His Loving Caress

by Candace Shaw

  “No problem. I wanted to see you and the babies before I leave. I’d meant to come over sooner but my client had me tied up for the last three days. She wants five dresses for the wedding weekend and that’s not including the bridal party. But we got it all done so I’m headed back to New York tomorrow so my team can get started.”

  “I hate that you have to leave so soon. I only see you once every few years it seems, and you rushed off during the charity auction before I could say goodbye.”

  “Girl, you bolted toward the door,” Tiffani teased, entering the room along with another lady Elle didn’t know. “I saw you and Braxton having a good time.”

  Elle hated being reminded of that evening, but it was all she could think about the past few days as she contemplated calling him so they could finally have the talk. Considering their dinner went well overall, she was somewhat at ease with finally hearing him out. However, when he did call, she’d stare at his number on her cell and then toss the phone away from her.

  “I was just being cordial.” She decided against telling them about the dinner date. No, wait. That wasn’t a date. Was it?

  “I’d hate to see what being friendly would look like. You two probably would’ve been arrested for lewd acts in public,” Tiffani joked. “But I’ll drop the subject for now. Elle, this is my friend Blythe Ventura. She’s the artist of the painting you won at the auction.”

  Elle was grateful for the change of subject and even more elated to meet Blythe. “It is wonderful to meet you. That piece was so abstract and eccentric. I had to have it.”

  “Why, thank you. It was just something I was experimenting with.”

  “Well, it’s going to look wonderful in my office. It’s a very inspirational piece. Do you have a gallery here in Atlanta?”

  “No. I own the Paint, Sip, Chat next door to Tiffani’s bakery, but my loft is basically my studio.”

  The nanny entered the nursery to put the babies down for their afternoon nap and the ladies retreated to the veranda for lunch. Megan and Steven’s chef had prepared an array of different foods to select from and Tiffani had brought a variety of cupcakes from her bakery, Sweet Treats. Elle was overwhelmed by the choices. It seemed she’d eaten nonstop since she’d landed in Atlanta. Usually she was busy with work and would only eat a salad or yogurt when she was on the go. She placed a little of everything on her plate and joined the ladies at the wrought-iron dining table.

  “Megan, when are you going back to work?” Elle asked, hoping to keep the focus off her. She sensed the ladies wanted to discuss Braxton.

  “We start taping the last season of The Best Decorated Homes in the fall. In the meantime I’m not taking on any major decorating projects. Steven and I just want to enjoy the girls.”

  “The last season? The Fabulous Living Channel cancelled your show?” Tiffani asked.

  “No. Jade and I are going to do another type of show slated for next summer. It will still revolve around interior design, of course. We’re the executive producers and creative directors, so we’ll have total control.”

  Elle nodded, popping a miniquiche into in her mouth. “That’s awesome. I know you hated not having full control of your show.”

  “Yes, but it was a great start and we’re excited about the future.”

  Elle continued munching on her food in silence as the other ladies chatted. Her thoughts trekked to the other night in her hotel room with Braxton and the brief moment when his hand had rested on her thigh at dinner. The passion that had soared through her veins hadn’t settled down yet and the pink orchid that had arrived the following day at her hotel room certainly didn’t help at all. It was the first time the flowers were accompanied by a note, which stated “I miss you, Sunshine.” She didn’t even realize she was blushing and smiling until Mya had mentioned it. And she could barely concentrate when her client was relaying her vision of the gown. Even though Elle jotted down notes at the time, it seemed as if she was writing down gibberish and not real words. However, when it had dawned on her that she was in a business meeting and not pressed against Braxton, she jolted out of her daydream. Only then did she realize she had indeed written what the bride had said verbatim and managed to sketch out a couple of designs.

  Braxton being back in her life without warning had knocked her off balance. She knew they needed to talk about what happened years ago and putting it off any longer was out of the question. She figured she could get it over with before leaving for New York so that when she returned, she could get on with her life again. This pit stop to the past had been nerve-racking and she couldn’t concentrate on her job. No, it wasn’t a job. It was her career and brand that she’d worked hard to achieve, turning Elle Lauren Designs into a multimillion-dollar, international corporation. Distractions were a nuisance and she needed to nip this in the bud quick so she could move on. The fact that Braxton wanted to win her back wasn’t an option she was entertaining. Maybe they could be friends or at the very least check on each other every blue moon, but she couldn’t let him back in completely. He’d broken her trust and her heart into a zillion pieces. While it had mended itself and was patched together with thread, she didn’t know if it could sustain being hurt again by him.

  Megan’s whimsical voice brought Elle out of her deep thought process.

  “My, my. You sure are in some kind of trance. Whatcha thinking about?”

  “How I can’t wait to begin sewing the christening gowns. I’ve decided to make them myself.” While she wasn’t lying about making the gowns for the twins, she wasn’t exactly telling the truth about what she was pondering, either. And considering the look the ladies were giving her, apparently no one bought it, especially when Sydney strutted in.

  “I may be late, but I know you’re over there thinking about my brother,” Sydney said, setting her motorcycle helmet on the coffee table in the sitting area and joining the ladies at the table. “I got the ball rolling. Now it’s up to the two of you to do something about it.”

  “Mmm-hmm. Not sure if I should be mad at you or not. I wasn’t prepared to see him. You could’ve given me a heads-up, Syd.”

  Sydney shrugged, reaching for the pitcher of ice tea and filling a glass. “Yeah, but then you wouldn’t have shown up.”

  “Are you finally going to hear him out?” Tiffani inquired. “Perhaps you both need the closure.”

  Elle exhaled. She knew the Chase women meant well and had been nothing but supportive over the years. “I’ve been contemplating that. For the most part I’m not as angry at him as I once was. Maybe now I can hear him out without wanting to throw him out the door like Uncle Phil used to do with Jazz on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.”

  Megan turned her chair toward Elle and grabbed her hands. “Sweety, over the years we’ve promised not to mention him to you, and we’ve respected your wishes. However, I will tell you that I know he’s truly sorry for the hurt he caused, and I know he’s still in love with you. He dates, sure, and the family has met a few other women but it’s not the same as it was when he was with you. He doesn’t speak about you, but I know when Tiffani, Syd and I all got married, he sort of thought you’d be there. He casually asked me who my bridesmaids were, which I thought was weird, but he was fishing for information. I don’t want to say too much because he is my brother and I respect him as well, but I also know he messed up. We were all mad at him, but I know you were hurt. I’m not saying you have to forgive him, that’s your call. Though, I’m sure there’s a lot you need to get off your chest as well in order to have complete closure.”

  “I agree, Megan. And seeing him again has made me realize that. I thought I had closure a long time ago.”

  “Well, I’m glad you have. Perhaps now you’ll stop avoiding visiting Atlanta and we can see you more often. Just because you aren’t with my big-headed brother anymore doesn’t mean you aren’t family. I hated you weren’t in my we
dding, and in Tiffani’s wedding a few months ago on the Florida Keys. It was just beautiful with close family and friends only. You fall into that category. Hopefully, you’ll be able to attend Layla and Madelyn’s christening and not have to be concerned about seeing Braxton.”

  Elle nodded her head in understanding. “I’ll try not to, and I’ve hated missing everyone’s weddings and special moments. Perhaps Preston will be next in the Chase clan to marry.”

  Tiffani coughed on her slice of honey dew. “Girl, my brother is avoiding walking down the aisle like the black plague. I do wish he’d settle down, though. All these gold-digging women are just after him because of his money and pretty boy looks. I want him to find a good woman. Heck, I even thought about hooking Blythe up with Prez, but she groans every time I say his name.”

  Blythe dabbed her mouth and tossed her napkin onto her empty plate. “And I will continue to groan. Tiffani, you know you’re my girl, but your brother is a player. I’ve dated those in the past and only ended up hurt and stressed. No, thank you.”

  “I’m just teasing, Blythe. He’s an awesome big brother and uncle to Keith Jr., but his track record with women isn’t. However, I hope one day he’ll find the girl that will sweep him off his feet.”

  Elle zoned out again as the conversation veered toward Preston and his escapades. She knew it was now or never and though the latter was less frightening, she had to be a woman and get it over with.

  An hour later, Elle bid the ladies goodbye and headed back to her hotel in midtown Atlanta. Upon arriving at her suite, her eyes landed on the white orchid on the coffee table, and she whipped her cell phone out of her purse and plopped on the couch. Her heartbeat sped up like a marathon runner about to cross the finish line while she scrolled through her contact list, found Braxton’s name and pushed it.

  * * *

  “Hey, Braxton. Come on in.” Elle stepped aside to allow him to enter.

  “Hey,” he said nervously as his chest tensed. Now that he was there to finally talk to her, he wasn’t even sure where to begin. He’d already hurt her once and now he felt like he was going to do it all over again.

  She looked young and innocent like she did in high school with a high ponytail, gold hoop earrings, fitted blue jeans and a white skinny T-shirt that enhanced her perky breasts. He gulped, thinking how was he going to get through this session when her cleavage was threatening to burst through the flimsy material. There would be time for that eventually. Right now he needed to jump over this hurdle, and pray she wouldn’t push him out the door, vowing to never see him again.

  “How was your golf game? Did you win?” she asked.

  “Oh, yeah. It was a good day.” I just hope it’s a good night.

  She motioned for him to sit on the couch, and she sat in the opposite oversized chair, curling her jean-clad legs under her. He studied her makeup-free face that held a look of anxiousness, and he wasn’t surprised when she broke their silence.

  “So...go ahead. I’m all ears.”

  Nodding, he glanced around the room and noticed for the first time her suitcases were by the door. She was leaving in the morning and he was glad she finally granted him the opportunity to talk. Clearing the frog from his throat, he exhaled and hoped their conversation wouldn’t make matters even worse. However, he needed to tell her for his own peace of mind and closure.

  “During the time we were preparing for the wedding, I felt like we were rushing into it. I know that’s all we talked about in college, but when it was actually happening, I froze. I...” he stopped as the hurt rose in her delicate face and tugged at his heart.

  “Let me finish the sentence for you. You punked out.”

  Tossing his newsboy cap on the table, he ran his hands over his head. “Yes, Elle, you are correct. The pressure from both our families, and the fact that I’d just signed a record deal, was weighing on me. You seemed happy about it, but you also wanted stability and I had doubts that I could be the man you needed me to be. You wanted a husband who would come home every day at the same time, have dinner and afterward cuddle, go to bed and start all over the next day. Before the record deal that was the plan. I’d gotten the offer to teach music at a high school here in Atlanta and you were interviewing for jobs in the fashion industry. However, all that changed. Despite what you may think, I wasn’t trying to put my music career first, but at the same time I didn’t want to disappoint you if I had a flop album and couldn’t support us. I didn’t want to drag you into that. All that was running through my mind leading up to the wedding.”

  Tearing her eyes away from him, Elle’s face scrunched as she seemed to process what he’d relayed.

  “So why didn’t you discuss this with me beforehand?” she asked in a calm but firm manner. “Before you just left me like I meant nothing to you.” This time her voice raised, and he noticed the fire in her eyes flame higher. He had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be extinguished any time soon.

  “I wanted to, but I chalked it up to having cold feet and being scared about the future. You seemed so happy and I didn’t want to hurt you, Sunshine.”

  “Oh, so you think being a no-show wouldn’t hurt me?” she yelled, bouncing out of the chair and standing over him as her hands rested on her hips. “Braxton, I was embarrassed. Here I am getting ready to be your wife and you don’t even bother to show up. I was terrified something had happened to you.” Pausing, she closed her eyes as one of her hands rubbed over her heart momentarily. “I thought you were dead, because that would be the only reason you wouldn’t show. Until Preston showed up and told me that you weren’t coming and brought me the yellow roses and that sad excuse of a note that said ‘I’m sorry.’ That’s all you had to say to me? You couldn’t be man enough to face me? After everything I thought we meant to each other you had the audacity not to tell me face-to-face. And I waited for you. After everyone left the church, I waited for you. I refused to leave and I locked myself in the dressing room like a damn idiot because I just knew you would come to your senses or at least have the decency to tell me in person. I couldn’t fathom why you would do that to me.” Her voice cracked as the tears began to flow. “Me, Braxton. How could you hurt me, babe? What did I ever do to you for you to disrespect me like that? You had to know I was hurting. You would do that to me?”

  She turned to walk away, but he stood and pulled her to him as she squirmed in his arms. She was unable to break the embrace as he held her tight.

  “Let go,” she sobbed. “Please.”

  “No. What’s our motto from our favorite Prince song?”

  Sniffing, she looked up at him shaking her head as he wiped the tears off her cheeks. “No, it doesn’t matter now. You ruined that.”

  Kissing her forehead tenderly, he lifted her chin so she could see the sincerity on his face. “It will always matter, Sunshine.”

  Sighing, she rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arms tighter around his waist. “That no matter what, we would always tell the other why we’re hurting or upset even if the other person was the reason why.” She wiped her face on his shirt and then frowned looking up at him. “It’s hard to listen to ‘If I Was Your Girlfriend.’ For years I couldn’t bring myself to play it. It was so us.”

  “Well at least you have a choice in the matter. It’s a popular request so I have to play it while thinking of you the entire time and praying I don’t tear up or something.”

  “I’ve cried a million tears over you.”

  “You’re welcome to cry some more. I’ll hold you as long as you need me to.”

  “I’m tired of crying.”

  “Elle... I am truly sorry for hurting you and not being man enough to face you. I’m truly sorry, baby. I truly am.”

  Breaking away, she trekked to the other side of the room. “I know you are, Brax. I’ve known that for years, but what I can’t understand is why you fe
lt you couldn’t come to me beforehand. We’ve been best friends since forever. We’ve always been able to talk about any-and everything. I’ve always had your back. I’d been nothing but loyal to you. What hurts the most isn’t that you didn’t show, it’s that you didn’t have enough trust and faith in me to listen to your reservations about getting married. You didn’t think I’d understand? You thought it was better to not show up and have me look like a complete fool in front of our family and friends? If you’d communicated with me then perhaps we could’ve postponed the wedding for a year or two. Instead, you left me. I sacrificed a wonderful opportunity for you and you left me.”

  Puzzled, he came to stand in front of her and wiped the tears that had begun to stream again. “What opportunity are you referring to?”

  “After you asked me to marry you, I was accepted into the Paris Design Institute but you wanted to get married a month after graduation. You said you wanted to start our lives together and couldn’t wait any longer and I agreed. I loved you and for as long as I can remember I’d wanted to be Mrs. Braxton Chase. I knew you were shopping your demo around and meeting with record company executives. You are a musical genius, Braxton. Even though you accepted that job at the high school, I also knew that wasn’t your true calling and you were simply doing that as a backup plan. I wasn’t surprised when you received the offer. You’re a master on the keys and a talented composer. Who wouldn’t want you? I knew what I was in for with you. I’ve known all my life. Yes, I’d stated I wanted the stability like our parents but that was going to be impossible with you because of your career choice. But I was willing to make that sacrifice because I love you. I was overjoyed for you and your big opportunity. I was your number one fan. I was the cheerleader in your corner at all times.”

  “I had no idea that you’d been accepted during that time. I had assumed you applied after we didn’t get married.”

  “You weren’t supposed to know. I’d already said yes to you and then I received the acceptance letter in the mail soon after. Our mothers had already started planning the wedding and...I just decided not to worry about it. I wanted to be with you. And then you didn’t even bother to show up.”