by C. A. Harms
I knew words would fail me if I attempted to speak, so I only nodded. This sweet girl was tearing up my insides,
“You love him, don’t you?” she asked.
We both stared at one another in silence. Unsure of how much time had truly passed, I finally nodded.
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to bring back the smile you gave him,” Olivia said. “I love my dad so much, and he is hurting now. Please help me fix his pain.”
She was without a doubt the most amazing person I had ever met.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ryan
I had just pulled up at the ranch when my phone chirped with an incoming message.
Olivia: What time will you be off work tonight?
Olivia had made dinner for us every night this week. Things had gone back to normal between us. Well, as close to normal as they could get.
I had told my brother I would stop by the ranch and help him with the fence that had finally given way. He had put it off far too long, and now there was no longer any time to waste. We’d need the fenced area once Ruby, our Bay Thoroughbred Stallion, had her foal. Which would be any day now. The fenced area was attached to her stall, which would serve as their roaming area.
Olivia and I had discussed the possibility of me being home late this morning, but from the sounds of it she had already forgotten.
Me: At the ranch helping with the fence. May be late.
I waited a few minutes for a response, and when it didn’t come I gathered my boots and climbed from my truck. My dad was just walking out the back door as I rounded the house, both on our way toward the barn.
“How’s Ruby doing? Any baby yet?” I asked.
He smiled and shook his head. “Nothing yet, but Doc is coming in the morning to check her out again. If she don’t go before then.”
“Where’s Ma?” I asked as I sat down on the tree stump just outside the barn. I pulled off my good boots and slipped on those I had just for doing chores on the ranch.
“She and Liv went into town earlier. I haven’t seen her since.” He looked at me like I knew they had plans today.
“Olivia just texted me, wanting to know when I would be home. What do you think the two of them are up to?”
He shrugged and walked off, but the smirk on his lips told me he was hiding something. I quickly finished with my boots and jogged after him.
“What’s going on, ol’ man?” I pushed at his shoulder, and he stumbled to the right, chuckling. “And don’t give me this shit about not knowing.”
“Don’t spoil it for Liv, Pop. That girl will let you have it, and Ma will tan your hide,” Jackson declared as he entered the barn from the other side.
I looked back and forth between the two of them, wondering what in the hell was going on. I had a feeling I was the only one that didn’t know.
“Fine.” I shrugged it off, trying to appear unaffected by their secretive behavior. “But, uh—” I turned my back to them and busied myself stacking the boards to carry out toward the fence. “—did you two ever tell Ma how her favorite vase got broken last week?”
Silence settled in behind me, and I strutted off to get busy, chuckling to myself. Right now they were both playing out their options, I was sure of it. Suffer the wrath of Momma when she found out the two of them were playing football in the house or fill me in on what the hell my daughter was planning to throw at me.
I was out by the fence for at least ten minutes before I heard the shuffle of feet as someone approached from behind.
“So you two jackasses decide to fill me in, or should I call Momma and give her the scoop on your indoor activities while she was gone?”
When I didn’t get an answer, I looked over my shoulder, expecting to find my father or Jackson and was shocked to see Amber instead. I froze mid-swing with the hammer and stared at her in shock.
I visited the bakery this morning, using the excuse of getting coffee when I truly just wanted to see her. It had been over three weeks since I last had, and I missed her more every day. I had every intention of telling her that, but when she looked up at me, I chickened out and bolted without a word. Now here she stood before me, and for a moment I thought for sure I had to be imagining it. But when Olivia walked up next to her, I knew it was real.
I placed the hammer down on the ground at my side and stood to face them.
Amber looked like a full-blooded country girl in a tight tank top and jeans that hugged her every curve, but the cowgirl boots topped off the outfit. I couldn’t help the reactions my body had to her. It was as if I’d been in the dark for the last three weeks, and now with her so close, I was instantly lit up.
“What’s going on, Liv?”
My sweet girl stepped forward, closing the distance between us and stopped within inches of me, smiling brightly. “I don’t want you to be lonely, Daddy.”
I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her against my chest. “I’ve got you, kid. With a best friend like you, I could never be alone.”
She lifted her head, and I looked back at her. “I know you miss Amber. She misses you too, trust me, I know.” Apparently she and Amber had spent some time talking today. “I told her I’m ready to accept the two of you. I want her in our lives.”
My throat tightened as I looked adoringly at my daughter. “What did you do?” I smiled, and she returned an even brighter one.
“I let go of the darkness. I know Momma will always be in our hearts. We’ll never forget her. But Amber can help us heal.” A tear ran down her cheek, and I caught it with my thumb. “I know that now. Momma would want us to be happy.”
I nodded as I fought back my own tears.
“I realized something today,” she said.
“What’s that, baby girl?” The pride in my heart at that moment was overwhelming.
Her chin quivered, and she wrinkled up her nose to try to hide it. “If Momma was still here and she had the chance to meet Amber, under different circumstances, she would have loved her. I’m positive they would have been friends.”
I knew what she meant. Claire would have taken Amber under her wing and made sure she felt welcomed in Livingston. They would have enjoyed each other’s company, I had no doubt about that.
I hugged Olivia close and rocked her from side to side. Knowing she was ready to open up to a second chance warmed my heart.
I looked up just in time to see Amber drying her own tears from witnessing the exchange between Liv and me.
Olivia stepped back and allowed space between us. “I’m gonna go inside with Gran and give you two some much-needed time.” I nodded, and she turned and walked toward Amber.
My stomach already felt like it was lodged in my throat from our conversation. But the moment Amber wrapped her arms around Oliva and they exchanged a hug, I had to fight back the tears. I tried to quietly clear my throat, fighting off the urge to rush in and take them both in my arms.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Amber
I watched Olivia walk back toward the house, afraid to turn around and face Ryan. I wasn’t sure what his reaction was going to be to Olivia’s plan. When she was no longer visible, I had no other option than to face him and deal with his rejection or acceptance.
When I turned around, I was startled by his closeness. I’d been so focused on Olivia I hadn’t noticed him right behind me.
“Um, hi,” I said in surprise, which only made him chuckle.
“Hi,” he said in return, taking one last step toward me. His chest was now within inches of mine. “I’ve missed you.”
His words made my knees weak. “I’ve missed you too.”
He placed his hands on my hips, and I rested mine on his biceps. “That was a huge step for her.” He tilted his head toward the house. I nodded in agreement. “You sure you’re ready to be a part of our craziness?”
“If you still want me.”
He wrapped his arms around my waist and fanned his palms out over my lower back. “Amber,
I never stopped wanting you. You’ve made me whole again.”
I tipped my head back and looked up into his gorgeous eyes, combing my fingers through the hair at his nape.
“I’m gonna kiss you now,” he assured me. “But just so you know, we have an audience. My entire family is watching.”
I smiled at him, feeling happier than I had in weeks. “Well then, you better make it good, Cowboy.”
His lips settled over mine, and my toes curled in my boots. It had been far too long since he had kissed me.
***
“Dinner was amazing. Thank you for inviting me to stay,” I said
Tammy smiled as she looked around the table. It was surrounded by her family—all three of her boys, her husband, and her granddaughter. And they had allowed me to share the night with them.
“You are always welcome to join us, Amber,” Tammy said. She was such a kind woman.
“Hey, Ma, don’t forget about her roommate. We can’t force her to eat alone all the time.” Jackson looked over at Ryan and wagged his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
“You mean the girl that kissed you once and never came back for more?” Noah chimed in, and even their dad laughed when Noah squared his shoulders, appearing proud of the dig he’d thrown at his brother.
It was comical to see Noah, Jackson, and Ryan interact. They picked and poked at one another, doing all they could to get each other wound up. They welcomed me into their home and into their family, and it felt almost natural to be near them—like I had known them for years.
After dinner, I helped Tammy clear the table, even though she insisted I relax. Then I stood back, watching Ryan and Olivia as they stood side by side, washing the dishes. The small radio on the end of the counter was set to a country station, and Ryan sang along with the music. He mimicked the tone of the singer’s voice, making his own deep and rough. Olivia laughed and nudged him with her hip and giggled when he hip-bumped her in return. At one point he pretended the spoon he was holding was a microphone and tilted his head to the side, belting out the verse only to chuckle when Liv rolled her eyes.
“That is a beautiful sight right there.” I was startled by Bill, Ryan’s dad, as he stepped up beside me. I had been peeking around the refrigerator to observe the two of them and didn’t notice him approaching. When I turned to look at him, I knocked a picture on the wall crooked with my head. Bill steadied it before it fell and smiled down at me. Ryan resembled his father, but Noah was almost identical to him.
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” He chuckled. “I just saw you over here watching, and I couldn’t help myself. I never thought I would ever see my son smile and laugh again like he is now.”
I looked back toward them as they continued to wash the dishes and laugh. “I can’t take credit for that.”
“You can and you should,” he said. “After he lost Claire, I worried every day that the son I raised would forever be gone. Yeah, he still looked like him on the outside, but inside he was hollow. He fought to smile, he had to force himself through the days. Olivia was the only reason he kept going. But now, that man I thought we’d lost…” He paused as he shifted his eyes toward the kitchen. “He’s coming back a little more each day. That, darlin’, has a lot to do with you.”
When I looked back into the kitchen, Ryan’s gaze met mine. He winked and motioned with his head for me to join them.
I hesitated only to have Bill chastise my reluctance over disturbing their father-daughter moment. “You’re part of their circle now, sweetheart. Don’t take that lightly. The want you. Now go take care of them. They mean the world to me, and I can see they do to you too.” He nudged my shoulder with his.
“They certainly do mean the world to me,” I assured him before walking toward the two people that now held my heart.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ryan
“I think I’m gonna stay the night with Gran. She promised she would teach me how to knit,” Olivia said without looking up at me.
“Smooth, Liv.” I chuckled.
“What?” she replied innocently.
“You can’t lie worth shit, kid. You couldn’t come up with something other than knitting?” I tickled her knee, and she giggled, shifting on the couch to get away from me. She was sandwiched in between Noah and me. We pinned her on opposite sides, and together we tortured the truth out of her.
“Okay, fine, I thought you and Amber could have a night alone. I had it planned all along. I already packed a bag.”
Sneaky little shit. When Amber walked away from me almost four weeks ago, I never once thought it would be Liv that brought us back together.
“You sure about this?” I asked, and she nodded without hesitation.
After we said our good-byes, I walked Amber to her car, which was parked just behind my truck. It was hidden by the darkness and out of view of the house, so I took advantage of our privacy and backed her up against the side, grinning down at her with assurance.
“You coming home with me?”
“Is that a question or a demand?’ She batted her lashes and bit her lower lip.
“Darlin’, it has been far too long since I felt you in my arms. So either you are coming home with me or I’m following you to your place. You can make the choice, but one way or another, I will have you in my bed or yours.”
She shivered, and I knew my demanding tone had affected her. I couldn’t fight the smirk that pulled at the corner of my mouth. Bending my head just slightly, I feathered my lips over hers, teasing. “I’ve missed you, and I want you. Come home with me, baby.”
She nodded, and I took her mouth with mine, giving her just a small preview of what was to come the moment I got her to my place.
She followed behind me, and the drive to my house felt longer than it ever had before. I pulled into my driveway, and after placing the truck in park, I turned off the ignition and practically jogged back to meet her as she pulled up behind me.
I quickly took her hand, led her toward the front door, and rushed to unlock it as she giggled at my need to get inside as fast as possible. I had thought Amber and I were over, so now that I had her, I sure as hell was going to show her just how much she meant to me.
After I opened the door, I tossed my keys on the counter, turned, and stalked back to her, where she stood near the front door. Without a word, I spun her around and began backing her down the hall.
Amber looked up at me, and I could immediately see the hesitation in her eyes. I paused at my bedroom door, and she worried her lower lip, looking over her shoulder.
I placed my fingers under her chin and tilted her head to face me. “What’s wrong?” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and she tried to avert her eyes. “Amber,” I whispered, and she immediately shifted her eyes to meet mine. “Talk to me, baby. Tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s just that I feel strange being here, knowing who you shared this bed with.”
I rushed to stop her talking by placing my lips against hers. She sagged against the wall just outside my room and gave in to the kiss.
When I pulled back, she kept her eyes shut. “The only person that has ever slept in my bed is me, besides the few times Olivia fell asleep there too.” She opened her eyes and looked up at me. “It was something I had to do to move on. After the first few months of sleeping on the couch, I decided to get a new bed. I also traded rooms with Olivia. I had to do what I had to do to move on.”
She continued to stare up at me as I skimmed my thumb along her jaw. “You are my second chance at love, Am. You’re my new beginning.”
As she began to relax, I reached around and grabbed the backs of her thighs, then lifted her so she could wrap her legs around my waist.
I carried her to the bed, gently placed her against the mattress, and took a moment to appreciate the sight of her lying there. Having her here in my space was just another step toward our new beginning. It was something I was ready for. She belonged with me.
During our last night t
ogether in her apartment, before everything fell apart, I knew there was no turning back. Amber had already made me fall in love with her. She had healed me, and I would forever cherish the gift she had given me.
“What are you thinking?” she asked as she slowly began to remove her shirt.
I grinned and pulled my own shirt up over my head, then placed my knee on the mattress and began crawling toward her just as she slipped the straps of her bra down her arms. I let my gaze roam over her body before I closed the distance between us.
I kissed her exposed chest at the dip of her neckline, then kissed her neck before moving to her jaw. Leaning back, I looked down at her, staring into her big, beautiful brown eyes as every feeling I felt for Amber over the last few months washed over me all at once. All the patience she had shown me and her compassion for not only me but for my daughter pulled at my heart.
Her brown hair fanned out over my pillow as she looked up at me in awe. I leaned in and kissed her lips gently before pulling back once more.
“I’ve fallen in love with you, sweetheart, and being here with you is exactly where I was meant to be. Even after everything I believe we were meant to meet.” Her eyes glistened as she continued to watch me. “I love you, Amber Dirksen, and even if you try, I won’t let you get away again, ever.” I lowered my lips to hers, and just before I took her mouth in a sweet, slow kiss, she whispered in return.
“I love you too, Ryan. So much.”
***
Waking up to Amber fanned out over my chest was the best way to start my day, and her being naked just made it even better.
I folded the pillow behind my head, propping myself up a little higher. It made looking down at her that much easier. Her lips were puffy and held in a shape that resembled a pout. Her breaths were more like light pants, and I grinned as I listened to each one. She looked so peaceful and almost angelic. I traced my finger along her bare shoulder, and she moaned faintly as she curled in closer.
