by Tasha Black
These movies had been sent out far and wide as a welcome message from Earth. Humans had wanted contact with other beings.
But not Jana.
He sat on the sofa and put his head in his hands.
“What’s wrong, brother?” Hannibal asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s Jana,” Fletcher said. “I think I messed things up.”
“How?” Spenser asked.
“Things seemed like they were going well today,” Fletcher explained. “I do not wish to ask her to give up her dreams. But today, it was like she thought she could have both.”
Hannibal nodded. “We did some research, brother,” he said. “Many actors have spouses. It is common that they marry and have families. Whatever it is that makes Jana think she cannot be an actor and have a family, it has nothing to do with requirements or propriety.
“Is that true, brother?” Fletcher asked.
“Very true,” Spenser put in. “Search celebrity marriage on the internet and you will find numberless results. Some of them more heartwarming than others.”
“She can have both a career and a relationship,” Hannibal said.
“I would give her both, and happily,” Fletcher said.
“She knows that,” Spenser said suddenly. “I’m sure that she knows how much you care for her.”
“I don’t know,” Fletcher sighed.
“What happened?” Hannibal asked.
“We went to a place called Comic Con,” Fletcher explained. “It was most interesting, brothers, I wish that you had been there and that we could have spent a day exploring the humans’ ideas of what it means to be alien.”
“Yes, brother,” Hannibal said. “One day we will go together.”
“But then when we began talking with Beatrix, the artist who is married to our brother, Jana began to cry,” Fletcher explained. “Well, she didn’t cry, but as we walked away her eyes were full of tears. And she chose not to tell me why.”
“Was this woman unkind?” Spenser demanded.
“Not at all,” Fletcher said. “She was most welcoming. She asked if we would like to get together for a family dinner. It was clear how much she likes Jana. They knew each other in childhood.”
“It sounds like a very enjoyable day,” Hannibal said. “What do you think made Jana so sad?”
“I do not know,” Fletcher admitted. “But I think that it was seeing another woman who was following her dreams,” Fletcher said. “There was a very long line of very eager people there to see Beatrix. I’m afraid that Jana thinks if she accepts my bond her dreams will be lost to her.”
“Spenser said something very wise just now,” Hannibal said.
“I did?” Spenser asked, looking very surprised.
“Of course,” Hannibal said. “You said that you were very sure Jana knew how Fletcher felt. But in my experience, humans are not as perceptive as our kind. It all comes of having a physical body. Bodies are very distracting. Sometimes you have to be very clear in your words to be fully understood.”
Fletcher nodded, thinking.
“So he should tell Jana exactly how he feels about her, about her career, about everything?” Spenser asked.
“I would like to do that, but I wouldn’t want to push her,” Fletcher said.
“I am beginning to think that we worry too much about propriety,” Hannibal said. “Your feelings for Jana are too important to be left unspoken.”
“I should be her comforter in times of sadness,” Fletcher realized out loud. “I should not have left her to run to Vi with her sorrows when I am here.”
“Give her space to talk with her friend,” Hannibal suggested. “You can help us hang up these posters while you think about what you want to say to her. When your idea comes to fullness, go to her.”
“Thank you, brothers,” Fletcher said. “I am glad we have each other.”
“Yes, yes,” Spenser said, sounding embarrassed. “Now help us decide which poster belongs over the fireplace. I believe it is the boy who is left alone in his house over the holidays. But Hannibal prefers the agency that defeats ghosts.”
“They are the most fierce and ridiculous,” Hannibal pointed out.
“Yes, but a holiday movie belongs over the hearth,” Spenser declared.
Fletcher smiled as they continued their debate.
17
Jana
Jana paced outside of 221B, waiting for Vi to return.
All the events of the day were swirling in her head and she was too distracted to notice that the person walking up to her was not Vi.
She started forward and then realized it was one of the skateboard kids.
He was walking toward her slowly, without his board.
“Uh, hi,” he said in a confused way, likely wondering why Jana had headed right for him.
She certainly didn’t want to tell him she thought he was Vi.
“Where’s your skateboard?” she asked instead.
“Someone took it,” he muttered.
“Not cool,” she said sympathetically.
He gave a sullen nod of acknowledgement and kept walking.
Vi appeared a moment later, carrying two greasy looking white bags and a cup holder with two paper cups, condensation running down their sides.
“Hey,” Vi said breathlessly.
“What’s all this?” Jana asked, her stomach practically growling in anticipation as the smell of deep-fried goodness hit her.
“Curly cheese fries and chocolate shakes,” Vi said in a businesslike way.
“Wow,” Jana said.
“You sounded stressed,” Vi said.
“Touché.”
They headed up to the apartment and Jana watched as Vi carefully set out the shakes and paper trays overflowing with fries.
“I talked to Bea,” Jana said.
“Yeah?” Vi asked. “I was almost afraid you didn’t get to her. She’s really blown up since the movie came out.”
“She’s doing so well,” Jana agreed fondly. “And the mural is definitely her work.”
“Who hired her?” Vi asked.
“She doesn’t know,” Jana said. “Someone offered an anonymous donation to a foundation she volunteers for, so she agreed.”
“Do you think we could convince the foundation to spill the beans?” Vi asked.
“Doubtful,” Jana said. “If they start naming anonymous donors, they might not get the next donation.”
Vi nodded in agreement as she shoved a cheese-covered curly fry in her mouth.
“So you did some digging about the contest for the studio space, right?” Jana asked, pulling her own curly fry slowly out of its pool of cheese, and letting it spring back into shape before taking a bite.
“Okay, here’s the thing,” Vi said. “I’ve dug everywhere I can think to dig. And I can’t find one shred of evidence that there ever was a contest.”
Jana took a sip of her heavenly milkshake.
The sweet chocolatey taste filled her senses and she had a moment of true contentment.
“Vi,” she said dreamily. “Do you think maybe we’re being silly?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean even if it is all connected, someone trained the dogs, painted a pretty mural, gave some kids a studio space,” Jana said. “It’s weird but it’s not exactly villainous.”
“You forgot the stolen cars,” Vi pointed out.
“True,” Jana replied.
“And the skateboards,” Vi added.
“What do you mean, the skateboards?” Jana asked.
“Oh, right, you weren’t here,” Vi said. “The community message board has been lighting up about skateboards going missing off of porches.”
That lined up. She’d heard one of the kids complain about losing his right before Vi arrived with the food.
“What’s happening in this town?” Jana asked.
“I have no idea,” Vi replied. “And it’s driving me crazy. I feel like it’s right on the edge
of my brain.”
“Mm,” Jana said, sipping her milkshake again.
“Oh wow, I’m sorry I keep forgetting to ask you,” Vi said. “When do you find out about the play?”
Jana sighed.
“You know, I hadn’t thought about it in like an hour.”
Vi laughed.
“I know that seems silly,” Jana admitted. “But it’s all I’ve ever wanted, an opportunity like this.”
“So you haven’t heard?” Vi asked.
Jana shook her head.
“Is it weird that this thing with Fletcher has me wrapped up in knots?”
“Definitely not,” Vi said. “But look at Hannibal and me. Did you really picture me settling down with a nice beau, like a week ago?”
“Definitely not,” Jana laughed. “At least, not so quickly.”
“In a weird way, that made it easier,” Vi said thoughtfully. “Everything with him is so certain. It’s all out in the open. I don’t have to wonder where I stand.”
That was a good point.
“How are you feeling about Fletcher?” Vi asked.
“I don’t know,” Jana admitted. “I like him a lot. But I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would focus on my career until I got where I wanted to be.”
“Does he know that?” Vi asked.
“Yes. No. Maybe?” Jana said.
“You can’t toy with him, Jana,” Vi said. “Not that I think that’s what you’re doing. But you have to be careful. They wear their hearts on their sleeve. Even if they look soooooo good without sleeves.”
Vi smiled and popped another cheese fry.
Jana nodded and looked down at her hands, suddenly feeling horrible for letting anything happen with Fletcher. She hadn’t meant to lead him on.
“When he says he would do anything for you, he means it,” Vi said. “They don’t just say I would die for you, like some of the guys we’ve known. Fletcher would launch himself in front of a moving bus in a heartbeat if he thought it would help you.”
“I know,” Jana said. “I know.”
“Anyway, cheers,” Vi said, lifting her shake. “To acting jobs and hot aliens.”
“To friendship,” Jana said instead.
“I’ll drink to that,” Vi said with a grin and then took a long sip of her shake.
18
Jana
Jana was just wrapping up a yoga session, inspired by her unhealthy lunch, when there was a tap at the door.
Vi had disappeared with Hannibal about an hour ago to check out the missing skateboard development, so there was no one else to answer the knock.
“Coming,” Jana said, hopping up.
She opened the door to find Fletcher.
The afternoon light from the windows behind her made his eyes appear luminous. She wanted nothing more than to flow into his arms. But she remembered what Vi had said.
And she noticed the tension in his big body. He carried himself stiffly, as if he were nervous.
“Come in,” she said, stepping backward to give him room.
She saw the flash of disappointment in his eyes, as if he had hoped she would embrace him instead of inviting him in like a hostess at a restaurant.
You’re already hurting him, she scolded herself. This is why you shouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place.
“Shall we sit?” she asked, feeling a stiff formality in her body as well, even though she’d spent most of the last hour stretching.
“Thank you,” Fletcher answered.
He sat on the sofa and she perched on the chair opposite him.
For a moment, they observed each other, tension thick in the air.
She longed to break it with a giggle and then climb on his lap and cuddle into him, cheering them both up, before making slow, sweet love with him.
But that was the opposite of what she needed to do, the opposite of what a friend would do when they cared about the other person and didn’t want to hurt them.
“Jana, I need to talk with you, seriously,” Fletcher said. “Is that okay?”
Oh.
That sounded like a break-up.
Suddenly, stupidly, she wanted him more than ever.
She clenched her fists in her lap and nodded.
“Jana, I have loved every moment we’ve spent together,” he told her, leaning forward, an earnest expression on his handsome face. “I feel lucky to know you and be part of your life.”
“Me too,” she said, knowing he expected her to say something.
“I want to allow you the time and space to decide what you want your life to hold,” he told her. “But I also want you to know how I feel.”
Her stomach twisted as she realized the conversation was going in the opposite of the direction she had thought.
“Jana, I love you,” he said. “I want to be your mate. I want to be your comfort in times of sadness, and your partner in joy. I want to protect and worship you.”
She choked back a building sob.
“I want to be your husband, and the father to your children,” he went on. “You are my whole world. And all I want is to make your world better.”
“Fletcher, I can’t,” she whispered.
“Why not?” he asked. “Beyoncé has a husband.”
“You know who Beyoncé is?” she asked.
“Of course,” he told her. “Doesn’t everyone?”
She shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts.
“Fletcher, I’m waiting to hear if I got a part that will send me to a tiny studio apartment in New York to rehearse,” she said. “And if I don’t get this part, I’ll get the next one. Or I’ll want to. At the end of the day I’m not ready to be a wife or a mother yet. I’m not ready to settle down in Stargazer and give you the mate bond you need.”
His face fell.
“I am sorry—” he began.
“No, I’m sorry,” she replied. “I’m sorry I can’t be your mate. But I want to be a friend to you. And right now that means giving you some space so you can forget about me.”
“I could never forget you, Jana,” he said.
“And I will never forget you,” she said, fighting tears. “But I hope that we can both move on.”
She stood, hoping he would take the cue and do the same.
He did as she had hoped, and she walked him to the door.
“Jana, if you change your mind,” he said.
“I won’t,” she assured him. It had to be a clean break. She couldn’t keep him waiting in the wings. She respected and cared for him far too much for that.
He headed through the doorway, head hanging downward slightly. His whole physical demeanor seemed somehow smaller than before, as if the big man had shrunk while they spoke.
When he was gone from her sight, she closed the door again and leaned on it, wondering if the hollow feeling in her chest would ever go away.
19
Fletcher
Fletcher walked out of Jana’s apartment and down the stairs without thinking about where he was headed.
His feet automatically carried him past the second-floor landing and on down to the front door.
Outside, the air was clear and cold and the birds were singing with all their hearts. Scarlet leaves drifted down to join the golden ones that already lined the sidewalk. The rich scents of the dusky leaves and the aromas from the café across the street combined to create what Fletcher thought of as the essence of Stargazer.
But it all seemed empty.
He looked around. The world was still as lush and beautiful as before. It was Fletcher himself who felt bleak and barren.
He walked, not caring where he was going, passing the diner where he and Jana and their friends had enjoyed loud, delicious meals.
A few minutes later, he passed a bus stop and briefly wondered if he should wait for a bus too, then board it and go wherever it took him.
But his feet kept going.
He saw a blur of other people out walking - mothers pushing strol
lers, groups of kids laughing and shoving each other, and a pair of men carrying basketballs and gym bags and talking animatedly.
He was surrounded by life, but Fletcher still felt alone.
At last, his feet stopped walking.
He looked up to find the mural of Aerie.
As the people on the sidewalk moved all around him, Fletcher stood perfectly still, a stone in a flowing river.
The mural looked so real. Stars seemed to twinkle and the mist around his transforming brother flowed like Fletcher remembered his own gaseous form used to flow.
He closed his eyes and pictured the peace of Aerie.
The silence there was absolute. And the contrast between the dark crags and the pure unfiltered starlight gave everything a depth that made this softly lit planet feel almost two-dimensional in comparison.
He remembered the weightlessness of his body, the way it had rippled and flowed in the winds of Aerie, the rich satisfaction of soaking in a bright ray of starlight, and the emptiness of an hour of darkness.
He had enjoyed a sort of wordless camaraderie with Spenser and Hannibal even then, before they had been chosen to migrate together into human form.
Fletcher had not been unhappy there. He had not known any other life and he had thrived in the vast quiet of his first world.
The alien in the mural seemed to glance up at him. For an instant, Fletcher was fixed in his terrible blue gaze.
That was when he recognized his brother.
This was not just any man from Aerie, it was Ash, who had such trouble migrating. In the end, he needed his bride to come to him in order to find the change. And when he finally did, the happiness they found among the stars knew no bounds.
He was an exception, but his story made Fletcher realize a staggering truth.
The mating bond wasn’t about the place.
It wasn’t about the distance or the geography. It wasn’t even about bearing young.
It was about learning to be completely yourself by loving someone else with everything you had.
Even when it was hard.
Even when it hurt.
Fletcher had thought that the bond was about finding home, and it was.
