by Daniels, Viv
ONE & ONLY
Canton, Book 1
By Viv Daniels
One & Only
Copyright © 2013 by Viv Daniels
All rights reserved.
Cover design: Sarah Hansen
Photo credit: @Couperfield
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. This ebook is licensed for your own personal use. It may not be resold or given away to other people. If you wish to share this book with others, please purchase a copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents, are products of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual people, places, or events is coincidental or fictionalized.
For all the fans of
Secret Society Girl
ONE
I was six years old when I found out my father had another family. I knew he didn’t live with my mom and me, but that wasn’t so unusual in my neighborhood. He came by a few times a week and always got me presents on my birthday and Christmas. Whenever he visited, he gave me money for ice cream at the corner store. I was too young to understand he just wanted me out of the apartment. That time, though, I was taking a nap when he arrived. I woke up and heard him in the bedroom with my mom, so I thought I’d fetch the ice cream money from the wallet myself. His wallet had pictures in it. Pictures of him and a blonde woman and a little blonde girl about my age. There weren’t any pictures of Mom and me.
There were rules I knew I had to follow. Like how I wasn’t supposed to say “that’s my daddy” if I ever saw him outside of the apartment or if his picture appeared in the newspaper. When I had my appendix out at eight, he didn’t come to visit, though the wing of the hospital I stayed in had his name on it. But he paid for my braces and my clothes and the babysitter he’d hired to watch me that time he took my mom to the Caribbean.
When I was fourteen, I saw my sister again. I was on the track team that year, and we had a meet at her school, across town. I was walking back to the bus to grab my backpack while I waited for my next event, and came across a tennis meet going on, too. I wouldn’t have been able to pick her out of the group of slim, tan, blonde girls on the court, except I saw my father in the stands. He was shouting her name—Hannah—and cheering. Every time she scored a point, she’d preen in his direction. I folded my fingers through the diamond links of the fence separating the path from the court and watched her play. She was way better at tennis than I’d ever be at sprints or hurdles or whatever other event the coach assigned me to. But Dad hadn’t been there when I won the county science fair in the fall, either.
If Dad saw me near the court that day, I never guessed. But it wasn’t long after that that my mother reminded me of the truth. “You need to be more careful.”
“Huh?” I said, mouth full of spaghetti, head full of my Algebra II problem set.
“It’s only natural to be curious about…her. You think I haven’t wanted to see myself?”
Her? “You mean Dad’s other daughter?” Or his wife?
“But we can’t. This apartment doesn’t pay for itself. Neither does the food you eat or the clothes you wear.” Mom’s art didn’t pay for it either. Sometimes, when she was in between commissions, she worked at clothing stores or as a secretary. Never for long, though. Whenever it got in the way of her latest project, the whole grind of a 9-to-5 gig killed her creativity, and Dad always stepped in. “Steven has been really good to us. He doesn’t have to be.”
“Actually, he does,” I replied with all the surety a fourteen-year-old girl could muster. “It’s the law.”
“The law wouldn’t give us half of what he does on his own, Tess,” my mother scoffed. “He helps us because he loves us. He loves you. You’re his daughter.”
I thought about the way Dad had cheered Hannah on at the tennis match. Dad was my father in this apartment. Nowhere else. I hardly even looked like him. I looked like Mom, with her dark hair and pointy chin and figure like a Hollywood star out of an old black-and-white movie. Only my eyes were Swift—large and bright, with that indeterminate color that wasn’t blue or gray or green or brown. When we’d studied genetics in Biology, my lab partner had been stumped until our teacher told him to put down “hazel.”
“We owe him a lot, Tess. And if we hurt him, we’ll lose everything else.”
***
I didn’t understand what that meant until three years later, when I got accepted to Canton University. Dad’s alma mater. All the Swifts’ actually, for nearly a hundred years. Like the hospital where I got my appendix out, it had buildings bearing his name. It also had one of the best bioengineering departments in the country—thanks to a generous endowment by Canton Chemicals, one of the few businesses in the town that my dad didn’t have his fingers in—and they wanted me.
I figured Dad would be proud. Even if we had to keep it secret, I was following in his footsteps.
“Canton?” he’d said when he came to the apartment the week after I got my letter of acceptance. “I don’t understand. Did you get a scholarship?”
“No.” Something very cold starting winding its way through my belly. “I figured with loans and—”
“I don’t like the idea of you going into debt for your schooling, Tess,” he said. My mother beamed and squeezed his arm. “Tell you what I’ll do. If you go to State and take that ‘bright futures scholarship’ they give kids with your SAT scores, I’ll pay for everything else. Room, board, books—whatever.”
“Oh, Steven!” my mother gasped and laid her hand on his arm.
I looked at the Canton acceptance packet in my hand. The glossy cover was filled with pictures of smiling, happy students on the grassy quad, the soaring archways of the Swift Library, a kid practicing violin and another with safety goggles shielding her eyes as she filled a beaker with a glowing compound. The bioengineering department at Canton boasted a Cole Award winner, two recipients of a Sloan Fellowship, and a state-of-the-art lab. Graduates of the rigorous programs went on to top-tier medical schools and PhD programs. I’d researched the program at State, of course, since it was my back-up school. It was solid and respectable but not nearly so well-regarded, and I’d have to fight hordes of other students for the higher-level classes and access to the labs.
But Canton meant private school tuition. Even with loans, would I be able to swing something so pricey?
“What do you say, kid?”
“What if,” I began slowly, “we set aside that money to help with Canton tuition, instead? If I went to Canton, I could live here. That would save some money…”
Dad’s lips became a tight, sharp line, and his eyes looked like hard chips of granite. “That wasn’t what I said. I said, if you went to State, which is basically free, I’d pay for your living expenses. Provided you keep your grades up, of course.”
That wasn’t a question. My grades were always up.
When I didn’t say anything, he sighed and shook his head at me. “You always seemed like a really practical girl to me, Tess. I’m going to let you think it over for a bit. You sleep on it, okay? I know you’ll choose the right thing. State is the place you belong.”
I slept on it, as Dad asked, and more than that, I made up a detailed spreadsheet of the costs associated with each option. I was good at spreadsheets. Like he said, I’d always been a practical girl. But when I presented it to my mom the next morning, she barely glanced at the tallies I’d so painstakingly budgeted.
“Tess,” she said, shaking her head at me over her coffee cup. Over the years, her lipstick had left an indelible stain on the rim
. “You don’t understand. This isn’t money your father is giving you for college. It’s money he’s giving you to go to State.”
I pointed at a few figures. “But if you look here, you can see—”
Then my mom sighed, exactly as my father had. “Sweetie, it’s time you started to face some facts. You’re going to be eighteen next month, and your dad won’t be required to give you a cent, legally or otherwise.”
If Mom had hauled off and slapped me across the face, it wouldn’t have stung any more. And it must have shown on my face, too, since she softened things with her next words.
“I know you think the program at Canton is something special, but I also know that you’re an excellent student, and you can make your time at State work well, too. If you go to State, it’ll make your dad happy, and if you do really well there, it’ll make him proud. And maybe he’ll help with grad school or med school or whatever you want to do next.”
I looked down at my spreadsheets, aligned so neatly on top of the Canton acceptance package.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
I did. I’d understood when I was in the hospital at eight and had my braces off at twelve and stood outside that tennis court at fourteen. Steven Swift made the rules, and we played by them.
I chose State, and Dad wrote a check, but I didn’t think any of us were fooled. When I was the runner-up in the state science fair that year, my mom was there to cheer me on, but Dad didn’t even send flowers. When I was named a regional Siemens competition finalist, my name—Teresa McMann—appeared in a national newspaper, and though my mom had the page framed and hung in our hallway, I secretly hoped Dad wouldn’t notice—lest he say anything about the $3,000 scholarship that came with it.
He might not owe us anything anymore, but we still owed him everything.
TWO
The summer after high school graduation, I traveled away from home for the first time. Along with several hundred other teens, I’d received an invitation to spend three weeks studying at a science camp at Cornell. Three survey classes taught by real professors, space in the dorms, food in the dining hall—and all of it paid for by a grant for gifted and talented high school students who planned a career in the science and technology fields. Mom and I only had to cover spending money and airfare, and I had the Siemens money for that.
When I boarded the plane, I felt freer than I ever had in my life. We hadn’t had to ask my father for a single cent to pay for this trip, and that meant I didn’t need his permission to take it. I wasn’t sure what to expect from Cornell. High school had been neither the best nor the most traumatic experience teen movies had made it out to be. I had friends—a group of us had even gotten together and rented our own limo for a girls’ group to prom. I’d participated in the occasional slumber party my friend Sylvia would organize at her sister’s cramped apartment. But aside from Sylvia, I knew the girls I hung out with in high school weren’t lifelong friends. It was hard to make close friends when your whole life was a secret. And I’d never had a boyfriend or anything. I was “that science girl” to most of the kids in my class. But here, we were all the science ones. That was the point.
My roommate, Cristina, was a Puerto Rican biology major from Brooklyn. She had curly hair and eyelids painted to look like peacock tail feathers. “Dermatology or plastic surgery,” she said to me as soon as we exchanged names. “You?”
“Bioengineering?” I asked rather than said.
Her peacock eyes widened in appreciation. “Hardcore.”
I shrugged, as self-conscious as I’d ever been at those science fair presentations. “Well, I think there’s a lot science has done to wreck life. Maybe we can score some points for the good guys, too.”
“Look at you, all noble,” she said, smiling. “And here I’m just out to make people pretty.”
Cristina, I learned, was a lot more than eyeliner. She’d been a New York City Science Scholar, and her field of study was skin grafts for burn victims. But the makeup was no joke either. She’d worked for two years at a MAC counter in some department store in Manhattan she was shocked I hadn’t heard of. She was also staying at Cornell come fall. “In-state tuition, baby.”
“Yeah, I’m going to a state school, too.” It just wasn’t also an Ivy.
This was how most of the introductory conversations with the other campers went throughout orientation. We all had to report on what we were studying, what project had brought us here, what we were going to do with our futures, and where we were going to college. It seemed like everyone was headed off to Harvard or MIT or CalTech. I even heard a few Cantons in the mix. My practical, sensible side kept me from concocting an elaborate lie that I was going to Oxford, which turned out for the best, since I met a budding physicist who actually was. I retreated to the buffet.
“Good choice,” said a voice as I was picking through the cheese plate.
“I’m sorry?” I turned around.
His eyes were blue and framed by glasses rimmed in gunmetal gray. His hair was black and flopped down over his brow just a shade too far. “The cheese. It’s an artisanal kind from the School of Agriculture here.”
“Oh,” I said, looking down at the white cubes on my plate. “Well, eat local, right?”
“Absolutely. Smaller footprint, et cetera.” He held out his hand. “I’m Dylan Kingsley.”
“Tess McMann.” I waited for the inevitable what are you studying where are you going to school why should I care who you are, but it didn’t come. I put a piece of cheese on a cracker.
“Wait,” he said and spooned up a dollop of the black stuff sitting in a ramekin on the cheese tray and, without even asking, smeared it on top of my cheese. “Try it with this.”
I did. The sharp, tangy bite of the cheese exploded in my mouth, soothed by the sweetness of the dark, creamy paste. Dylan watched, the corner of his mouth quirked up in an approving smile.
“Yum,” I said once I swallowed, though yum didn’t quite cover it. “What is it?”
“Organic date-blueberry compote. The blueberries are from Cornell, too.”
“I’m guessing the dates aren’t, though.”
“No. It’s pretty hard to get dates around here.” A flush stole over his cheeks as he realized what he’d said. “I mean—” The flush grew deeper. “Can we, uh, pretend I never said that?”
“Sure thing.”
He chuckled to himself. “Thanks. I was hoping to sort of leave the whole Dylan the Dork thing behind in high school. I was going to make a new start being all handsome and mysterious.”
“And pick up chicks with your sexy cheese factoids?”
“Of course,” he said, mock-affronted. “Any girl worth having is impressed by sexy cheese factoids.”
“That’s been your experience?” I asked wryly.
“Not as such, no.” The flush was gone, but the smile remained. It did nice things to his cheekbones. I had a hard time imagining him having problems getting dates if he wanted.
“Tess!” I craned my neck to see Cristina waving to me from across the room. She was standing with a host of other headed-to-Cornell campers. “Come here and explain your whole algae thing to these people.”
“Algae?” Dylan asked.
“Way more nutritional than cheese,” I quipped as I headed over to my roommate and her new BFFs.
Cristina was still staring behind me when I arrived. “Who is that?”
“Another Cornell guy,” I guessed. After all, he knew everything about their cheese.
“Cute,” she said. “Teach him how long pants should be and you’ve got a hottie, too.”
I cast a glance over my shoulder. Dylan waved, a piece of cheese in his hand. In truth, I hadn’t even noticed the length of his pants, which were, as Cristina had said, just a touch too short. I’d been too busy thinking I’d never seen gunmetal-gray glasses before.
I dragged my gaze away. “Well, have at him, then,” I said as if I hadn’t a care in the world.
Sh
e cocked her head at me. “Boyfriend, or not into guys?”
“The latter,” I replied.
“Cool,” she said. “I’d actually been wondering, what with the no-makeup—”
“What?” I said, realizing what she’d meant. “No. I’m not—”
“It’s totally cool, girl. I don’t judge.”
How could I explain? My mom had been into boys and love and the whole sweep-you-off-your-feet romance thing. And look where she’d ended up—a mistress to a married man, raising a secret daughter, able neither to live the life she’d forged nor escape it. Sometimes I heard her with her friends, talking about how happy her arrangement was, how everyone got what they needed, but I knew better. I’d also heard her on the phone with him, begging when he hadn’t come over for days or weeks. I knew the promises he’d made her when I was younger and they didn’t think I was listening. There’d been times over the years when she’d thought Dad would leave his family for us, times she’d even put me in the car and driven past “our new house” on the nice side of town. But they’d never panned out.
I didn’t want to be dependent on anyone, the way Mom and I had always been. I knew I was weak like her, willing to give up the things I wanted—like Canton—to make the people I loved happy. I knew I was weak like her and wouldn’t be able to be with a guy without falling for him.
I hadn’t flown all the way to Ithaca to date some boy. I was here to work—to prove to myself that I could do something extraordinary all on my own.
***
Not only was Dylan in my lab, but because we were assigned seats alphabetically, we shared a burner.
“Cheesemonger,” I said as I dropped my bag on the floor next to my stool.
“Algae girl,” he replied.
“So you’re a biologist?” I asked him. He was wearing an open button-down blue shirt over a gray tee. It made his eyes darker, almost the same color as the frames of his glasses.
He shrugged, and his shoulder brushed mine. “Closest fit.” He watched me pull out my notebook and freshly sharpened pencils. “I read up on you, you know.”
