He could truly be anywhere.
“You look familiar,” a man with a withered face and pristine Stetson said when Liz had given up the hope of finding Bingham there waiting for her. “You wouldn’t happen to know Barb Bingham, would you?”
“She was my mom.” Liz smiled wide. There were still other memories to uncover, other stories to hear. Eventually, she would find Bingham or he would find her, but for now, she could learn more about her mother’s life from the people who had known her best.
The man returned her smile and motioned for her to come closer. “Still is, I’d reckon, whether or not she’s of this world.”
“I’m Liz,” she said extending a hand. “Maybe you knew me as Janie when I was little.”
He looked her up and down at this revelation. His jaw dropped, and he let out a chuckle. “Little Janie Bingham? ‘Course. It’s been a long time, but I do remember.”
“We were hoping we could ride,” Dorian said, inserting himself into the conversation.
“And maybe after I could treat you to lunch,” Liz added. “Hear any stories about my mom you’d be willing to share.”
“Sure thing. Let me go find the riding instructor to help get you settled in. Most of our horses here are boarders, but I’m willing to bet she’d let you ride a couple of her mares.” He nodded and even tipped his hat Liz’s way before disappearing into the long stable building.
A young woman with dark hair emerged from within a few minutes later and introduced herself as Jess Sanders. Liz wondered if perhaps this had been her mother’s job once upon a time, or if maybe it could have been hers had things turned out differently.
“Old McDonald tells me you used to ride?” Jess said without a trace of sarcasm.
“Old McDonald?” Dorian asked, with one brow raised.
“The man you talked to when you entered. His name is actually Donald Jones, but we call ‘em Old McDonald after the nursery rhyme.” She laughed, and Liz liked her instantly.
“Yes, a very long time ago,” Liz said, wondering if riding a horse were at all like riding a bike. How much could she have possibly done on her own at the age of three? For all accounting, she was a total newbie at this.
“Well, let’s see what you remember.” Jess guided them toward a pair of horses that looked like salt and pepper shakers—one was white with black spots and the other black with white spots. She gave them carrots to feed to the large, peaceful animals, and Liz laughed with the itchy hairs on her horse’s snout tickled her palms.
“She likes you,” Jess noted.
Liz placed her hand between the horse’s nostrils and looked into its large, coal eyes. “And I like her,” she told Jess.
“Great. Now I’m going to show you how to mount. Watch me and do the same.” Jess pulled herself up in one fluid motion, making it look effortless.
Liz had a couple false starts, but she was shortly sitting atop her horse and looking out over the vast acreage of trails and meadows. The saddle felt like a throne, and she felt like a princess born into this kingdom, finally coming home.
They practiced the commands, Jess praising both the horses and the riders liberally as they mastered each new task.
“That’s everything you need to get started. Want to take to the trails?” Jess offered, reaching forward to stroke the pure black horse she’d mounted earlier.
Liz’s heart practically burst at the idea, even though they’d come here planning to ride in case Bingham hadn’t shown up to wait for them. “Could we?”
“Follow me,” Jess said, then clicked her tongue and dug her heels into the horse’s sides.
Liz and Dorian did the same, and together the three of them were off. Slowly but steadily, the horses navigated the trails. Right away, she knew why this place was called Golden Meadows. Everywhere she looked, sun-kissed flowers and fields created a beautiful complement to the bright skies above. The air smelled sweet, with slight notes of salt from the oceans nearby. Everything felt restorative—like it could clean away the bad and leave only the good. She imagined herself breathing in the crisp blue sky and breathing out the dark secrets of her past.
“Have you ridden before?” she asked Dorian when the trail widened, allowing their horses to walk side by side.
“This is a first, but I like it,” he said, his green eyes blending perfectly with the scenery around them. Liz belonged here, and Dorian belonged right here with her. “Mostly I like seeing you so in your element,” he said to Liz with a smile that took up his entire face.
“We’re coming up to my favorite spot on the entire property,” Jess announced, guiding them up a gradual incline. “We call it Picnic Point, because most of our riders like to bring lunch up here and settle in. There’s even a place to tie up the horses.”
“Could we stop for a few minutes?” Dorian asked with a raised voice.
“Got a picnic lunch I don’t know about?” Jess laughed at her own joke, but helped them dismount once they reached the peak of the hill.
“You can see the ocean way out there,” Liz said as a fragrant gust of wind blew by. She closed her eyes and inhaled more of the rejuvenating air, exhaled more of the bad she’d brought with her. This place seemed bigger than any lies, any secrets, any one person—and she loved that.
Dorian and Jess chatted quietly for a moment, and then Jess turned back toward the trail on foot.
“Is she abandoning us?” Liz asked, noticing Jess hadn’t even taken her horse.
“Just for a few minutes,” Dorian said, standing beside her at the edge of the hilltop. “I asked her to give us some time to ourselves.”
“Why?” She turned to him and immediately found the answer in his eyes.
He placed his hands around her waist and pulled her close, saying, “Because I’ve never seen you so happy, so at ease with who you are as I have today. I want to be a part of that. I know your past is a bit muddled, but I want to be a part of your story going forward. I want to be a part of what makes you you.”
Oh, Dorian. How much had changed since they’d met. How wrong she’d been about him until now. She wanted him to be a part of her story, too. Even though he said he wasn’t in her past, he had been the one to bring it to her. He was here now, helping her sort through it all. She hoped he would always be nearby, ready for whatever came next in her life.
“That’s perfect with me.” Liz said, enjoying the way Dorian’s eyes danced as she said this. She knew what was coming next, but she didn’t want to wait a single second longer than needed. Before Dorian could lean in to kiss her, she closed the distance between their bodies and crushed her lips to his.
And in that perfect moment in time, all of Liz’s selves converged into one. She was Ben’s daughter. She was Barb’s, too. And baby Elizabeth’s sister. She was Scarlett’s friend and Lauren’s. And Dorian meant something even more than the rest, because he represented a future she very much wanted to live.
“I think I’ve been waiting my whole life for a kiss like that,” Liz said, her cheek resting against Dorian’s shoulder as he held her.
“Many, many more to come, my dear Liz. Starting in three… two…”
He lifted her chin and kissed her again. And again. And again.
“I could do this forever, I think,” she murmured against his lips.
“Time’s up, kiddos!” Jess’s boots crunched gravel along the trail. Liz found it funny that she was calling them kiddos when they must all have been around the same age.
“Want to keep going or head back?” she asked once they had all mounted again.
“Let’s go back,” Liz answered. There would be many more rides in her future. She’d make sure of that. But she only got one first day with Dorian, and she needed to make sure she remembered all of it.
“As you wish,” Jess said with a bemused smile.
Liz smiled the entire way back. Even when she tried to lighten her expression, she found it impossible. Every time she caught a glimpse of Dorian, she found him wearing a similar
ly oversized grin.
Two fools in love.
No matter what they found out next, Liz knew she could get through it. The worst truths had already come to light. Now she was in the process of rediscovering old loves and finding new ones. It was going to be a great day, a great life.
The stables building loomed on the horizon, a dark blur amidst the colorful flowers that flanked them on either side. Liz found herself wishing the ride didn’t have to end so soon, that maybe they could just ride on forever—no more pasts to reconcile, no more hearts to heal, just this.
As they drew closer, Liz saw two figures waiting at the fence.
One was Old McDonald.
The other was Bingham.
Liz felt Bingham’s eyes on her as she dismounted and walked over to him at the fence. His smile grew broader and broader as she approached. Everyone had warned her he was dangerous, but the man she saw had the beginnings of tears in his eyes as he took in the sight of his long-lost daughter.
Maybe it would be okay. Maybe all the craziness Dorian had seen was just a fluke from the torment of being so close but unable to make contact. Maybe he had repented for hurting her mother and stood before her now a changed man.
“You got my message,” Liz said with a welcoming smile, reminding herself that this man had been a victim in the lies, too. He’d dealt with the hurt for years, and that hurt had turned to anger. She could understand that, and now that they were reunited, she wanted to help him heal. “Thank you for coming.”
“Yes, I was so excited to hear from you, even though this one—” He jerked a thumb toward Dorian. “Did everything possible to keep us apart.”
Dorian put a protective arm around Liz so that the two of them now faced Bingham side by side. “I had to make sure it was what she wanted,” he explained, a distinct note of caution rising in his voice.
“And this is what you want?” Bingham asked her, his eyes quivering with tears once again. “To be my daughter again?”
“I’d like to try.” Liz reached out to stroke his arm in what she hoped would be a reassuring gesture.
Bingham jerked away, then catching what he’d done, pulled her into an awkward hug. “I want that, too,” he mumbled into her hair.
Dorian pulled Liz back to him the moment her hug with Bingham ended. “It will take some time for you to form a relationship,” he said. “But I’m happy you’ve been able to reunite.”
“Not much thanks to you,” Bingham said, then began to chuckle.
Liz and Dorian exchanged awkward glances and waited for the other man to say more.
“And what’s some time when I’ve been waiting more than twenty-eight years for this day? We’re together again, Janie, and now we can make sure that man pays for what he did to our family.” He regarded Liz with a beseeching gaze, and she saw the first flames of anger light within him.
She took a step back, hoping she could make him understand. “No, we don’t need to do that. I want to focus on our relationship, not on punishing Ben. I know what he did was wrong, but he gave me a good life and I forgive him.”
He shook his head and frowned.
Liz hated to disappoint him, but she couldn’t stop loving the man who had devoted his entire existence to protecting her—just as she couldn’t help but love a man who had spent his whole life trying to reconnect with her.
“It’s not for you to forgive him,” he responded. “You said he gave you a good life. That’s great. I’m happy to hear it, but he destroyed mine. Kidnapping is a serious crime. He needs to be punished.”
“Please don’t,” Liz whispered. The last thing she wanted was to feel as if she had to make a choice between the two men who both wanted to be her father. “It will hurt me.”
Bingham shook his head vigorously, refusing to accept her words or her plea. “But it will be swift. I can assure you of that. I’ve been compiling the evidence for years, and now that Dorian has delivered the DNA results linking the two of us, the law will be very harsh on Ben Benjamin. Just as he deserves.”
“What about the statute of limitations?” Dorian asked. “Surely twenty-eight years is too long.”
“Not here,” Bingham corrected, taking on an academic tone. “South Carolina doesn’t have a statute of limitations. Kidnapping, transporting a minor across state lines, identity theft, and I’m sure a whole slew of other crimes are just waiting for Ben Benjamin now. My entire life has been devoted to the law, and I can’t turn my back on it now. Justice needs to be served before we can move on, Janie. Try to understand that.”
“Justice, or revenge?” Dorian asked with a look of derision splashed across his handsome face.
“They’re one and the same,” Bingham answered, then pressed his mouth in a thin, taut line.
“They are not,” Liz said, feeling less and less like this man even knew what it meant to love. “I’ve had a great life. I’m happy, healthy, and have always been taken care of. Ben never hurt me, and he did what he thought was right. We’re reunited now, and I want to know you, to love you.”
“Try to understand,” Dorian coaxed. “She’s already had her life stolen from her once. Do you really want that to happen again?”
“What about my life?” Bingham demanded. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Of course it does. I want to know you. To be a family,” Liz said. “But I will not turn Ben in.”
Bingham’s voice rose. His composed demeanor crumbled away to reveal the broken man inside. “I can’t believe this. You really are just like your mother, Janie. Choosing Ben over me. I gave her everything—everything! I could give you everything, too. But you’re willing to throw that all away for a man who tore my family apart.”
“I know it doesn’t make sense on the surface, but it makes sense here.” Liz touched her chest, but Bingham refused to let it go. He didn’t seem to notice the hurt that had taken over her whole body, because something else had taken hold of his—something that scared Liz.
He spoke quickly now, wringing his hands as if he needed to keep them busy to avoid lashing out. A bright red car caught Liz's eye as it pulled into the lot while Bingham ranted with no end in sight.
“I searched for you for years. Do you know that? I never knew that your mother had been whoring around on me, never knew the baby that died wasn’t mine. Never got to hold it. The hospital said they’d disposed of the body, but they’d released it to—to that man. How do you think that felt, losing two children at once? I was a good man, I didn’t deserve any of that. He stole my life and family because it suited him, and you’re on his side!”
Liz tried so hard to be calm, to understand how the years of not knowing had twisted this man’s heart. “I’m on nobody’s side but my own. I’m thirty-one years old, and I’m not some child you can boss around or tell what to think. This is hard on me, too.”
She glanced over Bingham’s shoulder and saw two figures emerge from the red car. Even at this distance, she knew who they were—and she was so glad to see them now.
“Hard on you?” Bingham laughed bitterly. “You didn’t even know until last week. You’re not the one who had to live with this for nearly thirty years. You’re not the one who was betrayed in every possible way. Your mother was married to me—to me! She had no right sleeping with Ben, no right to leave me, no right to take you from me. You are mine, just like she was. And—surprise, surprise—you are just like her.”
A familiar voice rose from across the meadow. “You’re right. She is just like her mother,” her father, Ben, said. “She’s beautiful, kind, strong, and too good for the likes of you.”
Vanessa walked at his side, their hands linked. She hadn’t asked for any of this. She’d simply fallen in love with a man and now turned up to comfort him in his darkest hour.
“You! How dare you show up here?” Bingham yelled, his face turning red. “It wasn’t enough to steal her the first time, now you want to ruin our reunion?”
“I knew you’d make it,” Dorian said. �
�Just in time.”
Liz looked to Dorian, who simply nodded and pulled her into his arms.
“We all make mistakes,” Ben explained, letting go of Vanessa’s hand and approaching Bingham slowly. “Yours was throwing your wife aside. I didn’t steal her. I simply picked up the broken pieces. You broke those pieces by hitting her, pushing her, hurting her.”
“You know nothing,” Bingham growled, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “She brainwashed you, and now you’ve brainwashed my Janie. Well, I have the proof of what you did, and we’re turning you in.”
“I did not agree to that. I’m not some pawn in your revenge scheme,” Liz hissed. “I will be your daughter, if that’s what you want, but I will not be a part of whatever this is between you.”
“I don’t need you to agree. I’m turning him in.”
“And if you do, I will never talk to you again,” she promised. “We can never be a family.”
“Listen,” Ben said. “I know you want me to be punished, but I’ve already done that to myself. For years. I want to apologize to you and offer my help any way you need it. No sin is worth punishing yourself over for the rest of your life. It’s not too late to forgive yourself, to forgive me, to let the past go and make a better future.”
Bingham laughed again as if the man before him were ridiculous, some kind of joke. “You sound like a self-help book. The only help I need from you is to see you behind bars. And I did nothing wrong. Everybody loses their temper sometimes. So what if I hit her for acting out of line? She hit me, too.”
Vanessa shook with rage. “That’s not the same and you know it.”
“He stole my child. How do you people not understand this?”
“Like you tried to take my daughter to get back at Ben?” Vanessa took a few steps toward Bingham, but Dorian pulled her back.
“I didn’t hurt her,” Bingham said.
“And he didn’t hurt Liz,” Dorian yelled.
“Her name is Janie!”
“I’m sorry,” Ben said again. “I didn’t realize how much this would hurt you. Barb said you barely ever spent any time with Janie, that she was a nuisance to you. I wanted her so badly. I’d made a promise to the woman we loved.”
Let There Be Life Page 15
