by K Ryn
He almost screamed at the relief of finding the anthropologist alive and apparently unharmed, but then the whisper reached him again, accompanied by the smell which he'd tried to evade.
[Jim... ]
The Sentinel crossed the remaining distance already knowing what he would find, fearing only the degree of the horror which had transfixed his Guide. A quick glance into the brush imprinted the scene on his own mind forever -- the glimpse of red hair was all that he needed to see to identify the body. They had been too late to save Amanda Sims. Turning to Blair, he started to reach out to draw him away, but the look on his partner's face halted him and his own heart lurched in fear.
It was as if Blair's mind had found a way to shut out the horrifying scene, but had forgotten to tell his body to do the same. Blair's eyes were open, staring toward the bloody corpse of the young teacher, but unfocused, the brightly lit windows to the anthropologist's soul tightly shuttered from within. His face was so pale that it was almost translucent, the throbbing veins at his temples pulsing wildly in time to the pounding heart. His lips were moving, repeating Jim's name over and over again, but there was no sound beyond the whisper of air that flowed in and out of the painfully laboring lungs.
"Ellison? I thought... What the hell?"
A fatigue-dressed figure rounded the boulder, and Jim jerked in surprise. It took him a moment to recognize the FBI agent Blair had been sent to meet.
"Get Anders and the rest of the teams here, now," Jim hissed, moving between Dunn and his stunned partner to shield Blair from the man's prying stare.
"But --"
"Move, damn it!" Jim shoved the agent backward, his building anger pushing him to unleash his frustration on the closest target.
The man hesitated for only a second and then stumbled away to carry out Jim's orders. As soon as the agent had passed the boulder, Jim turned back to his partner, entirely focused on finding a way to bring the younger man out of his shocked trance. Easing in front of his Guide, he gently placed his hands on Blair's shoulders. He felt the younger man's trembling and kept them there for a few moments, then stroked his palms lightly down the anthropologist's arms, stopping to grip Blair's upper arms lightly before returning to hold the slim shoulder's.
"Blair..." he whispered his Guide's name, feeling the trembling increase, but seeing no change in the vacant stare.
He gave a light squeeze to the shoulders again, then slid his hands up the side of Blair's neck, resting his thumbs for a few seconds on the pulsing veins before cradling the pale face in his palms.
"Blair, it's Jim... I know you're in there, buddy... I need you to listen to me... just hear my voice and let me lead you back." He breathed the words out like a prayer and then tipped the younger man's head back slightly so that he could look down into his Guide's eyes.
He had to fight his own shudders at the black glassy circles that reflected his own image. Blair's pupils were so far dilated that Jim could hardly see any of the iris, and what blue he could see was flecked with brown.
"Come on, Chief. You always find a way to reach me," Jim pleaded. "I need some help here, buddy. You're the Guide, remember?"
He felt a shiver ripple through the younger man and then another. Slowly, the long dark lashes swept down, shuttering the eyes completely. When they raised again, a few seconds later, the familiar blue eyes of his Guide stared up at him in startled recognition, and Jim felt the sudden tensing of muscles as Blair started to pull away.
"Jim...?"
The strangled gasp was like music to the Sentinel's ears. He tightened his grip to hold the younger man in place and tried to pitch his voice in imitation of his Guide's soothing tones. "Easy... It's all right..."
Another blink and this time it was confusion that filled Blair's eyes. "What... what happened?"
"I think you just had a Guide's version of a zone-out," Jim said softly, letting his hands drop back to the anthropologist's shoulders in support.
"A zone... no... not me... you..." Blair stammered, a flicker of fear darting across his face. "You were zoning. I saw you. I tried to talk you out of it from here, but I couldn't reach you. I was going to head back to shake you out of it, but I smelled something... perfume and something else. It was right here..."
Suddenly Jim realized where his partner's thoughts were taking him and he shifted to try to block the hideous view which lay only a few feet away.
"Blair, don't!"
But both his warning and movement were too late. The younger man's eyes widened in shock at the sight of the ravaged body. With a curse at his own stupidity, the Sentinel spun his Guide around, propelling him away from the murder site. With a despairing groan, Blair jerked out of the older man's hold and stumbled forward for a few steps before falling to his knees. Jim was at his side immediately, gently pulling him back to his feet and leading him a few yards further, easing the shaking body down to rest against a massive fallen tree.
Blair curled into a huddled ball, his fingers laced behind his head, the long, tangled curls draping his face as he rocked rhythmically, his breath catching in sobbing gasps. Jim knelt beside him, one hand on his Guide's shoulder, anchoring the younger man with a reminder of his physical presence, just as Blair had done for him so many times. They sat that way, Sentinel sheltering his Guide, until the tears stopped.
Blair's breathing had began to ease when Jim heard a crackle in his headset. Before Anders' voice could intrude on the small patch of safety and sanity he had created, he shut the unit off. Glancing over his shoulder, he caught sight of the approaching teams. Even without the headset, he could hear Anders asking where they were, demanding an explanation of what they'd found.
He looked down at Blair and hesitated. He didn't want to leave his young charge, but he knew that if he didn't go back to meet with the agent, Anders would come looking for him and he wanted to give his partner as much time as he could to get himself together before facing the man again. Jim wanted nothing more than to send Blair out of this mess and away from Anders' disturbing presence, but after what they had just gone through, there was no way he was letting his Guide out of his sight unless he could accompany him. And there was no time to do that -- especially if he was right about what he'd discovered, just before he had zoned -- that the distant splash of yellow that he'd seen was far too large to be another scraped tree limb. There was a good chance it was the bus.
He squeezed Blair's shoulder gently. "I should go take care of things. Will you be all right?"
Wearily, the younger man unclasped his hands and raised his head. Drawing in a slow, deep breath, he nodded, wiping away the traces of tears with the back of his hand.
"Yeah... I just need a few minutes..." came the hoarse reply.
"Okay. Stay put. Drink something if you can. It'll help." Giving the younger man a soft pat on the arm, Jim rose to his feet. He gave his Guide a final measuring look, then headed toward the waiting men.
Blair shuddered as he watched Jim walk away, knowing that every step he took brought the Sentinel closer to death. What he didn't know was whether it was the young teacher's bloody body or Anders' smiling presence which promised that certainty to his soul.
With light tendrils of awareness still wrapped around his young partner, Jim approached the waiting group of searchers. His jaw clenched angrily as he picked up Anders' urgent questions and Dunn's rapid responses.
"Maybe you overreacted. Are you sure Ellison was --"
"I'm telling you he was nuts! He was in my face and pushing me away from Sandburg like some avenging angel or something. I thought for a second he was going to kill me if I took another step. And the kid looked like he was a zombie, just standing there staring."
"So Sandburg found the body, then?"
At the eagerness in the man's tone, Jim's ambivalent feelings toward Anders crystallized into intense dislike, bordering on hatred. He had to fight to keep his emotions under control and his words civil.
"He found it," Jim snapped, stalking up to them. "The
question is, why didn't you?" he hissed, taking a step forward to place himself in Dunn's space, his eyes flashing ice-blue fire.
For a second, Dunn drew back, his eyes widening in startled fear, then he pulled himself together and leaned back in toward Jim, his posture totally aggressive.
"Why you --"
"That's enough," Anders ordered, stepping in to pushing them apart.
"What the hell kind of sweep were you doing?" Jim snarled, shaking off Anders' hand, but not backing off. "That was your section. There's no way you should have missed that body."
"Listen you freaking --" Dunn growled, shifting forward again, his hands balling into fists.
"Dunn! Shut it!" barked Anders, his glare silencing the other agent. Still keeping his eyes on Dunn, the older man spoke quietly, directing his words to both of them. "This case is getting to everyone. Let's just try to keep a handle on our emotions and our minds on what we're here to do. Go cool off, Dunn."
For a moment, Jim wasn't certain the agent was going to back down, but finally the man shrugged and turned away, shooting him one more glare. The Sentinel's response was automatic, stepping forward to finish the confrontation, but Anders' hand on his chest stopped him.
"Let it go, Ellison," Anders said quietly.
The Sentinel's anger shifted to the older agent and he brushed off the hold in irritation. More than ready to take on the man, Jim suddenly paused and turned slightly in Blair's direction, sensing a change from his young partner.
Seeing Blair on his feet and staring at them, Jim took a deep breath and physically stepped back, shaking his head. He forced himself to get a handle on his temper, all too aware that if he didn't, he'd have his Guide by his side in another few seconds -- and that was the last thing he wanted.
"Just make sure he does his job from now on," Jim warned. "Make sure they all do. I don't like accidents and I don't believe in coincidence. There's been too much of both on this case."
"Just what are you implying, detective?" Anders asked, a hint of challenge coloring his own words.
Ellison looked the older agent in the eye and found himself staring into that cold gray gaze, wondering what was really going inside the man's mind. A warning shiver ran up his spine and the tone of his answer carried that coldness.
"I'm not implying anything. I'm stating a fact. I don't make it a practice of putting either myself or my partner in jeopardy. If I had a choice, I'd pull out of this right now. We're hunting some very dangerous people. We can't afford to be making mistakes at this point."
Their gazes stayed locked and Jim's body tensed until the older man nodded.
"I agree. Look, I'm sorry about your partner finding the body, but Dunn's not to blame. Everyone's doing what they can here. We're stretched pretty thin --"
"Too thin to be thinking and acting professionally?" Jim muttered in disgust.
He shook his head and stepped away to kneel beside the body. He closed his eyes for a moment and took several deep breaths to focus himself before opening up his senses, absorbing the sensory assault for a few seconds before dialing everything back. Without moving from the side of the corpse he glanced up, staring across the short distance to where Blair still stood next to the fallen tree. He 'heard' the increase in his partner's heartbeat and shot him a firm stare, silently ordering the younger man to stay where he was.
"You sure you don't need me there?"
Jim shook his head again in answer to his Guide's whispered question. To his surprise, Blair followed his instructions, although Jim could still hear his pulse racing. Turning his attention back to the body, Jim tried to look at the dead young woman objectively, but it was difficult. He had to keep pushing away the memories of their last case, especially the image of Patty Hammond's body which his mind kept superimposing over this one.
There were certainly enough similarities, he mused darkly -- two lives ended far too early, both killed with knives, both corpses bathed in blood. He shuddered, realizing that the common elements of the deaths were probably what had triggered his Guide's response. God, why did it have to be Blair that found her? He felt another surge of anger and fought to channel it into a more productive direction.
He sat back on his heels for a moment and closed his eyes, concentrating on the evidence that he had. Throat slashed, just like the driver, so probably the same killer. Strong smell of perfume, skin still slightly warm...
His eyes flashed open and he looked up at Anders.
"The Bureau confirm anything on our vacationers yet?" he asked quickly.
"Still sorting them out, but so far, nothing out of the ordinary. Why?"
"Something doesn't make sense. This body's still warm. I'd guess that she was killed less than two hours ago," Jim replied, frowning as he rose to his feet. "That should mean that we're getting closer, but the evidence trail we've been following is older than that."
"If that's true, then they would have had to double back on their trail to leave the body here," Anders observed. "Doesn't seem likely."
"No, it doesn't." Jim shifted his gaze and stared off into the distance, focusing on the paint scrapes he'd found. "We need to get moving. You might want to call up that air support and have them standing by. I've got a feeling we're not too far from finding the bus."
"Already done. I had Fredericks contact them as soon as Dunn reported the body. I've got Bailey on the move as well. He's left a team with the people at the ATV and he's headed our way. Should be here within an hour or so."
"He'll have to catch up with us. We can't wait that long. Tell them to keep it quiet. I don't want to alert anyone to our presence. And tell him not to make a move until he's cleared it with me."
Jim's tone brooked no argument as he took command of the situation. He didn't care if Anders liked it or not. He'd all but told the man that he didn't like the way the operation was being run. If they were as close as he thought to the bus, then they might also be close to the kidnappers and the killer. He didn't want Bailey charging in and putting anyone -- particularly his partner and the missing children -- at risk.
"All right, you're on point. It'll be your call," the older agent agreed. He slipped off his own headset and handed it to Jim with a small shake of his head, as if in apology for the earlier malfunctions. The Sentinel accepted the unit without a word, turned on his heel and went to join his waiting, anxious Guide.
Blair tried to find out what had happened as soon as Jim rejoined him, but the older man waved off his comments, taking him by the arm and steering him back toward the search path, away from the grisly murder scene. He started to protest, but the grip on his bicep tightened, matching the clenching of his partner's jaw, so he allowed himself to be towed along. Once they were well ahead of the others and partially masked by a heavy stand of trees, the Sentinel swung him around abruptly, holding him tightly by both arms and glaring down at him.
"Jim --"
"Quiet!"
"Jim, come on --"
"Damn it, Sandburg, just be quiet for a minute," the older man hissed, his sharp gaze fixing Blair in place as firmly as his hands were.
He fell silent and still, waiting out the scrutiny, knowing that Jim was 'reading' all the physical signals he was sending out. Under that measuring stare, Blair felt like he was being examined inside and out. As stretched and exhausted as he was, he was certain that he was going to fail the Sentinel's sensory test, so he was amazed when the vice-like grip on his arms eased and the gaze softened slightly.
"You're all right?"
"After what you just did, you shouldn't have to ask," Blair said softly.
"I'd feel better if one of my senses could get inside that head of yours, Chief," Jim responded, shaking his head. "Then I'd know for sure."
"Trust me, Jim. You DON'T want to go there," he responded with a slight grin.
"You're wrong, Blair," Jim countered, his voice flat and tinged with anger. "That's exactly where I want to go. What we're doing here is dangerous. Somehow I need to drive that point into
that thick skull of yours and I know from past experience that half of what I say goes in and the rest you divert off into some other plane of existence that only you're aware of. This whole thing could get out of hand without warning and where will you be? Right in the middle of it without engaging your brain first."
"If that's where you are, then that's where I'll be," Blair said determinedly, his grin evaporating, but his gaze remaining steady.
"If I had the option I'd get you out of here now, but I can't," Jim growled, giving him a hard shake. "That's my fault. I never should have let you come. You're in no shape for this, physically or emotionally and your sense of self-preservation seems to have disappeared completely. I told you to stay put back there, to keep out of it, yet ten minutes after I pull you out of some weird trance you're ready to jump back in with both feet like nothing happened. Don't bother to deny it. I saw that look on your face. What the hell were you thinking?"
"Jim, you should know me well enough by now to accept that it's not my head that makes those decisions for me, but my heart," Blair said quietly, his eyes not leaving the older man's. "Especially where your safety is concerned."
"We're not talking about my safety here. We're talking about yours."
"Well, since they're intertwined at the moment --"
"Damn it, Blair, you're too important to me to lose because you won't take this seriously."
"I am taking this seriously!" Blair snapped, pulling from the older man's hold. He stepped back a pace and glanced back the way they had come, then turned to meet the Sentinel's confused and angry glare. "And you're wrong. This isn't about me, it's about you. I know it doesn't make sense, Jim, but there's something about all of this, and particularly about Anders, that scares the hell out of me."
"This is about the panic attacks isn't it? How can it make sense when you won't talk to me about them?"
"I said I would -- ."
