by Joya Ryan
“Ooh!” Yvonne chirped, her eyes zeroing on something in the distance.
Jenna followed her stare and saw what she was eyeing.
“Colt is looking good today.” She sighed, twirling a lock of processed blond around her finger.
Jenna felt the urge to punch Yvonne in her fat mouth.
Colt was walking next to Sebastian and Huck. The three oozed so much testosterone and sex appeal it was melting the panties off more than a few of Diamond’s females. But Jenna was focused on just one man.
Colt.
And he was headed her way.
Jenna noticed Penny’s eyes lock on Sebastian.
“I’ve got to get back to my booth. See you later, Jenna,” Penny said before scooting away.
Since the bonfire, her friend seemed a bit frazzled. Cooking for Sebastian for a week couldn’t be that bad. Sure, the attorney could be intense, but today, with his white button-up rolled at the sleeves, dark jeans, and mirrored aviators, he looked more edible than intimidating.
Jenna’s tastes were for a Kansas cowboy with worn jeans, thick belt, and baseball cap. Lord, Colt was delicious. Simple and sexy.
When the men reached her table, Jenna tensed and Yvonne sighed. The purse barked.
“Ladies.” Colt tapped the bill of his hat.
Jenna instantly wanted to plaster herself around Colt and kiss the daylights out of him. And she didn’t care who saw. But if Yvonne didn’t stop openly drooling over him, Jenna was going to tell her exactly which plateau she could jump off of. And her little dog too.
…
“I was wondering when you were going to come say hi,” Yvonne said and threw her arms around Colt. Crap, not again. He had no idea how to react, but when she pulled him into a hug, subtly rubbing her breasts against his chest, he could read her intentions right away. A sound like a yelping rat came from her bag. “I had a good time the other night.”
Colt instantly frowned and he didn’t miss that JJ’s eyes went wide.
“The other night?” he said quietly, partly because he didn’t want JJ getting the wrong idea and also because he had no idea what the hell Yvonne was talking about.
“At the bar,” Yvonne said and reality hit Colt. He vaguely remembered Yvonne walking into Penny’s BBQ somewhere between shots number seven and eight. She may have even flirted, but he didn’t touch her. A fact he wanted to make clear to JJ but didn’t know how without blowing the “secret relationship” thing they had going.
“Fun. The other night,” JJ repeated as if trying to get a grasp on what was said or an explanation.
“It’s not—”
“Yes, we did,” Yvonne interrupted Colt.
“I see.” The look on JJ’s face shot a fresh dose of pain to his chest and it had nothing to do with his nearly healed ribs. Being the classy woman she was, JJ simply gave her best smile, but Colt could tell she was chewing nails.
He so badly wanted to blurt out, “Nothing happened!” but that would be putting attention on the whole situation, including JJ. He needed to think of something, though, because he couldn’t have her looking at him like that. Like he broke a little piece of her or crushed the trust he was trying to build.
“Yeah, the other night was fun,” Colt said, then hurried with, “Yvonne saw me at the BBQ. I had a few drinks then passed out alone in my truck. Sure reminds me of the old days.” God, he hoped JJ heard the sincerity in his voice and caught on to what he was trying to explain without openly saying. The slight upturn in her lush lips made Colt think she got his message.
“How are you, Colt?” she asked him in a softer tone. Something in her eyes was tender and the way she looked at him, with a slight concern, made him realize what she was really asking him. She knew about the anniversary of his parents’ death, but wasn’t coming out and saying so.
“I’m good,” he said. Appreciating her concern but not wanting to talk about it. Not here. Not now, maybe not ever. But JJ’s gray eyes didn’t leave his face.
“I thought of you,” she said warmly and clear as day. Those words rolling off her sweet lips made Colt’s body instantly stand to attention. She thought of him. And she admitted it. Out loud and in public. Something Yvonne took note of because she wasn’t moving away from Colt, instead sliding closer.
“I thought of you too…last night,” Yvonne whispered loudly and way too close to his ear for comfort. She swayed and rested her hand on his chest.
Over her shoulder, Colt saw JJ instantly stand up, causing her chair to tumble over. She slapped her hands on the table. Yvonne jumped at the sound and turned to face JJ. And not just Yvonne—all nearby eyes zeroed in on JJ. A tremor of lust, and a little fear, shot down Colt’s spine.
Miss JJ looks pissed.
Damn it, she was sexy when she was mad. Teeth clenched, nostrils flared, she was staring at Yvonne as if she were about to jump over the table and strangle her.
Was it bad he was turned on by this? By the fact that little Miss Perfection Jenna Justice seemed riled? Maybe even jealous?
“Yes?” Yvonne said. “Something you want to say, Jenna?”
JJ took a deep breath, her eyes landing on Colt. She opened her mouth to speak and—holy shit, Colt could tell by the look on her face that she was going to admit to something she would later regret.
She had been adamant about keeping their “relationship” a secret. So why now, in front of Yvonne and the town, would she out them?
He had no idea, but she was about to blow the cover she’d worked so hard to erect. Colt knew she’d hate herself later for it.
“Yes,” JJ snapped. “There is something I want to say. You—”
“You’re looking for volunteers, isn’t that right, Miss Justice?” Colt said, cutting her off.
JJ’s brow creased and Colt sidestepped Yvonne to scribble on a blue piece of paper that lay on the table in front of her.
“I…yes. Thank you?”
He nodded.
She sat.
Situation defused. People went back to talking and looking at the different booths. JJ was obviously a bit confused, but he saw the moment reality sank in for her. She glanced around, then looked at Colt and gave him a small smile. Silently thanking him. At least, that’s how he read it.
“How sweet to volunteer your time for your nephew, what with you being so busy and all. You staying in town long?” Yvonne flipped her hair over one shoulder, the large hat she wore flopping with the motion. Colt recognized the gesture. Knew women well enough to know exactly how they flirted.
He chanced a glance at JJ, who looked away the moment their eyes met and began fiddling with the papers in front of her.
“Haven’t really thought about it,” he lied.
It was all he thought about. How long he would stay. He had shown up here thinking a week would be torture, but the more time passed, the more he saw the hot little teacher, felt her warmth, the more he wanted to stay. For a hell of a lot longer than a single summer.
“Well, we should get dinner. You free tonight?”
“Sorry, but I’m all tied up tonight.”
Yvonne pouted and the thing in her purse yipped some more. “Maybe this weekend.”
“Maybe. I’m sorry but I’ve got to get going.” He looked for Sebastian—guy was a terrible wingman. He’d left him high and dry to go to Penny’s booth.
“Good seeing you, Colt. I’ll get your number from Lily,” Yvonne said.
Colt’s whole upper body sank. He watched Jenna shove the glasses up on her nose but keep her head down, concentrating on her task of organizing and reorganizing that stack of papers.
“Miss Justice,” he said.
Jenna’s eyes looked up, wide and gray. It was nearly his undoing.
She gave a sad smile. “Nice to see you, Colt, and thank you for”—she looked down at the paper he scribbled on—“your time.”
…
You’re Beautiful.
Jenna read those two words over and over long after Colt and Yvonne had le
ft her booth.
It was what Colt had written down on the volunteer form. He had also said he hadn’t given much thought to his stay in Diamond.
Thinking of Colt’s words from earlier, Jenna shook her head. He wasn’t going to stay. Why should he? He didn’t live here. He’d made it clear he didn’t ever want to move back.
She traced her finger over the paper. Colt McCade didn’t belong to anyone, least of all her. But something had come over her. Something like rage. When she saw Yvonne and all her desperation grope Colt, she’d snapped. Gone were the reasons she kept their relationship a secret. For a split second, she hadn’t cared that Yvonne would make her life miserable and paint her as a scarlet-letter whore. If that happened, Jenna could kiss running the after-school program good-bye.
Thank God Colt stepped in when he did.
Breath left her lungs when she realized that maybe Colt had done that on purpose. Maybe he had known Jenna was about to unleash a wicked tongue-lashing—and maybe a few bitch slaps—onto Yvonne, and he had stopped her from shattering her chances at getting the job.
“What a mess,” she mumbled as she packed up her papers. No, not a mess. Messy was exactly what she was staying away from.
Chapter Twelve
Jenna knocked on Lily’s back door.
Alex threw it open in excitement. “Miss Jenna!” His little arms instantly wrapped around her middle and he pulled her into a bite-size bear hug.
“Hi kiddo, how are you doing?”
Alex released her and jumped up and down. “So good! Mama called and said she was working late so Uncle Colt let me have ice cream for dinner!”
“He did, huh?” Somehow Jenna wasn’t surprised.
“Hey now, don’t go saying only half the truth there, partner.” Colt leaned against the far wall on the other side of the kitchen while Alex tugged Jenna through the back door.
“Oh, right! He let me have beef jerky too.”
“Wow, lucky boy.”
Alex spun around and Colt winked. “Go on and play, buddy. I need to talk to Miss Justice.”
“Okay.” Alex was still spinning when he left the kitchen.
Instead of heading for Jenna like she’d hoped, Colt walked around the island and opened a few cupboards. He placed bread, peanut butter, and a banana on the counter and began building a sandwich.
“Ice cream for dinner?”
Colt shrugged, his eyes on the banana he was slicing. “Life’s short, why not eat dessert first once in a while?”
Jenna’s chest tightened. Coming from Colt, it sounded almost morbid. Maybe it was because she had talked to Lily at the beauty parlor and now had more insight about him.
Pushing those thoughts aside, she ran her hands down her skirt. “Well, if Lily is working late then I’ll just call her tomorrow.”
Jenna turned for the door.
“Hold up,” Colt called. “You really came just to see my sister?”
“Yes.” No.
“Uh-huh. So you don’t care to talk about what happened at the market today.”
Jenna shrugged. “Nothing happened.” Because you saved my ass.
Colt smirked. He cut the newly made sandwich in half, then licked the knife. Jenna’s stupid tongue darted out and traced her bottom lip.
“Whatever you say, sugar.”
Damn it! The man was driving her crazy. Every attempt she made at logic for this situation between them, she came up with the same answer. She wanted more, but had no idea how to get it.
What was even more difficult was that she shouldn’t want more, but there she was, hoping to get a better glimpse of Colt. To really know him. To understand what sad thoughts made his eyes darken. Mostly, she wanted to know how to chase that darkness away.
He was kind, caring, and loyal. She had a connection with him. Yet she felt she’d been dancing the same dance for years and getting nowhere. Colt had seen her at her worst and her peak. She trusted him with herself, so why did she feel as if he’d somehow rebuffed her?
Oh, God…
There, in the middle of Lily’s kitchen, she watched Colt make his nephew a sandwich and realized she was the one craving more and was trying to go after it. This whole time she’d masked her efforts as something else, but the facts were right there, as clear as she was standing before Colt.
She was going after him. And she was terrified. Because he had changed everything. Without Colt, she’d go back to the emptiness that had been eating away at her for years. Only this time, she’d be aware of it.
“Say it,” Colt whispered. His breath tickled her forehead. She hadn’t even noticed he’d moved so close to her.
“Say what?”
“Whatever the hell has you frowning and biting your lip like a damn cannibal. Just say it. Stop worrying, overthinking, and analyzing. Just. Say. It.”
“I’m an empty human being.” Jenna’s hand flew to her mouth. She couldn’t believe what had just come out. Why would she say such a thing? She had people in her life. People she loved, like Lily and Penny. She had friends, the guys, her job.
Colt cupped her cheek in his palm. He stared hard at her, his blue eyes burning. As though he was waiting for her to understand something he had figured out a long time ago.
“You’re not empty, Jenna.”
She snorted and shook her head. “How do you know? You don’t know anything about—”
He gripped her chin and raised it. “I’m not even going to let you finish that sentence.”
Jenna’s heart sped up. Colt—easygoing, laid-back Colt—was furious.
“I see you. The real you. I know you’re scared. I know you struggle with the past. I know the memories that molded you still haunt you.”
She swallowed hard. Her eyes watered. Because if anyone did know about that, it was Colt.
“You’re strong. Not empty.”
“Do you ever feel lost, even when you’re right where you’re supposed to be? Where you thought you wanted to be?”
His grip on her chin softened, and he trailed his fingertips along her cheekbone. “Yes. Ever since my parents died.” His eyes bored into hers. “That is, until recently.”
Her lips parted and her breathing stalled. “Colt…”
“I’m not supposed to be here, but somehow…” He leaned in, brushing his lips over her ear. “When I’m near you—inside you—I feel more at home than I ever have in my life.”
Jenna couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. She felt it too. Wanted that. But it wasn’t that easy. It never was. She couldn’t continue seeing Colt the way she had, because every time she felt what it was like to connect to someone—to show her true self and be accepted—it ended with her feeling more empty than when she started.
Despite all that had happened, Colt hadn’t offered any personal details about himself. She wanted to know him, to soothe him the way he had soothed her when she was younger. But she couldn’t.
That was how an addiction started. That was how a woman lost herself and threw her body at any willing man in an attempt to relive a single moment of not feeling lonely.
“Colt, I want more. I shouldn’t. I know that. But I want to know you. Beyond this summer. I just…” She looked him in the eyes. “Just tell me something that lets me know you now. In this moment.”
He gave her a soft kiss. “This is the longest I’ve been home since my parents died.” She nodded, silently urging him to continue. “I don’t like remembering them, because then I have to accept that they’re gone. That I fucked up.”
“You didn’t do anything, Colt. It was an accident.”
“The night they died, I had sneaked out. I wasn’t even there when the cops came to the house. Lily had to face them alone.”
“Oh, Colt.” She cupped his neck.
“My father was a good man. The kind of man I wanted to be. But when they died, just the thought of them… I knew I could never be as good as they were. Diamond was their home. Lily was their daughter.”
“And you are their son.�
�� Her grip tightened. “You will forever be a McCade. The best parts of them are in you and Lily and Alex. They’d be proud, Colt.”
“Are you?” His eyes were fierce, and Jenna felt like she swallowed her tongue. He took a step forward. She stepped back. They did this until her shoulders were pinned against the door. “How can you say that they’d be proud of me when you yourself are ashamed of me?”
“I’m not ashamed you, Colt.”
“Bullshit.” She placed her hands on his chest but he didn’t budge. “You want to know me, Jenna? Every damn time I come to Diamond, this death shit comes up. But this time? This time I have you to deal with, too,” he snapped.
How had this conversation turned so dramatically? Jenna searched Colt’s face, but he wore a mask of anger. She remembered what Lily had said. Colt had just shared something deeply personal about himself and was left vulnerable. And now he was angry about it.
“I’ve tried to stay away from you,” he said. “Tried to get you out of my system. Nothing works. You sink your hooks in, then you leave, and it’s like…”
“A crash.”
Colt nodded. Jenna knew that feeling too well. She’d wanted more, and Colt had just given it to her. He’d opened up. Trusted her.
“Careful, JJ. I see your mind working again. You just might admit the truth.”
“I’ve never been dishonest with you.”
“No, you’ve been very clear on what you want. And that’s me. For one night.”
“Colt, it’s not like that.”
“Just admit it.” He pushed himself away from her, a look of pure disgust on his face.
“What do you want me to say, Colt? You need to hear the words? Will that make this all better?”
“Yes! Christ, JJ, I don’t even know what I’m fighting here! I just know I’m in knots and you’re the cause. You wanted a fling, I gave it to you. You wanted us to be a secret? Wanted me to keep my mouth shut? I did that too. Don’t insult my intelligence. Just admit to why—it’s because you’re ashamed of me.”
