by J. L. Fynn
Tracy gave me a strange look. One I couldn’t read. Her eyes were narrowed, but she didn’t look angry. She looked, I don’t know. But then she threw her head back and started howling.
At first I was terrified. My eyes went wide. I knew it was bad, but this reaction was far worse than I’d expected. She gasped for air, but after a moment I realized she wasn’t upset. She was laughing. Really really hard. Her shoulders shook up and down and her stomach tightened with the effort. “That’s it?” she said, struggling to catch her breath.
“What do you mean?”
“That’s your big secret?”
“Yeah…” I trailed off. Was she mad at me? I didn’t know how to take her right now.
“The fact that you’re a Traveler isn’t exactly a big secret.”
“How’d you know?” I said, strangely affronted.
“Well, first of all, you look like a Traveler. I’ve lived my whole life about ten miles away from y’all. I think I know what y’all look like.” We looked different? Most country people had no idea, but I guess people around here would have seen us more often than folks up north. “Second, the guy at the bar called you a gypsy.” Well, that was a point. “And anyway, you have an accent.”
“What do you mean I have an accent?”
“An Irish accent. You say your vowels funny sometimes. They come right through your nose.”
“No they don’t!” That stung. I really prided myself on my ability to change my accent on a dime. Apparently I wasn’t as good as I’d thought.
“Not often. If I only talked to you for a few minutes I wouldn’t notice, but we’ve been hanging out a lot.”
“Oh.”
She moved over from the chair and sat next to me on the couch. My elbows were still on my knees but now I held my head in my hands. “It’s okay. I like your accent. I just wish you’d be yourself around me, really.”
She made it sound simple. “There’s one other thing,” I said. I wanted to tell her all of it, about the conning and Shay’s mission from Pop Sheedy, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. How much could I reveal before she’d send me packing and lose my number? So instead I said, “My pop—my da—I wasn’t helping him build a deck that first day I met you. I don’t have a deck, and I don’t have a da. He’s...” I swallowed. “Well, he’s dead.”
“I’m really sorry, Jimmy,” Tracy said, and she looked genuinely sad. She reached up to brush my hair behind my ear with her fingertips.
“No. I’m sorry. I feel like an idiot. And a coward.”
“You’re neither. I understand how hard it can be to reveal things about your family to people.”
“Yeah?”
“If it makes you feel any better, you’re not the first Traveler I’ve had a crush on.”
I jerked my head up to gape at her. “That doesn’t make me feel better at all.”
“Hush.” She held her finger to my lips. “In second grade Maw Maw made me go to classes at the church so I could take my first holy communion. There were a few kids in my group that were Travelers.”
“How’d you know?”
She let out a long, exasperated sigh. “Well, the accent again for one, and two, have you ever noticed how y’all dress? Especially when y’all go to church? How could I miss it? The girls were all in baby beauty queen dresses and each of the boys wore a white tuxedo. We were eight!”
“Okay, you have a point. Get to the crush.”
“So there was this boy Judd in my group—”
“Judd? Judd who?” Please, Lord, don’t let it be Judd Sheedy.
“I don’t remember. Don’t think I ever got his last name. Do you know him?”
“Travelers only use a few names, so ‘Judd’ could be any of a dozen guys. Even last names don’t always narrow things down because we don’t have a whole lot of them either. Really, you’d need to know his nickname.”
“All y’all have nicknames?”
“Most of us.”
“What’s yours?”
“Oh, mine’s not that interesting.”
“What is it?”
“It’s stupid.”
“Just tell me!”
“Fine, it’s Jimmy Boy.”
“Jimmy Boy.” She rolled the name around in her mouth like she was trying it out. “I like that. And your brother’s?”
“Buffer,” I said quickly. I didn’t want to get into why Shay had that painful nickname. “Can we get back on track here?”
“There’s not a whole lot more to tell. We liked to play together, but one day Judd’s mom saw us talking and she walked over and yanked him away. For the couple classes we had after that, he wouldn’t talk to me. Would barely look at me.”
“Yeah. We’re not really supposed to talk to country people.”
“Country people?”
“Country people, buffers. That’s what we call people who aren’t Travelers. We’re supposed to stay away from you.”
“Why?”
“It’s complicated.”
“I have all day. We’ve already established that.”
“I don’t know. Country people are supposed to be a bad influence or something. That’s what we’re told when we’re kids, anyway. That buffers are no good. But, really, the older I get, the more I think it’s just a way of keeping us in line. A way of making sure we can never leave the Village.”
“Do you want out?”
“No,” I said sharper than I’d intended. “Or, maybe. I don’t know. The thought of leaving Maggie and my brother, Shay. I don’t think I could do it.”
“What would happen if they found out that you were seeing me now?”
“I don’t know, but it wouldn’t be good. I’d get dragged.” Tracy cocked an eyebrow, reminding me that country people didn’t have that word, or concept really. “It’s sort of like being shunned. If you’re dragged just a little bit, people talk about you, leave you out of things. But at its worst it could mean getting kicked out.”
“I’m sorry, Jimmy. I had no idea.” She moved closer to me and put her arms around my waist, clasping them at my side. “No idea you were risking so much to see me.”
“Does that freak you out?”
“No, it’s sort of sweet.”
“Really?”
“Really.” She nuzzled her face into my neck, gripping my waist even tighter. I pulled my arms from her grasp and wrapped them around her. “I just want you to know that you can be honest with me about anything, Jimmy. I really, you know, care about you. I want us to be closer.”
“I really care about you too,” I said, breathing in deeply, taking in the strawberry scent of her shampoo. “You know what this means, don’t you?”
“No. What?”
“You’re a Traveler groupie.”
“Am not!” she said, pulling away to ensure I got the full effect of her indignant frown.
“Sure are.” I smiled and pulled her back against me. “You just can’t help yourself. Can’t resist our charm. It’s all right. I understand.”
“Don’t be a jerk.” She poked me in the ribs.
I grunted. “Easy, Bruiser. I’m just telling it like it is.”
I leaned in to kiss her and was surprised at the ferocity of her kiss in return. I cupped my hands around her head, burying my fingers in her hair. She leaned back, so she was lying down on the couch, and I leaned right along with her, shifting my hips so I was on top of her.
Our kissing intensified as she unclasped my belt buckle with nimble fingers, and I worked on the row of tiny buttons that ran down her blouse. It fell open and I pulled back from our kissing long enough to take in her flat belly and small round breasts. Apparently she wasn’t the type to bother with a bra, a fact for which I was very grateful. She pulled my shirt up over my head and I braced myself on one arm to pull it off all the way and toss it aside. I grinned down at her and she grinned back at me.
“You’re beautiful,” I said.
“So are you,” she said, and ran her fingers down my c
hest and stomach.
I kissed her again, reveling in the soft, warm feel of her skin against mine. I pressed my forearms into the sofa cushion under her head and tipped my head back so I could look at her. I smoothed her hair away from her face, and stroked her cheek with the back of my fingers, thinking about all the movies I’d seen, and all the times I’d wondered whether being with someone you really loved was all they made it out to be. By the end of that evening, I had my answer. It wasn’t anything at all like it seemed in the movies. It was much, much better.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“SO WHAT ARE your plans?” Tracy asked. We were lying in her bed, still undressed, but covered by a sheet.
“I’d hoped to stay here a bit longer.”
“No, not this second.” She flipped over on her stomach and leaned her forearms on my chest so she could look me in the eyes. Her breasts grazed against my side, distracting me from any rational, human thought. “I mean, what are your plans for life? Career, family? Your brother’s in college, right?”
“Yeah,” I said sheepishly. “He’s at Balanova. It’s a college right outside of Philadelphia.” Even though what I said wasn’t exactly a lie, it wasn’t the whole truth either, and the words burned my throat on their way out.
“You planning on going away to college too?”
“I—I couldn’t,” I said. Not knowing how she’d react. I still wasn’t ready to tell her about how my clan made its money or the long game Shay was playing, but otherwise I wanted to be as honest with her as I could be. She deserved that. “I never finished high school. Never really went at all, actually.”
“What?”
“Yeah, Travelers almost never go to high school. Our parents figure that we can learn everything we need to know about living from them out on the road. Plus, high school has too many opportunities to mix with country people.”
“But your brother’s in college?”
“He was the exception. He’s the first one in our clan to finish high school.” I’d always thought that fact was due to Maggie’s insistence, but now that I thought about it, maybe it was part of Pop’s plans all along. It was a bit convenient that he allowed Shay to go to high school, and then soon after he graduated, revealed a long con he’d had in the works since we were little kids. One that just so happened to require someone with a high school education.
“Weren’t you jealous that your brother got to finish school and you didn’t?”
“Not at the time. In fact, I pitied him. I got to have fun out on the road with my uncle and cousin while he was stuck at home studying, but now I’m not too sure.” I wanted to change the topic. “What are your plans?”
Tracy smiled and gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “I’m going to college next year. I’m hoping to get into LSU, but if I don’t, I’ll take classes at the community college here until I have enough credits to transfer.” She threw her head back and looked at the ceiling with a grin.
“There something up there?” I joked, pretending to inspect the ceiling tile over our heads.
Tracy looked back at me confused for a moment, then realized what I was saying. “I have a weird habit of looking at the ceiling when I’m excited. I’ve done it forever, but now that Maw Maw’s passed, I like to think that I’m looking up at her.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“No, it’s all right. Maw Maw was always my biggest cheerleader. She raised me. Have I told you about her?”
“No,” I said softly. “What happened to your parents?”
“My dad was never around as far as I can remember, and my mom ran off when I was little. She was addicted to drugs. Don’t know what happened to her. But Maw Maw was always there for me. This was her trailer, in fact. She left it to me when she died.”
“How long ago was that?”
“Over three years now. I was eighteen, but still in high school. I had planned to go to college right after I graduated, but between the cost of Maw Maw’s funeral and everything else, I couldn’t afford it. I’d already been working at the hardware store, and they agreed to up my hours. I’ve been doing that for the last three years, saving up, and I finally have enough together to go full time. Now I just hope I get accepted. LSU has always been my dream.”
“I’m sure you’ll get in,” I said.
“I don’t know. I’m worried they won’t like the fact that I took off that time, although I didn’t do terrible in school and my SATs were pretty good.”
SATs? They sounded vaguely familiar. I was pretty sure they were some sort of test you took to get into college. I think Shay took them when he was in high school, but most Travelers didn’t stay in school long enough to ever even hear of that test.
When Tracy and I were just having fun it was easy to forget that we came from different worlds. We fit together so well, but then things like this came up and I remembered how different we were. How little I knew about things country people cared about.
“I can’t believe how much you’ve done on your own.” I picked her hand up off my chest and laced my fingers between hers.
“I haven’t done that much.” She stared at our linked hands.
“Sure you did,” I said. “You never really had any parents. Then your grandmother died before you finished high school. Most people would’ve been crushed under all that weight, but look at what all you’ve done. You’ve made a nice place for yourself—”
“It was Maw Maw’s place.”
“Yeah, but you’ve kept it up. You’re going to LSU—”
“I don’t know if I’m getting in yet.”
I sighed. “You’re getting in. Just accept it, Tracy. You’re something special.” The thought of everything she’d been through made my heart hurt.
“I guess I don’t really think about it,” Tracy said. “Sometimes life really sucks, but you just have to keep going. That’s what Maw Maw always said. You just have to keep going. And I’m glad I have, because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met you.”
She snuggled against me. I slipped my arm under her waist and pulled her up so she was lying fully on top of me. She laid her head against my chest, and I stroked her hair. It was like silk under my fingers. “I promise you, Trace. Now that I’m here, nothing bad will ever happen to you again. I won’t let it.”
“You can’t promise that,” she said, although the fight usually in her voice had softened to a gentle chiding.
“Sure I can. You’ve been strong long enough. Now it’s time to let me be strong for you.”
I expected her to argue, but she only pressed herself tighter against me. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. Didn’t know how I could protect Tracy and Maggie and my brother, but at that moment I decided that I’d find a way. Now that I’d found her, there was no way I was letting her go.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“WAKE UP YOU lazy bones.” Maggie’s voice steamrolled through the fog of my sleep.
I rolled over so my back was to her. “Leave me alone,” I groaned.
“What time did you get home last night?”
My brain still wasn’t working, and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. I pulled my pillow over my head, hoping she’d leave me alone.
I should’ve known better.
I heard two sharp steps toward me. The pillow was yanked off my head. When Maggie spoke again her voice was in my ear. “Get up. I want to talk to you.”
Jeez. Maggie was insistent when she wanted something, but wanting to chat usually wasn’t top of the list.
“What?” I rolled over to look at her. Her back was to me now, pouring two cups of tea into mugs. I jumped down off the shelf bed and stumbled over to where I kept my clothes. I pulled on a pair of pants and a shirt, then sat down to the table with Maggie. “I was taking a nap.”
“It’s eight o’clock in the evening.”
“So?”
“That’s too late to nap,” she took a small sip of her tea. “Tired from your late night last night?”
“Maybe.”
“What time did you come in?”
“I’m sure you know to the second when I came home last night.”
“Two forty-seven,” she said, a gleam in her eye.
“See.” I couldn’t help but smile.
“So are you going to tell me about her?”
“Who?”
“The girl you’re seeing.”
“How do you—”
“No use playing dumb with me,” she interrupted. “Out with it, James Reilly.”
“Her name’s Tracy.”
“So she’s not a Traveler.”
“No.”
“Good,” she said firmly.
“Good?”
“If you’re going to mess about with some girl, better that it’s not one whose life you’ll ruin if it ever gets out.”
“So you’re not mad?”
Maggie took a long pull from her mug. “Jimmy, I haven’t made a lot of mistakes in my life, but the few I have made were huge. The sort you can never take back. The sort that keep you lying awake until three in the morning twenty years later. And let me tell you, not a single one of those mistakes came from chasing after the person I loved.”
Now that was more like Maggie. Talking in riddles. Telling you something that sounded meaningful, but actually made no sense. Inscrutable. Impossible to understand or interpret.
“I just don’t know how to make it work,” I said. “The thought of never seeing her again kills me, but what am I supposed to do? Leave the clan? I could never do that to you or Shay.”
“Don’t you worry about Shay or me. We’ll be just fine.”
I stared at Maggie, mouth hanging open. Why was she being so cool about this? Usually she was beyond over-protective.
