We’d tried so hard to avoid this.
But fate had other plans.
“I don’t care. I don’t fucking care, Snitch.”
“You won’t leave your pregnant wife for me, Grayson. I know you. And I… I don’t know if I can let that happen. We’ve been trying to fight fate for months, Grayson. At every turn it’s obvious we’re not supposed to be together.”
“I told you, Snitch. Even if it takes the rest of our lives, I’m not letting you go.”
“There’s too much debris between us, Grayson. We’re broken glass and thorns.”
And then, like a burning sign of our infidelity, the lights turned on. The antique room stuttered into clarity.
“Power’s on,” I said, just so I had something else to say.
“Snitch.” Grayson grabbed my arm. “We’re still leaving tonight. I’m going to find Lottie, and I’ll figure things out, and in an hour you’ll be here. Waiting. Promise me.”
I can’t make Grayson choose between me and his wife. I can’t make him choose between which of his children to abandon. What a horrible, impossible decision. All Grayson had ever wanted was to be nothing like his father, and now he would have to decide…me or Lottie?
In the end, Grayson would always lose.
“Fucking promise me!”
“I can’t let you give up everything, Grayson.”
He gripped my shoulders. “Promise me you’ll wait, dammit.”
“I promise,” I said weakly.
He stood up, got dressed, but he didn’t leave. He stared down at me, jaw clenched.
“Do you not trust me to wait?”
He dragged his hands through his hair. “Every time we get close, something snatches it away. I want to run with you. Run out of this fucking place right now.”
“I don’t want our life together to be running and hiding,” I whispered. “I want it to be more. And you could never live with yourself if you abandoned your child.”
I could tell he wanted to say more by the way the muscle in his jaw feathered, by the veins throbbing in his fist.
Yet all he said was, “One hour.”
I pulled on my ripped dress when he left, lost to my own thoughts.
I think we tried so hard not to be the people we feared we might be that we became something even worse. What demons will we summon not to succumb to those we fear live inside us? What darkness will we give in to, what parts will we dirty and tarnish just to keep a little piece pure?
Because of every betrayal I’d experienced after entering the Crowne world…today was the worst. I betrayed myself. I betrayed the promise I made to myself the day West betrayed me. I wanted to be like the people I read about. I want to be someone who doesn’t make mistakes. I wanted to be powerful and empowered.
“Damn, Angel. You didn’t even wait an hour.”
I blinked out of my tears. West was standing in the room, and I don’t know how long he’d been watching me.
“West. How long have you been there?”
“Are you gonna call me a rapist again? Or maybe you wanted to call me Daddy?”
Fifty-Seven
GRAY
* * *
When I got to Lottie, she was awake in the room she’d slept in before we’d started to share my wing, and she’d changed out of her costume into pajamas. She sat up when she saw me.
“I’m asking for a paternity test. Or you could just stop this right now and tell everyone the truth.”
She blinked rapidly, then glared. “I would expect nothing less from my husband and the father of my child.”
“Can you blame me? I don’t remember us having sex, Lottie. Want to remind me when the fuck that happened?”
She clenched her jaw and shot me a glare, and I prepared for an argument. Then suddenly she threw her head in her hands.
And cried.
I shifted, rubbing the sharp pain in my neck as Lottie cried harder.
“You came on my thigh and…” she said through her hands.
“And what, Lottie?”
Her eyes met mine, shiny and shamed, angry.
“I pushed it up inside me.” She swiped away tears. “I haven’t had sex with anyone else. A paternity test will show that.”
I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t fucking blink, could only stare at Lottie as the room caved in on me. The dying wind was suddenly howling again.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I finally managed.
“The girl is supposed to do that, you know? She’s supposed to do that for me, but you hired your mistress.”
I bit my jaw until it ached. “Charlotte.”
She looked away and bit her bottom lip, working the flesh for a good two minutes.
“My mother used to tell me stories of how my father doted on her during her pregnancies. I thought you would start to love me again…I never thought you would divorce me,” she shouted. “What you did, no one does. It’s not fair she gets to have everything. She gets you. She gets a healthy baby. She gets everything, and I did everything I was supposed to do!” she screamed. “It’s not fair!”
Color drained from Lottie’s face with her scream, and her eyes went cross.
“Calm down.”
It came out harsher than I intended, because she flinched.
The air was sticky. Spiny.
“If you don’t calm down, you could lose the baby,” I said, softer.
Her eyes slashed to mine. “Wouldn’t that solve everything?”
I ground my teeth together. “How long have you known?”
“A while.”
“You’ve been dealing with it on your own?”
“I know you don’t love me, Grayson. I was afraid of how you would react.”
I dragged my hands down my face.
Angry.
Threatening.
“If—if I knew…if you told me what you did…I might not have been so…”
Her brow furrowed, and she looked away. “But you would always look miserable.”
Silence wafted.
“Is this why you’ve been so…”
“Insane?” she supplied.
“I was going to say persistent.”
More tears filled her eyes.
I could feel my own lids, hot and burning. Was this fate? No matter how hard you fight, the stage resets itself, forcing you back into your position.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she said, voice hoarse. “I’ve been trying to be someone else for so long. That night, my mother came to me. She told me more than a few things. Like, if I didn’t get a baby from you, I was as good as forgotten.”
I sat beside her and dragged her hands into mine. Trying to apologize for everything I put her through even though I knew there would never be enough words or actions.
“I’m so sorry.” She broke into tears. Deep, heaving tears. So when she spoke, I could barely hear above the sobbing. “I-I know you don’t love me. I know you won’t ever love me. I know what I’ve done is unforgivable. I started picturing myself. A laughingstock among our peers. Poor Lottie, must be something defective. You wouldn’t love me, so I thought I could become her.”
“I haven’t been good to you, Lottie. I’ve failed you. I won’t fail our baby.”
She looked up, blinking through her watery eyes. “So you’ll abandon her?”
“No,” I said instantly.
Fuck.
Shit.
Fuck.
Snitch was waiting for me, to run away, to leave.
I dragged my hands through my hair. She exhaled and dropped her shoulders. I couldn’t leave Snitch. I wouldn’t.
I stood up.
“Are you going to her?” she asked.
“I have to.”
Lottie nodded, fisting the sheets. “Can I stay here, in my half of the wing until I’m cleared to travel? I won’t bother you. It will be like before, like I’m not even here.”
“You can stay here as long as you need.”
She
worked the sheets harder between her fingers. “I lied, I can’t take that back, but…I do love you, and I’ll always be there for you, Grayson. Always.”
“Don’t you want your own happiness, Lottie? I want that for you. I want you to have a man who deserves you. I’m not him.”
“I don’t get that,” she mumbled. “Fate made that perfectly clear.”
“You said I wasn’t your first. There must be someone else out there.”
Her eyes clouded.
“Are you hoping I’ll admit I cheated on you?” she said darkly. “I’m sorry, but neither of us are that lucky.”
“I’m hoping I can help both of us.”
“He’s worse than you, Grayson. To him I’m only ever going to be Charlie, an annoying little girl…a mistake. A shame he wishes he could erase. A secret that would ruin him.”
Charlie?
“I won’t fight you on the divorce. I never thought I’d be pregnant and divorced, but anything is better than this.” She lifted her eyes, meeting mine. “But I know I’m not the only one who grew up with the stories they masked as fairy tales. We’re kings and queens, and kings don’t divorce queens. Not without war. Not without death,” she rasped. “Does she know how much you’re giving up?”
Fifty-Eight
STORY
* * *
“Well, if that was really your plan, you probably should have fucked me a few months ago, Angel. Made this a little bit more believable.”
I stared at him. “How long have you known?”
“Pretty much as long as we’ve been married. You’re shit at keeping secrets.”
I fell back against the wall. West gave me a sad, pitying look as he came to stand in front of me.
Behind him the night grew darker.
“Let me tell you what happens next. We get divorced. You won’t ask me for shit. You won’t take anything. If you go to the press with your story, or the cops, or who the fuck ever, no one will believe you. They might have before. What with…the way people are now, always canceling shit on Twitter.” He made an annoyed face. “But now? You were my wife. Why would you have married your rapist? And you took all those loving photos with me. Hell, you just fucked me.” He held up his phone and pressed play on a video.
I felt ill.
So ill.
“And you got pregnant.” He put his phone away and shook his head, smiling. “You don’t look very good right now, Story.”
I think I’m going to throw up. “Why?” was all I could manage.
“Did you think I was just going to let you get away with it?”
“Get away with it?” I balked. “With what?”
“You called me a fucking a rapist,” he yelled. “I’m about to take over my father’s company. I can’t have you trying to hashtag me and ruin that.”
The snow slammed against the window.
Always a cut away from bleeding out.
This is what my mother meant after all. I was bled out; there was nothing left of me to take. There was always a part of me that thought West must have some angle. I just couldn’t figure it out. It was staring me in the face.
It all made sense now, all those little things that never added up. Why West was so gung ho for me, why he took me to the court house instead of insisting on some giant wedding as those in his position always had, why he never faced any consequences.
They were all steps leading to this cliff.
It was just like the first time he stole into my heart. Every nice action, every sweet moment, was because he had something to prove, something to gain.
And just like the first time, I really didn’t believe that was the only reason.
“All of this?” I asked. “All the things you did and said, from the very beginning, were just to get back at me? Did you ever once love me?”
A look flickered across his features.
He thumbed my chin. “Do you care?”
Yes. I wanted to know if there was more to West du Lac than darkness. But I wasn’t going to let him know.
“You’re evil.”
He laughed. “I haven’t done shit Grayson wouldn’t do. You’re fucking my sister’s husband. What do they say about glass houses?”
I mashed my lips, biting them until I tasted blood.
Because it didn’t matter. He was right.
“I’m a shitty person,” I said roughly, quietly. “But so are you. I’ll divorce you. I’ll stay quiet. You’ll never see me again.”
And I could forget all those times I wondered if there was more to West du Lac.
He laughed. “I’m not done with you, Angel.” He pushed the hair behind my ear, tangling it in his fist and drawing my face closer. “I’m taking you as my mistress, and that baby will be mine in name. No one will ever know about you and Grayson Crowne, not officially, nothing past unsubstantiated rumors.”
What?
Why would he want that?
“Why do you need my fucking child? Why do you need me?”
“I think you’re starting to feel for me, Angel. We just need time.”
I could only speak in stuttering breaths. “Y-you don’t love me. If you loved me, you would remain married to me, not divorce me and make me your fucking mistress. You wouldn’t threaten me.”
“Like Grayson married you? You should know better by now, Angel. There’s only one reason I was ever allowed to marry you.”
I looked away as hot oil burned through my veins.
“We can live happily ever after, just not as man and wife.”
That was what finally did it.
Why I didn’t just slap him but punched him in the nose.
He wiped the blood off, then looked at his hand like he’d accidentally run into a branch.
“Are you done?”
I spat in his face. “I’m worth more. You could lock me in a tower with you for a thousand years and I’d still hate your guts.”
But something in my chest worried at my words.
It had taken only a couple of months for me to fall for his mind games.
His eyes flashed dark at my words, his smile gone. “But you’d belong to me, Angel. You’re mine. For as long as I want to keep you.”
I’m not his.
My heart doesn’t even belong to me anymore.
Right?
“Grayson will never let you take his child, and I won’t either,” I gritted. “I’ll never be your fucking mistress, West. There’s nothing you can threaten me with. You could tell the entire world I’m a whore, and I still wouldn’t be your mistress.”
“You need me.”
I laughed, but when his grip tightened, my gut dropped.
“The du Lacs don’t care about bastards,” he said. “No one will think twice if you have mine.”
“So are you supposed to be my knight in shining armor now?” I hissed.
He grinned, but it was mean. “Call me whatever the fuck you want. I’m your only shot at keeping you and that bastard in your belly alive, Angel.”
Fear drenched me like acid.
Not for me, for the baby.
I shoved West off, standing up and putting distance between us. I trusted Grayson when he said he would take care of us. He’d already done so much for us; he’d always protected us.
He would look after us.
He would free us.
West had done nothing but trap me.
“No one is on your side, Angel,” he said softly. “I’ve never seen the du Lacs and Crownes work together so well. We spent years working on that marriage. No amount of money could stop their bickering…but when you entered the scene? A decades-old rivalry vanished in an instant. Imagine what they’ll do when they find out you’re pregnant. Be my mistress and that all changes. You don’t have to fight anymore.”
I felt like I was going to be sick. “I’m not falling for your tricks anymore, West.”
I was nearly out of the hallway when West’s voice drifted back. “What about Grayson? Would you do it for him? I thoug
ht you loved him.”
I paused. “What?”
It was almost exactly what Lottie had said.
“How do you think he’s getting you both out of this?”
“He forced his grandfather’s hand,” I said, but my heart was a knot.
West laughed. “How did he do that, Angel?”
Silence ticked on.
“It’s so romantic,” West said. “He gave up everything for you. He blew up his entire fucking world right in my inbox. Pretty good early Christmas present.”
He held up his phone for me to see, but I didn’t understand. It looked like some kind of contract—that much I understood. I was familiarized with it from Grayson.
“What is this?”
“Uh, the short version?” West put his phone back. “While you run into the sunset, his family crumbles to ashes, and I’ll take his kingdom.”
My heart bottomed out.
I’ll move the earth for you, Story. I’ll make the sky fall.
His family would be on the street.
“Are you going to make him choose between which child to abandon? He can’t have both, Angel. Not in this world. If he runs away with you, my family will make sure he never sees Lottie again.”
You’re either for this family, or you're against it.
Abigail’s words to me on Thanksgiving spun in my head, mocking. This was always the end. Even she couldn’t avoid it.
I could feel it, the chains of fate locking into place.
“You can run off with him. Go live somewhere. Forget about Lottie and her unborn child, about the family you just destroyed.” His lips curved as he watched me imagine this future.
All Grayson Crowne had ever wanted was to be a good man, a good person for his family.
I swallowed. “Or?”
“Or we leave Crowne Point tomorrow.”
Fifty-Nine
GRAY
* * *
A rock lifted from my chest when I found Story waiting for me. A dark part of me thought she’d be gone, that fate would have gotten to us.
I ran to her and grabbed her hand, refusing to waste another minute.
Forbidden Fate Page 34
