by Max Henry
I’m ridiculously proud of the fact I didn’t have to cede on my silent treatment and speak as well. Who’s the child now?
I can’t believe that two guys who grew up with each other, who’ve known each other since they were in primary school, could fall apart this easily. And over what? Me. No. Not me. Over the fact that my father clearly thought Zeus was fun to have as a friend, but not actually worth enough to be of value when it came to what Dad loves the most—his only child.
“You’re a hypocrite,” I grumble. “You know that?”
“Pardon?” He jerks his head back into the seat. “Would you rather my hypocritical arse dropped you on the side of the road here?”
“You were always the one Zeus could depend on,” I explain, ignoring his crack and forging ahead. “Didn’t matter what anyone thought of him or his criminal past, he knew he could find refuge with you.”
Dad remains quiet, hearing me out. Yet his expression remains hard—sceptical.
“I remember thinking how great it was when I was small, that you had such a good friend. You told me to treat him like an Uncle; you thought that much of him.”
“A relative doesn’t do what he has with you.”
“Good thing there isn’t a blood connection, then, huh.” I glower his way. “You still can’t accept we’re together, can you?”
Dad sighs, rolling his flattened lips against each other. “I don’t expect you to understand, Belle.”
“We’re adults. Able to choose for ourselves, and never once have Zeus and I argued that it isn’t awkward—for any of us. But we can’t deny who we want to be with.”
“You have Sera now,” he tests. “If she were to grow up and start a relationship with, say, Damien,” he says, grasping for the name of a guy my age. “Are you telling me you’d be okay with that?”
“It wouldn’t happen.”
“Hypothetically,” he snaps.
I stare out the windscreen and mull it over. If she truly loved him and he loved her back, then why not? Except I can’t ignore the unease that remains when I envision a future with my baby girl and a guy I knew intimately together. Yeah. Different situation.
So, I flip the story. What if Sera were a boy and he grew up to become involved with my friend, Kate?
Shit. “That is strange, isn’t it?”
“He crossed a line, honey.” Dad grimaces. “I know you both love each other and you’re adults and all that, but he completely changed the dynamics of what your relationship should have been.”
“You won’t turn me against him,” I argue.
“I’m not trying to. I just want you to see why I can’t treat Zeus the same as I used to. The day you two announced you had a … a thing going on”—He looks as though he’s about to puke at the idea—“then he forever changed the dynamic of our relationship too.”
“He didn’t betray you, though.” I push the same point across I’ve voiced so many times before. “I was the one who initiated things. He did his best to deny me.”
“No, he didn’t.” The ute stops behind the queued traffic quicker than necessary. “If he had, then he wouldn’t be anywhere near you. He’d be living at the opposite end of the fucking country.”
“As long as you hold it against him,” I mutter, “then you hold it against me. And I don’t want that to be the reason why we drift apart.”
His sigh echoes around the cab. “Neither.”
“I’ve done my part, Dad.” I lean down and retrieve the details of the equipment I bought to be sure the guy gives us everything. “The rest is up to you.”
“All it will take is time.”
I snort. “That’s all I seem to be giving anyone, of late.”
SIXTEEN
Zeus
“Honey. I’m home!” I sarcastically call as I step inside from the garage.
Jodie stares at me from where she sits with the kids in the middle of the living room floor. “Totally the wrong person to say that to.”
What the fuck? “Why the hell are you here?”
“Cool your jets, tough guy.” She lifts a dismissive hand. “Belle’s fine.” Her gaze narrows on me, her focus sharp enough to ignore what must be a painful tug of her hair from Bradley. “Did you not know she was heading out today?”
I choose to ignore the question and do an about-face to ditch my work clothes in the laundry. I emerge a few minutes later in no more than my boxers to find her waiting for me in the hallway, hands on hips.
“Zeus?”
“Jesus, Jodie. Let me get some clothes on.”
Her limp wrist flicks my way. “I’ve seen all this before.” Sera crawls up the hall behind her. “You didn’t answer me.”
I lunge into my bedroom and retrieve sweatpants from the wardrobe, tugging the comfy fabric over my legs. Sera babbles to herself, following me in.
Thankfully, Jodie doesn’t.
With my daughter in my arms, I re-emerge, at least half-dressed, and ask the question I know I can’t avoid any longer. “I’m guessing she’s with John?”
“Correct.” Jodie wiggles an eyebrow as I pass by. “They’re picking up gear for her studio. How did you not know about this?”
“I asked her not to tell me anything.”
Comically, Bradley looks relieved to find his mother without a strange child in her arms. He rushes across to her, seemingly pleased to have Jodie to himself again.
“Why the hell would you do that?” She sweeps him off the floor and trails me to the kitchen.
I set Sera on the counter, pinning her in place with my hip, and pull down a shaker cup. “Easier to ignore how I feel about it if the subject isn’t rubbed in my face.”
“You bought this damn house because it had the studio for her,” she exclaims. “Why be so dark about it now?”
“Because she’s getting everything she wants, and I get nothing,” I snap.
She remains silent while I spoon protein powder into the cup. Just another thing I’d been whacking on the credit card without telling Belle. Such a great guy, Zeus.
“Reserve your judgement, Jodie.” I place a kiss to Sera’s head and then set her on the floor before filling the shaker with water. “Maybe I’m petty, but I’m a shade more than twenty years from thinking of retirement, and I haven’t done a damn thing for myself yet.”
“You can’t blame her for your lack of motivation until now.”
I glare at my ex, silently reminding her who’s partially at fault for that. “Tell me, honestly. Do you see a fifty-year-old me getting a bank loan for machinery?”
She twitches one shoulder. “Depends what down payment you have.”
“Fucking nothing.” I double-check the lid is on tight before I shake the ever-loving fuck out of my drink.
“What are you going to do about it?” She lifts one eyebrow. It’s all she has to do.
I stare at her over the plastic cup while I chug half the contents.
“You’re doing what you always do, Zeus, and throwing yourself a pity party.” Only she would get away with saying that to me. “But what are you doing to change the circumstance?”
“I’m not getting the hours at the yard,” I throw back. “How the fuck am I supposed to save anything when I can barely support us as it is?”
She sets Bradley down. “Why do Anderson and McConnell have to be your only source of income?”
I squint at the blonde bombshell and wonder if her peroxide has finally sizzled too many brain cells.
“Do you have an exclusivity clause in your contract?”
“A what?”
She rolls her eyes. “Is there a paragraph that says you can only work for them?”
“I don’t know.”
One arm after the other, she slowly folds them across herself. “Did you not read it before you signed it?”
“Nope.” They’re all the same. Why bother?
Jodie shoves a hand through her shoulder-length waves. “Tell me you at least have a copy.”
“Yeah. In
the box of documents in Sera’s wardrobe.”
She doesn’t wait for an invitation, spinning on her heel to retrieve it herself—good thing I have no secrets from my ex.
“You seeing this, baby girl?” I ask Sera as she plops herself on her butt to watch me.
“Ma?”
Fuck’s sake. “No, sugar. Dad. Daddy.”
She awkwardly pulls herself to her feet, arms reaching for me. “Ma!”
“Is it this one?” Jodie returns, the old file box cradled in her arms.
“Yeah.” I scoop Sera off the floor. “She doesn’t even know my name; I’m not home that much.”
“Oh, get off the grass.” Jodie sets the box on the coffee table and promptly removes the lid. “She’s barely six months old, Zeus. She knows, like, three or four words.”
“She should know my damn name by now.”
Leaning back on the sofa, she rests the stack of papers in her hands atop her lap and sighs. “Once she starts in daycare, you’ll be surprised how fast she develops simply by associating with other kids her age.”
“Yeah, I hope so.”
“Stop being so damn pessimistic.” Her focus has already returned to the documents. “What am I looking for? Is it in an envelope?”
“Nah. Should be loose near the top there.” I don’t have many papers to my name. Mostly finance documents and ownership papers for various vehicles.
“Found it.” She slides the contract free, Bradley tugging on her sleeve. Without looking away from the paper, Jodie scoops Bradley around the waist and sets him down beside her.
For the briefest second, I wonder what it would have felt like to see her doing that with our kid. Had things been different, this would have been the norm. Maybe life would be easier, considering Jodie holds down a steady job, but I can’t say it would have been happier.
I love Jodie but as a friend. It took me far too long to see that.
“From what I can tell skimming it,” she announces, “you’re good to work elsewhere if you wanted.”
“When would I fit it in, though?” I seat myself on the armchair, Sera on my knees. “Last time I checked, labouring was a full-time gig.”
“I don’t think so.” She returns everything to the box and slides the top on. “Eric has a few guys that only do a couple of days a week.”
“A couple of days, sure. But I can’t imagine anyone offering a couple of hours on the odd occasion.”
“So get a job doing something else.” She shrugs. “You’re a physical guy. You could do anything that required manual labour.”
“Maybe.” I still think she’s got her head in the clouds if she believes I can find anything that versatile.
“Are you home for good now?”
“Yep.” I nod my head toward the window. “Rained out. Again.”
She scowls at the steady, fat droplets splatting against the glass. “Ugh. Great. I had washing on the line.”
“Guess you’ve got it indoors now,” I jest.
She huffs in reply, collecting Bradley as she stands. “I’m going to head off anyway. I need to swing by the chemist on the way home.”
“All good.”
She flits around collecting her things while I play with Sera, tickling her with the ends of her fine hair and grinning like the lovestruck fool I am each time she giggles.
“Catch you later!” Jodie pulls the front door open before adding, “Say bye to Belle for me too.”
I frown at my daughter as the door shuts. “Trust me when I say this, baby girl.” She wriggles her nappy-clad arse on my leg. “Goodbye is one thing I’ll never say to your mumma.”
SEVENTEEN
Belle
Dad and I haven’t spoken a word to each other since we got back in the ute after loading my new equipment. The ride was so freakin’ riddled with tension that I cracked the window just to feel as though I could breathe.
He reverses up our driveway, but the first thing I notice isn’t that he still doesn’t speak to me when he gets out and starts unloading—it’s that Jodie’s car is gone.
“What the fuck?” I mutter, stepping out into the steady rain without a care.
Why did she leave?
“Jodie?” I shove the front door open and come to a grinding halt when Zeus lifts his palm to me.
“Sera’s asleep.”
I check the time on my wrist. “Now? It’s almost dinner time. You should have made her stay up.”
The arsehole says nothing. Just stands there in a T-shirt that sits a little too short on his torso, revealing a hint of the muscles pointing down into his sweatpants. The slightest tilt of his lips on one side grows until he stares at me with a shit-eating grin that dares me to challenge him.
“How was your day out?” he asks with thinly veiled sarcasm, turning for the garage at the sound of Dad moving around.
“Fine.” I trail him through the house, frustrated that he no doubt deliberately used Sera sleeping as a way to shut me up.
I peek my head in her door on the way past, relieved when I spot her little frame diagonal across her cot mattress. It won’t be long, and we’ll need to get her a proper bed.
Where is my baby going?
Zeus opens the internal door, pushing his hair out of his face with a rough shove of his hand as he crosses the floor to where Dad retrieves the next box.
Neither man says a thing.
I shut the door to keep the noise down for Sera and then prop a shoulder against the wall to watch the two of them work. Zeus lifts a larger box off the tray of the ute and takes it to where Dad has started a neat pile against the far wall. My father gives him a rather neutral side-eye and carries on with the next. The two of them unload the gear, Zeus standing aside while Dad pops the tailgate back up and secures the tonneau.
It’s ridiculous. Childish.
“Would you like a coffee before you go, Dad?”
Zeus’s head snaps around as though he didn’t realise I was still out here with them.
“Would you like me to help set any of this up first?” Dad gestures to what is essentially Christmas for me; shiny new things ready to be unwrapped and played with.
“No.” I smile sweetly at my significant other. “I think Zeus can help me later if need be.”
I get a grumble and folded arms in response.
“In that case, then …” Dad makes his way over, passing by and slipping inside the house.
I tip my head toward Zeus. “Are you coming or would you rather I left you out here to brood in silence for a while longer?”
“I don’t need a coffee,” he mumbles, turning away.
“You can still come to socialise,” I grit out through a stiff jaw.
He plain ignores me, heading out into the rain and down to our letterbox. The mail doesn’t need clearing; the postie doesn’t come today. Either he’s desperate for distraction, or he’s completely lost what day of the week it is.
Both are possible.
I head indoors and join Dad for a hot drink, discussing the details of his upcoming nuptials for lack of anything else to talk about. I’d partially assumed he’d leave without coming inside when I asked, especially after the way we travelled home.
The idea was to get the guys inside and talking to one another. Some success that was—not.
Fifteen minutes later, and Zeus still hasn’t come back indoors. I consider making another coffee but opt to stop stalling and start dinner instead. Dad gets the hint when I pull a pot out and drop some rice in, downing the last mouthful of his cold brew.
“I’ll let Sharon know you’re coming,” he says, rising from the stool at the breakfast bar. “She’ll be glad to hear it.”
“Tell her to message me,” I say, bent double while I select vegetables from the bottom of the fridge. “We can catch up one week.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Dad seems surprised.
If he is, he does a fantastic job of schooling his features as he checks his pockets for his keys.
“I think you left
them in the ute.”
“Right.” He pats his chest pockets one last time and then sighs.
“Thanks, Dad,” I relent. “I appreciate the help today.”
“No problem, honey.” He gives me a brief smile and then turns for the garage.
I watch him go, waiting to see if the sound of the door closing will wake Sera. Sure enough, a disorientated garble follows the tiniest click of the latch. I check the stove and then turn to retrieve her.
Zeus beats me to it. He steps in the internal door, pauses, and redirects into her bedroom.
I’m already peeling carrots when he saunters into the living area with her in his arms. “Would you like help?” He jerks his chin toward my growing pile of diced vegetables.
“No. I’m fine. Thanks.”
Can I help? His way of saying, I’m sorry for being an arse before. God help the man if he ever apologised directly.
“Let me know when you can spare a minute, and I’ll show you something.”
The frown on his face concerns me. What now? A rat infestation in the garage? Something else wrong with my car?
I slam the knife down beside the stack of vegetables and then turn the element down a fraction. ”Show me now.”
He leads us out the way he came in, crossing through our garage toward the studio door. I don’t notice a thing, too lost in my head worrying about what he has to say until I step inside.
The boxes are no longer in the garage, the items arranged around the room where they’ll roughly go. Zeus even unpacked the ink that arrived from the courier yesterday and lined the bottles up on the counter, ready for me to house in the wall racks.
“I didn’t know what order you prefer the colours in,” he comments, watching me eyeball his handiwork.
“Babe.” He’s never been the best with words; told me that from the start.
But how could I hold that against him when he makes up for it with these little gestures?
“I don’t know what to say.” I run my hand over the leather chair that he’s uncovered and dragged out from where we stashed it in the corner.
“How about, you say you’ll promise never to doubt yourself and make this what you dreamed it to be?” Zeus sets Sera down.
