I forced myself out of Levi’s arms. He couldn’t protect me. I lifted my hand and sent light down on the shadow the same way Malcolm and I had the day before when we’d taken out the shadows in Levi’s office. He didn’t even flinch.
“I’m afraid, my dear, that isn’t going to affect me anymore. Every day I get stronger and stronger. Light isn’t going to kill me—not any you can manage to make in your kitchen, anyway. But I am here to offer you an option. You love him. Die for him instead.”
Behind him a light flashed, and for just a second I could see Rafael in the stream. Top Hat didn’t notice. I waited to see if something would happen, and when it didn’t, I decided I was really nuts. Why would Rafael show up to help? He never had before. The disappointment riding me had no place even existing.
“She isn’t going to die for Malcolm.” Levi spoke through gritted teeth. “Go away. You don’t belong here.”
He walked toward us. “Oh yes. Your little, unpowerful man. Maybe I should touch him again.”
I put my hand out in front of me. “Leave Levi alone.”
“Mom,” Grayson called from upstairs. “I can’t find my shoes.”
“Levi.” Utter terror clawed at me. “Go stop the kids. Do not let them down here. Please. Go. Now.”
He nodded and didn’t argue. When it came to the safety of the children, he and I were always on the same page. Levi ran past the shadow and up the stairs. I could count on the children not coming down into this mess.
Whatever else he was, Levi was a great father. He’d keep them safe. Always.
“Why do you want me to die for him? Afraid he’s going to kill you?”
He laughed. “No. I’m going to kill him. But dealing with you for the next decade while I systematically destroy everyone you love is going to be troublesome and time-consuming. I’d rather spend time doing other things. If you die, it’ll destroy him. It will get two birds with one stone, so to speak. I’m offering you a chance. I know you think his life is important. How important is it to you?”
The room rocked, everything in it shaking like we’d had an earthquake. I fell over a second before all of my pictures came off the wall. A bright light the likes of which I had never seen before filled the open space. It was warm—like a bath after a long day—and it engulfed me into nothingness.
I came to on the ground. I was alone in the living room. I could hear the kids upstairs and Levi ordering them to their rooms. My father sounded frantic, but Levi wouldn’t let him come either.
Above me, Rafael stood staring down. I blinked to see if he’d vanish. “Hello.”
“Kendall.”
“What just happened?” The light was gone and so was Top Hat. “Did you kill him?”
“I wish I could have.” His face was serious—well, even more serious than usual. “I sent him away for a long nap. When he comes to, he’ll be angry, and that won’t be good for anyone.”
I struggled to my feet but managed to get up. I hated looking weak in front of the Others. “Why did you do it?”
“I broke a rule.” His answer didn’t actually relate to my question. “You won’t see me again. Not while you’re living. Michael and Gabriel will still be around. My days of being able to visit are over. That will be the price I will enact on myself.”
My stomach clenched. “I don’t understand.”
“You will see me again, Kendall Madison. When your time here is done. Not until then.”
I hardly knew Rafael in comparison to the other two. Yet tears streamed down my face. He’d always been there. Silently stewing and disapproving. But there.
“I watched you when you were a baby. In utero. I watched your mother. Your grandmother. Generations of your family until there was you.” He touched me. I almost flinched away from the contact. Other than giving me the light powers, which I strongly suspected had been meant for Chelsea, I didn’t think Rafael had ever touched me before. I forced myself still. “All of it, until there was you. Quiet, pleasing, talented, kind, and brave. Nine-years-old and you crawled to Malcolm’s side while you bled to death. It haunts me. We should have let you move on. That should have been your reward. The very people we needed were those worthy enough to be left alone.”
I let him squeeze my hand. “You gave us a choice.”
“We knew what your answers would be. Scared children and an alternative to death? You’ve seen Michael’s true face. You know we are not as we seem to you now. We are so old. To manipulate a nine-year-old was as easy as anything we’ve ever done. My time grows short. Kendall, shadows are not to be trusted. You live in the light. You do not make deals with evil things. I could see it in your eyes; you considered his offer. Do not do such a thing again. I do apologize.”
I wiped away a tear. “For what?”
“For Michael’s temper. He’s going to take his anger at me out on you. You know he blows hard, loud, and then it goes away.” The Other named Rafael, whom I knew so little, winked at me. “Goodnight, Kendall. I’ll see you in the dawn.”
As quickly as he’d appeared, he was gone. And my world was so much colder.
Somehow, on autopilot, I got the kids to school and Levi out of my house. He was frantic, and I couldn’t blame him, but I couldn’t comfort him just then. Sometimes I simply can’t be available emotionally for anyone else. Outside of my children, the people in my life had to deal with that fact or get out of the way. Levi had never been very good at understanding the need for aloneness when it came upon me.
He was scared I’d agreed to die for Malcolm. Since he certainly had a history to call upon to know I lied sometimes, convincing him I’d not done it had been an exhausting undertaking.
I sunk to the floor of my house and dialed. My hands shook as I pushed the buttons. “Victoria.” I cleared my throat. “Did I wake you? Were you sleeping?”
“I have an infant. I don’t sleep. Why are you crying?” She went from laughing to serious in two seconds flat. “What happened?”
“Can I come over?”
“Yes. Do you need me to come there?”
I closed my eyes. “No. I think I need to be out of this space and someplace else.”
“Don’t even ask; just come.”
I couldn’t call Malcolm. He’d want to fix things. He’d go out of his mind that the shadow showed and made me an offer. He wouldn’t care what Rafael had done or the sacrifice he’d made for me. As far as Malcolm was concerned, the Others weren’t much better than the shadows. He had no time for any of them. But I’d seen something in Rafael’s eyes I knew very well. He looked at me like my father did. Like I gazed at my children.
And he’d broken laws bigger than I could fathom to help me not make a mistake. I wiped my eyes. I wanted the shadows dead. Only first, I needed a good sob, a laugh with my best friend, and a little time breathing the same air as an infant. All three were cure-alls for me.
Chapter Thirteen
Baby Jack smelled fresh and new. Twenty minutes in his presence, coupled with Victoria’s special blend of tea—which may or may not have St. John’s Wart in it—and I felt much better.
Henry sat next to me at the kitchen table, grinning at his wife. “So, Kendall, I hear we’re going to be cellphone buddies. I’m still waiting for my text messages.”
I picked up my phone and texted him. You smell.
He laughed when his phone beeped. “Seriously, I’m always here for you, too. You’re our family.”
I’d told them all about the morning with Levi, Malcolm, Top Hat, and eventually Rafael. They hadn’t said much because, really, what was there to say? One of the Others had done something very dramatic for me. I had to live with his sacrifice and figure out why he’d done it to begin with. Both Mary and Chelsea had died. Nothing had been done to stop that. Why interfere when it came to me? Did it only have to do with my walking around with the lightbringer abilities, or was it really all connected to Malcolm?
I rubbed my eyes.
“If we get nothing else out of this, noth
ing at all, then we know Top Hat isn’t going to die by normal means. Malcolm can’t beat him just dueling with normal energy. He’s going to lose. There’s not even a chance.”
I texted Malcolm a quick note. Need to see you. I’m at Victoria’s.
Victoria took my hand and squeezed it. “You’re not going to like what I have to say.”
“Great. What a way to start a conversation.” I sipped my happy tea. “Have at it.”
She made eye contact with Henry and then nodded. “I’m not surprised Rafael did what he did for you. Not at all, actually.”
“Because they gave me the lightbringing stuff that would have gone to Chelsea if she hadn’t died.”
Henry snorted. “Frustrating girl you are, Kendall. Chelsea was never getting the lightbringing stuff. She’s lucky Michael didn’t chuck her out of the program and send her soul on its way. I don’t know if he could have. She was weak and sad. I liked her; we all did. Only you thought her kindness was some kind of benefit. I guess she was nice enough. I found her burdensome. Look, we all have powers. Mine are to block entrance into and out of spaces. Bad energy doesn’t get in. Ghosts stay away. I can also crush energy. Pop. Whatever’s in the space, bye-bye.”
“I haven’t seen you do that alive. Only over there, with the Others.”
He shrugged. “I haven’t had to. My crushing abilities take some time. I would do it in a heartbeat if I was alone and found a room filled with baddies. I won’t do it with you or anyone else present. There’s a chance it’ll pops your brain too. Like a giant pressure cooker.”
I set down my tea. “Great image, thanks.”
“The point is”—Victoria glared at Henry—“we find it very unlikely Chelsea was ever going to be given these abilities. They were always yours. Because you were special. Part of what makes you special is that you have no idea you’re special. Rafael did what he did—broke the rules and is now punishing himself for it—because it was you, Kendall. I get it. Okay?”
“No.” I stood, needing to move. “I’m not special. I’m very ordinary in terms of this group, actually. Malcolm can move things with his mind. I can send on ghosts. I can get rid of demons. I could do all those things before I died. The only new ability I’ve acquired since coming back from the dead was the lightbringing, and I’m not even going to be strong enough to manage to get rid of Top Hat. If I can’t, then Malcolm really can’t because he doesn’t move light as well as I do. So stop Mary Sue-ing me. I’m not the answer to everyone’s prayers. Trust me on that.”
Henry looked between us. “What does that mean? That phrase you used?”
Victoria threw her hands in the air. “Leave it to Kendall to get out of having to take a compliment so that we all have to feel weird for having given her one. A Mary Sue is a woman in any story medium who comes across as perfect, everyone loves them, and they save the day. So let me reassure you, Kendall, you are not a Mary Sue. You’re selfish except with your kids. You are making Malcolm and Levi crazy. I wanted to throttle you for years for not knowing me. I doubt very much you can save any of us from anything. And even if you could, you question it so badly you can’t see the forest for the trees. Rafael gave you a gift. He stopped you from making a mistake. Use it.”
Having delivered her speech, she sat and sipped her own tea. From his little sleep basket on the floor, Jack cooed. We all turned to look at him, and Victoria grinned. “See? Even Jack agrees. You’re being a pain in the ass.”
My phone buzzed. In meetings till four. Could meet you then. Or you could come meet me.
Sounds good. Where?
Levi had the kids. I was free for the evening. My big plans had involved obsessing over things and doing laundry.
He texted me an address. I saved it on my phone. “I guess I’m going to get going.”
My phone buzzed again, and I looked down. Had he forgotten something? This time it wasn’t Malcolm but Chase who texted. Could use some help. Might be a good idea for you to check out who my shadow followers are too. Can you spare a few hours?
I grinned. As it turns out, I’m free. Not meeting Malcolm until 4. Can you come get me at Victoria’s?
Done. On my way.
“Chase is coming to get me. He needs help.”
Victoria drummed her fingers on the table. “You can’t go out like that. Coming to my house in your pajama pants is one thing. But Chase is bound to get you killed, and then you’ll haunt the streets of Austin in those pants for the rest of your life. Upstairs. I have some things that will fit you.”
I wasn’t sure how or why she had anything I could get into. Victoria was tiny; she’d bounced back after pregnancy like she’d never put on any weight. I’d never been her size zero. It turned out she had some things with elastic waists, and soon I was dressed head to toe in black. The pants were fairly standard; I had three similar pieces in my closet. But the shirt was something else entirely. I didn’t often put on halter tops because sexy didn’t usually help me get anything done. This was loose, not tight, and cotton. I felt kind of flowy in it.
I shoved my feet in shoes slightly too small for me that were somewhere between clogs and sandals. Victoria had at my hair before she shoved me out the door to Chase. I guessed I was put together well enough I could see Malcolm without needing to change into something more appropriate to meet him.
I climbed into Chase’s car with Victoria’s little speech from earlier ringing in my ears. She didn’t think I could save any of them and, even if I could, I was being too stubborn to see it. Was that true?
I couldn’t make the kind of light Rafael had. I couldn’t …
“Hey. Thanks for helping me. I really need a girl on this job. I have a woman who helps me a lot. Another PI. But she’s on her honeymoon. And actually you’re perfect for it. You’ll be just his type.”
I put my hand on his arm. “I think you’d better back up. What am I doing?”
“You’re helping me with a job. Woman is looking for her husband. He ran off with twenty million dollars from her family’s trust account. This man, the SOB’s best friend, is going to tell you where he is.”
“Have you hit your head? Why would he tell me where his missing best friend went?” I had a lot of powers, but that was not one of them. “You have the best chance of making someone talk. You can get in their head.”
Chase shook his head. “I can’t get in someone’s head like that. I can make them feel better, ease their pain, make them temporarily run for their lives. I can’t read their thoughts or get them to talk to me.”
My ears rang. I gripped my forehead. “Ouch.”
He eyed me sideways. “What?”
“I sometimes know things. Remember, the Others screwed with my brain. You’re able to manipulate people into talking. You can do that. You just haven’t yet.”
My friend snorted. “Good to know. Doesn’t help us today. I’m not going to practice on this man when there is so much money on the line.”
“Amazing you are still running a business. I am lucky if I get my house cleaned.” There was a layer of dust I’d never get off. My dust had dust. I used to be really proud of my living conditions. These days it was downright pathetic.
Chase shrugged. “You haven’t seen my house. It’s a bed, a couch, and a fridge. This is what I do to relax. Anyway, this is good old-fashioned trick-the-idiot day. And I’m being kind calling him an idiot. He’s also a drug dealer, and he ran out on his own wife and kids five years ago. Thinks he’s a big deal because the local underworld, which isn’t much here in Austin, knows him.”
“Seems like a charming fellow.” I stretched out my legs. “What am I going to do for him?”
“You’re going to feed him drinks, sit on his lap, bat your eyes. You’re going to do completely not paranormal things. Then you’re to do that feminine thing where you get answers.”
“Um.” I burst out laughing. Once I started, I couldn’t seem to stop. Eventually, I had to stick my head between my legs to catch my breath.
; “Hey.” Chase shoved my arm. “What’s funny? Whatever it is, it can’t be that funny.”
I wiped tears of joy from my eyes. “Chase, I don’t have the slightest idea how to do the ‘feminine things’ you want from me. I don’t do that. I have three children. I’m not sitting on some asshat’s lap. We’ll get answers but not because I make a jackass out of myself in the bar.”
“He responds very well to feminine attention. I’ve been watching him for weeks.”
I forced my humor back down. Chase needed my help; he was going to get it. “Okay. We’ll get him to talk.”
“How? Because I’ve been watching him for weeks, and I haven’t come up with any ideas on making him talk other than the sexy-girl-in-the-bar routine.”
“I’m a girl who talks to ghosts. We’ll get you the information you need. Where did the scumbag who ran off with the money live?”
Half an hour later, I stood with Chase inside a central Austin, single-story, newly-renovated ranch house listening to him make small talk with his client. He didn’t really need to know if she’d heard from her ex. There was no way the man had run off with her money and then called to say hello.
I stepped away from them, heading toward the energy I felt in the kitchen. Ghosting wasn’t an exact science. One thing could be counted on: negative energy drew the paranormal more frequently than its opposite. I could guess that no one had been really happy in this house. All the furnishings were new, but the ghost in the kitchen seemed decidedly old.
Dressed like someone out of the civil war, the dead woman regarded me with her eyebrow raised.
I pointed to her. “Corsets must have been a bitch.”
She pointed right at me. “I haven’t done anything, not one thing in my years of not being alive, to warrant a visit from someone like you. I have never done anything to them. They don’t even know I’m here.”
“You’re pretty coherent. Most ghosts mutter or make little sense. You’ve been around for a long time to still be so chatty.”
Phoenix Everlasting_A Paranormal Romance Series Page 15
