by Natalie Ann
She didn’t have to worry though when he said, “How would you like to get dinner sometime?”
“I’d like that. I could try to find a sitter one night or...”
“Or what? I don’t mind having Kayla around. She’s cute and entertaining. Unless you think it’d be confusing for her?”
“No. I think she understands. I was actually going to suggest that maybe I could cook dinner for you one night. You’ve been really nice and helpful to me. Not everyone always is.”
When she was here all by herself, pregnant and alone, no one really reached out to her. No one really made her feel welcome. She had to do it all on her own. It was probably best though and taught her that she could do it. She didn’t need anyone.
More people reached out in the beginning after Ethan died. More staff from the Navy. Support groups, other wives. But people come and go and she found herself alone again. Thankfully Nancy was a few houses down and almost took the role of a mother in Shelby’s eyes. She’d be lost without Nancy.
It was just nice to have someone else right now. Sometimes it was tiring being alone with everything on her shoulders and having no one to lean on. No one else to really talk to. The girls at work were nice, but they didn’t understand. Women her age were out having fun.
No one had a child.
No one was a widow.
“I’d like that a lot. Since you’ll be doing the cooking, why don’t you tell me what works for you?”
“How does this Friday sound? I get out of work at four, so maybe dinner at six?”
“This Friday at six sounds great. It’s a date.”
She hopped out of his SUV and walked over to the driver’s side, where he rolled the window down to see her standing there, a big smile on his face now. Probably the one matching hers. He put one forearm on the frame and turned to face her completely, giving her a nice up-close view of his clean-shaven face. He really was one handsome man.
“A date?” she asked. “Just so you know, in case you want to change your mind, it’s the first one I’ve had in four years.”
His smile never wavered. “Then I’ll consider myself pretty darn lucky.”
He shifted his arm and held his palm up, making her wonder what she was supposed to do. She slapped it and he burst out laughing again. “Sorry. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.”
“Do you know your accent gets thicker when you’re flustered?”
She knew that. It was because she wasn’t trying so hard to keep it back. “Yeah.”
He winked at her. “It’s adorable. I’ll see you in two days.”
She smiled and watched him drive away. She was going on a date!
It Was Enough
Shelby finished up her last client for the day. Mrs. Dupree came in every six weeks for a facial with a hand and foot paraffin wax. She was on the high side of sixty and barely looked a day over fifty. She claimed staying out of the sun and facials maintained her healthy glow. Shelby thought there was more to it, like maybe a bit of Botox here and there, but she looked the other way and let Mrs. Dupree have her say.
After all, Mrs. Dupree was her biggest tipper too.
“Shelby, darling, you need to find yourself some nice man to take care of you. You’ve got the gentlest touch.”
Shelby laughed. “And that means I need a man in my life?”
“Well, I don’t care what men say, they like a woman with a gentle touch. They like someone to take care of them. Not all men like to be the provider and the caretaker.”
Since Mrs. Dupree was on her fourth husband, Shelby wasn’t going to dispute her there, even if she didn’t agree. She was her own provider and the caretaker now.
“You think I’m being silly, don’t you?”
“Not at all,” Shelby said, massaging the exfoliate into Mrs. Dupree’s forehead. She liked talking with her clients. Hearing about their lives, living a bit through them.
She’d never be able to afford these treatments in her life. Not enough money or time. She was glad she could do them to herself now or she and the girls traded off on their downtime, practicing new treatments or tricks, even products.
“I’ve lost three husbands, darling. Each one broke my heart. I loved them so much. They provided great lives for me, and I cared for them in return. The same as I am with my current love, Larry.”
Shelby didn’t know that about Mrs. Dupree. “What happened to them, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Not at all. My first husband had a heart attack at forty. He was fifteen years older than me. I guess you could say I’ve got some daddy issues.” Mrs. Dupree stopped and laughed. “Husband number two was ten years older. He had an accident at work. So sad. That one hit me the hardest. I knew my first husband had a heart condition, but a sudden death is the worst.”
“Yeah,” Shelby said. It wasn’t about her. She very rarely talked about her personal life. Not in detail.
“My third husband lost his life to cancer. We had time to prepare, but it was still so hard to watch him suffer in the end.”
“How much older is Mr. Dupree?” Shelby saw the trend here.
“He’s twelve years older than me. I never thought I’d find love again. But you know what, it’s always out there for you if you just open yourself up.”
At four o’clock Shelby was showing Mrs. Dupree to the door with a hefty tip in her pocket, the conversation still floating around in her head.
She’d never shut herself off to finding love again. She just didn’t think much about it at all.
Ethan had been her savior. She was so thankful for him, for the life he gave her for the short time they were together. That love, it was a love of gratitude, but it was enough. It fulfilled her.
For the two years that she and Ethan were married, they’d barely spent more than six months together. When they were together, they made the most of it and were like newlyweds more often than not.
She’d needed someone to take her away from the life she had with her family, and Ethan wanted someone to care for him when he was home. Someone to send him letters and talk to him when he was away. To let him know he was loved and thought of. Missed even.
He was eight years older than her and all alone in the world. She was eighteen and ready to escape. They found solace in each other.
She wasn’t going to think of Ethan tonight though. She still grieved for him at times. He gave her a stable and secure life when they were married and that was what she was striving for.
Now she knew she could be fine on her own. Now she wanted to feel like a woman. She was twenty-three years old and ready for something, or someone.
Whether it was Jared or not, she didn’t know and wasn’t even focusing on that. What she was focusing on was just putting herself out there and trying. She had to start somewhere. Why not start with someone that actually made her feel pretty? Made her feel almost...special.
She’d never felt special a day in her life. Not even when she was married to Ethan.
***
“I’m not too early, am I?” Jared asked when he knocked on Shelby’s door a few minutes before six. Once classes were out he’d gone back to his office, finished up all his work for the weekend, then went home and showered.
He was trying to burn time, but nothing was working. He ended up sitting on his couch flipping through channels, then watching the news. Finally, he left and made a quick stop at the florist. He wasn’t sure he’d ever bought flowers before for a date. But she said it was the first one she’d had in four years and he just felt like it was the thing to do.
“Not at all. Come on in. Are those for me?” she asked, her eyes dropping to the bouquet of tulips. She seemed like a tulip type of girl, not roses. Too fancy and sophisticated for her. He liked that she was more casual and easygoing. Bright and cheerful even.
“These are,” he said. “The balloon is for Kayla.”
She looked up at the balloon like she hadn’t noticed it before. He felt a little silly doing it, but whe
n Shelby smiled and then giggled, he knew he made the right choice by including her daughter.
“Kayla,” Shelby said. “Come see what Jared brought you.”
He could see Kayla standing in front of the TV watching some dancing characters and looking like she was trying to mirror their moves.
Kayla turned and ran toward him. “Jay,” she said. “Balloon?”
He squatted down to get eye level with her. “Yes. This is for you.” He handed the balloon over and watched her run around the living room with it flowing around behind her like a kite in the wind, her bare toes eating up the carpet she was circling, carefree giggles sounding all around. Loud enough he heard them clearly.
“That was very sweet of you.”
He wasn’t sure of the last time he’d been sweet or that anyone told him he was. Or that he wanted to be.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked.
“Not at all. Come on in. I just thought I’d grill some burgers, if that’s okay. I should have asked if there was anything you didn’t like but took a guess that burgers would be fine.”
“It didn’t have anything to do with the fact I was eating one at the restaurant that day?”
“There was that too,” she said smiling. “Maybe I’ll find out more about what you like today?”
“We can do that,” he said, looking forward to just talking with her. Again, something he’d never thought of much with another woman before.
“So you don’t have to wear a uniform on off hours?” she asked him.
He’d changed into shorts and a T-shirt. “No. I’ve got a little bit more leeway in my attire at the Academy, but I keep it simple.”
“It’s a good look on you,” she said, dipping her head, like she was afraid to say what she did, but was dying to. He was glad she did.
He followed her into the kitchen. The house was small enough that he found himself hunching over in the doorway, almost afraid he’d hit his head.
Everything was neat and clean, organized like the best drill sergeant. There were three big thick homemade burgers on a sheet pan and one tiny one he was guessing was Kayla’s. She was just wrapping up a plate of sliced tomatoes and some leaves of lettuce, then sliding it in the fridge.
“Jared?” she said, standing back up and looking at him.
“What?” he asked, surprised at the confused look on her face.
“I asked if I could get you a beer? Or water, soda? What did you want to drink?”
He hadn’t heard her. She was to his left and she was facing the inside of the fridge. He tried not to feel the heat creep up his neck. Kayla’s giggles were background noise blocking out Shelby’s soft voice. “Sorry, didn’t hear you when you were facing in the fridge like that.” It wasn’t a lie.
“Oh,” she said, smiling. “I was clanging bottles around in there moving things and my voice probably got muffled. Not to mention Kayla making enough noise for the neighborhood to hear her.”
He could correct her but didn’t. No reason to right now. “A beer sounds good.”
“I took a guess.”
She pulled out a bottle of a middle-of-the-road craft beer. “That works,” he said.
She handed him a bottle opener and a glass, then poured herself a glass of ice tea from a pitcher. “I’ve got the grill on right now. It’s probably ready for the burgers. I can see Kayla from the doorway if you don’t mind coming out on the deck with me while I cook.”
“Not at all.” He followed her out the back door and the deck wasn’t much more than an eight by eight square. Enough for a tiny table and four chairs under an umbrella. A smaller table than what was in her kitchen.
“It’s tight back here, and a little warm, so I figured we’d eat in the kitchen with the AC on.”
“Whatever is easiest for you. Are you sure I can’t help? Maybe I can watch these if you need to do something in the house?”
“Do you know how to cook? I don’t want them burned,” she said, tilting her head and smirking at him.
“I’m a guy. I can grill anything. Go do what you need to. I can handle this.”
He finished the burgers up while drinking his beer and found the domestic setting was calming. Calmer than he’d felt in years. Almost like when his father would grill and his mother got the rest of the dinner ready.
Pushing the back door open, he saw the table all set and Kayla in the kitchen climbing into her booster chair. “Perfect timing,” Shelby said. “I’ve been keeping an eye on you out of the window and figured it was almost time. I made a pasta salad and have some corn on the cob. A simple meal.”
“Those are the best kind,” he said.
“I’m not used to fancy dinners. Simple works. Nice hardy food.”
“I’m a big guy. Fancy and dainty food just doesn’t cut it for me.”
She smiled at him again. He could lose himself in that smile. In her eyes. In every part of her and suddenly he was finding he had nerves after all. Questions and doubts in his mind. Afraid that he might hurt her and it was the last thing he’d ever want to do. Maybe he wasn’t ready to bring someone else into his life right now. Maybe he needed to not be so much of who he really was, but rather feel her out for everyone’s sake.
A Mutual Need
“So Kentucky, huh? Is that where you met your husband?” Jared asked her.
They were sitting at her little table eating dinner. Kayla was chatting away while she picked up pieces of her cut-up burger. Shelby knew she was eying the corn on the cob, waiting for when she was told it would be cool enough for her to pick it up with her little plastic holders and munch into it.
“Kind of. He was from Colorado.” She was debating how much to say. Did she really want to admit how she met Ethan? Then again, it wasn’t that big of a deal. It was common enough now.
And she liked Jared. A lot. She’d never experienced a crush before in her life. She wondered if this was what one felt like.
“Kind of?” he asked, helping himself to more pasta salad. There was a nice gratifying feeling that she was feeding him and he was devouring it. Helping himself to more. He was eying the extra burger like Kayla was her corn.
She pushed the plate toward him. “Please. Eat it. I can barely get through one of these, but they’re just too yummy to resist.”
He grinned and helped himself. “What’s in the beef? I can’t pick it out, but it tastes so good.”
“Thank you. I like spicing food up. Experimenting. Just some seasonings and some Worcestershire sauce to make them moist.”
Food was pretty plain and simple in her house as a kid, when someone was around to cook it. It usually ended up being her. She found if she didn’t do something with it, the younger ones wouldn’t eat much and it wasn’t worth fighting with them and agitating anyone in the house. Nor did she want them punished. She found a way to protect them as best she could.
“So back to how you met your husband. If you want to answer. If it’s too painful, we can drop it. I don’t mean to be nosy,” he said, pausing, like he just realized he might be overstepping himself.
“It’s not painful at all. I’ve grieved, and I can talk about him.”
She often wondered if she’d grieved enough or not. There were just so many things to focus on when Ethan died. She was seven months pregnant and caring for herself and her unborn daughter, that had to come first.
Survival of the fittest. She knew that well enough. Find a way to survive, that’s why she left way back then the minute she could.
“Okay. I just don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“You aren’t.” She stopped talking and turned to Kayla, picked up the corn and handed it to her daughter, then watched as she smiled bright and sunk her tiny teeth in. Shelby learned it was best to let Kayla try to gnaw as much of it off as she could until she got frustrated and wanted it cut off. Temper tantrums just weren’t worth some things. “I met Ethan on a dating website.”
He started to cough. Okay, maybe she should fe
el embarrassed. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t expect that. You seem pretty young.”
Guess she should explain. “I was eighteen. I was in high school, but had turned eighteen that January.”
“There were no boys in school that you were interested in so you looked online?”
She had to hide it from her father. They weren’t allowed to date. Not to have friends over. Not to do a heck of a lot in the house. They had to be home at a certain time too. Her father was strict. She only got away with it because she had a part-time job and paid for her own pre-paid phone with a data plan that she hid from everyone in the house.
“Not really. It’s a small community. I just wanted to move away. It seemed the best way to find someone out of the area.”
“Was he in the Navy at that point?”
“He was. Twenty-six. Yes, eight years older than me. He knew my age; I didn’t lie to him at all. He had been in group homes and shelters and didn’t have any family. When he turned eighteen, he enlisted.”
“How often did you two get to talk?”
“Not a lot, but enough. I was a friendly face for him. I’d send him cards and letters and packages. Messages when he was out to sea. Things that kept him going.”
She and Ethan filled a void in each other’s lives. A mutual need and it worked for them.
“It can be hard not having anyone. I know when I was away I loved getting letters from home. Calls from my parents and siblings.”
“So you understand.”
“I do. So you are twenty...”
“I turned twenty-three a few months ago. And you?” she asked, angling her head to the side.
“Just turned thirty.”
“Does it bother you that I’m only twenty-three?”
“Not at all. I knew you were younger, just didn’t know how young.”
“I’m afraid I couldn’t pull off older and mature if I wanted to.”
