“Yo’,” I spoke in a low tone. I knew whatever it was at this time of morning it couldn’t be good.
“These niggas are trippin’ out here, B, you need to come through and handle this shit,” JB yelled into the receiver.
“What niggas?”
“Down on the block. Kenyon then went and put some shit in they ear and now niggas are tripping talking ’bout they can’t trust you and shit.”
I was pissed, I wasn’t trying to hear that shit but deep down I knew it was coming. I could actually understand how they could feel the way they did. But shit, I was the boss running things so either they would get down or lay the fuck down, and that was my word. “I can’t deal with this shit right now, JB. I got so much going on man. This shit with Kemp is fucking up my home life and everything. The way I feel now, I’ll fuck around and blow his ass away. I need you to be a soldier and take care of it.”
“I’m sorry to bother you but I didn’t know how you wanted me to handle it. Is Diamond okay?”
“Naw man, I fucking snapped and I didn’t mean to. She’s been upstairs crying for hours.”
“Damn, man, maybe you should go stay with Trice tonight.”
“I’m not leaving, I just gotta get my head right. Shit is getting out of control.”
“All right, well, call me when you get up in the A.M. I’m going to do another pick up now.”
“All right,” I replied before ending the call. I heard Diamond coming out of the bedroom and going into the bathroom. I felt like this was my cue. I walked up the steps and stood outside of the door. She opened it and was startled by my presence.
“Diamond.”
She turned off the bathroom light and walked past me toward the bedroom. I followed behind her but didn’t speak. She climbed into bed and pulled the blankets over her body. I had never seen her like this. I knew about the relationship she had with her ex, Davey, and how he treated her. The way that he cheated and how they fought like cats and dogs. I could see by the way she looked at me how disappointed she was. I sat down in the chair opposite the bed and stared in her direction. As she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, I put my head back and closed my eyes too.
Chapter 5
Diamond
Spoiled Rotten
I opened my eyes and noticed Black asleep in the chair across from me. I was still angry about last night but regardless of his fuck-ups, I still had a soft spot for him. I knew he was sorry since any other night he’d be out running the streets. I sat up on the side of the bed and the sound of the box spring woke him up.
“Hey babe, you feel any better?” he said as he sat straight up. I was tempted to ignore him but I wanted to just get on with the day and let it go.
“I’m fine.”
“Can I get you some breakfast or something?”
“No, I’m not hungry.”
“You sure, ’cause I can get JB to drop something off or we can go to IHOP or something.”
“I said I’m not hungry, Black—damn!” I got up from the bed and walked toward the door.
“I’m sorry, D, for everything.”
I didn’t say a word. I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. I had already decided that I would do some shopping today since shopping was the only thing that could help when I was upset. I did the morning ritual of brushing my teeth and washing my face. Black was gone when I came out. I let out a sigh of relief. I walked into the bedroom and saw a blue sheet of paper with writing on it. Next to it was a wad of money. I bent down to grab it. The note read:
I know I fucked up, but I’m going to make it up to you. I know shopping helps you clear your head when you’re angry so here’s a few dollars for you. Buy something nice on me.
I smiled. He knew me well. Of course, I had my own money so I wasn’t jumping for joy like I would have a few years back but I was smiling because he really wanted me to forgive him. I sat the note back down and grabbed my cell to text his phone. I LOVE YOU was all I wrote. I got dressed and headed out for my day of shopping. I opened the door and turned to close it and a tall, dark-skinned man was walking up the path. He was older, probably in his late forties. He had on a suit and dress shoes and was carrying a briefcase. I hoped my ass wasn’t about to get subpoenaed to court or some shit.
“Hi, can I help you?” I asked, nervously.
“Yes, I’m trying to locate a Mrs. Diamond Brooks.”
“Well, I’m Diamond, but my last name isn’t Brooks any more. What can I do for you?”
“Don’t I look familiar to you? Isn’t there anything about me that looks familiar?” he said, as I stood there staring at him. I didn’t really see anything that stuck out to me but there was obviously something he wanted me to see.
“No, really it doesn’t. Is it supposed to?” I was still clueless.
“It’s me, Diamond, your dad.”
My heart dropped at that moment. I mean, with all the shit that I was going through at the moment someone would play a cruel-ass joke like this. I knew this couldn’t be my father, I would have recognized him. Then he smiled, the smile that I couldn’t forget, the same smile that I saw the day he disappeared from my life. Was it really him? What the hell was I supposed to do, hug him or slap him? I never thought that I’d see him again. I could have prepared what I would say but instead I stood in front of him, speechless.
“Are you okay?” he asked, breaking the silence.
I stood still, staring at him. I was trying to look deep inside of him, hoping I could get answers without asking. He’d been gone almost twelve years. Why would he come back now?
“I’m fine—actually no, I’m not. I’m trying to figure out why you’re here.” Is that what I wanted to say?
“I expected you to say that. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t. I want to explain everything if you’ll give me a chance to.”
“How did you find out where I lived?”
“Through a private investigator,” he replied.
“What? Why go through all the trouble? I mean, you left with no problem.”
“I really want to explain and I don’t think this is a good place. Could we go to lunch or something and talk?”
I wasn’t truly ready to hear why he’d walked away. I had to figure out what to say to at least put the conversation off for another day. He stood there, waiting for my answer. The look on his face was so sincere, I could’ve almost been fooled, fooled into believing that he’d been there all the time or that he’d even been looking for me all of those years.
“I have an appointment in less than an hour, so could we meet tomorrow?”
He looked at me as if he were preparing to burst into tears. What was I missing? I mean, how could you miss me so much and stay gone so long? I wasn’t trying to be mean at all but I wasn’t going to be fooled into believing that I would have the void filled that had been empty for so long.
“There’s no way you can fit me in today?”
I stood quiet for a few seconds before answering, I almost said yes. “Really, I can’t. I have an important appointment that can’t be missed.”
“So is there a number I can call you at?”
“You’ve managed to find me this time, I’m sure it won’t be hard to find me again.” I turned and walked toward my car. I didn’t want to turn around and see his face. Shit, I wanted him to feel the pain that I’d felt all of these years.
I got in the car, pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes, and drove away. Once I got around the corner, I let go the tears that I had held in the entire time I stood in front of him. I had to tell someone but I wasn’t sure how much of a shoulder Black could be for me to lean on at the time so I drove over to Kiki’s office. Kiki, of course, had always been one of my best friends and was there in my times of need. Once I got all of the money from Kemp’s death I bought Kiki her own bar. I wasn’t about to have my best friend continue to work for tips at someone else’s bar. The bar was a success from the grand opening and Kiki was where she needed to be, in
charge. I pulled up in front of her office, which was located directly in back of the bar in Center City. I saw her car in front of the door so I knew that she was inside. She opened it before I even had a chance to get out and knock.
“I saw your car pull up, what’s up, girl? I was going to call you today too.”
I took off my sunglasses and displayed the drying tears on my cheeks. She walked over and hugged me.
“What the hell happened, is that nigga still acting up?”
“Girl, you won’t believe who showed up on my doorstep today.”
“Who?”
“My father,” I said in a low tone. It almost brought tears to my eyes again.
“What? Girl, come on inside so we can sit down and talk. Your father though? Where the hell has he been?” she asked, while entering the door. I followed behind her and sat down in the first available chair.
“I don’t know where the hell he’s been. He says he found me through a private investigator. I didn’t even know what to say, girl, I was standing there like a damn statue.”
“I can’t believe he had the audacity to just show up on your damn doorstep. He could have wrote a letter or some shit to see how you felt about seeing him. I mean, damn, people don’t even think. He didn’t even know if you wanted to see him.”
“I was so shocked, like it’s been over ten years. I’m not sure what he expected me to say.”
“Shit, he probably didn’t expect you to say anything. I mean, how could he? I think that’s so inconsiderate what he did. Did you tell Black?”
“No, I haven’t talked to Black and now that you mentioned it, he didn’t respond to my text. I’m about to call him right now.” I dialed his number, which went straight to voice mail. I was pissed. After the shit that had been going on lately I couldn’t understand how he could turn off his fucking phone. I screamed into the answering machine as soon as I heard the beep. “Just when I thought you were sorry you pull this shit! Why is your fucking phone off, Black? Call me when you get this damn message!”
Kiki sat at the desk, shaking her head. “What?” I asked with my face in knots.
“I don’t know when you’re gonna learn that niggas ain’t never been shit and ain’t never gonna be shit! You can’t let that nigga get you all upset and shit, it’s not worth it girl. I see I still have to be the mommy around here.”
“Everything is just so messed up right now, Kiki, I gotta look over my shoulders and hope Kemp doesn’t come blow my head off. I can’t keep worrying about him all the time. I have to worry about me.”
“That’s the right idea!” She laughed.
I smiled but inside I felt like shit. I was lying. I was worried about him and of course even more worried about myself.
“Well, I’m headed to the mall so I’ll get with you later,” I said, before getting up and hugging her.
“Okay and remember what I said.”
“I will, girl.”
As soon as I got inside the car I pulled out my cell to call him again. As I entered the number the phone began to ring. It was Black.
“Yo’, what’s up?” His voice boomed even over the loud music that played in the background.
“Why the hell was your phone off?”
“It wasn’t off, somebody else was calling at the same time. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is that every time I need you here lately you’re not available!”
“What the hell are you talking about, Diamond?”
“I need to talk to you about something—could you just come home?”
“I can’t right now, you know that.”
“Just like I thought, ’bye, Black!”
“Diamond?”
“What?” I responded angrily.
“I’ll be there in a half.”
“Okay,” I smiled before hanging up. I knew what to say to get him home when I wanted him to be. He got home about five minutes short of the half hour that he’d promised. I was sitting on the sofa with the lights off. My mind was spinning and I didn’t know how to stop it. I always thought that the day I finally saw my father, I’d hug him and the empty void that was there for so many years would be closed. Nothing ever turns out the way that I imagine, which always ended up being a huge disappointment. When I was disappointed, I always made stupid decisions.
Black walked in, looking around to find me. Once he noticed me sitting on the sofa he turned on the lamp and walked over.
“Babe, why are you sitting here in the dark? What’s going on?” He sat down next to me.
“My father showed up today,” I replied in a low tone.
“What?”
“Yes, I was leaving out and he was walking up the path.”
“Well, what the hell did he say? I mean, why did he show up?”
“I don’t know, he wanted to go to lunch but I lied and said I had somewhere important to be. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t stand to look at him after the way he left me.”
“Well you shouldn’t have been put in that position. I’m sorry you had to go through that shit today with all of the other shit going on.” He moved closer to me and didn’t say another word. I mean, there wasn’t really anything that he could say. Him being there next to me was good enough. I lay in his arms on the sofa and closed my eyes. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep within seconds.
Chapter 6
Black
Eyes Behind My Head
Boom . . .
Debris was everywhere. All I could remember was sticking my hand on the handle to open up the car door and hearing a loud-ass boom and a force unlike any that I’d ever felt in my life. I landed up against the wall. My eyes were closed and I instantly felt the back of my head throbbing. I rubbed the back of my head, which felt like it was bleeding. What the fuck? I yelled. My car was sitting just a few feet away from me on fire. This shit was getting crazy! At this point I wanted this nigga to just show his face so we could get this shit over with. I heard sirens in the background as I tried to peel myself off of the pavement.
“Are you okay sir?” The one paramedic asked.
I couldn’t even respond. I was still in shock and I was dizzy as hell with a banging headache. I tried to get up again.
“Stay still, sir, we’ll get you to a hospital.”
“I’m fine, I don’t need a hospital.”
“Sir, you have to go to a hospital, your head is bleeding and you could have a concussion.”
“I said I’m fine.” I tried to force myself up and fell right back down. I was pissed. “Damn!” I yelled in frustration. This nigga was really getting the best of me. My head was spinning and my legs were shaking. Before long, I was being put on the gurney, strapped down, and rolled into the back of the ambulance. The whole ride I kept asking to use the phone and they wouldn’t allow me to. I needed to make sure that Diamond was okay.
“Please, can I call my girl? Whoever did this could be trying to hurt her.”
The male paramedic didn’t budge while the female paramedic immediately looked concerned.
“Do you have your phone?” she asked. Her male partner turned to look at her with a frown. She wasn’t fazed.
“Yeah, it’s in my left pocket.”
She went in my pocket and retrieved the phone. “I can’t unstrap you for safety reasons but I can dial it for you.”
“Cool, her name’s Diamond. It’s in the phone book.”
She dialed the number and placed the phone near my ear.
“Hello?”
“Babe, are you okay?” I asked, breathing heavily. I had never been happier to hear her voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine, what’s wrong with you?”
“Somebody put a bomb in my car but . . .”
“A bomb! Baby, are you hurt?”
“I’m okay, they’re taking me to the hospital now. Don’t run down here, I’m okay.”
“I’m coming now.”
“Babe . . .”
“What hospital are you going to
? It’s not up for discussion, Black.”
“I think Penn,” I replied. I knew there wasn’t any arguing with her at this point.
“I’ll meet you there.” Click!
I looked over at the female paramedic and nodded my head in thanks. We arrived at the hospital where they hurried me into trauma. The whole time I repeated that I was fine and wanted to go home. My requests went unheard. After an hour of trying to fight them, they sedated me. The last thing I could remember was seeing a long-ass needle and heavy eyelids. When I woke up, Diamond was sitting in a chair at the bedside.
“Hey, Babe, how are you feeling?” She got up from the chair and came over to sit next to me.
“I’m good.”
“What the hell happened?”
“Somebody put a bomb in the car and . . .”
“A bomb?”
“Listen, don’t get bent all out of shape. I’m okay as you can see.”
“You could have been killed. We have to get away from here, babe.”
“I’m not running from that nigga, fuck him! If he’s coming, I’m waiting.”
“You see what keeps happening? He’s going to kill one of us.” I could tell how afraid she was. What the hell was I supposed to say? There probably wasn’t anything that I could say to ease her mind. I thought about what she said and it made perfect sense, getting away. I wasn’t about to run but I needed to get her out of harm’s way. Even if just for a week or two, it would give me time to sort things out.
“Look, I’m going to send you away for a couple of weeks. See if Kiki can get free and go with you,” I said as I sat up in bed. I knew sending her away without me wouldn’t be easy. I prepared myself for an argument.
“What? Why the hell would I go away and leave you here? If I go anywhere you’re going with me.”
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