by Hannah Ellis
He smiled at me. We watched Emily skip ahead, getting faster the closer we got to the restaurant.
“Can I have a Happy Meal?” she shouted back to us.
Adam nodded and she beamed at him.
“Are you still seeing the therapist?” I asked suddenly.
“Yes,” he said. “Why?”
“You just seem so much more relaxed,” I said. “It’s good.”
“You should come with me some time,” he said. “You’d like Amelie.”
“No, thanks,” I said quickly.
“Go on,” he said. “Come next week. Please.”
He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I relented. “Maybe.”
I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of talking to a therapist. The thought of discussing my personal life with a stranger made me uncomfortable. But I suppose anything that could help us get back on track – and stay there – was a good thing.
Chapter 55
Adam was right; I liked Amelie Bright immediately. She had an energy about her that suited her name. The three of us sat together in her office in Manchester the following Friday afternoon. It wasn’t very office-like; two armchairs and a worn couch formed a ring around an arty wooden coffee table.
Amelie made tea for us and put me at ease by asking me questions about the girls, and chatting as though we were old friends. She got us to talk without me noticing she was doing anything, and peppered my talk of the girls with her own easy questions.
After all the stilted conversations I’d had with Hailey’s old counsellor, Mrs Miller, Amelie Bright was like a breath of fresh air. I was surprised when she said she’d love it if I came back with Adam again. Surprised, because I realised that was her subtle way of asking us to leave, and because I found myself not wanting to move from the comfort of her homely office.
“Is it always like that?” I asked Adam when we walked out into the balmy summer evening.
“Like you just popped in for a chat with a friend?” he said. “She went pretty easy on you, but yes, it’s pretty much like that.”
“She’s amazing. If only we’d found her sooner.”
“I know,” Adam told me, taking my hand as we walked towards his car. “I’m sorry, about everything. I just didn’t know how to deal with things.”
“None of us did,” I said. “But we’re doing okay now, aren’t we?”
“Yes. We are,” he said, turning to kiss me. “Can I take you out for dinner?”
I beamed back at him. “Yes, please.”
Adam called Ruth to let her know he’d be late, and we wandered until we found a funky-looking Mexican restaurant. The décor was brightly coloured and fun, and the staff were equally energetic. It was hip and cool, with a young clientele, and it made me smile just being there.
I sipped a brightly coloured cocktail while we ate tacos. I felt as though we were only just getting to know each other. Adam stroked my leg under the table and I leaned over to kiss him, like one of those sickening couples who I would usually complain about.
We were laughing when we finally left the restaurant, but my mood quickly dive-bombed at the thought of going back to Chrissie and Matt’s place.
“How do you feel about me moving back in?” I asked Adam as we reached the car.
He snaked his arms around my waist and looked at me intently. “I think you know the answer to that. You’ve been gone for far too long.”
“Things will be different, won’t they? I can’t go back to how we were before.”
“I promise you, things will be very different. Just tell me if anything is worrying you, okay?”
“Okay. So maybe I’ll pack up my stuff and come back tomorrow?”
He kissed me. “That sounds great.”
We drove in silence. Adam dropped me at Chrissie and Matt’s house, and I kissed him goodnight, happy that it would be the last night I spent away from my family.
Chapter 56
The next morning I woke early and quietly packed my bags, checking around the house for any odds and ends I had left lying around. Then I walked to the local shop to buy some food for breakfast.
Predictably, the smell of bacon drew Matt from his bed. He and Chrissie padded into the kitchen together, still in their pyjamas.
“That smells amazing,” Matt groaned, looking over my shoulder at the bacon and eggs spitting in the pan. “You know I love a fry-up.”
“We’re supposed to be watching what we eat,” Chrissie said. “The wedding will be here before we know it, and I don’t want to have to hide the wedding photos away forever because we look like a pair of hippos.”
“I don’t think there’s any chance of that,” I said, smiling at her. “But I just wanted to do something nice to say thank you for having me.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, rubbing my arm affectionately.
“I’m all packed,” I told her. “I’ll be out of your hair after breakfast.”
“Oh.” She frowned. “That’s great. I guess. I’m going to miss you, though.”
“Yeah, right – I’m sure you’ll be glad to have your privacy back.”
“Definitely.” Matt grinned. “We can reinstate naked Sundays!”
“In which case I might go with Lucy,” Chrissie said, sitting at the kitchen table. I placed the cholesterol-loaded breakfasts in front of them and sat down to tuck into my own.
“Just make sure you keep in touch, won’t you?” Chrissie said through a mouthful of bacon and eggs.
“Yeah – we don’t want to have to go back to slagging you off for being the world’s worst friend.” Matt grinned at me. Chrissie slapped his arm.
“I will, I promise. I don’t know what I’d have done without you guys. I guess I would’ve had to go and stay with one of my parents – and that would’ve been really depressing.”
“We liked having you,” Chrissie said. “And it was nice to know you were around to keep Matt out of trouble while he’s been off.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do without you!” Matt grinned. “Although I’ll be back to school before I know it. Why do the holidays go so quickly?”
“Please don’t complain to me about how fast your six-week holiday goes.” Chrissie glared at him. “How long is it until your next holiday?”
“Too long,” Matt laughed. “And the reason we have so many holidays is because we work so hard in term time, shaping the minds of future generations!”
“Let’s not talk about work,” I said. “You’ll make me lose my appetite.” I’d been searching for jobs, and had applied for a few. It was pretty late in the day, really, as school would be starting again in a few weeks. Thankfully, out of town, there was a bit less competition for jobs, so I hoped I would manage to find something.
*****
Adam’s car wasn’t on the drive when I arrived, and the house was quiet. As I walked inside, I realised the place felt strange; different, somehow.
I found Ruth in the living room, which looked very bare.
“I’m finally moving out properly,” she told me, smiling sadly as she paused in packing a box of ornaments. “Adam said you were thinking of redecorating so I decided it was about time I cleared the last of my things out.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I do,” she said, taking a seat on the couch and patting the cushion next to her. “I should have done it ages ago. I just didn’t want to leave this place.”
I sat down beside her. “If it’s any consolation, I didn’t want to be here.”
“I still can’t believe I lost them both like that,” she said.
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I can’t imagine how you felt. It was all so awful. Sometimes I still expect Tom to walk in and make us all laugh with one of his jokes.”
“I’d never imagined my life without Tom. I know he’d had some health problems, but he was always so full of life.” She paused, fishing up her sleeve for a hanky. “I just take it a day at a time. But there were definitely moments when I didn’t th
ink I’d survive it.” She wiped her eyes. “I’m glad you’re back, anyway. You had me worried for a while.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
She waved off my apology and headed for the kitchen. “Let’s get a cup of tea and you can help me with the rest of my stuff. I don’t know where I’m going to fit it all. It might be time to get rid of some things. Adam’s always telling me off for hoarding.”
I unloaded my things from the car and then loaded Ruth’s belongings and drove them round to her house. “If there’s anything left that you don’t want, just get rid of it,” she said. “I’m busy with the church committee next week so I won’t be around much, but shout if you need me.”
“Thanks.”
I drove back up to the house and waited there, in the silence, until I heard the crunch of tyres on the drive. I was so emotional – I was in tears even before the girls were in my arms. When Adam kissed me I knew I was exactly where I should be. The girls stayed near me the whole day, Emily asking me frequently if I was really staying forever.
The sun shone brightly and when it turned breezy in the afternoon we took the kites to the playground. It was a relaxed day. When Adam cooked dinner in the evening, the girls and I set up the patio furniture to eat outside. We draped a tablecloth over the weathered table and Emily picked flowers from the garden, arranging them in a glass. The girls stayed up late and when I came downstairs after tucking them into bed, I found the kitchen spotless and Adam sitting outside in the twilight.
“I poured you a wine,” he called to me.
“I’ve got you a present,” I said as I went to join him. I placed the box on the table in front of him. It was a Nikon to replace his old one. I’d bought it on a whim a while back but hadn’t found a good time to give it him. It had cost me a small fortune.
“Wow! This is the best one on the market,” he remarked, sitting up to examine it.
“I know. I did my research.” I’d spent a long time chatting to the nice salesman in the shop, who’d assured me this was what the pros used. “But if it’s not right or you don’t want it, I can return it.”
“It’s great,” he said, but with little enthusiasm. I eyed him suspiciously. “You’ve caught me by surprise, that’s all. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’d been thinking of getting a new one,” he said. “I don’t want to give up my job just yet, but it might be nice to take some photos again – as a hobby. Maybe I could even do those family photos for Angela. She’s really helped me out a lot in the past couple of months.”
“She’d love that.”
“By the way, do you have the paperwork from the sale of the photos?”
“No. I need to call in at The White Kitchen one day and collect it. Which reminds me…”
“What?” Adam asked, sensing my uncertainty.
“We owe Ollie and Jonathan a picture each! I promised them when they agreed to display the photos.”
“I’ll pull something out for them,” he told me, leaning back in his chair. “I can drop them off and pick up the paperwork. I wouldn’t mind saying hello to them.”
“Great. They’ll probably tease you a bit,” I warned. “They haven’t forgotten about you cancelling the original arrangement.”
We talked for hours, Adam topping up my wine a couple of times throughout the evening. When I finally looked around, I saw the sky had filled with stars.
“Do you know any other constellations, or just Orion?” Adam asked when I leaned back and gazed overhead.
“Just Orion,” I said, grinning.
I felt his eyes on me and remembered how disapproving he’d been when I’d comforted Emily out here, beneath these stars. “It’s not such a bad notion, is it?” I said. “That they’re watching over us somehow.”
“No,” he agreed. “It’s not.”
My eyes stayed on the three twinkling stars of Orion’s belt. “Is it me, or are they shining brighter tonight?”
Adam chuckled. “I think you’d better pass me your wine – you’ve obviously had enough.”
“I think they’re happy I’m home,” I said, ignoring him.
“I’m sure they are,” he said gently. I reached over and kissed him.
Chapter 57
The following weeks passed in a blur. It was a happy time. Adam spent much of his free time with his new camera in his hand, snapping away happily, just as he used to. Hailey had taken an interest in the camera too, and I’d often find them hunched over it together, Adam showing her how to use it.
I was feeling very proud of myself: I’d found a job! It was at a primary school in Brinkwell. When I walked in to the interview, I’d been sure I wouldn’t get the job. The head teacher, Mr Hatfield, was stern and overbearing – an older man with grey hair and unruly eyebrows. I explained to him immediately that, while I had applied for a TA position, I would really love to find a school-based teacher training programme. He’d told me gruffly that wouldn’t be possible; school policy was to only train TAs who had already worked in the school. It was what I’d expected, but I was still disappointed.
Then Mr Hatfield asked where I lived. His features softened when I mentioned Havendon, and his eyes glazed over as though he was remembering something fondly. “A long time ago, we had a caretaker from Havendon,” he told me. “A lovely man named Tom Lewis.”
Proudly, I explained my connection to Tom. I’d forgotten he had been a school caretaker before he retired. We chatted about him for a few minutes. It seemed Tom had left a positive impression everywhere he went.
The interview was a dream after that. Mr Hatfield’s whole demeanour changed, and the atmosphere was suddenly more relaxed. At the end of the interview, he told me he would need to check my references but, if they were all right, he would be delighted if I joined the school as a teaching assistant. Happily, I accepted. It wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for, but the school was conveniently located and I was confident I’d be happy there.
I couldn’t believe my luck when Mr Hatfield called me a few days later, saying he’d spoken to Mrs Stoke, who’d assured him I was a great teaching assistant and believed I would make an excellent teacher one day. He’d decided he could bend the rules for once, and arrange for me to train as a teacher!
Adam had found me in tears following the phone call. He had been concerned – until he realised they were tears of joy. Everything seemed to be falling into place for us, and I treasured the time I got to spend with the girls in the rest of the school holidays.
When I bumped into Mike in the village one afternoon, he’d cheerfully told me about a date he’d been on. It turned out the woman who’d previously stood him up had had a genuine excuse, and they’d rearranged their dinner together. He’d had a great time and had a second date lined up. It was lovely to see him so excited, and I hoped it would work out for him. He deserved someone special in his life.
Suddenly it was the last weekend of the summer holidays. Adam had arranged a treat for us. We were all going into Manchester to visit my dad and Kerry and spend the night with them.
“I’ve booked a table for dinner,” Adam said as I threw a few things in an overnight bag and he sat on the edge of our bed watching me. “At a fancy place.”
“Really? I thought we could just stay in and have a drink with Dad and Kerry.”
“Kerry said they’d babysit. That was the whole point of us staying over.”
“I know,” I said, pausing. “But I’m tired and I’m not that bothered about fancy places.”
“Can’t you just let me be a bit romantic for once?”
“I’ll have to get dressed up.”
“Is that really so bad?”
“I guess not,” I said, relenting. “Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Okay, now I’m intrigued.”
In the early afternoon, we drove to my dad’s house. The kids spent the afternoon playing in the garden. Hailey enjoyed the twins’ company, and Emily follow
ed Kerry around like a shadow.
Kerry cooked dinner for the kids and settled them in front of the TV once they’d eaten. I got Emily into her pyjamas before Kerry told me to stop fussing and go and have a nice night.
We’d booked a taxi. Adam jumped in first and whispered to the driver where we were going, so that I wouldn’t hear. I kept quiet when we neared Matt and Chrissie’s place, wondering what Adam had planned for the evening. It would be nice if he’d arranged for us to meet up with Chrissie and Matt.
I was very surprised – to say the least – when we pulled up in front of The White Kitchen.
“Don’t get too excited,” Adam said as we got out of the taxi. “But I’ve been thinking some more about my job and the photography business…”
“Oh my God!” I squealed. “You’re going to do it, aren’t you?”
He stopped and looked at me, his expression swinging between worry and excitement. “My contract with the studios ends in two weeks – and I don’t want to sign another one.”
“That’s amazing.” I circled my arms around his neck, grinning like an idiot.
“Hold on.” He looked at me seriously. “I don’t know how it’s going to work out financially. It could be great, but it could also be a disaster. It’s a risk.”
“I know,” I agreed. “But I want you to try.”
He kissed me lightly on the lips. “Thank you.”
I was giddy with excitement when I turned towards The White Kitchen. “We should get champagne to celebrate,” I said. “And we should talk to Ollie and Jonathan about selling more of your photos.”
“Yes to both.”
I spotted Ollie straight away, and waved as he made his way over to us.
“It’s great to see you,” he said, giving me a big hug. “What do you think?”
He gestured to the walls. I glanced around, but I was too distracted to have a proper look. Instead, I was longing to talk to him about displaying more of Adam’s photos.
“It looks amazing, as always,” I told him as he shook hands with Adam.
“Well, we’re very happy with it,” he said. “And in case you’re interested in the artist, here’s his card…” He handed me a business card, a huge smile on his face. When I read the name on the card, I did a double take. I looked at the pictures on the walls again, and then at Adam, who had a delighted smile on his face.
