by Hall, Linsey
The scent of vanilla hit my nose. It made my heart ache and my brain throb. But it was my mother’s scent. I knew it, as much from my shoddy memory as I did from the pain that indicated I was on the right track. My head only hurt when I was thinking about my past.
I held on to that scent of vanilla and the memory of my father, wishing I could see more of my mother than just a photo in my head.
Nothing came, but the locket warmed in my hand. I squeezed it tighter, thinking of my parents. Wishing I were with them.
The locket clicked in my hand, a little vibration of something opening. My eyes popped open. The memories faded. I opened my fist and looked inside.
The golden heart was cracked open at the seam. I pried it apart and peered at the interior. There was nothing but more etching, the gold incised with unfamiliar lines. I squinted, trying to make out the design.
“A map,” I whispered as I stood. “It’s a map.”
A swirl of light surrounded Aidan, and he transformed back into himself.
“It’s a map!” I held up the locket. “And it’s going to take me home.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“Here you go.” Ophelia handed me a brass-rimmed magnifying glass.
Aidan and I had found Ophelia and Nuria after I’d made my announcement and showed her the locket. She’d taken us to an enormous library that had soaring ceilings and walls covered with massive bookcases filled with scrolls.
“It’s a projecting glass,” Ophelia said. “Hold the locket so that the engraved map faces the wall, then hold the glass in front of that.”
I did as she said, directing the locket at a small strip of blank wall near the door. As soon as I raised the glass in front of the locket, light shined from it, projecting a series of squiggly lines on the wall.
“Wow,” I said. The map was intricate and beautiful, but entirely foreign. “Where is that?”
“The outline looks like Inismor, the largest of the Arran islands,” Aidan said.
“On the west coast of Ireland?” Ophelia asked.
“Yes,” Aidan said.
I traced the outline of the island, searching for something familiar. On the western edge, there was a small cove. The image of soaring cliffs and a crashing cobalt sea flashed in my mind. Pain followed, an agonizing sword through my brain.
“I see it.” I rubbed my temple. “An area near my house, I think.”
“Where?” Aidan asked.
“There.” I pointed to the little cove. A small symbol, like a flared Celtic cross inside a circle, sat right near the cove.
“Good. Then we know where to go.” Aidan looked at Ophelia. “Thank you for the help.”
“It is our pleasure,” Nuria said. “I’d hoped Cass would never need to use the locket, but we cannot always have what we want.”
Like my parents.
“Thank you.” My tight throat tried to strangle the words. “Without you, I wouldn’t have found my way home.”
“Eventually, you would have,” Nuria said. “But I’m glad I could help.”
Aidan and I said our goodbyes and made our way back to the plane. The trip across the island and over the sea in our little boat was uneventful.
I hadn’t yet noticed a trend with why the demons appeared when they did, and that scared me. It meant that my power was fluctuating wildly without me even knowing. Ever since I’d taken the Nullifier’s power, I’d felt like a magical mess, but this confirmed it. I had no control. This wasn’t normal magic I’d been saddled with.
By the time we boarded the plane, it was night again. We’d decided not to use the transport charm so that I would have it in case of emergency. I needed answers fast, but with Victor Orriodor’s demons hot on my trail, I needed an escape route more.
“If the seer spots me while we’re in the air, could the demons transport into the plane?” I asked.
“No,” Aidan said. “I’ve only heard of a couple cases of supernaturals dumb enough to try to transport into a plane, and they’ve always missed it. Too fast for them to catch. They always end up outside, a few thousand feet back.”
“And then splatted on the ground below.”
“Yes.”
“Good.” I stared at the locket in my palm. “I’m going to try to remember my past.”
I took a seat, and Aidan knelt at my knees. He was so tall that his face was still level with mine. His big hand cupped my cheek. “Are you sure? Doesn’t it give you terrible headaches?”
“Yes. But I need to know what I’m walking into. And a lot of my problems now are because I don’t understand where I’m from.”
“Just be careful.”
I nodded and leaned forward to kiss him. His hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, holding me firmly in place as his lips moved expertly on mine. Heat coiled low in my belly as his tongue parted my lips.
I kissed him back, throwing myself into it. If I had more time and no sword hanging over my neck, I wanted to spend a week with Aidan. Doing this. Hanging out and watching bad TV and eating take-out and doing more of this, this, this.
Regretfully, I pulled away. “As much as I’d like to continue that, my life is kinda on the line here.”
He nodded ruefully. “Agreed. Be careful.”
I nodded and leaned back, closing my eyes. Rustling sounded as Aidan moved away. I felt something at my waist and opened my eyes to glance down. Aidan was belting the seatbelt around my waist.
My mouth tipped up at the corner. “Thanks.”
“Safety first.”
“You’re a good guy.”
“Best you ever met.” He grinned.
“Cocky.”
He shrugged, his smile devastating, then turned and went to speak to the captain.
I was grinning as I closed my eyes again. For good measure, I raised the locket to my chest and pressed it against my heart, having no idea if it would work.
Everything I was doing now felt awkward and strange, like I was stumbling blind through a room looking for a key. It was there, the answers were there. I just had to find them.
But I didn’t only want to find answers. I wanted to know why I couldn’t remember. There was too much at stake, too much locked inside my mind, for me to go piecemeal, trying to remember bit by bit. I needed to know why I’d lost my memory so that maybe I could undo the damage.
I racked my brain, thinking of anything that might provide a clue. Every memory that I’d had before I was fifteen came from the nightmares that had started earlier in the summer, when Victor Orriodor had reappeared in my life.
I played the important memories over in my mind like a horrible movie, trying to reach the end where the answers lay. The memories started with Nix, Del, and me being held captive in his basement dungeon. There’d been other girls, too, who’d been taken away and not come back. And if they had come back, they’d worn collars. Those collars were the end of a girl, sapping her will and freedom, more so than even the dark cells that caged us like beasts.
I’d been taken from the cell at one point. The Monster had wanted to steal my root power. Whether he’d succeeded or not, I didn’t know. My locket had protected me from dying, but my memory didn’t answer whether he’d stolen my root power or destroyed it. He’d thrown me back in the cell after, a piece of trash to him.
But we’d escaped, my deirfiúr and I, killing a guard and racing through the dungeon to freedom. It was how I’d gotten my Mirror Mage powers, stolen straight from one of the bastards who’d imprisoned us.
When we’d reached the main floor of the Monster’s home, we’d escaped out into the desert. I knew now that it wasn’t any ordinary desert. It’d been a waypoint, a place between earth and the heavens and hells.
That was where my memories ended. That was where my answers had to lie. I strained to remember what happened as my deirfiúr and I had stood on the steps of the Monster’s mansion, staring out in horror at the endless sea of sand that rolled into the distance.
Agony pierced my head as I tri
ed to remember. I gagged and doubled over in my seat, but didn’t let up. I forced my mind to stay with the memory of that moment, trying to push forward into what had happened next. Nothing came except more pain, but I continued on.
Normally, I would retreat by now, giving up on finding the memories. It was too painful. Too hopeless.
But I had no more time for hopelessness. All I had time for was perseverance and commitment.
I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and pushed into the recesses of my mind, trying desperately to remember what had happened. Sweat rolled down my face, seeping into my closed eyes and burning. Nausea rolled in my stomach, and my head grew faint.
Finally, the pain ceased. But so did everything else. Blackness consumed me.
I stumbled in the sand, my hands sinking deep into the horrible golden stuff. When I raised my head, endless hills of desert stretched ahead. Blazing sun beat upon my back.
“No, no, no.” A soft, despairing voice uttered from my side.
I looked at her, the friend I’d never seen because we’d been locked in the dark the entire time we’d known each other. She was Nix, and I recognized her only by her voice. She was skinny and pale, her haunted face framed by stringy brown hair. Despairing green eyes swept over the desert. Though she’d said she was fifteen like me, she looked a bit younger. I’d never seen her face, but she was one of my only friends in the world.
At her side, the other stood silent, horror on her face. She must be Del, my other friend. Her black hair was as limp and dirty as the other girl’s, a testament to the horrifying conditions we’d lived in. But her blue eyes were determined.
More determined even than me. We’d escaped the dungeon we’d been trapped in, and this great desert wouldn’t defeat us.
“Run,” I said.
“But there’s nowhere to go,” Nix said.
“Just run.” Even the desert was better than what we’d left behind. We were still on the front doorstep of the place we were trying to flee. My heart thundered, and fear clawed at my throat, sending goosebumps across my skin.
I dragged Nix to her feet, and the three of us sprinted across the sand. Sweat poured down my face and into my eyes as I raced. My bare feet burned from the hot sand. Soon, my lungs struggled to keep up. I fell to my knees, sand sticking everywhere.
My muscles ached as I struggled to my feet and continued on, falling behind the other girls. I’d been in the dungeon too long, far longer than the others. My body was too weak. I glanced behind me at the Monster’s mansion. It was still so close.
I pushed myself, trying to find the strength to keep running. All it took was reminding myself what lay behind me. A sprint into barren desert was better than that.
But I kept stumbling, the heat and pain more than I could bear. I was on my knees, struggling to rise, when Nix appeared at my side. Wordlessly, she tugged me up and pulled me with her. I leaned on her as we ran.
When even she began to flag, Del joined our side, looping her arm around my waist. She dragged us along as we stumbled through the sand, our breathing a harsh cacophony in the quiet desert.
This time, when I looked behind me, the mansion had disappeared behind one of the dunes. But when I turned forward, all I saw was more sand. I’d never seen anything like this place. It was hell.
And I was too weak to continue on. My legs finally gave out. No matter how hard I tried, how many terrible memories of the dungeon I used to spur myself on, I couldn’t move.
“Go,” I said. “I will follow.”
I wouldn’t follow. There would be no following, not in this desert. I had no shortage of determination, but my muscles now failed. I would rather drown in sand than hold my friends back or return to the dungeon.
“No.” Nix pulled at my arm. “You’re coming.”
“I can’t walk.” Tears burned my eyes, but I struggled to hold them back.
“It doesn’t matter if we walk,” Del said. “They can follow our tracks, and the sand goes forever. We’ll never escape on foot, but we’ve gone as far as we need.”
“There’s nothing here,” I said.
“We’re here.” She sat on the sand next to me and gestured for Nix to sit. “We’re far enough from the dungeon that I can use my magic. It’s no longer repressed by their spells.”
“What can you do?” I asked.
“Transport.”
Hope flared in my chest, a light so bright I’d swear I’d never felt it before. I could see my parents again.
She reached for our hands. I grasped hers, horrified by how bony it was. But so was mine. We’d been starving.
She closed her eyes, and her magic swelled on the air. It smelled of fresh laundry, something that made my eyes tear up for my mother.
But nothing happened.
She squeezed her eyes tighter, her magic straining, the scent strengthening.
But still, nothing happened.
Finally, she opened her eyes. “I’m not strong enough to take you both. I’m only partway through my training.”
Darkness filled my chest. “Then go. Save yourself. Maybe you can send our parents back to get us.”
“No.” Her voice was hard as a rock. “Look around. There will be no way to find this place. You have to come with me.”
“How? What will we do?”
Her gaze moved between the two of us, darkness flaring in her eyes. “Something terrible and grand.”
“What is it?” Nix asked.
“I’ve seen my mother do it to perform great magic. Greater than she is capable of. You have to try to give me your power. Push it toward me so that I can use it to fuel my own and take you with me.”
“That’s not possible.” I’d never heard of that. It sounded sort of like a FireSoul’s magic, but not the same.
“It is for me. For my family. But it isn’t free. No magic is free. You will lose something. Power, knowledge, your memory. I don’t know what, but if you do this, you will be changed.”
Her gaze was so serious. I looked behind, at the dune that now blocked the mansion with the dungeon. Memories of my time there welled in my mind. I didn’t mind giving that up.
And if it was worse, if I gave up my magic or something else, it’d still be worth it.
“I’m in,” I said.
“Me too,” Nix said.
Del grasped our hands again and closed her eyes. “Envision your magic as light or sound or whatever feels natural and push it toward me.”
I did as she said, envisioning my power as a golden light that I collected into a ball and shoved toward her. It didn’t work at first. My magic was sticky, wanting to cling to me. But I forced it anyway, trying to give everything I had.
The scent of the other girl’s magic surged on the air. Flowers. I kept my eyes squeezed tightly closed, forcing my magic toward my friend. It felt unnatural and wrong, but it was our only hope.
Energy crackled in the air. My skin tingled, as if thousands of tiny bubbles popped against my flesh. A dull noise filled my ears, and the light in front of my closed eyelids glowed brighter.
“Keep going.” The dark-haired girl’s voice was strained.
I shoved my magic toward her harder, desperately trying to help. We had to get out of here. Something tore deep inside of me, like my soul. It was my root power, I realized. If I kept going, I’d lose it.
But I couldn’t stay here. This was our only way out, and I trusted Del. I pushed harder, urging my magic toward her.
An explosion rent the air, a noise so loud that my ears rang with it. Light flared, then everything went black. Something pulled at my body, dragging me through space and the ether until I was flung to the ground.
Pain exploded and my mind went black.
“Cass! Cass, wake up!”
Aidan’s voice dragged me from the darkness. My head throbbed, and my throat was dry as the desert. I felt him unclip the seatbelt at my waist and lift me into his arms. The world spun as he carried me.
When the soft bed appeared beneath
my back, I manage to pry my eyes open. I winced. Though the light was low, it still hurt my head.
“What happened?” I croaked.
“Hang on.” Aidan left the room, but returned a moment later with a glass of water and a wet cloth.
Gingerly, he sat on the bed and laid the cool towel over my head. Immediately, some of the pain disappeared and I sighed.
“You passed out and started shaking, like you were having a seizure. You scared the hell out of me.” Aidan looked seriously worried, his brow drawn and his eyes frightened.
“I had to know about my past.”
“I know.” He sighed. “That’s what your locket is for. We’re going to your home. Be patient. Don’t hurt yourself by running into a wall.”
“I can’t be patient. The demons are appearing more frequently. My magic is failing. I’m a time bomb.”
“You aren’t. And even if your magic fails, I’m here to protect you.”
“I want to protect myself.”
“I know.” His voice sobered. “It’s one of the things I like about you. But you have friends to help you when you’re down.”
“I know.” My dream flashed in my mind. “I do. I’ve had them for a long time. I remembered how I lost my memories.”
“Sit up and take this painkiller first, then tell me.” Gently, he helped me sit up against the pillows. Every muscle in my body ached, as if I’d actually just finished running through the desert. Or had a seizure.
I took the pill he handed me and gulped it down with cool water, then pushed my tangled hair away from my face.
“I really had a seizure?” I asked.
“Looked like it.”
“I pushed at my memories until I passed out. But then I remembered what I wanted to.”
“While seizing.”
“Yeah. It’s not a great method, I admit. But I did remember.” I told him about our escape from Victor Orriodor’s lair. About how Del was more than a regular transporter. About the fact that Del and Nix had also chosen their true names back in the field when we’d been fifteen. We’d thought we’d named ourselves for the stars, when in reality, these had been our names all along. And finally, that’d I’d lost my power when Del had helped us escape.
