She blinked several times, the fog in her mind thick and dense. She wasn’t even sure she had heard him right, let alone confident in her decision-making skills. Had she read them all wrong? Had she convicted them without due process, without giving them the chance to explain? Yes, she had done those things, and she’d been righteous in her belief that she was making the right choice, but now…she wasn’t so sure.
Stepping back, she placed much needed distance between them in an attempt to unmuddy her thoughts. “I thought…I talked to my dad and he said…” She frowned, revisiting their conversation. Had she somehow gotten it all wrong? Emotions had been running high. It was possible she’d jumped to the worst possible conclusions and saw warning flags where none existed.
“What did your dad say?” Oliver’s voice was soft, calm, unlike Sabrina’s tumultuous emotions. She wanted to run into his arms and let him hold her until she didn’t feel any of those things anymore.
Scrubbing two fingers between her brows to relieve the tension that had settled there, she said, “Someone knows about us. That we were…together.”
“What? How?” William sounded angry again, disbelieving. Then, he grew insistent. “Sabrina, we never said anything. We wouldn’t do that. That’s a decision for all of us to make…together.”
“We know how unconventional all of this is,” Oliver added, sounding more assertive than she’d ever heard him. “And we know how this would impact you if it got out. We wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Ever.”
The ferocity of their claims was the second step in her undoing, dialing down Sabrina’s indignation and sowing more seeds of self-doubt. She felt as if she were losing her mind, unable to remember a time when she’d ever miscalculated anything as poorly as she had this.
“I…I don’t know what to say.” Or feel. Sabrina was filled with confusion. She hadn’t wanted to believe they would betray her, but once she had reached that conclusion, it was hard to let it go. What if they were lying? What if this was a deflection from the truth? She would be a fool to believe them, if that were the case. But if she didn’t believe them, she could be throwing away a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity at the ultimate form of happiness.
In that moment, all Sabrina could think was, “WWJD?” Translation: What would Janet do? They’d often served as each other’s compass, especially when life got tough. It was always easier for an outside party to see what wasn’t obvious to the person closest to the problem. In this case, Sabrina needed to know if she should throw out her suppositions that had, so far, zero proof to back them up, or if she should hold strong and kick their asses to the curb.
“Say that you believe us,” Oliver said, eyes pleading.
Sabrina’s heart clenched, and if it possessed arms, she imagined it would have reached out to embrace him. But when was a heart ever smart? She had to use her head in this matter, even if it went against her every instinct to take their word at face value.
“‘Brina—”
Sabrina’s hand shot up, palm out, to stop William. She couldn’t think with the two of them standing in front of her, influencing her position. She needed distance, a moment of quiet just to think.
“I need to make a call. Excuse me.”
She didn’t hang around to wait for or listen to their questions or comments. Sabrina brushed past William and swiped her cell phone off the kitchen counter, then she beat a path to the bathroom where there was a lock on the door and an exhaust fan to dampen her conversation.
Sitting on the closed toilet lid, she dialed the number she knew by heart. “Please be home. Please be home. Please be—”
“Hey, ‘Brina—”
“Jan! Thank God.” The sound of her friend’s voice was a balm to her frazzled nerves. “I need advice.”
“Twice in one week? Man, I must be good.”
“At this rate, you may need to start charging for your services.”
“I’m thinking twenty an hour to start.”
Sabrina wanted to laugh, but she was too high-strung for such levity. “I have a problem.”
She went on to explain the whole situation—what her father told her, the plane trip, the guys showing up and their explanation. By the time she’d laid it all bare, her jumbled feelings included, she felt like a weight had been lifted, even though nothing had been sorted out yet.
“Wow, well…what a mess, for starters.” Jan, ever the helpful one, stated plainly. “I can certainly see why you’re discombobulated. And even though I’ve been admiring your life’s direction up to this point, I do not envy the position you’re in now.”
“Any advice?” Sabrina was hopeful, even though Janet’s dialogue wasn’t offering much to go on.
“This is a real head-scratcher…I guess I’d say…what does your heart tell you?”
“That’s the problem,” Sabrina lamented. “It wants to believe them, but logically, I know they could easily be feeding me lies just to keep up the ruse long enough to finish enacting their plan. I can’t afford to be stupid about this. There’s too much on the line.”
“I don’t see how you can get around it. You have to make a choice, and when it comes to matters of the heart, like it or not, sometimes you have to take a calculated risk.”
“This might be more risk than I’m willing to take.”
“Let me ask you this. Are you struggling with it because you truly are torn on what to believe, or are you running from your feelings?”
That was a good question, and one that caught Sabrina off-guard. What were her true, underlying motivations? She certainly hadn’t been expecting them to show up in her life, nor had she expected to be so thoroughly attracted to them, or hopeful for more to come out of their arrangement. It was plainly obvious to her, the more she considered the depth of her feelings, that she was growing attached to all three of them, and if she continued seeing them, if she chose to move past this day, she was in danger of falling in love.
That was premature thinking, she knew, but she also knew herself. Sabrina never had sex with anyone casually. It wasn’t in her nature. What she did, she did deliberately, with purpose. Her initial purpose had been to satisfy her cravings for them, for their bodies, but now she wanted them to have more of that connection she felt whenever they looked at her in that way they did, as if she were the only woman in the room, the only woman they had eyes for. They made her feel special, as if they saw something in her that no one else did.
Sabrina had been hunting for that elusive connection her whole life. Personally and professionally. All she’d ever wanted was for someone to see the real her, to recognize her worth, and to appreciate her.
The Hargreaves appeared to fit the bill. They said they did. More importantly, she felt it. Having sex with them had only bound them to one another, or at least bound her to them. Was it even possible to give that up, to turn her back and walk away from it all?
They weren’t too far in yet. They hadn’t merged lives or anything important yet, so yes, theoretically, she could cut ties, move them all to opposite corners of the world, and put the whole experience behind her. In reality, she knew it was much more complicated than that.
“Your silence speaks volumes, sista.” Janet’s voice brought Sabrina back to the moment, sitting in that bathroom, the fan whirling loudly overhead, and her two guys outside the room, waiting on her to emerge and issue her verdict.
“In case you’re still looking for an answer,” Janet spoke again, “I think you need to stop second-guessing everything and looking for problems where none may exist. I think you need to go out there and choose them, choose to believe them, and choose to be just a little bit selfish for once and take what you know you want and deserve, which is three gorgeous men who want to make you happy.”
“So I should just forget what my father said?”
“Did I say that? I don’t remember saying that.” Janet’s tone grew firm. “Look, you go do everything I told you to do, but don’t forget shit. You keep that little nugg
et in the back of your mind, watch their behaviors, their actions, and your ass. If something seems off, dig deeper. It doesn’t pay to be stupid. So be smart and play this out with both eyes wide open. Now that you’ve been warned, you can take steps to cover your ass while they…ahem, cover your ass.”
This time, Sabrina snickered a little, amused with her friend’s knack for lightening any moment, no matter how serious. “I see your point. I’m going to do that. Thank you, Jan. You’re always here when I need you.”
“What are sisters from another mister for?”
“’Kay, they’re waiting for me. I’ll let you go.”
“Get out there and knock ‘em dead! But not literally. With kindness. And tits and ass wouldn’t hurt either. And—”
“Bye, Janet,” Sabrina singsonged as she pulled the phone away from her ear and ended the call with a huge smile on her face. She loved that woman to the moon and back. Didn’t know what she would do without her.
She rose to her feet and sighed as she stared at the closed and locked door, preparing herself mentally to go back out there and clue William and Oliver in on her decision.
“Here goes nothing…”
Chapter Nineteen
Sabrina’s intent, as she stepped out of her bedroom and approached the living area was waylaid by the appearance of an unexpected visitor.
Sitting on the couch was Oliver, and beside him, with an empty cushion left in between, was William. They were both watching her with caution and, if she wasn’t mistaken, a margin of apology. As they should. Because Sabrina felt ambushed.
Sitting in the single wingback chair was Conner. He appeared downtrodden yet irritated, and even determined as he looked up at her.
She could understand all of those emotions. He was, after all, the first to have hit her chopping block in terms of punishment. By now, he had to know what her motivations had been, as his brothers likely used their time alone with him to fill him in.
Still, faced with that kind of intensity, Sabrina found herself standing taller, her shoulders growing stiffer, and her back becoming as rigid as her attitude. “What are you doing here?” The question came out firm, but in her head, it’d been issued with no small amount of hurt and regret, knowing the reason. “Aren’t you supposed to be packing or something?”
Conner’s expression soured even further. If looks could kill…Well, he wouldn’t go that far. If anything, he might want to shake the tar out of her. She couldn’t blame him. Had the roles been reversed, she might be inclined to slap herself. Just how far she’d overreached was setting in, and Sabrina was embarrassed by her behavior.
“I’d like to speak with you alone,” Conner ground out as he pushed to his feet.
William and Conner were on alert, their loyalties clearly torn between their brother and her, but they made no move to go anywhere.
Sabrina took it upon herself to take the initiative. Motioning behind her, she said, “Fine, we can talk in my room.” Never mind the whole apartment belonged to her, but she wasn’t going to split hairs.
Conner silently followed her and closed the door behind him as they entered. Sabrina couldn’t bring herself to face him again, choosing to keep her back to him in an effort to remain strong.
Because she could feel her emotions folding in on her, all of the doubts and insecurities she’d worked so hard to keep a leash on getting away from her at an alarming rate.
“I’d ask why, but I already know.” Conner was the first to break the silence, but it only served to ramp up the tension. “My question would be why in the hell would you ever suspect me of such a thing? I thought we had a connection.”
“I thought so too,” Sabrina whispered, not trusting her voice.
“You didn’t even think to talk to me first. To us.”
“I didn’t see a need.”
He huffed angrily. “If we were working on a relationship, then that should have been the first thing you thought to do. I’d ask if you trust us, but again, the answer’s obvious.”
Sabrina, despite her best efforts, grew contrite. She didn’t enjoy being subjected to the third-degree. Even if she did deserve it. “It’s not like I know you all that well.” She spun around to face him. “You’re practically strangers to me. How am I supposed to suddenly trust you with my future? With my company?”
Conner’s countenance was downright scary as he closed the space between them. “I’ll tell you when. The moment you signed those papers bringing us into the fold, making us partners. The moment you got into the back seat of that car and let us escort you home.” His voice dropped lower, his words guttural. “The moment you let me kiss you, let me inside of you. And again when you let us all inside of you.”
Sabrina’s skin flared hot, her blood pumping through her veins like a raging wildfire, scorching her from the inside out. She was humiliated, shamed, and turned on by his accusations. Worse, she couldn’t deny any of it. He was right. As with any relationship, no matter how young it may be, they’d entered into an unspoken agreement, one that required a clean slate based on trust, and she was being held culpable because she’d violated that agreement at the first opportunity.
“I know you know better than to believe what you heard comes back to us. I don’t know who’s behind it or how it got out in the first place, but I will find out. Trust me on that.”
The way he was looking at her, his eyes so full of hope and hurt and a desire to fix everything that had gone wrong between them, Sabrina couldn’t find her way back to being stoic, and she couldn’t muster up the attitude she usually wore as a shield when she felt too raw, too exposed. Like she did now. Conner made her feel open, as if there were no place to hide. And she didn’t want to. Not really. She wanted to step into his arms and beg him to erase all the doubts and hurt that she’d experienced since yesterday, since her father had told her about the leak in their personal life.
She wanted Conner to make everything better.
As it turned out, she didn’t need to voice any of that. Conner knew, with a single look, what she wanted from him, and he eliminated the last of the space between them to accomplish it.
Taking her face between his large hands, he pulled her face up to his and kissed her as if she meant everything to him, pouring all of his hurt and anger and frustration into it, bruising her lips at the same time providing her with a tenderness she’d never known. He was making love to her mouth, she realized, in the same way that he wanted to with his body—that she wanted him to with his body.
Sabrina wanted all of Conner in that moment. She wanted to toss away every shred of worry and pain of the last twenty-four hours and dive into the abyss of pleasure and comfort that he promised her.
“I want you.” She issued the request on a broken whisper as his lips continued to devour hers, and his touch only grew more aggressive and hungrier in response, and hers did in turn.
With sure hands and deft fingers, Conner made quick work of divesting her of her clothes, stripping her bare yet again. Sabrina couldn’t think of a single moment in her past when she ever felt so needy or desperate for someone’s touch. She needed Conner. In that moment, she could think of nothing else. All of the confusion that had passed between them took a back seat to her lust for him, and, if possible, amplified it.
When he had her down to her birthday suit, Conner paused long enough to look down, to view her through hooded, lust-filled eyes. Sabrina stood stock still, the only thing moving her heaving breasts as she tried to get a hold of her frantic breathing, but before she could feel self-conscious, Conner took a shuddering, reverent breath.
“Jesus…Christ. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Sabrina’s answering smile was radiant. She felt the warmth of a thousand suns roll through her, making her skin tingle.
Conner trailed his hands down her arms to her hips and then her thighs, tracing a sure path toward her center. “I’m still mad at you. I want to punish you, spank your little pink ass, and fuck you un
til you can’t sit down.” His words fueled Sabrina, and she popped the button on his jeans, rolled the zipper down, and reached inside to grasp his throbbing cock. “I want you, Sabrina. Now. All of you.”
“Then take me,” she challenged, lifting onto her toes to kiss and then bite his lower lip.
“I don’t want to share.” He slipped a thick digit through her folds, now slippery with her silken heat, and growled low in his throat as he plunged it deep inside.
Just then, Sabrina didn’t want to share either. She wanted to center all of her attention on this man, this larger-than-life man who wanted her as much as she wanted him, every hot inch. Gripping his shaft tighter, she angled it toward her slick center and, standing on her toes, braced against his shoulders as she kissed his mouth and rocked her hips, allowing the fat head to cleave through her lower lips, wetting itself as it glided past her eager opening and teased her swollen clit.
Their breathing grew choppy, desperation setting in as Sabrina controlled the ministrations, ratcheting their arousal to heights neither had previously known. It was part of a game for her, to get what she wanted—needed—from him, to bring him to the brink of sanity, where she now stood, feeling as if she would die if she didn’t have him inside of her—now.
Grabbed by impatience that she knew and felt well, Conner bent at the knee and grabbed her ass, hoisting her into his arms and impaling her with his cock in one fluid motion as he backed her toward the bed and dropped down on top of her. He didn’t pause, didn’t break in his mission to do just what he’d told her he wanted to do.
In fact, Conner made good on his promise in spades.
Pounding into her, he bit and licked and sucked her flesh, from her lips to her breasts. Taking both tender mounds into his greedy hands, he squeezed her breasts hard enough to cause a bolt of pain and issued the same punishing treatment to her nipples. Sabrina, overcome by sensation from above and below, was held hostage, a slave to whatever he wanted to do to her.
Indecent Proposal: A Reverse Harem Romance Page 13
