Tears were streaming down my face by the end. I could hear the ache in her voice, and it was mirrored in my chest. I missed my mom, too. Sure, we had our dysfunction, but she was still my mom. She was the one I went to when I found out my high school boyfriend had been cheating on me. That night we’d eaten raw cookie dough and watched shoot ‘em up action movies because I couldn’t bear to watch people fall in love. She was my mom, and I needed her. “I miss you too, Mom.”
“I just… I know I haven’t made this move of yours the easiest, and I’m so sorry. I want to do better. I want to be better.”
“Thanks. That means so much to me. I missed you too.”
She sighed like everything in her world had lined up. “Tell me about everything. What’s been going on in your life?”
I didn’t even know where to start. Ryan? My dad? The baby? What could I tell her? “I think I need a second. Can you tell me what’s going on at home first? I know we’ve talked about Sage, but how’s work? And Cal?”
“We’re fine honey. Cal and I had an argument because he went out and bought a new Harley without even talking to me about it. Fun marriage stuff. But we’re fine. Nothing you or Sage needs to worry about.”
Motorcycles. Marriage. Both words immediately made me think of Ryan. My stomach dropped. I didn’t want to explore that right then. “A new Harley, huh? He must love that. And Sage too.”
She scoffed. “I swear I hardly see those two lately. They’re always going for rides together.”
“I kinda feel like I’ve let things slide with Sage on my end. Today’s the first time I’ve talked to him in ages. It’s just been so crazy here with work and…” I wasn’t ready to go there just yet. “The distance doesn’t help either. I don’t know. It feels like I was better at being his sister when I was at school. The distance was the same in college, but I feel like I spent more time with Sage than I do now.”
“Well you had a lot more breaks then—Christmas, spring break, summer. Life changes when you graduate and join the working world.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Tell me about it.”
“How is work? Are they letting you do more real work yet?”
I filled Mom in about my job, the kids, and the programs I was helping with. And it felt like all was right in my world again. She laughed at my stories and my face hurt from smiling.
“So that’s work. What about the other thing?”
A whooshing sound filled my ears and my scalp tingled. I didn’t—I wasn’t ready yet. I cleared my throat. “What other thing?”
“Guys? Are you dating anyone? What about that one coach you were talking about earlier? Daniel? Sounded like there might be something there.”
“No. Nothing going on with Daniel, but there is a guy in my life.”
“Someone in your father’s motorcycle club?” She asked flatly.
I cleared my throat again. “Not exactly, but I did meet him through Dad.” And here we go. “Have you heard of the Burns Brothers? They build custom motorcycles and have their own reality show? Well, technically it was a special but now they’re taping a reality show. It’s all about the four brothers, well, there’s a cousin too—”
“Honey, you’re babbling.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“The Burns Brothers? I think I’ve heard your—er, Cal talking about them before.”
“Yeah, well, I’m seeing Ryan Burns.”
“Oh.”
God, this was awkward. Clearly mom was hesitant to ask too many questions, and I wasn’t sure how much I was ready to tell her yet.
“Well, that’s nice, honey. Does he treat you right? Are you happy?”
“I am, Mom. I really like him.”
“Good. Great. I can’t wait to meet him. Speaking of which, I wanted to plan a little family visit and come and see you. I’ll drag Cal and Sage along, and we’ll make a long weekend of it. What do you think?”
“Sounds good. I’d love to see you guys. There’s a lot we need to catch up on.”
“Okay. We’ll talk in a few days and see what dates we can get to line up.” I heard a rumbling murmur in the background, and my mom covered the phone as she replied. “Okay, honey, I gotta go. Cal wants to eat, and I don’t think we have any food in the house. Cal says hi by the way.”
“I say hi back. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Bye.”
I set my phone down and took a deep breath. That felt good. Like maybe things with my mom could get back to somewhat normal. But it hadn’t felt right to tell her about the baby. But soon. Maybe when they came over for a visit.
That kinda news was probably better to reveal face to face, right?
I pushed away from the counter with a sigh. I had to get ready for my date with Ryan. He’d be here any minute.
And I tried not to think about the fractured relationship with my dad that I had no idea how—or even if I wanted—to heal.
* * *
I could tell something was eating at Ryan when he came to pick me up twenty minutes later. “Are you okay?”
We were waiting in the hallway outside of my apartment for the elevator, and for the first time in a long time, Ryan was a full arm’s length—if not more—away from me. For the past few weeks, if we were near each other, he had to be touching me somehow. It was possessive and sweet, and I missed it. Not to mention the way his entire body was vibrating. He was stressed.
“I’m fine.” Ryan stuffed his hands in his front pockets and kept his eyes on the elevator doors.
Yeah, I didn’t believe him. But he didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so I didn’t press him. He’d talk to me when he was ready. I hoped.
But he remained silent in the elevator, through the lobby and parking lot and then the entire drive to his Aunt’s restaurant. I didn’t know what was going on. I guess I could say something again, maybe reach out and try to touch him? But I was afraid. This thing we had was so new, I didn’t want to push him too far, too fast. I spent the whole drive with my stomach in knots.
It was almost a relief when we pulled up to Bette’s Diner.
From the outside, it looked like any other fifties diner with the retro architecture and metal cladding. I wanted to ask who Bette was, but Ryan still wasn’t in a chatty mood. He still crossed over and opened my door like he had every time we were out together, but he didn’t reach for my hand and hold it as we walked to the entrance. We could’ve been two strangers for all the body language we shared. This wasn’t the Ryan I’d come to know. And I didn’t know what to do about it.
A bell jangled overhead as we entered.
“You came!” A woman shouted from the other side of the restaurant.
All the stiffness fell away from Ryan as a grin stretched over his face. “Pretty sure I had to. Your invite felt more like a threat.”
Was that what this was all about? Was Ryan nervous about introducing me to his aunt?
And then a small, colorful woman hurled herself into Ryan’s arms.
“Oomph.” Ryan fell back a step as he caught her.
“Oh shut up you!” She pulled back and slapped him on the arm. “I’m a buck ten. Stop making it sound like I weigh a ton.”
“It’s not the weight I was protesting.” Ryan laughed. “More like the speed at which you hurled yourself at me.”
Wendy huffed again. “You’re a big, strong man. I think you can take it. So, is this her?”
“Yes.” Ryan stepped away from Wendy and for the first time that night, reached out and took my hand. “Hope, this is Wendy. Wendy, this is my girlfriend, Hope.”
Girlfriend? I bit back a silly grin. I’d called him my boyfriend when I introduced him to my boss, but we still hadn’t had that conversation. I gave him a little side eye look. He hitched a shoulder and smiled down at me. My goofy smile escaped and spread across my lips as I turned to Wendy and held my hand out. “Hi.”
“Oh honey, we don’t shake hands in this family. Come here.”
And before I could blink, Wend
y’s colorfully tattooed arms enveloped me in a bone-crushing hug. For such a small, slender woman, Wendy really packed a punch.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t at Austin’s to meet you with the rest of the family.”
“Oh, that’s all right. If it makes you feel better, Ryan hasn’t met any of my family. My mom lives four hours away with my stepdad and little brother.”
Ryan cleared his throat and shook his head subtly. What did that mean?
“What about your father?” Wendy asked, still holding onto my hands.
Oh right.
Crap.
“Um….”
Ryan heaved a huge sigh. “Her dad is—”
He broke out as the bell jingled again as another couple entered.
“Can we do this somewhere else? Or some other time?” Ryan wrapped an arm around me and pulled me away from his aunt. “We should order. Hope is hungry.”
“Oh yeah. Sure.” Wendy turned around and headed for a set of booths on the other side of the room away from everyone else. “Take your pick. I’ll bring out your food.”
I watched in bewilderment as she walked back toward the kitchen. “But we didn’t order.”
Ryan scooted into the circular booth. “Family doesn’t order here. Wendy brings out whatever, and you eat until you feel like popping. Don’t worry, there will be a ton of stuff to choose from, so you just eat whatever you like.”
I laughed lightly as I scooted into the booth too. “I’m not worried about eating anymore. I got some anti-nausea medicine from the doctor, and I feel great now. I could eat enough for a football team.”
“You saw the doctor?” It sounded like an accusation the way he bit the words out.
“Not really. I called his office yesterday about the morning sickness, and he had some pills waiting for me at the front desk. He said they were perfectly fine to take while pregnant.” I paused and took in his annoyed expression. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing. I’m not mad. I just…” Ryan huffed out a breath. “I’m sorry. I just want to be there for every appointment. I don’t want to miss anything. I want to be there. I want to hold your hand. I’m all in. That’s what I’m trying to say.”
My heart melted. I’d been worried he was turning into a controlling douchebag, but this? “You didn’t miss anything this time I swear. I talked to the nurse; she made a note in my chart then gave me some sample pills. Nothing happened.”
“Okay. Just let me know if anything’s going on with you. I want to help. I want to be there for you.” He paused as a busboy approached the table and left two waters. And when he spoke again his voice was deep and rough like the words were coming from somewhere deep inside him. “I know this whole thing started as a fling and then we kept seeing each other because of a mistake, but it was the best mistake of my life. I don’t regret a single thing that has happened with us. I love you, Hope.”
“Really?” Oh my god. Tears welled in my eyes as he said what I’d been afraid to think, let alone confess to him. I knew I was falling for him, but was I in love with him? All my doubts crowded in. “It’s too early. We’ve only been together for—”
“It doesn’t matter. When you know, you know. And I know. I love you. And I can’t wait to meet the person we made the first time we met. Because I’m sure I’m going to love her too.”
“Ryan.” Emotion welled inside me and spilled out through my tears. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to repeat the words back to him, but I didn’t know if I was ready to say it out loud. I felt so much, and it was all so tangled up inside me.
“It’s okay, beautiful.” He smiled and his eyes looked suspiciously shiny. “I don’t need to hear the words back right now. I just want to let you know that I love you, and that I’m going to do whatever I have to to protect you and our baby.”
“Baby?” A new and familiar voice sounded overhead, and I winced.
But that was nothing compared to the way Ryan flinched.
Wendy stood with wide eyes at the end of the booth, a tray filled with food and drinks in her hands. “You’re having a baby?”
Chapter 22
Ryan
Fuck me.
I don’t know why I’d felt like this was the place to have that heart-to-heart with Hope. To be honest, I kinda forgot where we were for a minute.
The tray Wendy had been holding dropped onto our table with a solid thunk.
Fuck me. There was no way I was ducking out of this conversation. I might’ve wished for an earthquake for a second, but the San Andreas wasn’t taking requests apparently.
I cleared my throat. “We aren’t telling people yet, but yes, Hope and I are having a baby.”
“Oh wow. Oh my god. I don’t… Wow.” Wendy sank onto the corner of the banquet near me. Her hand was shaky as she reached for one of her trademarked Bloody Mary’s with the shrimp cocktail topper. “I’m gonna take this, since apparently you’re not drinking.” Wendy tossed the shrimp aside and downed half the drink in one swallow.
Hope looked at me with wide eyes, but honestly I didn’t know what to say.
Or do.
“Whoa.” Wendy plunked her drink down with a hiss. “Okay. That helped some. You wanna take a slug before we get into this, Ryan?”
“I’m not drinking since Hope can’t, and I don’t see what there is to get into. Hope and I are having a baby. I love her. We’re together. So you can either get on the train or not. Either way, this is happening.”
“Uh…” Wendy looked wide-eyed from me to Hope and back again. I’d just dropped a lot on her, and she clearly needed a second to absorb it.
I lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. There wasn’t anything more to say really.
“Um, I’d like to say that you’ve raised a wonderful man.” Hope’s voice sounded husky and her eyes shone with tears. “Ryan has been nothing but respectful and supportive and all I could ask for in a partner. I don’t have a lot of people in my life that I can count on and fewer men who are worthy of my trust. But not Ryan. He’s…everything I didn’t know I was looking for in a man.”
Wendy sat back against the banquet. “I think that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Thank you. You spend years raising these boys and don’t know…” She trailed off as she swiped at her eyes. “Thank you.”
Hope tipped her head and smiled.
“But are you sure you’re talking about this Ryan?” Wendy asked with a twinkle in her eyes. “This hot-tempered, hard-headed asshole? Honestly this is kinda feeling like Invasion of the Body Snatchers moment. Or is this some kind of an elaborate prank?”
“Ha ha.” I shook my head. Leave it to Aunt Wendy to take a heartwarming moment and bust my balls. “Nope. Totally in love and completely pregnant.”
“And as proof, I really need to pee.” Hope blinked up at me. “Are you gonna be all right if I leave the two of you alone for a minute?”
“Yes, Hope.” I rolled my eyes. “We’ll be fine.”
Wendy grinned wickedly. “I promise that I’ll wait until you’re back before filleting him with my favorite knife.”
Hope froze.
I sighed. “Go. She’s joking. I think.”
Hope gave us a fake smile, looking more freaked than happy as she scooted off the bench seat then headed off in the wrong direction. Before I could say anything, she stopped, looked around, and then made for the restrooms.
“You’re going to be daddy.” Wendy shook her head. “I can’t believe it. Well obviously it’s true if she’s peeing all the time and you’ve become a teetotaler in her honor. Never thought I’d see the day—not the baby bit, the part where you’ve given up drinking. I’ve actually always been kind of surprised one of you didn’t make me a great aunt when you were in high school. I guess all those boxes of condoms I kept buying did the trick then.”
“Yeah. They did the trick. Not this time though. And, if it helps any, Hope thinks I’m crazy, too, for giving up alcohol. She didn’t ask me to do it, but I think if we’re in this t
ogether it’s the least I can do for her.”
“It sounds like you’re doing that and a whole lot more for her.” Wendy tilted her head and gave me a searching look that had me wanting to find the bathroom myself. I had quite a few memories of her metaphorically kicking my ass. Aunt Wendy had raised four hellraiser boys and knew how to keep us in line. And then she spoke again. “But she’s right. I’m really proud of the man you’ve turned into. I think you’ll make her a wonderful partner and an amazing daddy for your baby.”
My skin felt itchy. I reached up and rubbed at the back of my neck. It all just felt…wrong. Hope’s earlier words came back to me. Amazing. Perfect. Worthy. I was none of those things. I’d betrayed the only mother I could remember with my breakfast with him. The scene in the parking lot. I wasn’t the wonderful man both of these women thought I was. I’d sided with the enemy—however briefly—and I had to come clean. “I uh… There is something that I have to tell you.”
“I’m not expecting a wedding. I think you two kids have enough on your plate. And you’ll know when the moment is right. Believe me, you won’t get any wedding-before-baby grief from me.”
“Thanks, but that’s not what I meant.” I looked away and had to gather my nerve for a minute before I could face her again. Her eyes were gentle and so much more understanding than I deserved. “I’ve met with my dad a few times since he’s been out. Helped him get a job. Apparently. And uh, yeah. I found out what a truly, amazing asshole he actually is. I don’t want anything to do with him now. But uh, yeah. So that’s it. I just wanted you to know.”
Wendy took a deep breath and the air hissed with her exhale. “Is that all?”
“Mostly, I guess. We kinda got into it in the parking lot this afternoon. Threats were made. He called you uppity. I tried to strangle him. Sabrina stopped me. I told him to stay away from me and mine or I’d have a conversation with his parole officer.” I sat back with a groan. “But you should think about looking into a protective order. He’s not exactly rational.”
“I have.” She gave me a sad smile. “They said I need some proof of an ongoing threat or whatever before I could even apply for a temporary order.”
Fast: A Pregnant by the Bad Boy Romance (Burns Brothers Book 2) Page 18
