She reached out and grabbed his hand, hating how vulnerable he sounded when he spoke about his mother. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks,” he said, clearing his throat.
“Were you close?”
He nodded. “Yeah. The three of us were very close. Things didn’t go as planned five years ago and I regret not having more time—more good time with her at the end.”
Her throat ached as she watched him trying to hide his emotion. “It’s so hard to know how long we have together and to remember to enjoy the little things, isn’t it? The week Michael and Matthew died I was so consumed by my college courses that I remember I kept putting off seeing them. I kept saying how busy I was, and I believed it. And then that was it, they were gone,” she whispered, quickly taking a sip of her wine. She and Michael had always gotten along. He’d been a good big brother—he’d led them all well, looked out for all of them.
“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly, reaching out and placing his strong hand on the nape of her neck. There was so much pain in his eyes and she hated that they both had regrets, that they had both lost people very precious to them.
“She died five years ago. Did she know about Lisa?”
He pulled his hand away and rubbed the back of his neck. She hated asking him these questions but she was desperate to know the details, to really know him. “Yeah. I think that was too much for her to handle.” He looked like he wanted to say something else, she sensed that there was so much more than he was letting her in on. But he didn’t speak. Instead, a flash of vulnerability flickered across his eyes.
“I’m so sorry she had to go through that on top of dealing with her cancer. We can’t go back, Luke. She must have had so much faith in you, in the kind of man you’d become. She must have been so proud of you. A lot of people use what happens in their childhood as an excuse to not amount to anything. Look at you, you’re an incredible doctor, a wonderful brother.”
He ducked his head, but didn’t seem comforted by anything she was saying. “You have this amazing ability to see the good in people and situations, Gwen.”
“Not always, but I know a great guy when I see one.” His head turned sharply to her, the lines around his mouth pronounced and it looked as though, for a moment, he was going to say something, disagree or something. When he said nothing after a moment, she asked him another question. “Do you ever see your father?”
He shook his head. “When he left, he left for good. I was ten. Haley was four. It forced me to grow up. I remember my mother sitting at the kitchen table that first night, just crying. She had no idea how she was going to pay for rent, for groceries.”
She placed her hand on his leg and squeezed.
“But she did. We cut out everything that wasn’t a must. She got a second job and I stayed home with Haley, at night, even though she didn’t want to leave us without a sitter. I insisted. I told her we were a team and I could be the other parent. As soon as Haley could be left home alone, I got a part-time job…I haven’t thought about this in years.”
“But she sounds like she was an amazing woman.”
“My mother was an incredibly strong woman and she didn’t deserve to go out the way she did. She deserved to see her children happily married. She deserved to see grandchildren.”
She put down her wine glass and wrapped her arms around him. “She’s watching you, Luke. She knows how amazing her son is.”
She felt him put down his wine glass and then wrap his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. “I have no idea how you do that, Gwen. I have no idea how you actually make me believe in something I don’t.”
She felt such empathy for him, for what he’d been through. He pulled away, his hand still on her nape, still holding her close, his gaze filled with something she didn’t understand completely. Before she had time to dwell on it, he lowered his mouth to hers, brushing his lips over hers gently and then capturing her mouth in a sweet kiss that turned into so much more. He leaned back into the couch, taking her with him. When they heard the slamming of a car door outside, they both reluctantly pulled apart. “I guess they’re back,” she said, smoothing her hair and sweater.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” he said.
“Are you all ready for your sister?”
He shrugged. “Well, I have a house.”
Alarm bells were starting to go off. “I mean like her room and stuff. If she’s leaving her husband, and driving here, she’s probably not bringing a lot of stuff with her.”
He was starting to look confused. “So?”
She tried to be patient. “Maybe we should go shopping tomorrow. Let’s get some accessories for her room, to make her welcome and cheer her up.”
He still looked clueless. “Sure…accessories.”
She let out a sigh of exasperation. “Flowers, maybe a new duvet cover, pillows, some magazines, maybe a small desk and chair, a lamp…”
Her voice trailed off at his expression. She couldn’t quite figure it out.
He coughed. “Okay.”
“You did graduate med school, right?”
He threw back his head and laughed, snatching her wrist and kissing her. She laughed along with him, glad he could take teasing. “I think you and my sister will really like each other.”
“I’m sure we will. Okay, so I’ll make a list of places to go and items to buy. Tell me everything you know about her. Does she like antiques? I know this great little indoor flea market and they have tons of cute shabby chic things.”
He didn’t look impressed. “Shabby what?”
She rolled her eyes and patted his hand. “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay.”
Chase and Julia walked in a few minutes later. “Hey, how was your night out?”
“Great,” Julia said, hanging up her coat. “How did you two manage?”
“Maggie is a really great kid,” Luke, said, surprising her.
“Thanks,” Chase said, pride stamped across this handsome face.
After they said their good-byes, Luke walked her out to her car. “What time do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?”
She sat down, trying not to look like she was disappointed that he was ending the evening. “How about noon?”
“Perfect,” he said, leaning down for a quick kiss.
She gave him a wave and shut the door, desperate to be by herself.
After he pulled out of the driveway she did a quick replay of the last five minutes of their conversation, wondering if something had gone wrong. Maybe he was having second thoughts? Maybe he thought things were moving too quickly. Or maybe he felt uncomfortable because he’d revealed so much about himself tonight. That had to be it. It couldn’t have anything to do with his feelings for her…or lack of.
Chapter Eight
“So this is shabby shit?”
Gwen slapped her hands over her mouth and turned to him, her eyes wide and filled with laughter. He ignored the saleswoman in the booth who was frowning fiercely at him. What the hell?
“Chic. Shabby chic.”
He grinned. “Oh.” He thought it best not to mention that none of this crap looked particularly chic. It was used and the paint was chipping off. They were standing in what had to be the tenth booth featuring furniture that looked exactly like the previous nine booths. Really, he wanted to spend the day with Gwen. Even though he should be spending less time with her, he was spending more.
He kept telling himself he’d tell her the truth, but the churning in his gut always stopped him, reminding him that the second he did that, she would walk out on his life. So what options did he have really? Just enjoy his time with her.
“I’m thinking this cute powder-blue desk with that white chair we saw at the last booth. They will look great with the white nightstand we saw at the first booth. Then we get the powder-blue and white paisley quilt we saw at the third booth.” She smiled up at him.
She must have been waiting for a reply. “I have no idea what you just said.”
She rolled her eyes at him and tugged him along where they spent the next half hour buying all the stuff she mentioned and then loading it into his SUV. “You do have a bed for her, right?” she asked once he closed the trunk.
“A bed?”
She put her head in her hands. “Seriously? Get in the car, we need to get a bed and mattress. And pillows.”
He grinned. He liked the bossy side of Gwen. “You’re very hot when you’re barking out orders,” he said, tugging her into him.
She frowned. “I don’t bark.”
“Kind of,” he said, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her. “Well, you’ll be pleased to know I’m not completely incompetent. There is a double bed in the spare room.”
“I’m impressed,” she said, patting his shoulder like he was a first grader.
They spent the rest of the day running errands, Gwen coming up with stuff he hadn’t even thought of. When they were finally back at his place, she took charge and started setting up his sister’s room. “You don’t have to do all this you know. It’s your day off.”
She straightened up from smoothing out the quilt on the bed and he forced his eyes from her very cute ass and up to her eyes. He needed to keep things from moving too fast. Or whatever it was he was doing. “I’m happy to help. I like decorating. So what do you think?” she asked, lifted her arms and spreading them wide. He thought she was hot. And gorgeous. And kind. And he thought that he was the biggest ass for knowing all of that and wanting her anyway.
He didn’t want to be standing here talking about decorating when there was a bed in the room. He wanted to be in the bed, with Gwen. What kind of sick demented situation had he gotten himself into? The one woman he wanted more than anyone was the one woman he couldn’t have, but he couldn’t get enough of her, so he kept agreeing to these PG visits.
“Hello?” she asked when he hadn’t answered yet. “Don’t you think this room is gorgeous? I hope she likes it. I mean what if she has your taste? She’ll hate it.”
He managed a smile. “She doesn’t have my taste. This looks exactly like something Haley would like.”
“Good. I can’t wait to meet her. I should probably get going, I have a bunch of errands to run. Baby shower stuff. Then I need to get some food to my friend. Oh, hey, before I forget, do you want to go skating Friday night?” She crossed the small room to stand in front of him.
“Uh, no.”
She frowned at him, clearly not insecure in his feelings for her. He liked that. “Well, we’re going skating Friday night because we’re actually really lucky the outdoor rink is still open this close to spring.”
He tried to hide his smile. “Lucky according to who?”
She poked him in the stomach. “Seriously, you’ll love it. Can you take Friday night off?”
He’d take off any night for her. Just not skating. “I haven’t been on skates since high school.”
She smiled, like maybe she liked that, or that she was anticipating watching him fall flat on his ass. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you. Consider it payback for you helping me when I was sick.”
“I think the term you’re looking for is returning the favor…I believe payback implies something sinister.”
She patted his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”
He was laughing when he bent down to kiss her. “Fine. Skating on Friday.”
The knocking on the door prevented him from figuring out how he was going to stop kissing her. Before he could even walk out of the room, the door opened, followed by the sound of his sister. “Hello, Luke!”
Suddenly his sister threw herself at him. He held her close, deciding he’d reprimand her for not giving him any warning later.
“I made it!”
He heard the relief in her voice, combined with happiness. He hated that she had been through something traumatic. He wouldn’t press right away but over the next few days he’d find out what had happened with her husband. She finally pulled away and he got a good look at her. They were similar in coloring, but she had dark circles under her eyes and her face was pale. She looked as though she’d lost a significant amount of weight too. He clenched his teeth, trying to control the anger he felt toward her loser ex. “Glad you made it in record time.”
“Hi,” his sister said, spotting Gwen. “You must be Gwen.”
“Hi, you must be Haley,” Gwen said. Instead of reaching out to shake his sister’s hand, she pulled her into a hug. “I’m so glad you came to stay with your brother.”
Holy hell. His gut tightened and his throat constricted as he saw tears form in his sister’s eyes. Gwen was so damn sweet. “And I’m so happy you’re in my brother’s life, I’ve heard so much about you,” she said, shooting him her trademark badass little sister grin.
Gwen looked surprised. “I’m surprised he mentioned me. “
“Oh, he talks about you all the time,” Haley said.
“You too. We just finished decorating your room because he had no idea what to do.” They both burst out laughing.
“Standing right here,” he said, happy as hell and awed that Gwen had already made his sister laugh.
“I can’t wait to see it!” Haley said, and the two of them started walking down the hall.
“Do you like your room?” Gwen asked, completely ignoring him as Haley stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom.
Haley looked around, judging by the huge smile on her face totally loved it. “It’s so nice. Honestly, I was expecting a sleeping bag on the ground,” she said with a snort.
Gwen nodded sympathetically. “Yeah, I kind of nudged him in the right direction. I had a feeling he was going to drop the ball.”
“Sometimes I worry about him. Like does he remember to eat?”
“It’s amazing they let me in the ER to oh, I don’t know, save lives, when I’m such an idiot,” he said. Their opinion of him was a little shocking. Instead of either of them looking the least bit sheepish, they burst out laughing.
“Well, it was great meeting you, Haley. I’m going to head out,” Gwen said, and they started walking toward the door. He followed. He had known they’d get along but seeing them together made him realize how great Gwen would be for Haley. She was loyal and caring and that was what his sister needed. He needed Gwen. He wished he’d met her when he was younger, before anything had happened, maybe then things would have been different.
“You don’t have to leave because I’m here,” Haley said.
“No, you guys need to catch up. Besides, I have a million things to do and this is my only day off. Oh, also, in case Luke forgets to tell you, you’re invited to my parents place for Sunday night dinner,” Gwen said, pulling on her coat.
His gut clenched. Right. Sunday night with all of them.
His sister was smiling again. “Thank you so much. I’d love to.”
“I’ll walk you out,” he said.
Haley rolled her suitcase to the bedroom. “Bye, Gwen!”
Once the two of them were outside, he grabbed her hand, needing to make contact with her.
“Your sister seems really great.”
He blew out a breath. “She is. Thank you for being so nice to her.”
“She’s hurting though, you can see it,” she said, concern in her eyes as she stopped at her car.
He agreed. He’d seen the same thing. She had put on a brave front, but he could tell. “I know.” He’d deal with Haley when he went back inside. Now he wanted a few moments of just Gwen.
“So, anyway, I’d better get going,” she said, looking unsure of herself.
It was his fault. He was being a prick because he didn’t know what to do. He wanted Gwen in every possible way, but he was torn between hurting her now and hurting her later. He put his hand on her car door and raised one hand to the nape of her neck. Her breath caught. “Gwen, I’m sorry our day was cut short.”
She shrugged. “Not a problem. We are just friends anyway.”
“We’re so beyond friends,” he said, lowe
ring his head. “You’re the best thing I’ve ever known,” he whispered before kissing her. Kissing Gwen seemed inevitable, since every time he saw her, he wanted to kiss her. Not kissing her was becoming impossible. She kissed him back with the same need he felt and soon what was meant to be a quick kiss turned into something much more. They both had layers of clothes on and it was snowing and his sister was inside the house. She pulled away first.
“I’d better get going. ”
“Gwen,” he said roughly, not knowing what to say to her, yet not wanting to leave things like this.
“Yes?” she asked, hope lighting her eyes. Hope in him was always a mistake.
“I’ll see you in a bit,” he said, leaning down for one quick kiss before shutting her door. He stepped back and watched her pull away, giving one final wave as she drove off. The distinct feeling in his gut that he was about to destroy everything made him feel sick.
He glanced back at the cabin, took a deep breath, and went to join his sister inside. When he walked in, he spotted her standing by the large window in the family room.
“Not bad, Luke. It’s gorgeous out here. I think I could get used to this cold because of the view.”
He’d grown accustomed to Montana and the winters. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool, especially after a snowstorm.”
“Wow, look at you appreciating nature,” she said, walking toward him.
His gut churned because now that her coat was off he noticed she looked like a skeleton. He knew she was forcing herself to appear happy. She wasn’t fooling him. “I’m just repeating crap I overhear.”
She laughed and hit him on the shoulder. “I absolutely love Gwen. She’s perfect for you!”
He winced. “Don’t want to talk about it. But yeah, Gwen’s great. Are you hungry?” he asked, hoping to change the subject. “If you would have told me you were coming, I would have gotten some food.”
“You can’t cook. Also, we will come back to the topic of Gwen.”
He ignored the Gwen comment. “I’m too busy to cook, but I would have bought food. You want a pizza? There’s a great pizza place in town and maybe if I offer the guy extra, he’ll deliver out here.”
The Doctor's Redemption (Shadow Creek, Montana) Page 10
