by Max Henry
With a sigh, I kill Facebook and open up Messenger instead. My thumb hovers over her smug smiling face before I tap it with finality. Silence between friends is a two-way street, and I can’t stay angry at Kate for keeping me in the dark if I don’t do a thing to reach out either.
Which is why I messaged earlier, when Zeus was still here.
B: What are you up to this weekend?
Sometimes denial is the best option. No better way to draw out how somebody really feels about you than denying there’s anything wrong at all.
Her reply had come through, seconds later.
K: I’m staying at Brock’s.
Of course. I’d asked the question, only to be shot down.
B: Spare a few hours for a girls’ night?
K: We already made plans. Sorry.
“Fuck this shit.” I toss the phone aside, unable to come up with anything else to say that doesn’t come off as desperate. I roll my eyes when the device hits the arm of the chair and slides off onto the floor.
I could head into town on my own, sure. But Longdale isn’t exactly known for its nightlife. The most interesting thing I’m likely to find down at the local are two of the old boys having a neck-and-neck game of darts.
My feet tingle as I swing myself around and sit upright on the armchair, my palms braced either side of my legs. What to do? I can’t stand sitting around the house another night, but when the only connection I had to the social scene that was our year at school—Kate—won’t fucking hang out with me, I don’t exactly have endless options.
The front door closes with a soft click, and I find Zeus eyeing me, clearly not surprised to see me where he left me.
“Busy gathering dust, I see.”
“Hilarious.” I rise and stride into the kitchen to grab a drink.
He shadows me, ditching his gym bag next to the dining table. “Out with it.”
I glare at him as he stands there, arms folded and feet wide in that way that makes him seem twice as large. “Out with what?”
“You can’t avoid talking about it forever, so tell me why you’re so pissed off.”
“I thought that would be obvious.” I shut the fridge and crack a can of Coke, watching him over the rim as I take a sip.
“You’re mad because I shut you down afterward.”
“I’m mad because you made me feel like a fucking jackass for doing it in the first place.”
He blows a heavy breath out his nose, moving one hand to cover his face. “Belle.”
“You asked,” I sass, turning away to pinch a snack from the pantry before I barricade myself for the rest of the night.
“You can’t keep acting like this all weekend,” he growls, slamming a hand on the counter behind me. “How are you going to explain it to your dad?”
“Your problem, not mine.” I tug a box of crackers off the top shelf, stretching to reach them. “It’s going to be you left talking to him if I stay in my room, not me.”
“I thought we were getting somewhere earlier.”
So did I, until it became clear that it was a huge mistake to come out of my room: I still felt the same after talking to him as I had in avoiding him—frustrated.
“You’re going to have to get over it sooner rather than later,” Zeus states. “You can’t hold a grudge forever.”
“Can’t I?”
“Fuck’s sake,” he mutters, turning in my periphery as I set the crackers down to retrieve cheese slices. Zeus slams his butt against the edge of the counter, arms still folded as he scowls at the floor. “Are you always this fucking selfish?”
“Are you shitting me?” I cry, slamming the fridge closed hard enough that the condiments in the door rattle. “Selfish? By doing what? Telling you how I feel about you?” I snort a bitter laugh and snatch up my less than healthy dinner. “Get fucked, Zeus. I don’t care what you do, but stay the hell out of my way.”
“You’re punishing me as though it’s my fault you feel the way you do,” he calls after me.
I storm back into the kitchen, anger pumping hot through my veins as I dump my haul on the counter again. “I’m punishing you,” I say, advancing on him as I do, “because you refuse to admit you feel the same way.”
The arsehole has the audacity to smirk at me as I stop before him. “Do I?”
“What else are you doing then?” I cry, throwing my hands in the air.
“You remember how I kissed you, don’t you?” he asks, his lips still curled at the corners.
“Of course I do,” I mumble. How could I forget? The bite of his teeth against my lips… I still feel it.
“What did that tell you?”
“The kiss?”
He nods, eyes smiling.
Fuck him. He has me, again. I really need to stop arguing with Zeus. “That you felt something?”
“Yes, dove.” He nods slowly, one eyebrow cocked. “So tell me again what I’m doing.”
“Ugh. You’re so frustrating.”
“As are you.” He snags me by the hip when I make a move to step away, pulling me flush against him.
It’s déjà vu in the worst kind of way. “What are you doing?”
“Listen to me.” His piercing blue eyes hold me captive. “I don’t deny how I feel about you, Belle. I told you how I feel. I laid it out bare.” He swallows, his jaw hard. “What I deny is that there’s any point to starting something between us.”
“Because of Dad.”
He sighs, his brow firm as he studies me. “Don’t you agree?”
I’m stuffed if I know what I do and don’t agree to. The whole concept of Zeus even entertaining the idea of my ridiculous fantasy is ludicrous enough. I can’t comprehend the fact the object of my affection wants me back, let alone envisage something past that.
“Let me go, please.”
His head tips slightly to one side. “I’m not holding on, Belle.”
The truth to his words strike home as I move my focus downward—he took his hand away while we talked; I’m still here, still leaning against him of my own accord. Awkward.
“I’m holding back out of respect for you, as much as him.” Zeus puts his hand back on my hip, his fingertips brushing against my arse. “I’m not the kind of guy who enjoys playing with people’s hearts, Belle, and leading you on like that… playing is all I would be doing.”
“Is that so bad?” Because I’ll take this man however I get him.
“It is if I want to keep you happy.”
“Pushing me away makes me unhappy,” I point out. “This past week….” I can’t say it, can’t give voice to how miserable I’ve been hiding away from him, because it seems so pathetic out loud.
“Tell me. This past week, what?” He pinches my chin between his forefinger and thumb, tipping my face up to his.
“I felt so bad wasting time I’d never get back. I wanted to come hang out with you in the evenings because I enjoy being around you, but I knew this… this attraction I have would get in the way and I’d end up hating it because I couldn’t spend the time with you doing what I really wanted to.” I sigh, looking away, despite the fact he holds my head high. “That’s why I avoided you,” I murmur. “Not because I was angry at you, but because I was angry at not having you how I wanted.”
He stays silent a while, looking over my face as he shifts his thumb to brush the underside of my bottom lip. “How would you spend the time, dove? Entertain me. Paint me one of your pictures.”
I smile a little, enjoying the moment despite the struggle our conversation is built around. “We’d share dinner, just like we did last Friday, and then we’d switch all the lights off and get comfortable on the sofa. Together. You’d stretch out….” I steal a look at his eyes and stall. How did I think I could do this?
“Go on.”
“You’d stretch out and I’d lie beside you. We’d pick a movie, maybe. Or listen to music.”
“And then?”
I can’t tell him that. Heat floods my face as I try to pull aw
ay. Zeus holds me firm, leaning in to place a gentle kiss against my mouth. I set my hands on his chest, relishing the slow care he takes as he teases his lips across mine, settling my nerves and erasing my doubts.
“Tell me,” he whispers before he pulls back. “What goes on in that head of yours when you think of me?”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“Why?” He shifts his hand to cup the side of my neck, thumb stroking slow sweeps underneath my jaw. “I’m curious, Belle. I want to know what you’d like me to do to you.”
“It’s not as though you ever would.” His heart hammers beneath my touch, his eyes lazy as he smiles.
“Wouldn’t I?”
“But you said—”
“Fuck what I said. Just for ten minutes. Fuck everything.”
My head swims as though I’m high on some drug, lost in a sea of impossibilities. He’s telling me that he wants to make part of my fantasy a reality, and yet I can’t find it in myself to believe him.
This has to be a trick. Nothing but a sick joke.
Zeus sets his hands on my waist and hoists me up. I wrap my legs around his, arms looped over his shoulders as he starts to walk. “Talk to me, Belle.”
I keep my gaze trained on his as he carries me through to the living room; my heartbeats almost blur into one with my quickened pulse. “You’d kiss me again.”
“Given.” He nods his head to one side as he sets me down on the sofa. “What else?”
I suck in a sharp breath as he pushes me back with a gentle hand to my shoulder. “We’d touch.”
“How?”
This isn’t right. I should stop him, tell him not to take advantage of my feelings like this, yet I don’t want to miss out either. I focus on my hands as I lift them and set them on Zeus’s strong shoulders, still unwilling to believe that this is really happening. I’ve thought about being with Zeus for years, let my young imagination run wild and told myself it was okay to think about him the way I did when alone because there was no way in hell this could ever come true.
And yet here we are, alone, with him barely holding himself together as he runs his hungry gaze the length of me.
“You say the word, Belle, and I’ll step away. You’re in control of this.”
I have no doubt that I am, but for how long? His breaths come hot and heavy, his left arm braced on the back of the sofa to keep himself steady as I trace the lines of his body. Zeus’s arm quivers beneath my touch, his hand white-knuckled on the cushion.
I let my hands slide to his shoulders again, retracing my path to make my way down his chest. He closes his eyes, a satisfied sigh slipping free as he relaxes, even if only the tiniest bit.
“Come closer,” I whisper.
He lifts the leg nearest to me, taking care as he slides it between the back of the sofa and my thigh. I swallow, my hands braced on his ribs as he shifts to hold himself over me, his right leg out straight as it takes his weight on the floor.
“You don’t look comfortable,” I muse.
“Any closer, dove, and a big bastard like me will crush you.”
“So do it,” I urge, wanting so desperately to know what that would feel like.
He frowns, his movements measured and clearly thought out as he tucks a hand beneath me and shifts me around on the cushions. I’m fascinated by the way his brow furrows, the lines around his eyes as he concentrates. He tucks his tongue to his top teeth as he looks between our bodies to make sure I won’t be squashed against the sofa, and then slowly lowers himself down.
I hold his gaze, lost in the bright azure flecks in his blue eyes as he settles his hips over mine. I’m trapped, and yet I’ve never felt more at peace than I do now.
“Okay?” he asks, eyes searching mine.
“Perfect.” I push my shoulders back, leaning up to place a kiss to his lips.
He hums against me as I taste him, running my tongue across his full bottom lip. My chest grows tight, the thrill sending a bolt of awareness straight between my legs.
I didn’t get this with Scott, any of this. With him I dove straight in, focused on the outcome and determined to reach the finish line. Yet with Zeus, I want to wade in the shallow waters and take my sweet time reaching full submersion.
“Tell me what I did,” he rumbles. “Close your eyes and tell me what you see.”
“I don’t want to.”
He gives me a lopsided smile, tipping his head to the side. “Why not?”
I set my hands either side of his face. “Because you’re right here.”
He answers by kissing my neck, trailing his hot lips over my flesh to place another where my collarbones meet beneath my throat. “One word, okay?”
He’s so concerned, so worried that I might change my mind. But why would I when this is everything I’ve always wanted?
I thread my fingers through his hair as he moves lower, lifting himself off me so he can crawl down my body. His left leg tucks awkwardly against the arm of the sofa, and yet it doesn’t deter him as he lifts my shirt and kisses a line across my stomach. My gaze fixes to my pale fingers as they knit through his black locks, the action something I’ve wanted to do for so damn long and yet never thought I could.
So many impossibilities becoming a reality—it makes me wonder how many other things we could get away with if we wanted them bad enough.
My eyes connect with Zeus’s as he climbs off the sofa and kneels beside me. He reaches for my shorts, gaze still on mine as he undoes the snap. “Okay?”
I nod, reaching out and running my fingertips under his jaw. He turns his head and places a kiss to them as his own pull my zipper down.
I’m painfully aware of my nipples as I shut my eyes and let my head fall back into the cushions. He tugs the denim of my shorts, one side after the other, moving them down my legs until I lift my feet one by one and let him slip them off me.
My core clenches in anticipation and yet he doesn’t dive straight in like I expected him to. Instead, he sets his palm flat on my lower stomach and slowly slides it up my body, under my shirt and between my breasts. I could get drunk off his touch alone, satisfy my need to escape with the sheer bliss his hands bring. He curls a finger around my bra where it meets between the cups, and tugs. I gasp as the fabric pulls at my hardened nipples, the friction unbelievably erotic.
“Did I do this?” he rasps as his fingertips tease my nipples, one after the other.
“No.” I can barely voice the word, my lungs devoid of air.
“Should I stop then?”
“No.” The word comes out a guttural groan, the need behind it so great.
He teases them once more, and then lifts my shirt higher so that my breasts are exposed to him. I open my eyes, studying his face as he watches his thick finger circle the rose-coloured tips yet again. Does he like what he sees? Am I enough?
I take the answer to be yes when he leans forward and wraps his lips around my right nipple, teasing the hard nub with his tongue. I can’t hold back my groan of pleasure, my hips rolling of their own accord as he palms my left breast, rising up on his knees to move closer to me.
“What about this?” he murmurs against my skin as he skims his lips down over my stomach.
I suck in a sharp lungful of air as he parts my legs and runs his nose over my panty-clad pussy. Fuck—I’ve never wanted to shed an article of clothing so badly in my life.
“Or this?” His words are a breathless whisper as he gently pushes the fabric to one side and places a kiss to my exposed flesh.
“Zeus….”
He rears back, hand still on my panties. “Yes?” He frowns, his concern clear.
“Don’t stop.”
A satisfied hum comes from deep in his chest as he resumes his actions, only this time he drags his tongue along the length of me without a single scrap of cotton between us. I arch my hips back, shoving my arse hard into the cushions as my legs clamp around his head. With strong hands, he pries them apart again, chuckling before he repeats the action.
“You taste like the best kind of sin, dove.”
I ache with the pressure as I swell, the slick juices of my arousal wet as they run over the swell of my arse. Tension coils low in my gut, the feeling familiar from the times I’ve masturbated in my room, but the intensity is something I’ve never managed on my own.
Fuck—it’s something I didn’t even manage with Scott, and I haven’t even come yet.
Realisation strikes me hard. Is that what Zeus wants? Is that where he thinks this will lead tonight?
“I’m not on the pill, Zeus,” I blurt out before I lose my head to the things he does between my legs.
He stills, thumb situated over my clit as he smiles. “I’m more of a gentleman than you might think, Belle. I’m not taking advantage of you like that.” His eyes narrow, his smile turning wicked. “Not tonight anyway.”
I gasp as he pushes a finger inside my slick channel. “What happened to the whole we-can’t-do-this thing?” I sigh as he pumps his digit a couple of times before answering.
“I’m reconsidering.”
I press my head back into the sofa as he sets a steady pace with his hand, his hot mouth soon joining in. The way he handles me, the way he knows just what to do—it shows his experience, and I can’t help but let doubt set in as my breaths come quicker. Perhaps I won’t measure up for him?
Surely he’s used to a certain level of knowledge, and as mature as I believe I can be, nothing can replace experience when it comes to this.
“Oh my… oh… fuck, Zeus….” I cast all doubts aside as he hums against my pussy, the vibration driving me over the edge.
“So sweet,” he mumbles against my swollen flesh before flicking his tongue over my clit. “So good.”
With both hands flat against the arm of the sofa above my head, I press down against him, seeking that teeny bit extra as my climax threatens. He increases pace with his finger, his tongue working the bundle of nerves as I reach release and cry out.
My moans echo around the otherwise quiet house, taking me by surprise with how loud I am. My chest heaves, the thrill consuming me and pulling all strength from my body as I collapse onto the cushions.
