“I’d love to try, but don’t know how to play it.”
“You know how to play bass guitar, so it won’t be too difficult.”
She sat down on a stool with her cello in hand and spread her legs.
“Come here and sit down.”
I hesitated for a moment, not exactly knowing what she meant.
“C’mon, sit right here between my legs.”
I sat down on the stool between her legs and Sherinia placed the cello in front of us. Of course she needed to put her arms around me to do so and I felt her breasts against my back. She showed me how to press the strings and then she took my other arm and guided me with the bow.
At first it sounded terrible, but after a while I managed to play a simple tune without Sherinia guiding my arm. At some point I realized her now free right hand was on my belly and I felt her lips on my neck. A shiver ran down my spine and I was too distracted to play anymore.
“Put the cello aside honey, but remain seated as you are,” she whispered in my ear.
I obeyed her only too willingly. She continued to kiss and nibble my neck and my earlobes as her left hand sneaked under my sweater and cupped my breast. I moaned loudly. Sherinia whispered tender names into my ear as she opened the button and zipper of my black jeans and her right hand slid into my panties. I tilted my head back and leaned into her. It was as if her hands were reading my every response. It was too good to be true.
“Please stop teasing me, Sherinia, take me,” I whispered, as I couldn’t stand it anymore.
She took my hand and led me to her bed. And like during our first time together Sherinia and me shared our own piece of heaven.
+++
It was Friday evening and I was pretty nervous as the doorbell rang. I took my instrument case and went to the door. As expected, Martin waited outside. I hadn’t talked to him all week and - given our friendship - that was quite unusual. He however seemed to be as usual and when he looked at me his face lit up.
“Hi Blacky, good to see you. What the fuck happened to you?”
I was flabbergasted.
“Happened to me? What the hell do you mean?”
“You look gorgeous, I mean you always do, but – I don’t know, something is different.”
Had Sherinia even changed my exterior?
I shrugged my shoulders.
“I’m still Jenny, you remember me?”
We laughed and hugged each other.
“How have you been, I haven’t heard anything from you all week?” I asked him while we were in his car to drive to our band rehearsal.
“I wasn’t in the best mood, you know.”
“But why didn’t you call me?” Of course I knew the answer.
“I wanted to be for myself a bit.”
“C’mon, Martin, spill it, what is it with you?”
I watched him closely. His fingers clenched the steering wheel and he took a deep breath before he answered. I immediately felt sorry for him.
“You know that I – that I have certain feelings for Sherinia. Well, I called her and asked her if she wanted to go on a date with me, but she turned me down. She was quite nice, though. She told me that she appreciated my call, but there is somebody special in her life already.”
I noticed I had held my breath for a moment. So Sherinia had kept her promise and not given anything away about us.
You are such a hypocrite and coward, Jenny!
I patted Martin’s arm.
“I’m so sorry for you, Martin.” At least that was the truth.
When we arrived at our rehearsal room, everything was business as usual. Marlon and Robin were chatting, beer bottles in hand. Sherinia was late in good Emilia tradition.
Emilia – I had completely forgotten to respond to her email. It was odd - something in my guts told me I should answer her email and stay in touch with her, no matter what. This feeling drifted to the background when the door opened – and she took my breath away again. Sherinia’s eyes immediately met mine and there was a broad grin on her face. She was stunning, wearing a very short black denim skirt, black stockings, and boots. Her hair was up in a fancy bun with barrettes. She waved her hand and hugged the band members before she came to me and my heart stood still for a moment. She hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks and immediately I felt a tingling in certain regions of my body.
I didn’t dare to look at Sherinia as we started our rehearsal. I was too scared I might betray something. Yet the longer we were playing our songs and as I heard her enticing voice, the harder it became. Eventually, I couldn’t stand it any longer and looked at her. Immediately our eyes were in contact and she smiled.
Jesus Christ, how can I hide my feelings for her?
I quickly averted my eyes, but within minutes I looked at her again. I became distracted and began to make mistakes while playing my bass guitar. Martin’s eyebrows shot up. I shrugged my shoulders apologetically. For the remainder of our rehearsal I focused on playing and did not look at Sherinia again. She didn’t seem to have the same problems. She sang without any major mistakes as she always did.
Ninety painful minutes later I felt totally exhausted from concentrating so hard. What was meant to be fun had become a tough exercise. For the first time since I was a member of the band I was glad when our rehearsal was over.
“What was the matter with you today, Blacky?” Martin asked as he was driving me home later.
“I don’t know, I think I’m stressed out because of my graduation.”
He only shrugged his shoulders and did not say anything further.
+++
Only one hour later I was in Sherinia’s fancy apartment. She had picked me up shortly after Martin had left. I had just taken my bass guitar to my bedroom and grabbed the duffle bag I had prepared for my sleepover. As usual my mother was not at home and there was loud music playing in my brother’s bedroom.
I sat on a barstool at the kitchen counter with a bottle of beer in my hand. Sherinia was standing close to me, her left arm around my waist and a beer bottle in her right hand.
“This was a tough exercise for me tonight,” I said.
“I know, honey. You will learn to get a better grip on these things.”
“I don’t know, Sherinia, I’m falling in love with you and I can’t hide it.”
She kissed my hair and my neck.
“This would mean you have to come out, darling. Are you ready for this?”
I thought about the list of questions I had put together recently. I still had no answers.
“I have to make it through graduation and then we’ll see.”
“Okay, honey, let’s hope for the best. Want to take a shower with me?”
How I could resist this request? Within moments we were naked and under the shower. All my weariness and concerns were gone as my hands lathered her beautiful body. She turned her back to me and I soaped her back. Then my hands caressed her butt and my fingers found their way between her bottom cheeks to the folds of her pussy. Sherinia threw her head back as I entered her from behind. I pressed my body against her and her hand sneaked between my thighs to my aching flesh. With the warm water of the shower flowing over our bodies we found another little piece of our own private heaven.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – HIGH ALL THE TIME
“Oh my God, Jenny, you’re so good-looking, what happened?” Emilia said and her smile lit up her beautiful face. It was the first time we were video chatting again for weeks. I had finally answered her email and we had set up this appointment. Emilia seemed to really be enthusiastic to see me on the screen of her laptop.
“Are you in love with somebody?” She continued.
I blushed. She was right, I had fallen in love with Sherinia, but did not dare to tell it to anybody, even though I could have written her name on every wall. But was it so obvious?
“Yes, Emilia, I’m in love with somebody,” I admitted.
For the briefest of moments something crossed her face. Was it regret? Jealous
y? But then it was gone and Emilia clapped her hands.
“Oh Jenny, that’s awesome. Would you tell me who it is?”
“It’s a girl, you don’t know her,” I lied.
Emilia didn’t seem to notice or if she noticed it she didn’t show it.
“She seems to make you very happy the way you look.”
“She does,” I agreed, blushing even more.
“What about you and Jason?” I asked to change the topic.
Once again a shadow seemed to darken her face for the tiniest of moments.
“Jason and me? He’s a nice guy, but I doubt he’d follow me back to Germany once my term here is over. Were you mad at me because of Jason and me were dating?”
“To be honest with you, yes, I was mad about you. Well, I felt kind of betrayed,” I said in a low voice.
“Oh Jenny, I’m sorry, but the thing between you and me – I guess it was only an episode. I really love you as a friend, but I’m not a lesbian. I want us to be friends. Is that okay for you?”
Now that I had Sherinia it was okay with me.
We chatted a bit about her stay at London and about her apartment here that I was supposed to take care of. A duty I had neglected a bit recently. I made a mental note to buy her new plants if her neighbor should have forgotten to water them.
+++
I spent the next weeks like in a haze. I studied hard for my graduation, I worked at “The Mirror” on Saturday nights, I practiced bass guitar, and I even tolerated my mother’s latest conquest named Rainer.
Above all however, I spent as much time as possible with Sherinia. She became a kind of addiction for me and she did everything to indulge me. She took me to restaurants and bars I hadn’t known before and which I could never have afforded with my own means. My hormones seemed to be at an all-time high. We had sex ever so often it was incredible. Sherinia seemed to be insatiable and as it turned out so was I. I had never known such intense orgasms before. My countless fucks with boys had nearly always left me unsatisfied. Quantity did not compensate for quality. With Sherinia I had quantity as well as quality, it was a piece of heaven. She taught me things I hadn’t even known they existed. She showed me how to use vibrators, dildos, strap-ons and all kinds of toys on me and on her.
It became more and more clear to me that I had to answer the first question on my list with a clear yes. Yes, I am a lesbian. If it meant to be high all the time it was okay with me. Sherinia made me feel like a woman.
The other questions on my list still needed answers. I felt attracted to Sherinia and I felt butterflies in my stomach whenever I was together with her. We had great sex and it was easy to talk to her. But was this love? Did she love me back? Even though I said ‘I love you’ to her she never said that she loved me back. She called me tender names, but never said ‘I love you’. But I didn’t care at present. Being together with her made me so high that everything else seemed to lose relevance. Sometimes, when we took a walk together she put her hand on my bottom cheeks and said that she liked the way they moved. I tensed my muscles there and she liked it even more.
Of course my mother began to question my frequent sleepovers, but she was too busy with her own sex life that I could easily invent pretexts. Her main concern was that I could become pregnant. That however was my smallest concern.
My brother was more of a problem. He kept questioning me about that ‘hot chick with the BMW’ and why I was staying away overnight so frequently. I told him that we were going to clubs and bars together to hook up with hot guys and that it frequently became too late for me to go home. It seemed that Chris bought my stories, because he had witnessed parts of my inglorious past.
Martin was an even more difficult story. We didn’t see each other as frequently as before. I told him that I was too busy preparing my graduation to go out. He still picked me up on Fridays for the band rehearsals. I still had difficulties to pretend that Sherinia and me were just friends and band-mates. I tried not to look too frequently at her and focus on my playing, but it always took a lot of willpower.
“You need a sexy dress for your graduation party,” Sherinia said one day.
“Me – a dress? That’s nonsense, Sherinia. I never wear dresses,” I answered.
“You will look very cute in a dress and we will have a lot of fun when I strip you out of it.”
I hadn’t given much thought to the graduation event at all. A few guys had asked me if I wanted to go to the graduation party with them, but I had turned them down. Saying yes to one of them would mean they were expecting I wanted to get laid. I was sure I didn’t want that. I rather kept up my reputation as a freak, but it also meant I still needed someone to accompany me. I didn’t dare to show up at an official event with Sherinia that was out of the question.
Sherinia dragged me from one shop to the other, but I didn’t like the dresses that we found. Finally, we were in a smaller shop rather than in a department store and they had a short, dark- green dress with spaghetti straps.
“This is it,” Sherinia said and I agreed.
I tried it on and it was as if the dress had been tailored for me. My only concern was that a sleeveless dress would reveal my completely tattooed left arm, but Sherinia dismissed it and said it was cool.
“You look stunning in it,” Sherinia remarked. “All guys and some of the girls will go crazy when they see you.”
When I was back in the changing cubicle and stepped out of the dress Sherinia suddenly stood next to me. I was only in my bra and underwear and within seconds her fingers touched my most sensitive parts. I was terrified like hell the shop assistant would catch us, but then arousal and need overtook me. Sherinia kissed me hard and made me cum fast. I was still trying to catch my breath when the shop assistant asked if everything was all right in there.
Without hesitation Sherinia answered that everything was okay and that we would take the dress. With my whole body flushed and my face red like a tomato I paid for the dress and left the shop.
“Now you need black stockings and some fancy shoes,” Sherinia said.
“I cannot afford fancy shoes,” I remarked.
“We will find something you can afford and if not I’ll pay the difference.”
“No you won’t,” I protested.
In the end I found a pair of black high heels that I could afford.
+++
Something odd happened at school. It was our English class on Monday morning. Paulina Janssen sat at her usual desk in the second row. The chair next to her was free as usual. It was Lena’s place. The odd thing was that Paulina looked like a zombie. She was as pale as a sheet, her eyes were red and puffy, and her hair was an unkempt mess. I wondered what had happened to her when Lena came into the classroom. She too looked like a living corpse, pale and her eyes brimming with tears. She shot an angry look at Paulina and took a free chair in the back of the classroom. An excited murmur filled the room and I heard comments like ‘trouble in lesbian paradise.’
Obviously something bad had happened between the two of them. When class was over Lena literally fled from the classroom. Paulina jumped from her chair and ran to the classroom entrance, desperately calling Lena’s name, but without avail. Paulina went back to her seat, with tears flowing down her cheeks. It nearly broke my heart to see them so desolate, but there was nothing I could do.
The next day word spread around that Paulina was in hospital after she ran into a car.
Poor Paulina and poor Lena.
A few days later Paulina appeared back at school with a broken arm and some bruises on her face. Lena took care of her and they seemed to be back to their normal behavior.
+++
I watched as the headmaster called Lena Davids to the stage to hand her the graduation certificate. She looked beautiful in her short black dress and high heels. The same was true for Paulina Janssen when she was called to the stage a few minutes later. She wore a similar dress like Lena only her dress was a dark blue.
It was the day of
our graduation event. I had passed all the final tests with acceptable grades. I was happy. Mission accomplished. In a few minutes it would be my turn to walk to the stage in my skimpy dark-green dress that exposed my tattooed left arm, black stockings, and high heels. My mother and my brother sat next to me. My mother had at least been respectful enough not to invite her latest lover. She had asked me why I was going alone to the graduation party and I told her that it was my own decision. She didn’t care anyway.
I had finally made up my mind to go to the graduation event alone. I did not have the courage to invite Sherinia and appear with her as a couple, but she would pick me up later and we would celebrate in her fancy apartment.
I had considered asking Martin to come with me, but my bad conscience prevented me from it. I did not want to exploit him any further. It was difficult enough with me dating the girl he was interested in. So I ended up here alone.
After the official part was over I intended to stay only for a short while. I watched the dance. I wondered why Lena still put on this show with Jonas. A good-looking guy in turn accompanied Paulina, too.
I danced alone for a while and then went to the bathroom. As I left the bathroom I bumped into Lena. We hadn’t talked much since I had made my indecent offer.
“Oh hi, Lena. So glad to see you,” I said.
“Hi Jenny, how are you?”
I leaned in and whispered in her ear. “I could not be better. I’ve met someone.”
Her face lit up. “That’s great.”
“She’s a sweet girl and she looks a bit like you, all brown hair and beautiful eyes,” I continued to whisper in her ear. “I love her dearly and she’s the best thing that could happen to me.”
“Wow, that’s really amazing. I’m so happy for you. If you need to talk, you have my cell phone number.”
“Thank you, Lena. I guess I’ll see you around.”
“See you around, Jenny.” She hugged me and said goodbye. We both knew I’d never call her.
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