by Hannah Ellis
Telling me to think of the girls didn’t sit well with me. After so long of only thinking of the girls, I refused to let him make me feel guilty for having a day to myself. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hung up and wondered if that would end up being a lie.
“Everything okay?” Matt asked, returning from the hall, where he’d been hovering.
“Fine, thanks,” I said, passing him his phone.
We ate from trays on our knees and spent the evening chatting and reminiscing. They filled me in on their wedding plans, their jobs, their lives – which were hurtling forward while mine stood still. I drank half my wine before stopping, in case I turned into an emotional wreck and blubbed to Chrissie and Matt.
I managed to push thoughts of Adam and the girls from my mind until I went up to bed. It was strange not to look in on the girls before I turned in. Weirder still that I crawled under the covers knowing that my favourite five-year-old wouldn’t intrude on my space during the night. I was suddenly free – but felt anything but.
Climbing back out of bed, I fumbled in my bag for my phone, and read the last message from Adam. It told me he loved me and asked me to come home. I left a note in the kitchen and crept out into the night to make the drive home in the darkness.
The house was still when I eased the door open. I’d expected Adam to be on the couch, but there was no sign of him. Our bed was empty, so I glanced into the girls’ rooms, only to find more vacant beds. I wondered briefly if they’d gone to stay with Ruth. Hearing muffled voices, I followed the sound downstairs and through the kitchen to the back door.
Three faces turned to look at me when I opened the door. Emily’s damp eyes glistened in the moonlight and she clung to Adam, in the exact same position she’d been in when I last saw her. Adam’s eyes flashed with relief.
“We don’t know which one’s Mum,” Hailey told me sadly. She was leaning against the house, peering up at the sky.
Emily reached for me and I took her from Adam, savouring the feel of her arms around my neck.
“The three stars are right there.” I pointed them out to her. “See? The one in the middle.”
“Where’s Daddy?” Emily asked.
“Just to the left.” I moved my arm accordingly, peering up at the clear sky with them.
“What about Grandpa Tom?” Hailey said.
“He’s there.” My voice caught in my throat. “Just to the right.”
Adam moved behind me, his arms encircling Emily and me, and his head resting on my free shoulder. I took his hand and held it tightly over my heart as I pulled him closer to me.
Chapter 20
We never got around to talking things through. Adam made a brief effort to be more attentive and Hailey seemed to soften slightly. Swept away with the monotony of life, we slipped back into our routines.
It was a Tuesday afternoon and I was just leaving work when I got a phone call from Hailey’s school saying there’d been an incident, and I had to go to the main office when I collected Hailey.
I walked against the flow of school kids and through the main doors of the old stone building. Ivy crept around the entrance and I pulled myself up to my full height, trying not to be intimidated by the place. I walked down the long corridor to the office and knocked on the door.
Charlotte Bainbridge, the tall, blonde, head teacher, greeted me and I reached to shake Mrs Chapman’s hand. She was Hailey’s form teacher. Hailey sat slumped in a chair and didn’t look up. I took a seat beside her.
“Sorry to call you in like this,” Mrs Chapman said. “But we thought it was better to deal with this immediately.”
“Okay,” I replied uncertainly. ‘What’s happened?’
“We had an incident in the last lesson today. Hailey got into an argument with three other girls.”
I nodded and waited for her to go on.
“We were concerned by how aggressive and abusive Hailey became.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling apprehensive. “What were they arguing about?”
“The other girls said that Hailey started shouting at them for no reason,” Mrs Chapman said. “I have to say I was shocked by her outburst.”
“I don’t think Hailey would shout at anyone for no reason.” I looked from the teachers to Hailey, who kept her head down.
“Hailey told me the girls were annoying her,” Mrs Chapman said, glancing at the head teacher with a look of impatience.
“Well, what were they doing to annoy her?” I asked.
Mrs Bainbridge sat up straighter. “The girls said they weren’t doing anything and that Hailey simply – in their words – flipped out.”
I shook my head, trying to make sense of what had happened. “So what did Hailey say to them?”
The teachers glanced at each other and Mrs Chapman shifted in her seat. “We’re not sure, but it was clearly offensive.”
“I’m sorry, I’m confused. You’re not sure what she said? I thought you’d seen what happened?”
“Hailey was speaking French when she had her little outburst,” the headmistress told me.
A laugh escaped me before I could stop it. “So you’re telling me that you don’t actually know what Hailey said to the girls? You have no idea if she was being offensive. And you don’t seem to know what the girls did to upset Hailey in the first place.”
“The three other girls involved all said this was an entirely unprovoked incident,” Mrs Chapman said.
“I’m sure they did!” I looked at Hailey and squeezed her hand. “What happened, Hailey?”
She didn’t say anything, so I asked again.
“They’re always mean,” she mumbled. “I told you before.”
My chest tightened as a tear dropped from her cheek onto her skirt. “Tell me what happened today.” I pulled her chin gently, forcing her to look at me and willed her to talk, to give me some ammunition.
She kept her eyes on me when she spoke, trying unsuccessfully to control her emotions. “They always call me a frog and tell me I should go back to France. They say mean things to me all the time. They try and trip me, and shove me when I walk past them.” She swallowed hard and her chin wobbled. “Today they called me an orphan frog. An ugly orphan frog. I’d just had enough of them, so I shouted at them to stop.” She looked down again. I swallowed the lump in my throat, clinging to her hand as I turned back to the teachers, who squirmed in their seats.
Mrs Chapman frowned uncomfortably. “I’m sure they wouldn’t say something like that.”
“So you’re saying Hailey’s lying?” I raised my voice slightly and felt my heart beat faster.
“The other girls all said—”
“They would all say the same thing, wouldn’t they? They knew they’d be in trouble. They were bullying Hailey!” I shouted, struggling to keep my voice even.
“I think we should just calm down a bit,” Mrs Bainbridge said, her voice condescending.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s going to be possible,” I told her. “Where are these other girls now?”
“We addressed the issue with the girls and they’ve gone home.”
“Were their parents called in?”
“No,” Mrs Chapman said. “But I’m sure if you’d witnessed Hailey’s behavio—”
“Behaviour caused by bullying which you’ve failed to pick up on, and are now unwilling to acknowledge?” I took a deep breath. I was so angry: at the teachers for not seeing any of this and at myself for not listening to Hailey when she told me that the other kids were mean to her.
“I assure you we take bullying very seriously,” Mrs Bainbridge said.
“The reason we’re paying a fortune for Hailey to attend this school is because you convinced us you were best equipped to deal with her situation. As well as supporting her emotional needs, you also agreed to support her language abilities. I don’t feel that you’re supporting her at all, and today it seems as though she’s been punished for speaking French…”
“That’s not the case at all,” Mrs Bain
bridge told me. “We have a private tutor specifically to support Hailey with French.”
“And when does this extra tutoring happen?”
The teachers glanced at each other, looking slightly confused. It was Mrs Chapman who spoke. “Hailey has three tutoring sessions a week.”
“Yes, but when do they take place? What is she missing?”
“She does it during break-time,” Mrs Bainbridge informed me.
“So she is penalised for her language abilities. She misses three breaks a week.” I’d known about this, and had an issue with it for a long time, but had never had a chance to voice it, since Ruth didn’t think it was a problem. “I’ve also spoken to the school before about Hailey’s lack of friends, and you told me everything was fine and it may just take some time for her to settle. But that’s clearly not the case.” I stood up, needing to get out before I lost control and started shouting abuse at them. If only I could shout at them in French, like Hailey had!
“Mrs Lewis, if you could please sit down, we can get to the bottom of things.”
“It’s Miss Mitchell,” I corrected her, “and I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave. I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere with this today.”
“Miss Mitchell…”
“You’ve let a vulnerable child be bullied…” My voice was rising steadily. “And instead of investigating the matter properly, you’ve assumed she’s in the wrong. It seems that it’s not just the kids who are bullies around here. Come on, Hailey.” I pulled her gently out of her chair and ushered her into the hallway, ignoring the teachers’ protests. Hailey slipped her hand into mine and we walked quickly down the hall and out into the fresh air. We were halfway across the playground when she tugged on my arm to slow me down.
I turned to look at her tear-streaked face.
“Thank you for sticking up for me.”
“Of course I would stick up for you,” I snapped, my emotions taking over. “What did you think I would do? I will always stick up for you, and maybe if you could stop hating me for five minutes you might see that.”
“I don’t hate you.” Her words were garbled by her sobs. “I asked you if I could change schools and you said no.”
“I said you could move in September.”
“I told you that was too long,” she cried. She had – she’d told me exactly that and I’d ignored her concerns, hushed her protests. I should have listened to her and found out what was really going on.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”
“I want my mum,” she sobbed, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I just want my mum.”
“I know,” I said, holding her and stroking her hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“Gran said I can’t move schools. Even in September. I asked her and she said no.”
“It’s not your gran’s decision,” I told her. “I’ll talk to Adam again. I’ll sort everything out, I promise.”
An arm around her shoulder, we walked to the car. I glanced at her in the rear-view mirror when I started the engine. “We’ll get you into Havendon School,” I told her. “You’ll be with Imogen and Zac and you’ll make loads of new friends too.”
“I want my old friends,” she said and I turned to see fresh tears overflow from her eyes.
I reached back and squeezed her hand. “I know. I’m sorry.”
She’d kept in touch with a couple of girls at first. There’d been postcards and letters, but they grew less and less frequent until they had stopped altogether. “I’ll fix things,” I told her. “It’ll be okay.”
We drove in silence. When I looked back, Hailey was asleep, her head against the window. I pulled up in front of Angela’s house and got out, leaving Hailey asleep in the car.
“I need your help,” I told Angela when she opened the door, my voice quivering.
“Come in.” She put a hand out to me, concern on her face.
“I can’t; Hailey’s in the car. How long would it take to get her in to the local school?”
She stepped outside and put a hand on my arm. “What’s happened?”
“She hates the school. I think she might be being bullied. I can’t send her back there.”
“Okay.” Angela looked me in the eyes and I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “All the local kids are entitled to a place in the local school. Everyone expected Hailey to go there. They’ll gladly take her.”
“She can’t go back to her school,” I said, crying. “I can’t send her tomorrow.”
“Take her to Dr Griffin,” she said quickly. “Get her to agree she’s unfit to be in school this week. Then call Mrs Godfrey at Havendon Juniors. You’ll just need to transfer her records and she’ll be able to start immediately, I’m sure.”
“Okay,” I sniffed. “Thank you.”
“Does Ruth know?” she asked.
I wiped my eyes and shook my head.
“Adam?”
“No.” I laughed bitterly. “I’m in for a fun evening!”
“You know where I am if you need me.”
I thanked Angela again and hurried back to the car, feeling determined.
Chapter 21
“You’re late,” Ruth called when we walked through the front door. She was in the kitchen. The house was filled with a strong fishy aroma. Ruth made fish pie about once a month and nobody liked it.
“Hi,” I said, walking into the kitchen, ignoring her comment about us being late. “Hey, Emily.” I ruffled her hair.
“I’ve made fish pie,” Ruth said. “And I don’t want any arguments, Hailey. We’re all eating it.”
“Hailey doesn’t like fish pie,” I said as Hailey hovered quietly in the doorway.
“It’s good for her,” Ruth said.
“I don’t like it either,” Emily complained.
“I’ll just make some pasta for the kids.” I managed to sound confident and pulled a pan out of the cupboard.
“I’ve already cooked.” Ruth took the pan from me and put it away. “We’ll all eat fish pie.”
“I just won’t eat,” Hailey said calmly. “I’m going to my room.”
“You have to eat,” Ruth called after her. “Come back down here now.”
“Leave her,” I said, reaching for the pan again and filling it with water.
“They need fish in their diet,” Ruth said, raising her voice slightly.
“Not tonight they don’t.”
“So I spend the afternoon cooking and you just waltz in and say no one has to eat it?”
“Yes. I have waltzed into my own home and told the kids they don’t have to eat something I know they don’t like.” I glanced at Emily, who had her head in a colouring book.
“You know, it would be nice if you could show a little bit of appreciation for all I do around here,” Ruth said.
“Thank you for cooking,” I said through gritted teeth. “But I think we just need a bit of space tonight.”
“Excuse me?”
“We need some time to ourselves.”
“You’re kicking me out of my own home now?”
“No, I’m not.” I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her home, but I wasn’t feeling that brave. “I’m just asking for some space, that’s all.”
She glared at me as though she couldn’t believe her ears. “Well, I won’t stay where I’m not wanted.” She kissed Emily on the top of the head before storming out of the house. I resisted the urge to chase after her and apologise.
“So we’re not having fish pie?” Emily asked, looking at me with her big blue eyes.
“No, sweetheart. Not tonight.”
Adam had arrived home by the time the pasta was ready. “I’ve had Hailey’s head teacher on the phone,” he said, kissing me on the cheek. “What happened?”
I glanced meaningfully at Emily. “I’ll tell you later.”
“Fish pie night?” he asked, turning his nose up.
“No, pasta.”
He eyed the fish pie on the counter suspiciously. “Where’s Mum?”
“I told the kids they didn’t have to eat fish pie, and she left.”
“You’ve not upset her, have you?”
“Probably,” I said.
“She’s only trying to help.”
“I know, and I’m very patient with her – not that anyone notices – but I ran out of patience today.” I turned to Emily. “Run up and tell Hailey dinner’s ready, will you? Tell her it’s pasta,” I added as she walked out of the kitchen. I cleared Emily’s colouring books away to set the table.
“Hailey says she’s not hungry,” Emily told me when she reappeared. I put three bowls of pasta on the table and took a fourth upstairs to Hailey.
“Tell her to come down and eat,” Adam shouted after me.
I sat down next to Emily when I returned, and felt Adam’s eyes on me. “You should’ve told her to come down.”
“She had a bad day,” I said.
I put my head in Hailey’s room after I’d put Emily to bed. She was curled up on her bed, her eyes closed. I picked up the untouched pasta and went down to talk to Adam. He muted the TV when I walked in the living room.
“What happened?”
I sank onto the couch beside him. “Some girls were picking on her and she shouted at them in French. It was three against one, so the other girls got away scot-free while Hailey got into trouble.”
Adam massaged his temples, looking as though he had the weight of the world bearing down on him.
“She needs to move schools,” I told him.
“Mrs Bainbridge thinks you over-reacted. That you said Hailey was being bullied and they weren’t doing anything about it. She says it was an isolated incident.”
“Well, she would say that,” I snapped. Adam eyed me wearily and I tried to keep my cool. “Maybe I did over-react. I’m not sure.”
“Lucy, she can’t change schools because a couple of kids were teasing her.”
“She’s miserable,” I said, trying my hardest to stay calm. I needed us to talk about this without it turning into an argument. “And I think it’s more than just harmless teasing – but even if it’s not, I still think she should move schools. Something’s not right.”
