Chasing Trouble

by Joya Ryan

  He was holding her back.

  Bile rose in his throat and of all the kicks and stomps he’d gotten over the years, this one was the worst. He wanted to hold tight to the one thing he loved, but it wasn’t up to him. He should have known better.

  “I’m leaving, JJ.”

  Her gray eyes shot wide and she reached out for him. “What? But I thought…” She glanced away.

  “What?” Colt said with way too much hope in his voice. Internally, he begged her to say it. Whatever it was going on behind those big beautiful eyes. Tell him he had it wrong. That she loved him too. Something. Anything. Just say—

  “Maybe after the school board votes and things settle down we could try to figure something out.”

  Colt’s chest tightened. “After?”

  She rubbed her fingers under her eyes. “Yeah. Maybe Yvonne won’t say anything. There’s still a chance I could get the vote in my favor but until then, distance is best.”

  “You’ve said that before.” Distance. The exact opposite of what he wanted. He wanted JJ. All the time. And he didn’t care who knew it. But she did. “Good-bye, Jenna.”

  He didn’t let her say anything, only heard a gasp, maybe a sob, but he walked to his truck and left. Never looking at her face because he didn’t think he could handle what he saw.

  …

  “Wow, you look like hell,” Penny said, walking into Jenna’s house. It had been twenty-four hours since Colt left, and Jenna was pretty sure she’d spent every minute of it crying. Lily had called yesterday saying that Colt had taken off without saying much of anything. Apparently he hadn’t mentioned their relationship, or lack thereof. Not that she could blame him. If Lily knew something was going on between them, she wasn’t pushing it.

  “Have you heard from Colt?” Jenna asked when Lily walked in behind Penny.

  “He texted that he was back in Kansas City, that’s it.”

  Jenna nodded. She was beyond hurt and confused and couldn’t put all the pieces together. She knew what she wanted, and that was Colt. Yet he left her. Or maybe she drove him away? She wasn’t sure. When he was on her doorstep, she wanted to tell him about her mother. How she’d seen her and that she was the reason she was running, hiding, trying to prove she was different.

  None of it mattered now.

  “What is wrong with you two?” Jenna’s eyes darted between Penny and Lily. Penny sat next to Jenna on the couch, then Lily sat on the other side. Effectively sandwiching her in. Both of them staring Jenna down. She felt like she was on trial.

  “We know,” Lily said.

  “You know what?”

  “We know about you and Colt,” Penny clarified.

  Jenna’s mouth hung open, but she couldn’t be that surprised. When she and Colt were at the cabin, she knew she’d have explaining to do when she got back. She couldn’t lie and there was no need to. These were her best friends.

  “Do you two have opinions you want to share with me?” Jenna asked cautiously.

  Lily and Penny exchanged a look. Finally, Lily took a deep breath. “I was worried that if you two got together, then broke up, there would be bad feelings and…” She stopped herself. “All that matters is that you’re happy.”

  Penny nodded. “We love you both no matter what.”

  Jenna’s tears rose for the millionth time and she swiped the back of her hand over her eyes.

  “You don’t look happy, honey,” Lily said softly. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but we’re here to help.”

  Their understanding sent Jenna over the edge. “Oh God, you guys, I’m in trouble.”

  Lily’s eyes went wide and she instantly wrapped her in a hug and Penny rubbed her back.

  “What happened? Was he a jerk to you? I may be his younger sister but I’ll kick his ass.”

  “No, it’s not him. It’s me. I’m in love with him. And I can’t do anything about it.”

  Both woman pulled back slightly and stared at her.

  “You…you love him?” Penny asked softly.

  “Does he love you back?” Lily asked.

  “I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I can’t offer him anything.”

  “Of course you can! Look at you. You’re smart, successful, and, hello!” Penny motioned to Jenna’s chest and she couldn’t help but let a small laugh slip out.

  “I just want this job so much. I’ve kept Colt a secret, been sneaking around and still can’t bring myself to spill about our relationship. I keep telling myself that as soon as the board votes—if I can just hang on until tomorrow, with no rumors, no slander from the Taylors—then I’ll get the job and finally this will end and—” A sob broke in her throat when the truth hit her. Colt hadn’t told about their affair to hurt her, he had admitted to something he was proud of, and Jenna had shot him down and put her job first. “I really messed up.”

  “I’m sure you can fix it.”

  “If I were Colt, I wouldn’t talk to me again. I’ve been so wrapped up in trying to prove I’m different than my mother that I hurt the one person who actually makes me feel like more.”

  “Jenna, when are you going to realize, honey?” Penny stroked her hair. “You’re a teacher, a damn good one. They can’t take that from you. Yvonne, her mother—hell, the whole women’s quilting circle—can say what they want, when they want, but it doesn’t matter. They can’t make you feel small. They don’t have the power to brand you a whore or ‘just like your mom.’ Only you do.”

  Penny looked so innocent, like only truthful phrases could ever cross her mouth, and Jenna knew she was right. She’d been scared for far too long. Afraid of herself and her own emotions. Afraid that if she faltered once or even breathed incorrectly, she would somehow turn into her most hated nightmare.

  This whole time Jenna hadn’t been running from the town, her mother, or Yvonne; she had been running from herself.

  “I love him,” Jenna said. “I’ve been so selfish, so lost. But with him I feel like myself. He’s seen me, all of me, and he still wants me.”

  Lily smiled. “You’re not selfish. You just have an entire past working against you. I know you’re usually the teacher, but I think, if you let him, Colt will show you what we all have known since day one.”

  “You’re a good person, Jenna. You don’t have to keep proving that to everyone,” Penny added. “No matter what Yvonne or anyone else says.”

  Jenna palmed her forehead. Yvonne was going to make a move against her, Jenna knew it. But it was time she faced that. She was tired of running and hiding.

  “No matter what, Jenna, we’ve got your back. Always.” Lily smiled at her and Penny nodded in agreement.

  Jenna was lucky. She had amazing friends. While they might not be blood, she loved them more than her own kin. She wrapped them up in a big hug and felt their support radiate. She would have to just let go, allow life to happen.

  For the first time, she was finally giving up control. And it felt wonderful.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “This place is creepy.”

  The voice coming from over Colt’s shoulder made him take his gaze off his beer and look back.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Colt rasped. In the middle of the Rusty Bolt, standing in a three-piece suit and looking every bit “the guy who always had his shit together,” was Sebastian.

  “Grabbed a flight to come talk some sense into you and bring you home.” Bass took a seat next to him at the bar. He didn’t need to ask how he found him. He was an attorney. Dug for facts. Aka, Lily likely sold him out. This was, after all, the bar he went to when he wanted to get lost. But so far, he hadn’t been able to outrun JJ’s scent, her eyes, or the damn hold she had on his heart.

  “I am home,” Colt grumbled and took a swig of his beer.

  “Bullshit. Stop being a pussy, man up, and come back to Diamond.”

  “There’s nothing for me there,” Colt said and slammed his hand down on the counter. “I fucked things up, Bass. I’m bad fo
r Jenna.”

  “She loves you. If you can’t see that then you have bigger problems than I can help you with.” Colt shook his head but Bass went on. “Listen to me. Jenna struggles to outlive something that haunts her. It’s hard. Really fucking hard sometimes.”

  Colt looked at his friend and knew he was speaking from experience. Bass had a mean son of a bitch for a father and grew up with less than nothing. There was a darkness in him he tried to tamp down every day. “But she loves you, has since she was a kid. Everyone can see that. And she needs you now.”

  “I don’t know,” Colt looked at his beer and wondered if staying away really was best. Maybe he didn’t fight for her because deep down, he was still scared as hell. Scared that she was the one thing he couldn’t live without.

  “Here.” Bass slapped a plane ticket on the bar. “Flight leaves in two hours. Hope to see you on it.”

  Bass got up and Colt turned. “This isn’t easy.”

  Bass smiled. “When dealing with a woman, things never are. But the right one’s worth it.”

  Colt smiled and thought of JJ and all the passion and kindness that came with her. Maybe it was time Colt stopped running, once and for all.

  …

  After another sleepless night, Jenna managed to pull herself together, splash cold water on her face, and face the day. The day she’d been waiting for. She walked into the gymnasium. A good chunk of the town had turned out for the school board meeting. Even Miss Tena had closed her shop early. Either Jenna would be chosen to take charge of the program she worked so hard for, or Yvonne would.

  The five school board members sat behind a long table, Flo Taylor in the dead center.

  “So glad you made it, Jenna,” Yvonne said, coming to stand next to her.

  “Is there a reason you thought I wouldn’t be here today?”

  Yvonne examined her nails. “Oh, I just wasn’t sure you were going to be back in time. The way you just disappeared with Colt McCade. Then with you blowing off an important PTA meeting to take off and do God knows what. Makes one question just what kind of person would do that.”

  Jenna’s stomach fell to her toes. She was obviously being snotty on purpose but—

  “PTA meeting? There was nothing scheduled.”

  Yvonne gave a snarky smile. “I scheduled one last week to discuss the disbursement of field trip money and the schedule for next year.” She gave an exaggerated pout. “But you weren’t here to know that, were you?”

  Jenna’s heart stuck to her rib cage. There had been no such meeting. Yvonne was fighting dirty and likely figured out a way to fudge this detail ever since she found out about Colt and Jenna. But it didn’t stop Jenna from feeling like she suddenly couldn’t get enough air. Everything was falling apart. She had been set up to fail and, what was worse, she had lost Colt in the process.

  “Quiet down everyone,” Flo Taylor screeched into the microphone. Jenna looked over her shoulder. Lily, Penny, Huck, and Sebastian all sat together. Huck gave her a thumbs-up, while Lily hooted and clapped and Penny gave a little wave. She wished Colt were there. No matter what happened, she wanted him. Forever. And she may never get the opportunity to tell him.

  “First order of business is determining who will oversee the after-school program starting September of this year.” Flo Taylor’s voice was so self-assured it made Jenna’s heart sink a little. “Yvonne Taylor and Jenna-Jayne Justice, will you please come to the front.”

  Jenna walked with as much confidence as she could, trying hard not to fiddle with her glasses or slide her palm over the bun on the back of her head. Everything Yvonne had said, had done, was bouncing around on the inside of her skull, and she couldn’t make sense of it. But when she stood before the audience, there was one face she wasn’t expecting to see.

  Mom?

  Her mother sat in the middle of the bleachers, surrounded by people on all sides. An ache so deep, so long ago buried, rose up. Her mother didn’t look at her like she usually did. Not with want for something or drunken disgust. Miranda Justice looked proud of her.

  She also looked so tired. A kind of weathering came to a person with a life like Miranda led. While she may appear exhausted, Jenna felt it right along with her. She stood there as her own personal nightmare drifted around her like a storm cloud waiting to shoot lightning.

  So many times, Jenna had repeated to herself that she wasn’t her mother. But this time, she actually believed it. She also knew she’d never give up hope for Miranda, either. She was letting it go. Sure, she was nervous and about ready to burst into a panic attack, but she loved her mother. And she always would. The battle to get her sober wouldn’t end. Jenna would keep fighting, but in the meantime, she had to make peace with herself. Mirada showed up and was sitting quietly. That was a start.

  Jenna looked at Yvonne and knew she was seeing the same thing. It was no secret that Jenna didn’t particularly do well with her mother in the same room. But while Jenna felt like throwing up, Yvonne looked like she was about to throw a party. There would be no graceful way out of this.

  “I’m so sorry, everyone.” Yvonne picked up Flo’s microphone and spoke to the crowd. “Before the school board votes, I just thought that you should know the kind of people who are running for this job.”

  Oh, God…

  Jenna’s throat closed. She tried to brace herself for what was coming next. But a part of her wanted to run, hide, or maybe just burst into tears. Too much was being thrown at once. Like watching a slow-moving train carrying a whole heap of manure barreling straight for you. She needed to gain her control. She would handle what was coming, but first she needed to find her center and breathe.

  Jenna frantically looked around, trying to focus on something, anything to cool her nerves. Her eyes landed on the exit and she saw Colt. He walked through the double doors and leaned against the back wall, next to a crowd of people.

  He came.

  So much hope and happiness surged through her chest that Jenna thought her lungs might burst. He didn’t look angry. Instead, he simply smiled and winked at her. Offering his support. Despite everything that had happened, all the things she wished she could have said, done differently, he was still there. For her.

  Instantly, Jenna felt an ounce of strength. Penny and Lily were right. The only people who had power over her were those she allowed to. And Colt was that person. Not Yvonne, not her mother, not even her own negativity. Not anymore.

  Jenna was done hiding. Done running. She wouldn’t let Yvonne, or anyone else, make what she and Colt shared into something shameful.

  “The person who runs this program is going to be overseeing children of all ages after school.” Yvonne looked right at Jenna. “That person should, in my opinion, be an upstanding citizen. So I just wouldn’t feel right proceeding with this without revealing exactly what kind of ‘teacher’ Miss Justice is.”

  Jenna forced her knees to remain locked and waited for Yvonne to finish.

  “Miss Justice not only misses important meetings regarding students, but when school was still in session, Mr. Colt McCade came into Miss Justice’s classroom during school hours, and while the children were at recess, they engaged in fornication.”

  Voices instantly broke out. Jenna’s chest constricted. Everyone was talking over each other.

  “Quiet!” Flo Taylor yelled. “In light of this information we have no choice—”

  “No.” Jenna blurted out. She looked at Colt. His face was pale and he looked as bad as Jenna felt. “You will not pass judgment on me without hearing what I have to say.”

  …

  Colt pushed past the crowd surrounding him, trying to get to JJ. “That’s not—”

  JJ held up a hand to him and shook her head, cutting him off mid-sentence. He would yell, lie, even wage war to keep JJ from losing this. Heading up the after-school program was her dream, and he would not stand there while it crumbled—because of him.

  He came back because he loved her, and even if he didn’t fi
t into her world, or she didn’t want him back, he had to make this right.

  “Colt.” She looked him dead in the eye. “No.”

  Shit! He palmed the bill of his hat. He didn’t know what to do. He felt like a goddamn caged animal. He needed to fix this. To help. But the look on Jenna’s face and the tone in her voice halted him.

  He had no choice but to trust her and watch in horror as the woman he loved faced down not only both Taylor women and the town, but her own personal hell come to life.

  JJ straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin in the air, and addressed the crowd of people.

  “The accusations against me are completely false.” She looked from one end of the bleachers to the other. “I’ll say that again. The accusations. Against me. Are completely false.”

  Colt couldn’t take his eyes from her face. He knew right then that she wasn’t going to say any more about it. She wasn’t going to defend herself and plead with anyone. She’d stated the facts, and that was it. Colt was in awe. The woman, his woman, had once again surprised him by her strength.

  Yvonne looked like a goddamn ostrich with her mouth all hanging open. “You missed the PTA meeting.”

  Jenna turned those stormy grays on the blonde and glared hard. Damn she was cute when she was pissed. Colt wanted to hoot, but he kept quiet.

  “You scheduled a meeting when I was out of town and didn’t inform me of it until five minutes ago.”

  Yvonne folded her arms across her chest and flicked her hip out. “So I suppose next you’re going to say that you never had a liaison with Colt McCade either?”

  Jenna looked at him and Colt’s chest slammed to a halt. His breathing, his heart, none of his damn organs seemed to work at that moment.

  “No. I’ve never had a liaison with Colt McCade, and certainly not inside the school.” A bitter taste rose in his throat. But then she walked straight up to him. Never taking those gray eyes from his, she said loudly, “He is mine and I’m in love with him.”