by S. J. West
I force myself to turn my head to look at Jules, who is still sitting beside me. In the visions of the future Lucas showed me, I saw her being the mother to my son that I can never be. They’ll share moments of laughter and even tears. She’ll be the one person in his world that he’ll feel like he can always rely on. I suppose my son could have selected a worse mother. At least he didn’t choose Anna.
“My son has chosen you to be his mother,” I tell Jules, earning me a surprised look from her. “Don’t treat him like a replacement for the one you lost. Treat him like the gift that he is.”
“Why me?” she asks in shock.
“I’ve seen his future and I’ve seen the mother you will be to him. He’ll love you with all of his heart,” I sob, knowing I’ll never be able to see him look at me like he will Jules. “And I need for you to promise me that you’ll cherish his love for you because that’s something I’ll never be given the opportunity to do. Give me your word that you’ll never take his love for you for granted.”
Jules nods. “I promise you I won’t, and I’ll make sure he knows who his mother is and what she gave up for him.”
“No,” I say, letting go of even that small portion of my son’s life. “Promise me you won’t tell him about me. Make him believe that he’s your son, Jules. I don’t want him to ever feel like he was abandoned by his parents.” I look over at Ethan because I know he and Jules will be the ones to raise my son. “And you need to be the father Cade would have been to him, Ethan. Show him how to protect himself because he’ll get picked on because he’s different. Never let him feel ashamed of who and what he is. Can you promise me that you’ll do that?”
Ethan nods. “Yes. I promise I will, Helena.”
“Then use your sword and help me bring my son into the world,” I tell him before my own selfishness convinces me to change my mind.
Cade positions himself beside me on the bed so we can watch the birth of our son together.
The sword Ethan has been carrying around to try to kill me with bursts into blue flames. As delicately as Anna did, he uses the tip of the sword to make an incision on the underside of my belly. Desmond immediately reaches inside my womb. I feel a slight tug and pull as he maneuvers my son’s head out first. I hear those around us gasp in surprise when they see what it is that makes my son unique in the universe.
As Desmond pulls the rest of his body out, a pair of white wings glisten on his back in the light of the room. I can tell they’re broken by the way they lay awkwardly against his sides. Cade stands from his position on the bed and goes to our son, taking him out of Desmond’s hands and cradling him in his arms. A soft golden glow surrounds them as I watch, and I feel as if I’m an observer to a miracle. Two beautiful things happen all at once. I hear my son’s first cry as he fills his lungs with the universe, and I watch him spread his wings as he opens his eyes and looks into his father’s face for the very first time.
“Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?” Desmond asks Cade.
“Give us a moment first,” he tells Desmond, holding our son up for me to see. “Look at how beautiful he is, Helena. Look at what you made.”
All I want to do is reach out and touch my son, but I know what is normally a small act for everyone else is an impossible one for me. I would go mad from torment and end up hating myself for an eternity if I destroyed the only physical proof of Cade’s love for me. I refuse to destroy him like I obliterated his father’s earthly form.
“Cut the cord,” I say, knowing that once the final physical link we share is severed, I will be doomed to live in my domain alone for quite some time.
Cade looks down at our son and kisses him on the forehead.
He looks between Ethan and Jules before saying, “Could the two of you come over here please?”
Jules leaves my side and joins Ethan in front of Cade. Ethan places his hand on Jules’ left shoulder as Cade hands her our son. I watch with envy as she’s able to hold him in the safety of her arms, knowing that I will never be able to do something so simple.
“He’s your son now,” Cade tells them both. “Love him as much as his mother and I do, and he will love you just as fiercely in return. If he needs my help as his guardian, I will come back, but I hope he never requires the only type of help I can provide.”
I know why Cade just said what he did. If our son needs his help, that will mean that he has died and has to be brought back by the breath of life. It makes me wonder why God believes my son requires a guardian angel in the first place. As far as I know, only the descendants from Caylin and Aiden’s line were granted such protection. What is it that God wants my son to do for Him in the future? If I know Him, He has a plan of some sort, and it obviously includes my child in some way.
“I can promise you both that he will always feel loved,” Jules says as she looks between me and Cade.
“No more drinking,” I order her sternly. “You’re a horrible drunk, and I won’t have my son being raised by a lush.”
Jules lets out an embarrassed laugh. “I promise. No more drinking. You have nothing to worry about where I’m concerned. I have too much to live for now.”
“And you have to raise him someplace where no one can tell him the truth of his origins,” I say.
Jules nods in total understanding.
Cade walks back over to the side of the bed, sits down beside me, and takes my hand once again.
“Cut the cord,” he tells Ethan.
“Wait!” I say, frightened that this might be the last time I see both my son and Cade again. “Give me one last kiss before you have to leave me again.”
Cade smiles and squeezes my hand. “I need for you to put a little trust in me right now, Helena.” He looks over at Ethan and says again, “Cut the cord.”
I know when the cord is severed by Ethan’s blade because I find myself on my bed inside my own room in Hell, but I’m not alone.
“How are you still with me?” I ask Cade, clasping his hand even tighter just to make sure he’s real.
“Did you honestly think my father would make me leave you now when you need me the most?” he asks.
I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing him in close, but I wince in agony because the cut on my abdomen is still open.
“Lie back,” Cade orders me, having sensed my reaction to the pain. “I can mend the wound.”
“I don’t understand why it’s not healing on its own,” I say, dumbfounded. “I’m in my domain now. It should have healed as soon as I returned.”
“Some wounds take longer to heal,” he tells me, placing his hands on the laceration. I see a golden glow emanate from his hands, just like when he healed our son’s wings. “There you go. All better.”
Cade returns and lies down beside me to bring me into his arms. I soak in his warmth and inhale his scent, knowing this dream can’t last forever.
“How long will He let you stay with me?” I ask.
“Until it’s time for me to go,” Cade replies cryptically.
“Will this be the last time I ever see you?” I have to know.
“No. My father told me that I would see you two more times before the end.”
“Before the end of what?”
“Before the end of everything, I suppose. All things must have a beginning and an end. He must believe we’re coming close to the end of something important.”
“Or it could take a millennium or two to get there.” I sigh.
“However long it takes, I know I’ll be given the chance to see you at least two more times,” Cade says, holding me close. “And I’ll take those two times gladly. It’s more than most people get to have.”
“Yes, it is,” I agree, just before I let the weight of everything that’s happened finally sink into my soul. I begin to sob uncontrollably over the loss of my son and the brighter future I thought I would be able to have with him in my life. After his birth, I believed I would be granted at least one person in the world who could learn to love me just
as I am, but God must deem me unworthy of such a privilege.
As I continue to cry and attempt to unburden my heart of its loss, Cade hugs me even tighter to him, as if he never plans to let me go, even though we both know he can’t stay with me forever. I may be powerful, but God is still stronger.
I don’t know what God is up to, but I feel sure He has an ulterior motive for allowing Cade to stay with me. Perhaps He knew how upset I would be after being sent back to my domain permanently without my son. This could be His way of ensuring my wrath stays contained for a little while. I can’t say for sure. All I do know is that this is one of the happiest and saddest days of my life. I try to keep my thoughts centered on Cade, but an image of my son’s beautiful face keeps intruding into my thoughts. I’m consoled by the fact that I know Jules will be a good mother to him. I’ve already seen it. I just wish I could be there to watch him grow into the man I only got a glimpse of.
Perhaps one day, I’ll be able to meet my son in person. As his father continues to hold me in his arms, I feel like I have proof that miracles truly can happen, even for a creature like me.
CHAPTER 20
(Jules’ Point of View)
As I look down at the baby whose health and happiness were entrusted to me and feel Ethan wrap his arm around the small of my waist, a sense of finally finding my place in the universe fills my soul, causing my heart to ache, but in a good way.
“Why do you think he was born with wings?” I ask Ethan, gently stroking one wing with my free hand and finding its feathers softer than velvet against the tips of my fingers.
“I don’t know,” he replies, sounding as mystified as me over the small miracle cradled in my arms. Ethan looks at Desmond and says, “Do you have any idea why, Desmond?”
“I have a theory, but that’s about all it is at the moment,” he tells us with a small shrug. “I don’t believe there’s any way for me to actually prove it.”
“Tell us what your theory is,” Anna urges, obviously as intrigued to hear the answer as we are.
“Well,” Desmond begins thoughtfully, “Helena has always had the power to make all manner of creatures in Hell. Considering she made her own body and basically her own genetic material, my theory is that she was able to manipulate the baby’s genetic code into what she imagined her and Cade’s child should look like. I don’t even think she was aware that she was doing it, because when she visited me and we looked at him with a prenatal hologram device, she seemed as surprised as I was by his wings.”
“He’s so gorgeous,” Anna croons, unable to stop herself from smiling at the baby in my arms.
“What are the two of you going to name him?” my mom asks, joining our little group as we all stare in awe of Cade and Helena’s child.
“I understand why she doesn’t want him to know who his real parents are,” I say, “but I think he should have something of her and Cade in his name.” I pause for a moment before I settle on the perfect one. “I think we should call him Calen, Cal for short.”
“Cal,” Anna says, trying the name out. “I like that. Will it be Calen Grace or Calen Knight, though?”
“I think Calen Grace Knight has a nice ring to it,” I reply, giving Ethan a sideways glance to see his reaction to the combination of our last names.
His response is a smile, so I take that as a good sign that he heartily approves.
As Cal snuggles in closer against my breasts and falls asleep, I begin to wonder about Helena’s other request.
“But where are we going to raise him?” I ask the group. “Helena wants us to take him to a place where no one can tell him about his true origins. Does a place like that even exist in the universe?”
“I have a suggestion,” Anna says, looking warily at me as if she’s not sure how I will respond to her proposal. “I actually spoke with Ethan about my idea before the party, but he said he wanted to wait and think it through first. Ethan,” she says, looking at him, “my suggestion seems like a fortuitous one considering the current circumstances. It might be the safest place for all of you to go.”
“Go where?” I ask, looking between Ethan and Anna.
“Laed-i,” Ethan tells me. “Apparently the people there want me to rule them since I killed Manas, at least that’s what Zane reported back to us. But I know you hated it there …”
“I just disliked the pompous aristocrats who were in the palace,” I correct him. “If the regular people there are anything like Verati, I think we would be happy on Laed-i. Besides,” I look over at my mom, “didn’t you tell me that none of the rebellion angels were ever sent to that planet?”
“Yes, that’s true,” she replies, looking thoughtful. “And because of that, it might be one of the most secure planets for you to raise Cal on. If we can keep the rebellion angels ignorant of his whereabouts, he’ll be a lot safer. I would hate to know what Hale would do to Helena’s baby if he found him. I’m sure he would try to blackmail her in some way, and I think we can all agree that scenario would not play out well for any of us.”
“Agreed,” we all unintentionally say in unison.
“So what do you think, Cal?” I ask him. “Does Laed-i sound like a good place to make our home?”
Cal smiles in his sleep. I’m sure he didn’t understand a word I said. It was probably just the soft timbre of my voice that caused him to smile. Whatever the reason, I know now that he has officially captured my heart.
“Would you all mind excusing us for a moment?” Ethan says like a question when it’s really more of a statement. “I would like to speak with Jules alone.”
“I need to perform a thorough examination on Cal today,” Desmond tells us. “Do you plan to come back here afterwards?”
“Let’s meet up at Zane’s house on Laed-i,” Ethan replies. “I promise we’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Without waiting to see if anyone else has something to say or has a request to make, Ethan phases Cal and me to the planet with the magenta ocean. As we stand inside the white gazebo together, I naturally lean back into Ethan with Cal still slumbering comfortably in my arms. Ethan kisses the top of my head and hugs me close.
“I just thought we could use a few minutes alone,” he tells me. “I don’t think either of us were planning to become parents on our third date.”
I have to smile at that. “No. Definitely not, but look at him, Ethan. He’s absolute perfection.”
“And he’s ours,” Ethan says proudly. “Cade talked to me before he brought me to your cabin. When he told me what his intentions were—that he wanted you and me to become his son’s parents—I couldn’t believe our luck. I knew how much you wanted to have children, and this little one was like an unexpected gift for us.”
“Tomorrow is my birthday,” I tell Ethan. “And I don’t think I could have ever asked for a better gift.”
“We’ll need to move to Laed-i right away,” he tells me. “It will be safer for Cal if we keep him off of either of our home worlds.”
“Where will we live there?”
“I know one of Manas’ castles is on the mainland, not too far away from where Zane and Verati live. If you want, we can make it our home.”
“Well, I hate to tell you, King Ethan of Laed-i, but you still have to court me if you expect me to marry you one day,” I state firmly. “But I’m okay with us living together under the same roof for the time being. We just have to have separate quarters.”
I think we both know exactly where our relationship is headed, but even knowing that, I don’t want to rush things with Ethan. I want to take all the little steps in between with him and enjoy those moments to the fullest. I never really dated. Timothy and I were just always together. So getting married was simply a natural progression of our relationship. Now, I have a man who seems to want to make me happy, and we’ve been given the most unique and precious child in all existence to love and protect.
“I fully intend to court you, Jules Grace,” Ethan promises, dropping his hands away from me so
he can turn to stand directly in front of me and Cal. “Not only do I plan to court you, but I also plan to marry you, make you my queen on Laed-i, and raise our son in a happy home just like Anna and Malcolm are doing for their children. I pledge to make our life together one that you will never regret living, and that our son will feel lucky to be a part of. The only family I’ve ever had are my brothers, but now I want to share the rest of my life with you and Cal. The two of you are my world now, and I want you to know that there is nothing that you can ask of me that I won’t do.”
“Then kiss me, Ethan Knight,” I say, unable to suppress a happy smile after hearing his words, “and let our first kiss mark the beginning of our life as a family.”
Ethan grins before leaning down to kiss Cal on the forehead first.
“I know I can never fill Cade’s shoes, and I would never try to replace him,” he whispers to Cal. “But I want you to know that I love you and will take care of you and your mother until the day I die. The two of you are my everything, and that will never change no matter what the future throws at us.”
Ethan lifts his head and raises his right hand to caress the side of my face.
“I’ve never considered myself a lucky man, but in the last few days, I’ve met my soul mate, earned the right to rule a world that desperately needs a strong leader, and been given the unexpected gift of a beautiful son. If those aren’t sure signs that my luck is changing, I don’t know what is, Jules. And now, I get to kiss the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen and possibly share my life with her, if she’ll have me.”
“Hm,” I say with my lips pursed, like I’m considering his request thoughtfully. “I just don’t know. It really all depends on how this first kiss goes, so you better make it a good one.”
Ethan’s smile broadens, and I know he’s beginning to understand my sense of humor.
“It’ll be so good you’ll never want me to stop,” he murmurs with the promise of love and happiness dancing in his eyes as he comes as close to me as he can without crowding Cal.
