by Jordan Bates
“Everything.”
“Talk to me.” He tried jiggling the handle. “What do you need?”
He was asking me what I needed. I looked up at the ceiling, thinking about Adam. All he had ever wanted was for me to cater to his needs, but the man standing on the other side of this door was asking me about my needs. I felt a lone tear move down my cheek.
“I don’t need anything, Max.” It was true. I didn’t need anything. “I just don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Date.” I expected him to say something, but no. Where would Max even take me on a date to? A fancy restaurant or a museum? Those would be good for him, but I don’t know about me though. I was a pizza and a movie type of girl. I’d even love to go to a bookstore. All things that Adam never wanted to do. On our date nights we stayed at home, binge-watched his favorite TV shows, I cooked him dinner, and then we went to bed. Even when we went out, he got to choose where we went, what movie we saw. I truly hadn’t had any say in anything when it came to Adam.
“I’m going to give you ten minutes to finish getting dressed, and then I’m coming back in here and helping you.” I pounded my head against the door, sending back the vibration that he had done earlier. Why couldn’t he just leave? “And you’re not the only one who’s scared about tonight.”
Max, scared? I didn’t believe it, but I heard him sigh and jiggle the handle one more time before he exited my room.
I stayed in the bathroom for what only felt like a few more minutes before going back out to my room. Why would Max be scared about tonight? Wasn’t he the type of man that could always get the girl? Was this supposed to be some big date for him? If it was, that just made me more nervous. The questions just kept racking through my brain while I took another look into my closet. I tried on a few dresses, hating them both. I figured I had a few more minutes before his ten minutes were up, but as I was about to put on another dress, an arm came around my stomach.
“Max!” I tried to pull away, but he held me tight.
“I said ten minutes.” He breathed the words against my neck, which resulted in me leaning against him and sinking into his grasp. My knees felt weak when he touched me, sending my emotions into overdrive. His arm around my waist tightened, and the other was caressing my arm. It took me a second to realize what I was wearing while we were standing there. I pushed Max away quickly.
“You could at least give me some space when I’m practically naked.” We were face to face now, and I knew if I looked down, he would, too. It didn’t matter though. I already knew he had seen my grey polka-dot hipsters and matching bra.
I pushed a little, but he didn’t let me go too far. Both hands were on my waist, and his eyes were now scanning my body. I watched them stop intermittently, seeing the dilation with each passing movement. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks. “Stop looking at me like that and let me get dressed.”
He let go of me without a word and started to walk backwards to the door. He always liked to keep eye contact with me, like he thought I would disappear. I almost turned back towards my closet when I saw him stop just at the door. He stood there staring, his hands in fists at his side. His jaw was clenched, fists balled at his side, like he was trying to restrain himself. The way his legs twitched, I didn’t know how much restraint he had left.
“I can’t leave without doing this.” He was already walking towards me, but it seemed more of a sprint.
“Wha—” I couldn’t get my question out to him before his lips were crashing against mine. I didn’t stop to think; I just reacted. My arms naturally went up around his neck, bringing him closer to me. One of his hands was in my hair, steadying my lips against his, and the other at the center of my back, bringing my core closer to him.
His lips tasted sweet like honey, which wasn’t something I expected, but it made me want to kiss him more. We both kept ushering the kiss along until I had to pull away in order to breathe. His lips automatically went to my neck, moving up to my jawline and back down to my throat. I pulled his lips away and held his face in my hands. It was the first time I was getting a good look at his face. There were a few light scars adorning his jaw and a few grey hairs along the side by his ears.
I kissed his lips, but this time neither one of us rushed it. He was tender in his kiss and nipped my bottom lip occasionally. While his hand on my lower back rubbed circles into my skin, his other was moving from behind my head and down to my shoulders, and soon rested against my bra strap. The soft hand quickly turned into a fist. His whole body stilled against mine and he pulled away. He turned away and readjusted himself.
“Get dressed and meet me downstairs whenever you’re ready.” He didn’t look back before he left the room. I just stood there with my fingertips on my lips as I heard the front door slam shut. They were still tingling.
“What the hell was that about?” Lilly’s question was asked before she even got into the room fully. She didn’t wait to ask more questions. “Did he kiss you?”
I couldn’t formulate words right now, so I just stood there and nodded my head.
“Well, no wonder. You look hot in just your underwear and bra.” My look towards her was scathing. She wasn’t helping the situation, and I didn’t fully comprehend what had just happened. Clearly, he wanted to kiss me, but he also wanted to respect me by not going too far. My heart thumped a little harder knowing that I had just figured out that situation perfectly. From what I had heard from Lilly, I knew that Max was someone who could get any woman he wanted, and maybe that was part of why I was so scared tonight. But with what had just happened, maybe he was trying to change from what he normally did. For me.
Lilly pulled out a black dress that I had never worn. It was hidden in the back on my closet. The pink and yellow flowers dotted on it matched well against my pale skin, and she found a perfect pair of black flats to go with it. I twirled in front of the mirror one last time. I loved the way this dress hugged my curves, and it even had slits along the shoulders. I went to grab my purse, but Lilly slapped my hand and shoved me towards the door. She spanked my ass after she handed me my keys and phone. The door slammed in my face and I couldn’t have been more confused.
Max was on the phone when I finally got downstairs, leaning against a black town car. He hung up without saying goodbye right when he saw me, and opened the car door. We both scooted in, but left ample space between us. We were off in second and the tension in the air was strong. Neither one of us had said a word yet, but his hand slowly moved closer to me the farther we drove. Max’s driver pulled up to a park. The sign read, Atlanta Botanical Garden. I gushed, thinking that we were going into the garden. Now this was my kind of place. Before Max helped me out of the car, he reached for a bag that I hadn’t seen before. I looked at him warily as he still hadn’t spoken to me, but when I opened the bag, my gasp filled the car.
In it was my e-reader, a notebook, my laptop, and my camera. I looked up at Max, who had a smile on his face, his hand outstretched toward me. I let him lead me toward the gardens, not paying attention to what was around me, just the man beside me. He had to have had Lilly help get this bag together, that’s why he had texted her and not me.
We stopped at a small alcove. When I finally looked away from Max, I was taken aback by the beautiful scenery in front of me. Trees lined the paved ground in front of us, and a white garden swing sat in the middle. I couldn’t hear anything but the birds chirping around us. There was a small white fence lining the back of the swing, and a few plants were plotted around, but in all, it was ours. I walked to the swing, setting my bag down beside me, and sat down, rocking back and forth. My head hit the back of the swing and I took it all in. The smells, the sounds, the air, everything seemed so perfect at this moment.
The swing dipped a little beside me.
“What is this?” I was looking Max in the eye now. The swing swayed us gently.
“This is normally used for receptions, but I made sure the area was clear
for today.” He said it with confidence, as if it was supposed to mean something more. I looked away from him and back towards the sky. It was getting late, and the sky was turning from a bright blue to an orange-purple color. He pulled up my bag and handed me my laptop, like he knew.
“You said before that you did content edits, and I’ve heard you talk about writing to Lilly. I want to see you in action.” My hands started to shake as I took the computer. He wanted to see me write? This man was surprising me at every damn turn. “I thought this would be the perfect place for it.”
“This is beyond amazing, Max.” I opened the laptop, pulling open my last document, a story I had been working on for years but just couldn’t quite get right. I looked around, then back at Max, and it hit me. The words started to flow and I couldn’t stop them. How had I not seen it before? He was the perfect inspiration for my main character, and this date was exactly what romance stories were made of. The only thing that snapped me out of my reverie was a loud chirping next to me. A robin landed on one of the bushes—so close to us I was stunned. I moved the computer over to Max’s lap and grabbed my camera to snap a photo. It was when I captured it that I realized it was almost completely dark outside and I wouldn’t be able to take the picture without the flash on.
I turned back towards Max.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t know we had been here this long!” I moved closer to pack my things away, trying to think of more words for being the worst date ever. But instead of him being mad or upset, he only laughed. “What’s funny?”
“You.” He took my computer and packed it up, grabbed the bag, and then took my hand. I was still holding my camera. We stood there, surrounded again by the quiet abyss of the gardens. He checked his watch. “One more minute.”
I waited with bated breath. I counted down the seconds as I watched the little hand tick slowly on his watch. The second the clock struck seven, light surrounded us. I turned around to see small twinkling lights adorn the trees and bushes. It seemed almost like a fairy tale, but I didn’t know if I wanted to be the princess just yet. I knew looking back at Max, though, that he was definitely the prince.
“These lights here are no comparison to you when I watched you write tonight.” He moved closer to me, my bag in one hand and the other resting against my neck. He used his thumb to tilt my head up. “You light up the darkest parts of my heart.”
I didn’t have words to say to him. What could you say to a man who basically just laid his heart out on the line for you? He broke the trance first, and I was thankful, but my heart sank when I saw his smile fade. I was bringing him happiness and sadness at the same time. I was sabotaging everything that we were trying to work on. This man was on a completely different level than I was, and I just didn’t know if I could ever live up to not just his expectations, but what everyone around us would see and think. I was the kind of girl to stay out of the spotlight, but that was definitely not Max.
“We should start heading out to dinner. Our reservation is at eight.” We started to head back towards the front of the park, but I knew I had forgotten the one thing I needed in order to remember this night always. I took the chance to look at Max once more, and then I ran. Not away, but back to the swing. I let the lights engulf me. I held up my camera, clicking it on. I tried to take as many pictures as I could. Of the swing, of the lights, of the trees, and even the robin that was still perched in the area, but on a different bush now.
Thinking back to everything that had happened with Max, all I could focus on were his dominant and commanding ways. He went from being a pain in my ass, to a friend, a trusted colleague even, and now to something I wasn’t even sure I wanted. The man who was here tonight was not one of Max’s personalities that I was ready for. He was not one I was ever expecting to have the pleasure of meeting, but as I smiled down at my camera, looking back through my pictures, I knew that little pitter-patter of my heart was telling me to give in. But I couldn’t. Not yet.
I headed back the way we came in, alone this time, but that didn’t mean Max wasn’t waiting there for me, in the exact spot I had run from. He held a hand out to me, and we left the garden together, but I was pretty sure I had left a little piece of my heart behind with it. My fingers slipped between his, and he helped me inside the town car to head to dinner.
Maybe this date really wasn’t such a bad thing after all, but what would Max want after this? What would he want later? I could feel the heat rise between my legs. I knew what I wanted, but the sensible part of me was wondering if it was a good idea or not. Max had made it a point to say multiple times that he would make me his, even if it wasn’t right now. Did I want to be anyone’s?
“What are you thinking about?” We were driving towards the restaurant now.
“Nothing.” I put on my best smile and looked out the window. When the car stopped, though, I realized we weren’t pulling up to a restaurant but to a house. A gorgeous Victorian house, with brick walls and bright white trim. I almost lost it when my eyes landed on the balcony. “Where are we?”
“Just come with me.”
I followed him all the way to the front door. He hadn’t said another word or touched me, not even to hold my hand. When I stepped into the house and Max closed the door behind him, I could feel the electricity between us spark to life. We walked into the living room. Soft music was playing, and there was an array of sushi on the coffee table. He brought dinner to us instead of going to the restaurant. “I thought after you ran at the park we could just eat here, since it’s more neutral ground, not so public.”
I looked around, seeing photos of Max, a few of him with some other women. They had to be family, they had to be. I tried not to let the jealousy surge through me as I moved my attention back to him. This must be the summer house that Max had mentioned before. I didn’t see any sign of someone having been here in a while. I didn’t expect it to be this extravagant.
“I don’t see how your house is neutral ground for anyone but you.” I laughed it off as I headed towards the couch. “Why is your summer house so close to the city anyway? Isn’t it supposed to be farther away?”
I stopped just before sitting and turned back to look at Max. I couldn’t read his face, but I knew he was thinking hard.
“I call it my summer house, but it’s more than that.” Max’s hand caught mine and turned me around. It was the first contact we had since we stepped into the house, and the spark wasn’t just figurative this time. A shock went through my fingers and I pulled back. I looked from my hand to Max, and the fire that was between us could be seen clear as day in his eyes. “It’s the house I bought years ago. The house I bought because I thought I would put a family in it one day.”
I could feel my eyes bugging out of me as I stared at Max. He was equally as shocked by the words that came from his mouth. I don’t think either of us were ready for these kinds of confessions tonight. He took a step closer to me.
“I need to do this at least once more.” Max didn’t kiss me right away. He took a big enough step that we were now almost touching but not quite there yet. His lips hovered just above mine as he moved closer to me, and I stepped back, leading us backwards to the couch. He laid his hand on my back, helping me down onto the cushions, with himself between my legs. His lips were on mine only seconds after we became comfortable. My hands were constricted between us, resting against his chest, so it was Max who had all the control. He went soft and then fast, moving his lips down to my neck before bringing them back to my mouth.
I could feel him harden between my thighs and rub up against me a little more. I teased back with a little push, and a groan escaped his mouth. He stilled, then straightened himself at the other end of the couch. He didn’t bother to pull me up with him, so I fixed myself up on my own.
“Would you like me to put a movie on?” He was already at the Blu-ray player, looking through the movies.
“Choose whatever you would like.” The tension in the air was building between us again.
It seemed that every time we kissed it was going to be a problem. He clearly didn’t want it to go too far, but then why had he kept me along if he didn’t feel what I felt? I was still craving his touch, even though he was only a few feet away. The connection I had with this man scared me, especially with it only being a month since Adam left me, but was that too soon to move on? Even with Adam, he had waited a year before leaving me. I needed more time to work out what exactly Max and I were moving towards by going on this date. As much as I had thought about it over and over again that Max could break me, it was my first time realizing that I could, in fact, break him, and that didn’t sit well with me.
He popped in an action movie and came back to the couch. We were on opposite sides now, and I served myself some dinner as we sat and watched the movie in silence. I looked over at him periodically, and it seemed every time I did, I caught him staring at me. This went on until the movie ended. When the last credit rolled, he moved to put the leftover food away. I didn’t want to sit in the living room alone, so I followed the sound of slamming doors to the kitchen.
“Fuck!” The word came out as a shout when I rounded the corner and watched Max slam his fist into the counter. He hadn’t seen me walk up yet. I watched as he laid half his body against the top of the counter and knocked his head against it.
“What are you doing?”
Max’s body shot up straight and the broken man I had just seen turned back into the confident Max I knew, the one I had met the first day of work. I liked seeing Max uninhibited, but there was also something in his confidence that made my knees weak.
“Do you want me to take you home?” His question confused me, because I didn’t want to go, but I also didn’t know what was happening here between us anymore. For the past two months, all Max did was pursue me, and now that he was able to—I was even allowing him to—he wouldn’t. I knew I had said to take it slow, but that didn’t mean to start something and not finish it.
