by Yusuke Kishi
After we ate, we sat around the fire and took turns talking about what happened while we had been separated. Shun, Maria and Mamoru’s story was completely unexciting. After Satoru and I had been captured by the Ground Spiders, they followed in an attempt to rescue us, but soon realized that there were too many guards and decided to go back to the village for help. They tried to travel during the day, but were so startled by the sounds of war that they spent most of their time hiding in the bushes. When everything fell silent at night, they crossed hurried toward Kasumiga Bay. When we caught up with them, they were so overjoyed that, in Maria’s words, “I thought I was being tricked by a tanuki.”10
In contrast, our story kept them mesmerized the entire time. They questioned us relentlessly about when we were in the Ground Spider’s cage and the part where we killed the sentry, but fell silent when we started talking about the Robber Flies being attacked and how we wandered through the underground tunnels. They cheered when Satoru miraculously recovered his powers at the last minute and launched an all-out counterattack, but went fell silent again in mute amazement as the situation evolved beyond their wildest imagination.
Since Satoru was the storyteller, I was left to correct and supplement his story. Satoru prided himself on being a talented storyteller, but he usually bluffed so much that I thought I would have to retell half the story. It was a needless worry. The three of them listened like a group of children, with their mouths half open and eyes shining with amazement.
There was silence when Satoru finished his tale, filled with only the sound of the crackling flames. Then someone opened their mouth and the dam was released. Among all the questions thrown at us, the one everyone was most interested in was why we had been so keen on running away from Kiroumaru when he had protected us.
Satoru explained again. I was prepared for a violent response to the news that we had probably been marked for elimination by the Ethics Committee, but they took it rather well. It helped that Shun seemed to agree with me that Satoru was over-thinking the whole thing. Plus, we were all in such a good mood right now that the shock was diminished. If everything went as Shun said, we would be able to hide everything about Rijin sealing our cantus. The most we would have to endure was a scolding from our teacher.
“Saki, I’m counting on you,” Shun passed me a scrap of paper. “Please restore my cantus.”
I took a deep breath and nodded.
I unfolded the paper and read it by the light of the campfire. It was a rather long mantra, a total of eight phrases, or thirty-six characters. I had planned on burning the note as soon as I read it, but with a mantra this long, I wasn’t positive I could remember it. I crumpled the note in my hand.
It’s okay. I can do it. I just have to repeat what I did to Satoru. I tried calming myself with these words. In reality though, there are three major differences in these two instances. For one, Shun was completely conscious. Furthermore, he’d be fully aware that I would be hypnotizing him, and he already knew his mantra. But I didn’t think of any of this at the time.
“Look at the flames.”
I called up my memories of the initiation ceremony, and directed Shun’s attention to the campfire. Head Priest Mushin had told me to imagine moving the flames, but it probably wouldn’t have the same effect on someone whose cantus had been sealed.
“Look at the flickering flame. Right. Left. Swaying…flickering,” I whispered.
Shun kept silent. The other three watched me with bated breath.
I stirred the fire with a long branch, scattering bright sparks. I wasn’t expecting it to replicate the same effect of the flames in the altar, but the sparks left traces in the air, creating a dreamy mood.
“Shun Aonuma.”
He didn’t move an inch. I couldn’t tell if he had been hypnotized or not.
“Shun Aonuma. You have broken the rules coming to a place you do not belong. Furthermore you have been swayed by the words of a demon. However, the real problem is much greater.”
There was no response.
“You have violated the foundation of the Code of Ethics, the last of the Ten Precepts, ‘do not desecrate the Three Jewels’. You have fallen for the words of a demon and questioned the teachings of Buddha. Therefore I must seal your cantus.”
I thought I heard Shun sigh. It seemed to be working. I continued a little uncertainly.
“Look at the flames once again.”
No answer.
“Look into the flames.”
There was still no response, but I could see the fire reflected in his eyes.
“Your cantus is sealed in that human emblem. Do you see it?”
A much louder sigh this time, then, “Yes.”
“The emblem is cast into the fire. Everything is burned away. All your worldly desires are burned away, and the ashes return to the vast, wild earth.” I took a deep breath and said loudly, “The emblem has been eradicated. Your cantus is now sealed!”
A small choked sound came from the back of Shun’s throat. His breathing sped up.
“Cast aside your worldly desires. To reach nirvana, cast everything into the cleansing flame.”
It was time. I stood up and went closer to him.
“Shun Aonuma. In your devotion to Buddha, you have abandoned your cantus. By the compassion of Buddha, you will receive a new mantra, a new spirit, and your cantus will be returned to you!”
I hit him on the shoulders and whispered the words written on the paper, “Oṃ amogha vairocana mahâmudrâ maṇipadma jvâla pravarttaya hûṃ.”
Later I found out that these words came from the Buddha himself; it was the Mantra of Light. This alone was a clear indicator of Shun’s talents. He was born with the expectation of becoming a future leader.
Suddenly the fire flared up to three times its previous size and fanned out like an eight-headed serpent, twisting and meandering through the air like some strange dance.
Shun was smiling, looking up at the fire. We broke into applause, clapping, stamping, and whistling. The cheering didn’t stop for a long time. Shun had recovered his cantus.
Part III: Deep Autumn
Chapter 1
We spent a sleepless night on the rocky banks of the river. As tired as we were, there was a lingering unease in our minds that prevented us from falling asleep. Still, we managed to doze off enough to recover a bit of energy.
The next day, we set off as soon as the sun rose. As we traveled downstream, I realized that our camp had been right next to Kamisu 66. It was so close that we didn’t really need to stop last night. But given our condition yesterday, maybe it was a good idea we hadn’t continued.
In the morning sun, the Tone River glittered a dazzling gold, as if celebrating our return. What happened to the black river of Hades we had been struggling with just a few hours earlier?
We stopped paddling and let the current carry us along.
The scenery gradually became more familiar. Although I was eager to go home, the closer we got to town, the more apprehensive I felt.
I was sure that we would be met with an entourage of boats to take us in, but didn’t see anyone even as we passed Ikisu Shrine.
With such an anticlimactic response, we relaxed considerably.
Though maybe we should have been more alarmed. It was actually very unusual to not see a single boat this early in the morning.
As we arrived in Hayring at the dock we had set out from four days ago, someone finally came out to greet us.
“You’re back early.”
It was the Sun Prince, also known as Mr. Endou. His bushy beard concealed his face in such a way that I couldn’t tell if he was smiling that we were back safe or scowling at us for breaking the rules. Quitting partway through the weeklong camp wasn’t that unusual; it was the reason for quitting that was the issue.
“Sorry. Some unbelievable things happened…” Shun said in a choked voice.
The rest of us nearly started crying.
“Well, well, let’s talk
about this later, okay? Dock the canoes for now.”
We held back our tears and went ashore. The ropes tying our equipment undid themselves and our supplies flew through the air to line up neatly on the dock.
“Oh, we’ll do it,” Satoru said.
The Sun Prince shook his head, “It’s alright. You’re all tired, aren’t you? Anyway, you should get to the children’s center. Breakfast is being served soon.”
I vaguely wondered why we had to go to the children’s center. It was right next to the docks and had a resting area as well as rooms for overnight stays, but none of us had set foot in it after graduating from Harmony School.
“Sir, we’d really like to go home…” Shun spoke for all of us.
“Ah, yes, I understand. But before that there are some things we need to ask you about.”
“Can’t we go home and rest for a bit?” Maria pleaded.
I was dying to take a bath, but the Sun Prince was adamant.
“Listen to me, okay? Don’t forget that you guys have broken some serious rules. I know you’re tired, but we have to take care of important things first.”
He was smiling as kindly as ever but the tip of his nose glistened with sweat.
“I understand.”
We shuffled toward the children’s center.
“Saki, what do you think about this?” Satoru muttered in my ear.
“‘Bout what?”
“The Sun Prince’s face is all stiff. And isn’t it weird how he’s forcing us to go to the children’s center?”
“Yeah, but the entire situation is weird…”
I was so numb from fatigue that I felt disconnected from my body. Satoru was annoying me asking such obvious questions. Yes, it was weird. What the hell did he want me to do about it?
Shun opened the glass door with his cantus. I was extremely grateful to him for this. No doubt he was just as tired as the rest of us and would have preferred opening the door manually instead of using even more energy to concentrate his cantus, but he wanted to show the Sun Prince, and anyone else who was watching, that we had not all lost our powers.
As the Sun Prince said, breakfast was being prepared. There were pots of warm rice, salted salmon, tiger crab miso soup, raw eggs, seaweed, salad, and preserved kelp. Even dessert, brown sugar jelly, was in the works.
I was suddenly starving. We filled our bowls and started eating voraciously.
For a while, we were silent.
“We actually made it back okay…” Mamoru said earnestly.
“Okay? We don’t know what’ll happen later on,” Satoru said darkly.
“But we’re back, in any case,” Maria put her hand on Mamoru’s shoulder.
I agreed with the two of them. “Yeah, we might have over-thought the whole thing.”
“What do you mean?” Maria asked.
“Well, even after learning all those horrible things from the false minoshiro, nothing’s happened…”
“Sh!” Shun cut me off. “Someone might be listening.”
“Oh, sorry.” I clamped my mouth shut. For some reason I was feeling happy and talkative.
“Wait. Maybe…in this,” Shun eyed his half-finished breakfast with extreme distrust.
As if by telepathy, we all understood what he was thinking.
Could they have put something in the food? Something that would relax us and make us spill everything we were hiding.
Satoru pointed decisively at the bowl of jelly. While everyone else had been eating the main portion of their breakfast, I had been unable to wait and already started on dessert. It did have a slight alcoholic smell, but there could be other drugs mixed in as well.
“Hah?”
As our attention was on the bowl of jelly, Mamoru looked out the window and made a strange sound.
“What happened?”
Ignoring Maria’s questions, he started toward the window. At that instant, I saw a large shadow flicker across the window.
Mamoru pressed his face to the glass and peered outside. He turned back. There was a bone-chilling look of fear on his face I had never seen before.
The clock chimed eight times. I realized something strange. Even though it was already eight in the morning, I didn’t hear any children around. And I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. We were still the only ones at the center.
The heavy silence continued. Mamoru still refused to say what he had seen.
“Thanks for waiting, you guys,” the Sun Prince came in through the door, along with a middle-aged couple I recognized but had never spoken to.
I was sure they were also from the Board of Education.
“I see you’ve finished breakfast? If you’re tired, we can rest a while,” the woman said, smiling. The forced smile magnified the horse-like features of her mouth.
“Starting now, you will be interviewed one at a time. So, who will go first?”
No one spoke.
“Come now, what’s wrong? Team one is supposed to be the most assertive team. Aren’t you always the first to answer questions in class?” the Sun Prince said, sounding cheerful as always. But his eyes weren’t smiling.
In the end, we went by seat number. Shun Aonuma, Maria Akizuki, Satoru Asahina, Mamoru Itou, and me, Saki Watanabe.
Until then I had never noticed the row of small, two-tatami rooms at the back of the children’s center. We went in one at a time, accompanied by the two interviewers.
…I’ve been thinking about what had happened then, but strangely enough, I can’t remember a single thing. In the ancient psychology books, this is called lacunar amnesia. Satoru doesn’t remember much either. The only thing I can recall is being offered a really bitter tea. So that, plus whatever was in the jelly, made it more of a drugged interrogation than an interview.
In any case, we all finished the “interview” and were allowed to go home. According to Shun’s plan, Mamoru, Maria, and I were supposed to pretend to be sick as an excuse to go straight to our rooms. But that turned out to be unnecessary, since all three of us developed a high fever that day and were confined to bed.
My fever abated after a day or two, but my parents forced to me rest more, so I spent about a week lazing around in my pajamas. Since I couldn’t meet up with the other two, I dug up the charm hidden under the floorboards to find my mantra.
I felt the rush of victory as I chanted my mantra and unsealed my cantus. After all, I had succeeded in fooling all the adults and recovered my god-like power.
I never could have imagined how mistaken I was.
To a forty-year-old adult, two years might not be a big deal. At most, their hair might become a little grayer, their bodies a little stiffer, a little heavier, or their breath a little shorter. That’s what happens to most in two year’s time.
But for twelve-year-old children of any era, drastic changes can happen within two years.
For me, being fourteen was more than just growing five centimeters and gaining six kilograms. Or for boys, an even more radical thirteen centimeters and ten kilograms. That’s just on the outside. There were changes within us as well.
I gradually became accustomed to looking up to Satoru and Shun. It wasn’t a bad thing, but was a surprise to me. Ever since I could remember, they were my good friends as well as competitors, but at some point, they became something else. And it was a completely natural change.
When I came to realize it, I was far behind them, chasing after their retreating figures. It was a strange sight, tinged with an unexplainable feeling.
No, I know exactly what it was. Jealousy.
Since the beginning Shun has always been special to me. I couldn’t tear my eyes from him that day as the sun set over the field and the wind ruffled his hair. His clear voice and sparkling eyes never failed to enchant me. I always believed without a shadow of doubt that Shun and I would be together.
On the other hand, Satoru was as plain as you could get. I admit that he’s smart, but compared to Shun who overflowed with so much talent that you
could sense it in the air around him, Satoru was nothing special. Still, ever since we had survived the Ground Spider attack together, my view toward him has changed as well. He was always friendly and the most comfortable person for me to be around.
That’s why my jealousy was so complicated. Seeing them together made me feel left out.
But what had changed the most in the last two years was probably the relationship between Shun and Satoru. Although they were never on bad terms, Satoru always viewed Shun as something of a rival, and sometimes acted awkwardly around him.
However, his feelings toward Shun had changed completely these past two years. Before, he would always turn away from Shun’s bright smile, but now, more often than not, Satoru would smile back, gazing deep into Shun’s eyes.
I was always aware that I was in love with Shun. And I could clearly see the romantic feelings Satoru had when he hugged Shun.
On the other hand, I couldn’t tell what Shun thought of Satoru. Growing up with his good looks and intelligence, he was already used to people admiring him. So he had a calm, or to put it bluntly, a certain tolerant attitude toward his admirers. But watching the two of them, it wasn’t just Satoru blindly longing for Shun. I would say that even though Satoru was the proactive one, Shun did seem to accept his feelings.
The final conclusion came from what I saw one day in the field. I suddenly spotted the two of them walking along like lovers, hand in hand, unaware of the world around them.
I turned on my heel and made to leave. But my curiosity betrayed me and I found myself following them at a distance. I knew I would be hurt if I saw them being intimate, but I couldn’t stop myself.
Once out of sight of the village, the two began frolicking like puppies. Or to be specific, Satoru pranced around Shun, hugging him from behind. I was suddenly keenly aware that I would love to have been born a boy. If I had been, Shun would choose me over Satoru in a heartbeat.
The Ethics Committee and Board of Education were extremely strict about relations between adolescent boys and girls. So for kids of our age, we were limited to strictly platonic relationships with the opposite sex.
