jump out of my chest.
“We’re overdue for a lot of shit, Mitchell.” I grip the steering wheel, focusing on driving so I don’t scream my frustrations out.
“Met your woman. She’s fuckin’ gorgeous.”
My breath hitches. Obviously, they have met since he’s calling from her phone, but it’s a lot to take in.
“Meaghan tells me y’all are shackin’ up.”
I don’t know what to say. His tone isn’t angry. It’s eerily calm.
“Yeah,” I give him simply.
“I’ll be at your house in ten minutes. Shit gets settled between us today.”
My heart twists. I think I’m going to throw up.
Everything I have pushed for, asked for, begged for could be thrown in my face in the next hour. Everything from my past might not be my future after all. I don’t know what to even do with the thought, much less face it all in ten minutes.
Ten fucking minutes.
Chapter Sixteen
~Mitchell~
H anging up her phone, I clip out at the blonde bombshell in front of me, “Address?”
“149 Howard Drive,” she gives back without hesitation.
“You should be afraid of me, little fairy.”
The fearless woman reaches up and squeezes my shoulder. “Should’ve done a lot of things in life. Should’ve been afraid of a lot people. Should’ve trusted different people. Should’ve done more shit differently. But it all led to the place I am today. So, while you keep tryin’ to scare me off, Mitchell, I’m gonna keep smiling, because I can see it in your eye
s.”
“What is it you see in my eyes, fairy girl? Lust?” I grab my cock. “I can fuck ya, but it’s a one-time thing. And just sayin’, if you’re fuckin’ Avery, he’s not gonna be happy with you for fuckin’ me.”
I watch her pupils widen. I’m turning her on. Is it the challenge she seeks?
“Oh, you like talkin’ about rompin’? Oh, little fairy, I’d lay you on your back and spread your legs wide; make you lay spread eagle for me. Then I’d drop my face to your pussy and lick your slit until you got cream dripping from your honey hole. Only after I got you to scream my name would I fuck you until all you could do was scream his name. I would get off on hearing Avery’s name from those perfectly plump lips of yours.”
She laughs at me.
I grab my chest in mock offense. “You like the idea of getting caught? Is that it? You should know, fairy girl, I’ve fucked married bitches before. I won’t feel guilty, even if it fucks with Avery’s head. Fuckin’ is fuckin’. Feelings are checked before my cock slides anywhere.”
She shakes her head at me. “Deflecting doesn’t do shit, Mitchell. Avery will be home. He will be ready to face you.” She’s the one to shake me off. “You made the call, lover boy. Now it’s time to see the man who has a lot to say to you.”
“Is that so?” I ask, suddenly curious as to why Avery has such a backbone with me now.
“You’ll see, Mitchell. This talk is long overdue.”
I tsk at her. “I can fuck you good, tell Avery everything he doesn’t want to hear, and be gone before the feeling comes back to your toes from the orgasm I’m sure to give you.”
She rolls up on her tiptoes, glancing around to take notice that all the Devil’s Due members and their women have left us alone. “What about the orgasm you’re sure to give Avery?”
It blows my mind. Not only does she know the twisted history between Avery and I, it’s almost like she accepts it. Dare I imagine she wants it?
Taking her by the hand, I lead her to my bike. Grabbing my lid, I press the helmet onto her head before I climb on and she follows, settling in behind me.
What a feeling.
On my bike is a woman who’s tied to Avery in a way I can read in her eyes. It’s the look that stares back at me every fucking time I think of him while looking into a mirror.
The ride doesn’t take long, and when we get there, I take in the two-story house that looks like a row house without the neighbors on either side. It has character, charm.
Meaghan climbs off my bike, handing me the helmet before she fights with the tangles in her long locks. Immediately, I think of what fun I could have tangling that hair in my hands while I fuck her senseless.
Inside the house, I find the first floor to be wide open. Entering a living area with a sectional, ottoman, and fireplace, over the fireplace, I see a painting of burning angel wings. The other wall has a painting of a girl in silhouette, staring out a window. Red is splattered over the entire piece. Out of the window, there is a house with a picket fence.
“I call it ‘Destroyed’,” Meaghan says from behind me.
“Powerful.”
“It’s me.”
Her frankness actually makes my knees go weak. Which is not like me at all. Women have come and women have gone in my life, but something about Meaghan is twisting me up for the first time since Avery.
Before I can ask more, see more, or even let myself grasp what is about to happen, Avery walks in.
He’s taller than me. However, while he’s filled out with more muscles, he’s still thin compared to my brothers in the club. His blond hair that his mother used to love to brush and braid is now short and spikey on top. He has a chiseled jaw and a straight nose. He could easily walk a fashion runway with any Hollywood superstar.
Meaghan rushes to him and wraps her arms around his neck. “Don’t be mad,” I hear her whisper. “Lookin’ out for you, for us, baby.” She presses her lips to his.
Right in front of my face, he devours her mouth while roaming his hands to her ass where he squeezes. That shit cuts deep.
It’s passionate. It’s a power exchange, this kiss. She’s giving him her strength, and he’s taking it all right. In. Front. Of. My. Face. Trust. They have it. Confidence, they claim it. Everything I ever wanted to give Avery, those two share. While it hurts, I also find myself turned on like never before.
After a beat, Meaghan is the one to pull away. “Let it all out today, Avery. Whatever happens, I am your safe place to fall. You are mine. No more waiting for Mitchell to swoop in and take you from me.”
“Meaghan, that won’t happen. I told you, when I moved in, I moved on.” Avery’s voice cracks, and my soul shatters.
It takes me a moment to pick my jaw up off the floor, as they say because I am stunned. “If that’s the case, why the fuck am I here?” I finally step in because, frankly, I’m pissed the fuck off.
“Not gonna be a secret, Mitchell. Not gonna wait from one late nightly call to the next.”
“You changed your number; can’t call,” I huff out at him.
“Cut the shit. Deacon knows. Sonnie knows. There are people who know the number and would have given it to you if you just asked.”
I step toward him, thinking he will step back. Only, Avery guides Meaghan to the side and steps up to me. Man-to-man, chest-to-chest, heart-to-heart. Everything around me is falling to pieces. He’s playing house with a woman and I’m some creepy fuck on the outside looking in.
“That’s what this is? A power play? You wanna make me beg for your number?”
He laughs in my face. “Mitchell, a man like you—a fucker like you—ain’t beggin’ for shit. You want something bad enough, you take it. That much I do know.” He has fire in his eyes. The man in front of me is only a piece of the boy I left behind. This man is strong, confident, and it’s hot as fuck.
“I take life by the balls, but I want you and never took a damn thing from you,” I spit back at him, mad as fuck.
“You took my soul, Mitchell.” Avery doesn’t back down, he fires right back at me. “You took my safety. You took you from me, and you ran.”
I throw my hands up in frustration. “I was fucking eighteen! They left me on the street to die.” I yank my cut off and throw it to the open space behind me, letting it hit the ground in a thud while I pull my shirt over my head.
Meaghan gasps. Her eyes are wide as she watches both of us intently.
“Scars! Every one of them belong to those fuckers! I left so they wouldn’t touch you. Deacon and I made a deal, and they let you be! I left to give you life, you asshole. I left so they couldn’t take you from me! I left because I’m a selfish fuck who knew I had no reason to live if you died.”
Two strong, calloused hands reach out and grab my neck. His lips crash to mine, and my mouth opens before my brain catches up, realizing Avery Marcus Collins is kissing me.
He’s taking.
He’s demanding.
He’s in control.
I am rock fucking hard.
Having him touch me, kiss me, emotions flood me. This is Avery. The Avery who didn’t care that I ate out of dumpsters. The Avery who watched my back when everyone else shunned me. The same Avery who opened his house to me. The same boy who told me to stay away from Butch. A boy who would get raped in the ass daily if it kept his stepdad from touching me and hurting his mom. He took Butch as often as he had to and begged me to stay away from him. As much as I tried to save Avery, he too, tried to save me. It’s always been this crazy push and pull with us both trying to save the other.
The boy who grew into a man, who gave more to everyone else than he ever gave himself, is finally taking what he wants in life.
And what he wants is still me.
I reach out, gripping his head and turning him the way I want him. It’s a battle between us as our tongues tangle.
The taste between us is the best fucking thing I have ever had in my whole fucked-up existence.
Pawing like a female in th
e throes of passion, I pull at his shirt before we break apart just enough so I can expose his chest to me. When I see the flashes of metal on his nipples, I almost blow my load.
Dropping my head, I suck hard on his nipple, flicking the barbell with my tongue. He yanks my mouth from his chest.
“Put me through fuckin’ hell, Mitchell.”
I sigh, trying to calm my raging need to fuck him. “I did it for you, for me. At the time, I didn’t know what else to do.”
He pokes me in the chest, and I back up. “You told me, Mitchell, every fucked-up thing you did, every person you killed, every broad you fucked—you shared it all. This crazy life you’ve lived, you shared it all, but not once did you come back for me.”
“I wasn’t living, Avery! I was chasing death.” I turn my back on him and pace. “Don’t you see? Life without you wasn’t a life I wanted, but they would have fucked with you if I stayed here.”
“Then why the fuck are you here now?”
Well, if that isn’t the million-dollar fucking question!
“Because I don’t know where the hell else to go!” I finally admit the truth. “Everyone is settling down, and I don’t know where it leaves me.”
“So, that’s why you’ve been in town for weeks and haven’t faced me?” Avery steps closer to stay in my space. His chest rises and falls powerfully, gracefully. It’s all simply beautiful. The emotion, the ugly mixed with the passion, it’s absolutely Avery. “Still, I’m just a convenient place to fall. Just fuckin’ say what you mean and mean what the fuck it is you say!”
No longer is he the boy who was lost in his own world. The man in front of me is taking life in his own hands. He’s done waiting for me. He’s done cowering down to other people.
“Not man enough,” I tell him honestly.
Meaghan moves to stand beside us. “The history you two share is dark, twisted, full of ugly. But from that, a beautiful bond was formed. Don’t taint it now by slinging words that neither of you will really mean.”
“Fairy girl, don’t step into something you don’t know,” I tell her, feeling like my chest might cave in at any moment from the pressure.
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