by Joya Ryan
“Why don’t I head home and change first, then I’ll go to the bonfire.”
Lily smiled and clapped. “Perfect. I’ll swing by and pick you up after I drop off Alex.”
A ping of excitement rang down her spine. “See you soon.”
…
“Well, look at you, little girl.”
Jenna screamed and clasped the shirt she was just about to try on to her chest.
“Easy, now. It’s just me,” Miranda said, walking into Jenna’s bedroom.
She turned to face her mother. “What are you doing here?” And what was up with people barging into her home lately? “I thought you were in Wichita.”
Miranda ruffled her box-blond hair, fluffing it up and causing the fat bangles on her wrist to jingle. She sat down on Jenna’s bed. The scent of cigarettes and Wild Turkey wafted from her and Jenna recognized the familiar smell from her childhood.
“Ox and I broke up, so I came home early.”
Her mother tended to pick men named after animals—she’d never forget the summer when Miranda had an affair with Rooster Miller and his brother Hound at the same time.
Something very sick and awful settled in Jenna’s gut.
Colt. Technically an animal name. Oh God! She threw her shirt on quickly, hating the thought of having something in common with her mother. She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to get back to the point of why Miranda was here.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Mama.”
Her mom’s trailer park was on the west end of town and the only reason Miranda would go out of her way to see Jenna before getting home was if she wanted something.
“He was an ass anyway. But I missed you, baby,” Miranda said and Jenna checked the urge to roll her eyes. “I was thinking maybe you and I could catch up.”
“What do you want, Mama?”
“Just to spend time with my daughter is all.”
When Jenna continued to stare, waiting for the other shoe to drop, it finally did and Miranda raised her chin in the air. “Fine. I’m late on rent.”
Didn’t surprise Jenna since Miranda hadn’t been in town to pay it in the last two months. “How much?”
“Six hundred should get me by. Or maybe I can stay with you?”
The way she smirked around that last statement made Jenna sick in a whole different way. Neither of them wanted to room together, but it was Miranda’s way of getting what she wanted. She threatened the much-needed space Jenna put between them. It was the one thing that made her cave every time. A few hundred bucks here and there was a small price to pay to keep her mother as far from her as possible.
“I’ll drop it by tomorrow.”
Miranda slapped her thighs and rose, not bothering to pull down her way-too-short pink denim skirt. “Thanks, baby.”
When she hit the doorway, she turned and looked Jenna from her toes to her head. “Who you dressing up for tonight?”
Jenna swallowed hard. “No one. Just friends.”
Miranda raised a brow, obviously not believing Jenna for a second. “Don’t lie to me Jenna-Jayne, I know that look. And seeing as how your closet is all over your floor, my guess is you’ve been going through outfits for some time now.” A triumphant smile spread her face and it was the first time Jenna really saw how tired and worn her mother looked. “You’re getting ready for a man.”
“No,” Jenna said way too quickly. But Miranda’s smile only widened. “Like I said, just going out with my friends.
“Whatever you say, little girl. But it looks like you got some of your mama in ya after all.” She winked and turned to leave. “Sequins and a short skirt are always a safe bet,” she said over her shoulder right before exiting.
Jenna looked down the front of her. A sparkly fitted shirt and yes…short skirt. Something very dark, very sad rose up and stung behind her eyes.
She quickly peeled the outfit off, vowing to burn it, and tried not to cry.
Chapter Nine
Huck and Ryder parked their pickups by Colt’s. At the other end of the semicircle was Sebastian’s SUV, overlooking Diamond Lake.
The slight breeze carried tiny flecks of cotton from the nearby fields, skating it along the meadow. Colt had already started a roaring fire, and all the guys were on their second beer as the sun started to fade.
Colt took a deep breath and let it sink in. The smell of the fire, the sound of the lake lapping in the distance, his best friends…
For a moment, he could almost remember—almost appreciate—his home, and how it was before his parents died and everything went to shit.
Penny pulled up and parked several yards away from the fire. She got out of her car holding a covered dish.
“What you got there, kiddo?” Ryder asked when she reached the fire.
“Oh, just some cookies.”
“Please tell me those are Penny’s famous peanut-butter-praline cookies?” Huck smiled, nearly knocking Colt over to get to the small redhead.
She lifted the cover. “Double batch for all you growin’ boys.”
Penny smiled and passed them out. Ryder handed her a beer.
“Growing?” Huck grumbled around the cookie hanging from his mouth. “Woman, this is a finely tuned machine here.”
He slapped his flat belly. Huck was cut and trim, so where he stashed all that shit he ate Colt never knew.
“I was talking about your ever-growing ego, Huckleberry,” Penny said.
Colt snorted.
“Penelope,” Bass greeted.
“Hi, Sebastian.”
Colt could have sworn he heard a small tremble in Penny’s voice. Growing up as Little Miss Diamond, Penny was the all-American girl next door, radiating wholesome goodness. But with Ryder as an older brother and dealing with drunks on a regular basis, she had gained some tough nerves over the years. Very little riled her.
“So where’s my sister?” Colt asked Penny.
“She’s on her way.”
Colt took another drink of beer. He wanted so bad to ask if JJ was coming, but didn’t want to seem like he cared too much or put suspicion out there. She’d never forgive him.
Not that he didn’t trust his friends. Huck, Ryder, and Bass were like his brothers. He could count on them with his life. But it had been made very clear that what went on between JJ and him was just that.
Between them.
He kind of liked it that way.
JJ might view it as a secret, but Colt felt like he had a membership in a very exclusive club. He got to see JJ in a way no one else did, or maybe ever had. When her tightly reined control slipped and all that gorgeous hair came down, Miss Justice changed from sexy to downright wanton with one kiss.
Great, now Colt was inflating his own ego. But, damn it, he couldn’t help thinking about her. How she lost herself in passion. How she made him feel like he held her world in his hands and trusted him not to drop it. If he could be any kind of solace for her, Colt would take what he could get, over and over. Because loving on that woman had been like no other experience he’d ever had.
“What is he doing?” Penny’s voice cut through Colt’s thoughts. He looked up to see her staring at him.
Ryder shrugged. “I think he’s on drugs. Guy’s been grinning and mumbling to himself all day.”
Colt tugged on the bill of his hat. “I’m not on drugs. I’m just—”
“Happy,” Penny finished.
Was he? He knew he was definitely digging life around a certain sexy teacher, but happy? In Diamond?
“Colt, this is great! You’ve never been home this long and now you’re all”—she waved a petite hand in his direction—“smiley. This is good!”
Colt took a swig of beer, hoping this conversation would pass, when Penny asked, “What were you thinking about with such a silly smirk on your face?”
How JJ looks when she’s sprawled out in my bed, crying out my name.
’Course, he’d never say that aloud. But Colt reveled once more in the fact that it was he who
got to touch her, taste her.
As if Huck read his mind, he asked, “Jenna coming?”
Penny shrugged, the previous conversation seemingly dropped. Which Colt appreciated.
“I thought so,” she said. “I haven’t talked to the girls today, though. I’ve been a bit preoccupied.”
Her eyes glanced to Bass. Something was definitely up. Did little Penny still have a crush on the big bad attorney? Colt remembered her as a thirteen-year-old, all elbows and knees, swooning every time Bass came around. Colt would have thought the schoolgirl crush would have worn off by now, but maybe not. Either way, it would never happen. Bass, like the rest of them, valued their friendship too much to mess around with a buddy’s sister.
“Ooh! I love this song!” Penny ran to the nearby trucks and cranked the radio. Country music, good view, good friends, and good beer. A dose of nostalgia hit Colt again.
He had just started pushing the painful memories of his parents’ death away and began thinking again of how much he really missed this place.
A soft crunch of grass in the distance made him look up. “Hol-lee shit,” he breathed.
Lily and JJ were walking toward them. And JJ Justice had never looked so—
“Whoa,” Huck mumbled. He was undoubtedly looking at the same thing Colt was. The woman looked good.
“I’ve never seen Jenna like”—Huck ran a hand down the side of his face—“that.”
Me either.
She’d donned a worn pair of denim cutoff shorts, and with every step her hips swished and her toned legs flexed, taunting him.
Colt grinned.
A white tank and open red flannel shirt accented every curve, and when the breeze hit, it pushed the outer layer off her shoulders. Damned if Colt didn’t want a tornado to come their way so her whole outfit would blow away. Though she was dressed down from her normal sensible wardrobe, and she looked hot as hell, she was still slightly hiding behind her clothes. Which he couldn’t figure out why. The woman had an amazing body but never showed it off. Except with yoga, a class Colt was looking into getting an indefinite membership to.
But what was more concerning was the expression on her face. There was something in her eyes. Something sad. Colt’s blood immediately heated and the urge to run over to JJ and ask what or who put that look on her face was overwhelming. Because whatever it was, he wanted to extinguish it.
“Hey, everyone!” Lily smiled and JJ held up a six-pack. “Hope we’re not too late.”
Ryder and Huck wrapped each girl in a hug while Colt stood dumbstruck. Bass had gone over by the truck with Penny.
Colt was trying to gauge her mood. He was also trying to not stare at her mouth too hard—which he was failing miserably at because damn it the woman was beyond beautiful.
“Your hair,” was the only intelligible thing Colt mumbled.
JJ looked at him in confusion, then picked up the single-plaited braid currently resting over one shoulder.
“Something wrong with it?”
Colt shook his head. “I’ve just never seen it like that.”
“You mean all cowgirl style?” She grinned.
Thick curls that the braid couldn’t contain broke loose and framed her face. Dear God, the woman was perfection. Whether she was in skirts and sweaters or cutoffs and cowgirl boots, Jenna-Jayne Justice knew just how to tempt a man. What’s worse, she didn’t even have to try.
Ryder, Huck, and Lily started talking and JJ walked around the fire to Colt.
“You look good tonight, sugar,” he murmured when she was close enough that only she could hear him.
She glanced down the front of herself like she was insecure or something.
“I mean it,” he offered, trying to reassure her.
“Thank you.”
“You all right?”
She looked up at him and those big gray eyes were so expressive Colt could almost pick words right out of her head. Something had happened before she came here. Something upsetting.
“No, not really,” she said softly. She scooted toward him a bit more. “I’ve been thinking about you.”
“That so?” Not what he expected, but he’d take it.
She nodded.
“What have you been thinking about?” he asked and took a swallow from his longneck.
She leaned in and whispered, “About how you feel inside me.”
Colt choked on his beer. Now that was something he really didn’t expect. “You can’t be drunk already, JJ.”
“Not drunk. Just being honest.”
“Oh yeah?” He glanced around, happy they were still out of earshot of the others. “I thought you didn’t do honest.”
She frowned. “I’ve been truthful with you, haven’t I? Just because I don’t want everyone knowing my business doesn’t make me dishonest.”
Shit. Colt knew that. He was just thinking how he liked that he and JJ had their own hidden world, so why was he pushing her now?
“Well, be that as it may, Miss Justice, your change in mood is surprising.” Colt backpedaled when he saw her expression drop. “Don’t get me wrong, I always want to hear about your thoughts, especially when they involve me, but somehow I’m not convinced this is a conversation that’s going to end well.”
“I just…” She exhaled deeply. “I don’t know what to do. There’s so many things I want.” Her gaze lingered on his mouth. “But there’s so many things I don’t want to be.”
There. That look she gave told him everything. “So you want me?”
She nodded slowly, but that bleak expression didn’t dissipate.
“But you’re afraid of what that will make you? If we continue to hook up?”
Again she nodded, her eyes kind of glossy, and something in Colt’s gut hurt like someone just shanked him with a dull edge of a spear.
“So you have all these things you want and don’t want, but I think the question is, JJ, what makes you happy?”
Her eyes lock on his.
“You,” she admitted quietly. But when she bit the side of her bottom lip, Colt about lost it. “I keep trying to tackle all this with logic. Focus on the facts.”
That sounded just like her, and he admired the smart teacher problem-solver that she was.
“The fact is, it’s not a good idea for us to continue this. But I enjoy our”—she leaned in and whispered—“time together. I like the kind of person I am when I’m with you.”
Colt nodded. “You do seem less…”
“Reserved?”
“I was going to say uptight.”
There was that smile he’d been waiting for. “Yes, well, the problem is, what makes me happy personally and professionally are in direct conflict. Getting the job for the after-school program would make me happy, too. It’s everything I’ve been working for. And to get that, I need to behave a certain way.”
When those stormy grays roamed over his body, Colt knew exactly what she meant. “I get it, JJ. Sometimes we can’t have everything. But look around, right now, we’re with people we love in the middle of nowhere. It’s just us. Everything else can be worried about tomorrow. Be who you want to be. At least for tonight.” He brushed his fingertip along her hand gently and quickly so no one could see. “You deserve to be happy. You deserve everything.”
He was just about to kick his own ass for blurting that last part out and sounding like a total moron. But JJ’s whole body shifted toward him, raw heat radiating from her.
“And what if I do want everything?” Positioning herself so that her back was toward everyone else, she traced the line of his belt.
Colt nodded dumbly, happy to do whatever, however she wanted. Christ the woman had him reeling. She was beautiful. He knew that. But somehow, surrounded by grass, trucks, and country, she looked at home. Looked at him like he was home.
“I’ll take your advice. Even if it’s just for a night, I don’t want to feel so weighed down.”
Her gray eyes roamed around. As if taking in all the land, the open
ness. Damn it, Colt wanted that for her. Freedom from everything negative. He wanted her to be happy. To be herself.
“And what about you, Colt?”
He frowned.
She grinned and tapped his stomach. “What is it you want?”
Ah shit. What the hell did he want? He had no idea. He knew he wanted JJ, but for what? A tumble in the sack?
No, he could have that with a lot of woman, most of whom wouldn’t be so damn complicated or come with invisible strings drawing him back to Diamond. But JJ wasn’t just any woman. She was smart, funny, and passionate. She made him feel like trying. Like earning her.
He took his career seriously and worked hard for that—but relationships and people? Colt would take a wily bull over stillness any day of the week. Because when he was quiet for too long, his brain started churning out things he’d rather not think about. Every time he looked at JJ, he felt himself slip into a trance. In that moment of cottonwood blowing like summer snow and Jenna-Jayne with her bright eyes and wide smile, he felt like maybe sticking around wouldn’t be so bad. And he knew, deep down, he’d be a better man for it.
“What if I want more?” Colt said.
“More? You saddle up for eight seconds at a time, trying to go for nine now?” She gave him a teasing smirk.
“Cute. Real cute.” But she was wrong about one thing. “If memory serves, Miss Justice…” Colt leaned in until he could feel her breath graze his mouth. “I was happily saddled in one place all night last week.”
Her mouth parted on a heavy exhale and her cheeks flushed the slightest pink. God, he loved it. Coaxing her. Anything to warm her skin and make her think of the times they shared. Because that was the only thing his goddamn brain would churn out. Not that he was complaining, but if he was turning into a borderline-obsessed schoolboy, he’d be damn sure to drag her thoughts down with him.
“Well, it would seem then, Mr. McCade, that you’ve had your ‘more.’ So why are you whining?”
“JJ…” He gripped her wrist. “I’m not above playing by your rules for now.” Her eyes went heavy-lidded. He released her and took a step back. “But at some point, the game will change and you’ll be at my mercy.”
