by Stuart Woods
“Whatever.”
“All right, here’s how it went,” Stone said.
“You better start at the beginning, so we don’t have to go backwards.”
“All right; this guy showed up in my office, sent by Woodman and Weld.” Stone began to take Dino, blow by blow, through what had happened since he’d arrived in London. He got as far as the explosion at the antiques market when dinner arrived. The waiter served it and left.
When he had gone, Stone continued with the events at the Farm Street house. When he got to the dinner of the night before, he stopped, not wanting to talk about Sarah or Arrington.
“So,” Dino said, “how’s Sarah? How’s Arrington?”
“How did you know Arrington was here?”
“She called me a few days ago, said she was headed to London and how were you?”
“Why didn’t she call me?”
“I guess she did, and you weren’t there, so she called me. She’s buying an apartment in New York.”
“I heard.”
“So tell me about Sarah and Arrington, and how you’re keeping them both happy.”
Stone did the best he could.
“So Arrington is on her way to New York?”
“Right.”
“And Sarah is filthy rich, having knocked off her boyfriend?”
“She didn’t knock him off, it was an accident; I was there.”
“Sure, like Arrington didn’t knock off Vance Calder.”
“You don’t really think she did that, do you?”
“Nobody’s proved to me that she didn’t.”
“Dino, you’re a very suspicious person, do you know that?”
“It’s useful in my work; and if I weren’t a suspicious person, somebody would have knocked you off by now.”
“You’re probably right,” Stone admitted. Dino had gotten him out of the soup more than once.
“You know what I think?” Dino said, pushing back from the table.
“What?”
“I think I’m going to bed. I hear jet lag is a bitch if you don’t get any sleep.”
“So, you’re going to bed without having solved any of my problems?”
“You betcha.” He got up, went to the door of his room, and opened it. “I’ll do that tomorrow.” He closed the door.
“Christ, I wish somebody would,” Stone said.
41
DINO WALKED INTO STONE’S ROOM AT 6:30 A.M., in his pajamas, whistling loudly. “Up and at ’em!” he shouted.
Stone groaned, rolled over, and pulled a pillow over his head.
“Don’t you want to brush your teeth before breakfast?” Dino asked, ripping the covers off Stone.
“No,” Stone replied, trying vainly to get the covers back.
“That’s disgusting,” Dino said. “You can’t eat breakfast without brushing your teeth; it’s unsanitary.”
Stone peeped out from under the pillow. “What breakfast? I haven’t ordered breakfast.”
There was a sharp rap on the door.
“That breakfast,” Dino said, opening the door and admitting the waiter.
Stone went and brushed his teeth; when he returned, an elaborate breakfast had been laid out.
Dino handed him a large glass of orange juice. “Come on, wake up.”
Stone took the orange juice. “This must be what it’s like to be married.”
“Are you kidding?” Dino asked. “The day you get married is the last day you’ll ever get breakfast in bed.”
“I’m not in bed,” Stone said, sipping the orange juice.
“Close enough. What’s your plan for the day?”
“I’m planning for you to solve all my problems,” Stone said.
“Okay, I can do that. Not Arrington, of course, or Sarah; you’ll have to handle those yourself, though of course, I’ll be there with lots of advice.”
“I’d rather not hear it,” Stone said, digging into his scrambled eggs.
“Man, these are really terrific eggs,” Dino said. “How do they get them like this?”
“I asked about that,” Stone replied. “Seems they cook them very slowly, with a lot of butter, in a saucepan, not a skillet, and they serve them on a hot plate, very soft, since they continue to cook on the plate.”
“No kidding? I’ll have to get Mary Ann to do them that way.”
“Lots of luck. Your wife doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman who would spend the early moments of her morning making you English scrambled eggs.”
“Who would have thought the English could cook?”
“Someone, I think it was George Bernard Shaw, once said that you could eat very well in England, as long as you have breakfast three times a day.” Stone was waking up now.
Dino laughed. “I gotta remember that one.”
“Don’t bother; it isn’t true anymore; the Brits cook very well indeed these days. Okay, how are you going to solve all my problems?”
“I slept on your problems,” Dino said, “and I think you can best solve them by leaving London and going back to New York. That would remove you from the evil influence of the people around you in this town.”
“They aren’t all evil,” Stone replied.
“No? Name me one person you know in London that you can prove not to be evil.”
“They’re innocent until proven guilty,” Stone said.
“Only in a court of law; in the court of my law, every fucking one of them is guilty of something.”
“Demonstrate, please.”
“Okay, let’s take Bartholomew: Do you have any doubt that he’s an evil son of a bitch?”
Stone thought about it for a moment. “No,” he said, “none.”
“And you’re working for him. How about Lance?”
“Well, I think he may be mixed up in those two murders; and maybe a lot more, as well.”
“Same for Sarah, except it’s just one murder,” Dino said. “Who’s left?”
“Well, there’s Erica and Monica, the sisters.”
“Okay, I guess there have to be some innocent bystanders, but I’m not going to count on it.”
“And there’s Arrington.”
“Arrington doesn’t count; she’s not in London.”
“And Throckmorton.”
“Throckmorton wants you to spend the rest of your life in an English prison, where they don’t have toilets. How evil is that?”
“He doesn’t believe for a moment that I killed those two men.”
“He doesn’t care,” Dino said. “He just wants to clear these two killings; it doesn’t make him look good for bodies to turn up in his nice, green park. If he can blame you, he’s home free.”
Stone thought for a moment. “They don’t have toilets in English prisons?”
“No, they were all built before they had plumbing; you have to shit in a bucket and do God-knows-what with it.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“My very point; it’s why, among other reasons, you don’t want to go to jail over here.”
“So what is your solution to dealing with all this evil?”
“I told you: get out of town. You don’t owe these people anything.”
“I can’t; Throckmorton has my passport. Yesterday, when I tried to see Arrington at the airport, two of his goons dragged me out of the place.”
“I’ll talk to him,” Dino said. “If I can get your passport back, will you get out of here right away?”
Stone thought about that. “Maybe. But I have to admit, I’m pretty curious about what’s going on. You have any thoughts about that?”
“Let’s take these people one at a time, in reverse order of evilness,” Dino said. “Monica: She just has a business here, and she’s probably not involved. Erica: She may not be involved; she just wants to follow Lance around like a puppy, and she doesn’t give a fuck what he’s done or what he’s doing. Sarah: If there were any justice, she’d be shitting in a bucket in an English prison, instead of collecting a huge inheritance. Ali and S
heila: They’re in business with Lance, so they’re just as evil as he is. That leaves us with Lance and Hedger, who are so obviously evil that it’s hardly worth discussing.”
“I want to know what it is that Lance and Hedger actually do that’s so evil.”
“Well, Hedger, for a start, killed that retired cop Bobby Jones.”
“He just had him beaten up—not that that’s a good thing.”
“He’s dead,” Dino said. “Died of his injuries. Throckmorton told me on the phone; that’s one of the reasons he’s so pissed off with you.”
“Oh, God,” Stone moaned. “I didn’t know; nobody told me.”
“So that makes Hedger a murderer; Throckmorton wants him for Jones, but I get the impression that his investigation is being impeded by somebody in the British government.”
“You two had quite a little heart-to-heart, didn’t you?” Stone asked. “Why hasn’t he told me any of this? He’s certainly had the opportunity.”
“Because he doesn’t trust you, dummy; you work for Hedger, don’t you? He’d like to have Hedger shitting in a bucket somewhere and you for an accessory. Jones and his buddy Cricket were apparently two of Throckmorton’s favorite people.”
“Jesus, I’m never going to get out of this country,” Stone said.
“That’s a possibility,” Dino agreed. “What we’ve got to do is find out what’s going on here, so we can tell Throckmorton, and then he can lock up the perpetrators, except for you.”
“Hedger is my client; I can’t help lock him up.”
“What’s the matter, don’t you enjoy putting away bad guys anymore? Where’s the cop in you?”
“He’s still there, but so is the lawyer.”
Dino sighed. “You’re hopeless.”
42
DINO WENT TO GET DRESSED, AND Stone shaved and showered. He was tying his tie when the satellite phone rang.
“It’s Hedger.”
“Good morning.”
“You said you’d have a list of the people at table twelve.”
“Right, let me get it.” Stone retrieved the list, the only fruit of his aborted dinner with Arrington. “Want me to read you the names?”
“Yes.”
Stone did so.
“It’s the Israeli cultural attaché,” Hedger said.
“Why do you think so?”
“Because the governments of Sweden, Australia, Germany, and Belgium do not usually participate in kidnapping innocent Americans off the streets of London. But I wouldn’t put it past the Israelis. What’s his name?”
Stone consulted the list. “David Beth Alachmy.”
“Holy shit.”
“Do you know him?”
“Just of him; he’s very smart, very tough. And his very presence in London means that he’s the new chief of station for the Mossad, the Israeli intelligence service. He’s so new in town that my people didn’t know yet.”
“Then the two ‘Greeks’ were Israelis?”
“Probably. You said you had a contact in the London police; why don’t you ask him?”
“He and I are not on cordial terms at the moment.”
“Why not?”
“He thinks I was involved in the murder of the two Israelis.”
“Why would he think that?”
“Because one of them was wearing my raincoat.”
“How the hell—”
“I took off the raincoat when I was doing my little survey of Lance Cabot’s house, and apparently when I left, I picked up the wrong coat. The murderer dressed one of the two corpses in mine.”
“Oh, swell, now you’ve come to the attention of the local police.”
“You could say that.”
“That greatly reduces your value to me.”
“You expect me to feel guilty about that? Let me remind you that I came to their attention while trying to get information for you.”
“In the old days, we’d have just shot you; as it is, I’ll have to fire you.”
“As you wish—you’ll recall that I’ve already resigned once.”
“This time let’s make it permanent; I can’t have anything more to do with you.”
“I’m afraid you’re going to be stuck with a continuing hotel bill.”
“Why is that? As far as I’m concerned, you can get on the next airplane out of here.”
“Not at the moment; the police have taken my passport. When I went to the airport yesterday to, ah, see off a friend, they dragged me out and sent me back to the Connaught.”
“Well, as far as I’m concerned, pal, you’re on your own.”
“You can discuss it with the accounting department at Woodman and Weld,” Stone said. “And while you’re at it, remember that I’ve been on double my hourly rate for a while.”
“Not anymore; as I said, you’re fired.” Hedger hung up.
Dino came into the room, dressed. “Who was that?”
“Hedger; when he heard the police were interested in me, he fired me.”
“Well, I hope you don’t still feel any loyalty to him.”
“He’s not my client anymore.”
“So fuck him and the horse he rode in on.”
“Yep.”
“Let’s call Throckmorton and tell him who beat up Bobby Jones.”
“He already knows Hedger was behind it; Ted Cricket would have told him; he just can’t prove that Hedger sicced the hoods onto Jones.”
“Oh. Well, what are you going to do today?”
“I don’t know; what were you going to do?”
“I was going to follow you around at a safe distance, to see if anybody else was following you.”
“Good idea; I guess I’d better go somewhere.”
“Got any ideas?”
“Why don’t I take Lance Cabot to lunch?”
“Someplace good, I hope.”
Stone picked up the phone and called Lance’s number.
Erica answered. “Oh, hello, Stone,” she said brightly. “How are you?”
“Very well, thanks; is Lance there?”
“Sure, just a minute.”
“Good morning, Stone,” Lance said.
“Good morning; are you free for lunch today?”
“Sure; where?”
“The Connaught grill, at twelve-thirty?”
“See you then.”
Stone hung up.
“What do you hope to accomplish by having lunch with him?” Dino asked.
“A few days ago, he tried to bring me into some sort of business deal; I blew him off at the time, but now I feel more receptive. Also, it will give you a good look at Lance; I’ll get you a table, too.” He called downstairs and made the reservations.
Stone arrived in the grill on time; Dino was already seated a couple of tables away from his own; Lance showed up five minutes later.
“Well, what’s up?” Lance asked, after they had ordered lunch.
“Last weekend, you asked me to do some legal work for you in New York.”
“Yes, but you weren’t interested; I accept that.”
“Now I’m interested.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I have some time on my hands here. I won’t do the legal work myself, but I’ll give you the name of a man who can handle it. I’m more interested in participating in the business end of the, ah, transaction.”
“You mean you want a piece of the action?”
“If I like the action.”
“I assume you’d be willing to make an investment?”
“That depends on what the deal is and how big an investment you want.”
“Could you come up with a quarter of a million dollars?”
“If I were sufficiently motivated.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
Lance laughed. “I’m not sure that I know everything.”
“Let’s start with what you know.”
“All right; I propose to buy some items in England o
r elsewhere in Europe and sell them to someone in another part of the world for a large profit.”
“How much will you pay for them and what will you sell them for?”
“I expect to pay in the region of half a million dollars for these items, and I expect to sell them for around two million, maybe a bit more.”
“That is a very nice profit indeed. And exactly what are the items?”
“I’m not at liberty to tell you just yet.”
“You understand that I will be unwilling to make the investment until I know?”
“Of course; I don’t think you’re a fool, Stone.”
“Can you give me a general idea?”
“Let’s just say that the goods are of a scientific nature, and that the buyers are lovers of science.”
“Are Ali and Sheila part of this deal?”
“A very important part. They will act as liaison between the sellers and the buyers.”
“Why can’t you do it yourself?”
“Let’s just say that I’m of the wrong nationality, ethnicity, and religion. Ali and Sheila are critical to the success of the transaction.”
Stone took a card from his wallet and wrote a name and telephone number on the back of it. “This is a lawyer in New York who will handle your legal work. But for the record, this is the only part of the transaction that I will ever admit taking part in—a simple reference.”
“I quite understand.”
“Apart from the nature of the goods and the name of the buyer, I will require a means of making my share of the profit bankable and spendable, without attracting the attention of any government agency anywhere.”
“I quite understand. I have such an arrangement already in place, and you may avail yourself of it.”
“When will this happen, and when can you tell me more about it?”
“Once I give the go-ahead, it will take only two or three days to conclude the transaction. The items in question have already been manufactured and will be transported as soon as I transfer the funds to the maker. How soon can you produce your quarter of a million?”
“What do you mean by ‘produce’? Where and when?”
“I mean wire-transfer the funds to an offshore bank, which I will specify.”
“As soon as I know all the details of what you’re delivering and to whom. The funds are currently in a money market fund, awaiting investment. All it will take for delivery is a coded fax to my broker.”
