‘Precious? They barely know each other either.’
‘Nor did we, and I thought what we shared was something precious.’
Ryan looked down at the ground in silence for a moment. ‘We got that wrong, didn’t we?’
Molly felt her heart sink.
The door swung open without warning. ‘You are talking a lot. Is the soup ready? Tommy will call me soon.’
‘It will be ready in a few minutes, sweetie. You stay in the warm room and we’ll both be right out.’
Lizzy disappeared back into the sitting room, leaving them alone. Molly didn’t think there was any more she could say.
‘I think I should leave.’
Ryan nodded. ‘That would be best for everyone.’
‘I’ll talk to you on Monday when you have calmed down. Unless you’d prefer I didn’t come back to the practice.’
While she was effectively offering him her resignation, she hoped he would see that was not necessary and that they could work it out between them.
Ryan turned back to her, staring for the longest moment.
‘Maybe you’re right. It was only a four-week assignment and I’m happy to pay you out for the next two weeks. You can get on your feet and find something suitable.’
She couldn’t help but notice he looked sad more than angry and that broke Molly’s heart further. She really had messed up everything.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
RYAN’S NEW OFFICE MANAGER, Gemma Potts, arrived bright and early on Monday morning. Molly had called the agency and said she wasn’t feeling well enough to continue the assignment and needed a replacement.
Ryan acknowledged the young woman briefly and then went about his business of seeing the patients Molly had booked in on Friday, along with those that the automated booking system had booked in over the weekend. The week passed slowly and the nights even more slowly. He was angry with himself for being naive and allowing himself to trust again and for being too busy to notice what was happening in his daughter’s life. He barely knew Molly and yet, for some now unfathomable reason, he had thought she was someone she wasn’t. He was angry for almost falling in love with her.
He couldn’t deny to himself that he felt empty but that was how it had to be. He had to concentrate on Lizzy. He would cut back his roster at St Clara’s to one night a week, and pay a locum to call in the other two nights. He might not be able to deter Lizzy from seeing Tommy in the future, but he would not be encouraging it. They had other issues at hand. They had to decide on the treatment plan for her and if that did or didn’t include surgery.
* * *
It was three in the afternoon on Friday when George rushed into the practice, demanding to see Ryan.
‘I left two messages for you,’ George told Ryan when he appeared in the waiting room.
‘I’m sorry, Dr McFetridge. I didn’t want to interrupt your last patient,’ Gemma offered apologetically.
‘That’s okay. I’ll take it from here.’
‘What’s wrong with you? You should have returned my call,’ George said, waving an accusatory finger at him.
Ryan could see the older gentleman’s blood pressure was on the rise as he walked him into a consulting room and sat him down. He was sure he knew the reason.
‘George, I can see you’re upset.’
‘Dorothy’s in hospital.’
‘I know, George. I’m so sorry. The doctor at the Eastern Memorial called me late yesterday with the news. I’ll be calling in today after I finish here.’
‘But she wasn’t sick, she was fine and not having her stupid cakes. I don’t understand what went wrong.’
‘It was a stroke. No one could have predicted it, George, but Dorothy’s a strong woman and she’ll pull through this.’
‘She has to. I love her. I even love her stupid cat. I know I’m not the easiest man to live with but I love her and our family with everything I have. I wish I’d told her that more often. I think my military upbringing made me a hard man but Dorothy made me the best version of myself. She made me see that there’s always two sides to everything. I know I stressed her at times, but she always found a solution to every problem. I’m not as cluey as her. I can’t live without her. I’ll stuff up everything with the family. They already think I’m a grumpy bastard and probably only tolerate me because they love her. They have no idea how much I love them. Women are so much better at the messy stuff than us.’
‘Sometimes,’ Ryan replied to George’s ramblings, then asked him to take off his jacket and roll up his sleeve so he could take his blood pressure.
‘You know, it’s hard having daughters too. I have four of them and I swear they’ve always spoken to their mother about everything. What are they going to do without her?’
‘You’re thinking too far ahead, George. By all accounts Dorothy will recover. I’ll see her tonight and get an update and I’ll call you.’
‘But if she’s not okay the girls won’t cope. They can’t talk to me about the stuff Dorothy manages. They’ve all had so many secrets over the years and they knew their mother would hide that stuff from me and just deal with it.’
‘You were okay with them hiding things from you?’ Ryan asked.
‘Sure, it’s a woman thing. Girls need to confide in someone they think will understand and that’s always another woman.’
Ryan thought about George’s comment but wasn’t convinced. His situation was different he tried to tell himself as he noted the blood pressure. As he became concerned with the reading, he changed the subject. ‘You’re one-fifty over ninety so we need to get that down. Make sure you take your antihypertensive medication this evening and I’d like to see you again tomorrow.’
‘Sure, Doctor. Dorothy normally arranges that and I guess I must’ve forgotten it today.’
‘You can’t forget medications, George, particularly your blood-pressure tablets. You’re a grown man and you need to take some of that responsibility away from Dorothy. When she gets home...’
‘If she does.’
‘No, George, when she does. As I said, there’s no indication that Dorothy won’t recover, but she’ll need rest and you need to step up and take charge of running the house a little.’
‘Running the house? I wouldn’t know where to start,’ George admitted, shaking his head as he rolled his sleeve down and slipped his tweed jacket back on.
‘Then, George, you need to find out. And in a hurry.’
* * *
Ryan drove home that night thinking about George’s remarks, but Lizzy had Ann; she didn’t need to confide in someone she barely knew. But then he had also confided in someone he barely knew and made love to that same someone, he reminded himself. Taking a deep breath, he brushed those thoughts aside as he turned into his driveway. He had to let it go. He had to let his feelings for Molly go.
Ann was waiting with Lizzy when he got home. She had a small leg of roast lamb in the oven for the two of them to enjoy. The smell of rosemary sprigs on the slowly cooking meat filled the house.
‘I’ll be off, then,’ she said. ‘The potatoes and pumpkin are in with the meat and the gravy’s in a small pot and the string beans are already in the steamer.’
‘Can’t you stay and have dinner?’
Ann smiled. ‘Thank you for asking but I have bridge tonight. I have a few newbies coming along to my class. I do love it and they have a lovely supper for us so I won’t go hungry. But don’t forget to turn on the heat under the saucepan and it will all be ready in ten minutes.’
‘What would we do without you?’ Ryan replied as he dropped his jacket on the arm of the sofa.
‘You’d manage, but I’m just grateful I get to see so much of Lizzy and you. It could have been so very different and I’m just so happy we worked through everything.’
‘That makes two of us,’ he said, noddi
ng. ‘So where is that wonderful daughter of mine?’
‘In her room. I was going to speak to you about Lizzy tomorrow. She seems quite down at the moment. She mentions Tommy and Molly a lot, and I understand you want her to take things slowly with him. You did explain the boyfriend situation and the marriage proposal, and I know it was all a bit messy the way it came out, but she misses Molly terribly. I never met her but she sounds very nice.’
‘Well, she’s gone and we have to move on.’
‘Pity, a young woman needs another woman to talk to at times. You might need to perhaps arrange a lunch for the two of them because she really is very sad not being able to see her.’
Ryan walked with Ann to the front door. ‘I think Lizzy can confide in you quite enough, and I’ve lightened my workload so I’ll be having more time at home, so she can open up to me whenever she needs. There’s not so much happening in her life that she needs to find someone else to share the load.’
‘Quite the opposite, actually. She’s worried about the thought of the hysterectomy and wanted to chat to Molly about it.’
‘She said that?’
‘Yes. Lizzy doesn’t want to talk to me or Tommy or you about it. Perhaps let them chat on the phone. She said that the pain is bad and she wants to have the operation. She is quite sure she doesn’t want babies as they cry and they’re messy, so she doesn’t mind that she won’t be able to have them, but she’s a bit scared and she wants to talk to Molly about it.’
‘I don’t understand how she formed such a strong bond with her so quickly.’
‘By the sound of it, you did too, didn’t you?’
‘It wasn’t anything serious.’
‘I might be seventy-six, but I’m not silly. I know when a man has fallen in love and is still in love, and that’s you. You can choose to say it never happened but I can see it in your eyes.’
‘It was just one night,’ he replied, rubbing his neck. ‘A fling, nothing more. It didn’t work out.’
‘I don’t think it was a fling. I know you’ve had many flings over the last seven years, but Molly wasn’t one of them. There was more to it than that. It can be as complicated or as simple as you make it, Ryan.’
‘She kept something from me. And you of all people know I’ve been lied to in the worst possible way before and she did the same.’
‘I don’t know any such thing, Ryan,’ she said. ‘Tell me, who was she protecting?’
Ryan stood up and walked to the window and pulled back the heavy drapes to look out at the night sky.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re punishing Molly for protecting the person you love most in the world by keeping her confidence. Molly risked her relationship with you to make sure she didn’t let down Lizzy. She behaved like any mother would, under the same circumstances.’
‘That’s a romantic version of the situation.’
‘No, it’s the realistic one. Lizzy needs a mother figure, Ryan. She’s at that age when it’s important to be able to share things with someone closer to her age, not with her grandmother.’
‘She can share them with me...’
‘She can’t. You won’t accept that she is a young woman who wants the chance to love and Molly accepted that. And didn’t judge her.’
‘Her life is full without the complications. What if she gets her heart broken? How will I heal that for her?’
‘That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? You want to protect Lizzy. Well, you can’t, and shutting Molly out is making four of the sweetest people in the world suffer because of the actions almost twenty years ago by of one of the most selfish women in the world. You and Lizzy were both hurt by my daughter and I can see her for what she was then and still is. She has the life she wanted and she doesn’t want her past to ever interfere with her new family. She knows that you have custody of Lizzy and can’t understand why you would want to adopt her. Madeline doesn’t have a selfless bone in her body and her deceit ruined lives and robbed us all of Lizzy for a long time, but you can have everything your heart desires now if you just let go of the past. She hid a secret to benefit herself, not to protect anyone else. There’s a big difference.’
With that, Ann stood up and walked to the front door and prepared for the cold weather that would hit her when she stepped out to her car. ‘I love you, Ryan, like you were my own son, so I have to be honest. You, and you alone, are the only one standing in the way of everyone being happy. Including yourself. Stop trying to protect Lizzy from people who love her...and stop protecting your own heart from feeling the same happiness.’
* * *
Ryan didn’t put the heat on under the string beans that night. Instead he sat in the dark for an hour thinking about everything Ann and George had said. He hated to admit it at first but, alone in the darkness, he soon realised they were both right. He had been hiding behind the pain. Pushing Molly and Tommy away to protect Lizzy, when in fact his own actions were hurting her more. While he didn’t have the power to change the outcome for himself—he had single-handedly ruined that—he knew he had to make things right for Lizzy and Tommy.
It was late at night when he drove to Molly’s house with Lizzy in the car. He had explained to her that Molly was Tommy’s brother on the drive over and that they were going to visit them. He also explained that since they were unannounced they might not be able to stay, but that he wanted to try. When he pulled up, he left Lizzy locked in the warmth of the car and, unsure of what he would say and how Molly would react, he walked up the front path. He was taking a risk, but he had been a fool. He had brought the hurt from the past into his present and ruined everything wonderful. There was no one else to blame but himself, he knew, as he knocked on her door. While Tommy and Lizzy would have their struggles, Molly was right in wanting to support them.
‘What are you doing here?’ Molly demanded as she opened the door. Her emotions were still raw and she did not invite him in out of the chilly night air. Instead she pulled her dressing gown across her chest and stood her ground against him and the icy cold breeze.
‘I’m here to apologise and let you know that you were right.’
‘I’m confused, Ryan. Where’s this sudden change of heart coming from?’
Her brow was wrinkled and her eyes squinting in his direction and he didn’t blame her for her reaction.
‘What you said and did, all of it came from your heart, from pure intentions. I just couldn’t see it.’
‘A week ago, you told me you didn’t want to see me, you showed no desire to support Lizzy and Tommy’s relationship, oh, and that’s right, let’s not forget you fired me.’
‘I was stupid and there is no excuse for what I did.’
‘Yes, you were, and no, there’s not. So, if that’s it, goodnight.’ With that Molly half-closed the door.
‘Wait, Molly. Please hear me out.’
‘Why should I?’
‘For Lizzy and Tommy’s sake...and for us.’
Molly flinched. ‘Us? I trusted you, I let you into my heart and you threw that away. There is no us. It was over before it began.’
‘No, it began and it was real for both of us. There has never been anything more real to me than what we shared that night. But if it’s over for you, then I will understand and respect your decision, but you need to understand why I did what I did,’ Ryan said, not taking his eyes away from Molly for a second. ‘I’ve spent the last seven years feeling guilty for not being there for Lizzy. The thought of my baby daughter being alone in the hospital and then being adopted when I should have been protecting her from the moment she was born has driven me to protect her at all costs. I didn’t want her to get hurt like that ever again.’
Molly lifted her chin and took a deep breath. ‘But I would never hurt Lizzy, not for anything in the world.’
‘I know that. I was just scared if she fell in lo
ve she would get hurt and I worried you were encouraging her to be in love. Not that there’s anything wrong with that anyway.’
‘I wasn’t encouraging her, I was supporting her. And being hurt is part of life, Ryan.’
‘I know, and you were strong enough to risk that hurt when you put your trust in me that night in...our hotel room.’
‘Well, that was a bad decision on my part.’
‘No, it wasn’t, in my mind. My knee-jerk reaction was the bad decision. You did everything you could to make everyone happy. I didn’t know how to deal with the idea of my daughter falling in love. It scared me to the core but the way I reacted was wrong and what you did was right. I’ve realised that I’ve been an idiot and, while I thought I had put the past behind me, in fact I was still hiding behind it and using it as a shield.’
Molly looked past Ryan, still unsure what to think. ‘Is there someone in the car?’
‘Yes, Lizzy’s out there. I’m hoping that you will allow her to see Tommy and she’s excited to see you. She’s missing you both so badly and nothing will cheer her up. If you slam the door on me and choose never to forgive me, I would understand. And I’d deserve it, but, please, can you consider allowing Lizzy to stay here with you for an hour or so. I can go and come back later.’
‘You want Lizzy to spend time with Tommy?’
‘Yes.’
‘And me?’
‘Yes.’
‘So, you approve of their engagement, then?’
‘Yes. Tommy’s a wonderful young man. There was never any doubt in my mind about that. And, by how unhappy she is without him, I know she loves him too.’
Molly turned her head to listen to what he had to say.
‘There’s no guarantee they’ll survive the challenges ahead. I know now they both deserve a chance at love and our support. And Lizzy wants and needs you to help her make a very big decision. It’s a woman’s issue and I would appreciate if you would talk that one through and perhaps meet with her specialist if you have time. A father can only do so much.’
He stepped back a little to give Molly space to think.
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