“Tomorrow? But—how—what— Oh, my God.”
He crossed the room in two strides, and before she could push him away, he pulled her to his chest and held her tightly. She was silent and still for a long moment, but then he felt her shoulders shake, and his own chest ached with the hell of it.
He’d agreed to watch over her, he’d promised himself he wouldn’t get involved, and instead, what had he done?
He’d fallen hard and fast for a woman he could never have…one whose life he needed to step clear of right now, before anybody in the universe realized they were anything more than a couple of people thrown together by circumstance. Before anyone realized they meant anything to each other.
Before anybody came digging for more headlines.
She pulled back, her eyes wet with tears. “You’re innocent! How can they do this? How?”
Cooper watched her face grow heated, watched her tiny hands ball into fists, watched her eyes take on a fire he hadn’t seen. And while one piece of him was warmed by her automatic leap to his defense, a bigger piece of him knew he was about to break her heart for real, and it was killing him.
“It’s the way the law works, Shelby. So innocent men don’t rot in jail. It’s a process.”
“But it’s not an innocent man who’s in jail. He’s guilty.”
“I know that. But he’s got a lot of friends pulling strings.”
“Dammit, Cooper. This isn’t fair.” She braced her hands on the back of a chair, and he watched tears crowd the corners of her eyes. “What’s going to happen?”
“I don’t know, exactly.” He took a deep breath, let it out slowly. “I’m waiting for more information. All I know is I have to be on the road tomorrow afternoon, and after that? I just…I don’t know.”
“Why—how—when were you going to tell me?”
He closed his eyes. Never, I’d hoped.
“I had a voicemail from my attorney when I turned on my phone this morning.”
“Oh, God.” She turned around, pacing toward the window again, her arms crossed. “Oh, God, God, God. This can’t be happening. How can this be happening? This isn’t right. This isn’t why we have a legal system. The system’s supposed to protect the innocent, not let the guilty keep playing games and denying their guilt until they exhaust the courts. This isn’t right.”
“I know.”
She stomped, and he almost smiled at the childish gesture she hadn’t been able to help. Her breath was shaky as she crossed her arms.
“I’ll go with you. I’ll help. I can find you an excellent lawyer.”
He stared at her for a long moment, her words sticking to his ribs like peanut butter mixed with glue. Then he pulled her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her.
“I can’t let you do that, Shelby.”
“Why not?”
He sighed. “For a hundred reasons, sweetheart.” He kissed the top of her head, then backed up and leaned against the counter, crossing his own arms so he wouldn’t reach for her again.
“Name one.” Her chin came up, but it quivered.
“I was accused of drugging underage runaways and selling them for sex, Shelby. And I’m pretty sure half the population of Boston still doesn’t know I didn’t do it. All they saw was the sensationalized media coverage of the early days, before bigger things caught their attention. My name—my family’s name—got dragged through the muck, and even though I’m innocent, that name now carries a weight we’ll never shake off.”
“But…none of it was your fault. And what does it have to do with me coming with you or not?”
“Whether it was my fault just doesn’t matter.” He sighed. “Imagine this for a minute—some reporter gets wind of you and I here together at Whisper Creek, or you and I holing up in my Boston apartment. Some crazy paparazzo snaps a few incriminating pictures.” He snapped his fingers like a camera shutter. “And suddenly, teen sensation Tara Gibson is consorting with the guy at the head of Boston’s most infamous sex-for-drugs scandal.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?” He raised his eyebrows. “You’ve been a celebrity long enough to know that the truth falls secondary to the story, many times.”
“But seriously.” She shook her head. “Any reporter worth her salt would dig far enough to see that you weren’t convicted—that you were framed. Don’t even go there.”
“The case is no longer closed, Shelby. And that’s the news she’d report. She’d dig up the pictures, the headlines, the absolute shit-storm that was my life for the past year, and she’d put a whole new spin on it to keep it fresh. There are reporters all over Boston clawing at each other for the best new headline right now, and they’ll get it. You know they will, and I know they will. It’s just a matter of time. Davis’s lawyer’s feeding out just enough tidbits to keep them swarming, and eventually, they’ll find something they can latch onto and use to ruin what’s left of my shredded reputation. That’s how it’s going to go down, whether or not I’m acquitted again in the end.”
Cooper sat down, suddenly unsure that his own legs could hold his weight. Because what was he going back to? A family that had disowned him, an apartment filled with dusty furniture and cobwebs, and one person who’d actually talk to him—his lawyer.
And Phoebe.
God, this was going to kill his sister.
Yeah, the horses and the blue skies and the jagged mountains he’d been filling his head with for the past few months would be fond, vague memories within a week.
And the woman he’d filled his life with for the past few weeks?
There’d be nothing vague about those memories.
“You really think there will be a new trial?” Her arms were like steel bars against her stomach—like she was using them to not fall apart in the middle.
“I don’t know. It depends on the evidence. Depends on a lot of things, I guess. I’ll know more when I get back there.”
“So, worst-case scenario, because somehow I need to know, even though I don’t want to…what if you do have to go to trial again? What if, this time, you don’t win?”
Cooper pulled his eyes away from hers, unable to say the words while he was looking at her. “Then I could go to prison.”
Her hand flew to her mouth, and her eyes darted toward the bathroom like she thought she might throw up.
“No.”
“Yes.” He shook his head, hardly believing he could speak so calmly about it. “That’s the reality of it.”
“So why won’t you let me help? I could still…help. Couldn’t I? Help?” Her voice was soft, like she knew her offer was as useless as the number of times she was repeating the word. Only God and a well-picked jury were going to be enough to get him out of this, at this point.
“No, princess. You can’t. This is a big-ass demon that I need to go back and fight by myself. If anyone even gets a whisper of a clue that we have any connection, I’ll bring you right down with me. I can’t do that, Shelby. I won’t. No one can ever know we even know each other. Or ever did.” He pushed frustrated fingers through his hair. “I never should have—we never—”
“Don’t.” Shelby sat down hard on the couch, pulling up her knees. She was silent for an entire brutal minute before she finally lifted her eyes to his. “What are you saying, Cooper?”
He blew out a breath. “I don’t even know. I’m just—I mean, here you are joking about a contract-breaking headline being your only hope of freeing yourself from LolliPop, and here I am practically handing you one. But this isn’t the headline you want, Shelby. Because you being with me is absolutely not something your record company can spin. No record company could.”
“What does that—what do you…mean? We can figure this out.”
“I don’t—don’t think we can. This is killing me, Shelby, more than you can ever know, but I just—we can’t—this is never going to work. There’s just—there’s no way it can.”
Cooper blew out a tortured breath. Jesus,
he couldn’t even string words into comprehensible sentences right now.
She narrowed her eyes. “Are you—are we—is this you breaking up with me?” She shook her head like she was clearing cobwebs. “Which is a stupid thing to say, because we’re grown adults, and maybe—ugh—maybe our days were numbered, anyway, but seriously! I can’t be the only one thinking that maybe this is more than a summer fling. And if I am—well, God. I—wow.”
Her voice shook, and he hated himself more than he’d thought possible as she touched his arm. “I can help you, Cooper! This doesn’t have to be…goodbye.”
In her eyes he saw a mixture of fear and anger, and he knew he had to do whatever he could to make the anger win, so that she could move on without him. Because no matter what—however the next couple of months of his life played out—there was no way Shelby Quinn or Tara Gibson could ever stage a comeback if he was in the picture. Her career had been built with a teen audience. His career had ended with one.
Nobody could ever know they’d been together, or life as she knew it…would be over.
She took a catchy breath that sliced him through the ribs. “I don’t understand, Cooper. We can stay undercover. People do it all the time.”
“It’s not that simple, Shelby. There is a citywide dragnet looking to paste my picture on any front page available. I won’t be able to buy a gallon of milk without somebody knowing about it. They’ll be stationed at my front and back doors twenty-four/seven. I know how this goes. There’s no way we’d be able to make it work, even if I wanted it to.”
Her eyes snapped up at his words, and he almost swore. Dammit. That wasn’t how that was supposed to come out.
“Oh.” She nodded slowly, like she couldn’t quite wrap her head around what he’d said…like she couldn’t quite figure out what response she wanted to give—or which he was hoping to hear.
“That didn’t come out right, Shelby.”
“Oh, I know.” She nodded faster, her words coming out like tiny arrows. “But maybe…maybe it did.”
“Shelby.”
She put up a hand to stop him. “I’m not sure what would be easier right now, Cooper. For you to just say something horrible so I can hate you? Or for you to admit that maybe you feel something—that this is killing you as much as it’s killing me. Because I gotta tell you, this is killing me. How can you just go back there alone? How can you not let me try to help you?”
He hated the way her eyes were going watery, hated that it was his fault. But he’d hate himself forever if he was somehow the cause of a breaking news story with her picture in the frame.
“I can’t do this to you, Shelby. I can’t draw you into something you’ll never be able to shake off. Do I wish it was different? Do I wish every damn thing was different? Hell, yes.” He put his hands on her shoulders, willing her to look at him. “I could go to prison, Shelby. Prison. I could end up spending years behind bars, and where would that leave you? Where would that leave your career? You think you’d wait around? Hoping maybe I’d still be the same person by the time I got out? Because I wouldn’t be. Nobody comes out of that the same as they went in.”
“You won’t go to prison, Cooper. It’s not possible. I can ask Daddy’s manager to front me some of the house-sale money. I can help you hire the best attorney.”
“No.” His voice was firm. “I would never let you do that.”
“This is a really stupid time to let your pride start talking. Just saying.”
“It’s not pride, hon. It’s reality. How long do you think it would take somebody to figure out the paper trail? To figure out Tara Gibson’s financing the legal defense of a teen-killer?”
“God!” She put her hand over her mouth. “Stop talking like that! You’re not that!”
“I know. But a lot of people don’t. And they’re the ones the press will pander to. Those teens overdosed and died, Shelby. They’ll never go home again, and half of Boston still thinks it’s my fault. I appreciate your offer, and I know you’re making it with a pure heart, and I love you for it, but I would never let you risk it.”
Her eyes softened for a brief moment, and he hated himself for dropping the L-word like that, in that context—dammit, in this room, where they’d shared so many moments that would torture him for years to come.
“So.” She took a deep breath, and he could tell she was doing her best not to lose it in front of him. “Where does this leave us? Because if you’re under some delusion that you’re going to fly back to Boston tomorrow and then I’m going to go on my merry way and forget you, you are effing insane.”
His eyes widened at her—admittedly polite-ish—F-bomb drop. “I don’t want you to forget anything, Shelby.” He reached down and pulled her off the couch, pressing her body to his as he cradled her face. “Because these past few weeks with you are going to be seared into my head until I can no longer think in a straight line. Because if the worst happens and I do go down for this, those memories are going to be the only thing that keeps me sane, at the same time they’ll drive me insane.”
“Coop—” Tears ran down her face unchecked now.
“We can’t, Shelby.”
“What about after? What if we just pretend right now that we don’t know each other, and after you’re acquitted again—because that is what’s going to happen—we can see?”
He hated the hope in her eyes, hated that he had to squash it so she didn’t keep a proverbial candle burning…one he couldn’t guarantee wouldn’t blow out in a cold, stiff breeze delivered by a jury of his peers.
“This could go on for months, Shelby. Years, if they work hard enough at it. You barely know me. You certainly don’t know me well enough to even think you could hold out hope for that long. It doesn’t make sense.”
“No, it doesn’t. And that’s why I know I could. I would, Cooper.”
He let his thumbs caress her skin for the last time, his damn heart pounding right through his chest.
“I can’t let you, Shelby. This is the only way. You know it, in your heart. And in a little while, you’ll be glad we did it this way. I know you will.”
She shook her head. “Never.”
“You think that now…”
“I’ll never not think that.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. You’ll never know just how sorry I am.” He leaned down, closing his eyes as he kissed her lips softly. Then he let his hands slide free of her face, using every muscle he had to pull them back to his own body as he turned toward the door.
“I’ll never forget you, Shelby Quinn.”
Chapter 24
Two days later, Shelby stared at her phone through a watery veil of tears, willing the damn thing to ring, or even just chime with an “I’m still alive” text. But no. Nothing. Cooper was gone, and she was here, and…hell. Nothing was right about the whole damn thing.
She balled up a tissue and shot it toward the trash can, but missed. As she leaned down to pick it up, there was a gentle knock at the door, and for a moment, her pulse went berserk, thinking maybe he was back.
But when she looked up, Lexi’s cautious smile greeted her, rather than Cooper’s cheeky grin, and she felt her breath whoosh out of her lungs.
“Hey, Shelby. How are you doing?”
“I’m okay.” Shelby resisted the urge to check her eyes in the mirror, fearing they’d be just as red and swollen as they’d been for the past two days. “What’s up?”
“Just checking in. Haven’t seen you in a couple of days, so I thought somebody oughtta make sure you’re alive.”
“I am.” Shelby tried to smile. “All good.”
“Shelby?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re kind of a sucky liar. Not sure anyone’s ever told you that.”
This time Shelby did smile. “I’ve heard that before.”
“Can I come in?” Without waiting for an answer, Lexi opened the door and came through, then stopped in the middle of the kitchen. “Wow. You’re not even trying to be orig
inal here.”
“What does that mean?” Shelby couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“Tissues? Chocolate wrappers? A pizza box? Seriously?”
“That one’s not my fault. I found it on my porch last night. Somebody ding-dong-ditched me.”
Lexi lifted the cover of the box, scooping out a cold piece of cheese pizza. “We have only the nicest hooligans here at Whisper Creek.”
“True.”
Lexi leaned on the counter, biting into the pizza. “So how are you really doing?”
“Oh—you know.” Shelby shrugged. Nobody was even supposed to know she and Cooper had had a—thing. She couldn’t really start blubbering about lost loves here, even if there was nothing else in the world she could think about.
“Huh.” Lexi nodded, tipping her head. “Let me ask you something—are you under any delusions that anyone on this ranch doesn’t know about you and Cooper?”
“What?” Shelby felt her cheeks go immediately pink.
“You. Cooper. Love. Lust. The whole sordid thing.”
“I—wha—I don’t—what?”
Lexi laughed. “Did you two really think you’d kept this under wraps?”
“Um, I plead the Fifth?”
“Not a viable defense at Whisper Creek. Too many way-too-nosy people out here knowing everybody’s business.”
“Oh.” Shelby bit her cheek. What did they know, exactly?
“So…he’s gone?”
“Yeah.” Her voice was soft, pained.
“For—good?”
Shelby sighed. “I don’t know. He had to go back to Boston for—things. And he was pretty convinced that he needed to do it alone.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Ha.” Shelby pointed at the table and counter. “Pretty sure I’m making that pathetically obvious.”
“Kind of, yes.” Lexi wrinkled her nose. “But it’s understandable. I get it.”
Shelby sat down on a kitchen stool, suddenly unsure her legs were going to hold her up for much longer. How in the world had Cooper gotten under her skin so thoroughly, so quickly, that she was suddenly so unmoored with him gone?
Lexi stood up, tossing her pizza crust in the trash, then headed to the sink to wash her hands. “How long do you have left here, Shelby?”
Meant to Be Page 21
