Locked in the privacy of the bathroom on my lunch break, I saved my favorite memories. The ones I couldn’t allow myself to relive in the hum of the restaurant. I lowered the seat and sat down, and let myself travel back to that first night. I closed my eyes and I could hear the deep rumble of Jack’s voice in my ear. He was leaning over my shoulder, both of us studying the documents on his desk.
The front of his thigh brushed against me as he leaned forward to indicate something. I stilled, mindful of him so near. I was holding my breath, waiting for him to move back again, but he didn’t. Instead his face hovered near mine, close enough to feel his breath on my cheek. He stayed like that for what seemed like forever, hesitating.
My skin trembled, waiting in anticipation for his next move. I remembered hoping that this would be the night that the tension broke and we gave in to each other. I had been so exhausted from pretending otherwise. As the memory faded in until it was as clear as on that night, my body was washed in the same feeling of anticipation.
Even now I could feel my flesh aching for his touch, liquid pooling at my core. I inched my hand up my leg, under the polyester skirt to my underwear, damp to the touch. Pulling them aside, my fingers found the source of my heat and I stroked myself, encouraging the rush of adrenalin that began pumping through me.
I let myself think of Jack’s hands and the first touch of them to my hip as we remained frozen in place at his desk. His hands grabbed me firmly, not a gentle caress, and I willed him to not move away, not deny me this time. And he didn’t. His hands curved along my hip and down to my ass. His actions were coarse, almost crude. I welcomed it.
After all these months I wouldn’t have been able to stand tender or gentle. All the close encounters and almost had me wound too tightly. The rough pull of his hands as he seized my skirt and jerked my underwear down was a delicious contrast to his usual mild manner, his polished smile, his tailored suit.
I recreated the moments of anticipation before Jack took me, spreading my legs wider in the narrow stall, letting my knees fall open and touch the cold metal walls. My fingers sped up as the rasp of his zipper echoed behind me. My heart beat faster, as it had three years ago when I felt him moving behind me.
He had his cock in his hand, the smooth tip pushing against me from behind. I had bent over his desk as I had envisioned doing dozens of times before. With my forearms resting on the glossy wood and my skirt bunched around my waist I hadn’t cared what a cliché I was. I wanted to feel him inside me and it didn’t matter where or how.
Rubbing my clit with my thumb, I slipped two fingers into my wet core and relived the moment when Jack thrust into me, no priming, no words exchanged. None was needed. Months of foreplay was more than enough. I accepted him wholly, welcoming his length with a low moan of pleasure. My wet fingers kept time with the memory of his hips. They thrust into me, unyielding, until I could no longer use my arms for resistance.
Jack gripped onto my hips, holding me firm to him, and continued his driving efforts. The pressure inside me continued to build until I was reaching my peak. Jack’s fluid movements were ceaseless and my body thrummed until I was crying out in release, my body limp under his hands. The roar of Jack’s own shuddering release was loud in my head. In the bathroom stall my probing fingers stilled, wet from a quiet, unsatisfying orgasm.
I leaned back against the cold porcelain and let my breathing slow. I could remember many different times we had been intimate, some sweet and gentle, some rough, but that one was my favorite. The hours of fantasizing, on both our parts as it had turned out, finally came to fruition that night. For four months after that we stole away every chance we got, up until the day he moved. Then I was back at square one, fantasizing about him all over again.
*****
I sighed and I looked around the disaster that was my living room. The end of day routine was upon me again and I began gathering toys off the floor. A week had gone by and despite Meg’s insisting that it was only a matter of time before Jack and I crossed paths, I had yet to decide what to do about him. Though I was sure we didn’t run in anywhere near the same circles anymore- Jack being a hopeful for the Governor’s seat and me barely scraping together enough for my mortgage payment- I had to admit that Meg had a point. At some point down the road it was bound to happen.
I dumped the armful of toys into Will’s toy box and played out all the scenarios in my head. If I ever did run into him what would I say to him? What if Will was with me?
I could move.
No, I couldn’t afford to start over somewhere, and besides, that seemed a little extreme. But I also couldn’t spend every minute I was out looking over my shoulder.
I scrubbed at the mystery goo on the underside of the coffee table like I was going to beat an epiphany out of it. In the back of my mind, though, I knew there was only one thing that I could do. I had to tell Jack about Will.
In some ways it probably would have been easier to tell him when I had found out. It wouldn’t have been hard to get a hold of him, Jack had left voice messages and sent me emails after he moved. I hadn’t returned any of them. Meg thought I was an idiot.
But I loved Jack. I never told him so, but I did. And more so I respected him and his big dreams. Jack was so very driven and focussed when it came to his career. And sex. I admired him for that and I knew what the news of my pregnancy would have done to those ambitions.
The guilt of keeping it from him didn’t go unnoticed, though.
It was a little easier when I didn’t think I would ever see Jack again. Only sometimes would I think of all the things he was missing out on, the memories I had robbed him of. But then I would remember that he lived three states over and he wouldn’t have been able to take part in them anyways. I found quite a few ways to justify away the guilt.
But now we were sharing the same city again, and I didn’t think my conscience could justify keeping Will from him anymore. If I told Jack and he decided not to be a part of Will’s life then that would be the end of it. Life would go on as it had been. Any other possibility and I would have to figure it out when I crossed that road.
I decided to move fast, the resolve still fresh. The next day, with a pep talk and babysitting services from Meg, I got in my old beater and headed downtown. The radio was playing a fast song, so I cranked it hoping the sound of the music would drown out the voice trying to convince me to back out. Part of me was excited at the thought of seeing Jack again, but it was swiftly tempered by the other part which was dreading the gravity of the visit.
Navigating through the one way street, I made my way to the Belanger Hotel. I knew Jack would be staying there because he always stayed at the same hotel when he was in town during his campaign stops. Lucky for me, or maybe not, Jack was a reporter’s dream- he charmed crowds, photographed well, and always provided a succinct quote. It was easy to follow him in the newspapers.
I drove past the hotel and down a side street, opting to find a free spot to park and walk back. It was a warm day and I had dressed in a skirt and a sleeveless blouse, both of which I had spent far too much time picking out. I didn’t have a huge wardrobe, but it didn’t feel right showing up in my usual collection of discount clothes. Especially when I had to walk through one of the nicest hotels in town. And see the most handsome man I’d ever slept with.
My nerves were kicked into overdrive as I walked through the doors. I didn’t have a plan, really. I was just hoping he would want to talk to me. I suppose I was hoping that he wouldn’t and I could leave, having done my due diligence. The woman at the front desk gave me a warm smile as I walked up.
“Could you give me Jack Lawson’s room number?” I asked, sounding as nervous as I felt.
“I’m sorry, but we can’t give out room numbers.” She said. I exhaled a relieved breath, thankful that I was able to avoid the whole thing, but then she added, “But I can call up to his room on your behalf if you’d like.”
I forced a smile and gave her a brief nod, the mix
of nerves and excitement churning my stomach.
She took my name and looked up Jack’s room. I strained to hear the brief conversation, but I couldn’t gain a single clue as to what Jack, or more likely his assistant, had said. Placing the phone back on the receiver, the concierge turned back to me.
“Mr. Lawson asked me to send you up. He is in room number 1201.”
I thanked her and made my way across the lobby to the elevator that would take me to the penthouse. I pushed the light for his floor and watched the numbers climb, hoping a kid would poke his head into the car and run his hand down the buttons, forcing me to stop at each floor and draw this ride out. Unfortunately, though, that didn’t happen and the doors dinged open on the twelfth floor mere seconds later.
The quiet of the hallway was maddening, creating a surge in my nerves. Standing before his door I took a calming breath before I knocked. Almost immediately the door was opened and instead of seeing an assistant I saw Jack standing on the other side.
I thought I had prepared myself for seeing him again, but being face to face with him I realized nothing would have properly prepared me. A powerful flood of emotions washed over me- passion, regret, guilt. I couldn’t stop myself from letting my eyes soaking him in. He was what remained of his dark suit. His jacket was off, tie discarded, shirt sleeves rolled at the elbows. His silky dark hair was tussled as if he had been running his hands through it. I smiled to myself as I recognized this look, as I had seen it many times. The signs of Jack Lawson in panic mode.
“Marie.” Jack’s voice was soft, and he too seemed to be taking me in. He leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek. It was the most innocent gesture, but my skin ignited under his touch. “I can’t decide if it’s a surprise to see you or if it seems like it was inevitable.”
“I guess I know what you mean. Sorry to just show up like this. If I caught you in the middle of something we can always get together some other time.”
“No, not busy. Come in.” Jack’s appearance told me he was lying, but he stepped back and allowed me in.
The suite was huge, with a large common area, kitchenette, and doors leading to four different rooms. I did a slow circle as I took it all in. Jack watched me, amused.
“This place is unreal. It sure beats the dives we had to stay at back in the day. I guess you’ve made it to the big leagues.”
“Not quite.” He smirked. “I usually stay in one of the smaller suites when I’m in town, but since I’m going to be here more permanently I needed something with more space. One of those rooms is a meeting room, so my campaign manager, Greg, can be sure I have no excuse to leave.”
I looked around again and realized there was no staff in sight.
“Where is everyone? Judging by your dismantled suit I would say you were knee deep in a hectic day.”
He laughed, “Am I that obvious?”
“Absolutely. Don’t forget that I’ve seen this look on you many times before.”
Jack’s voice was low and his eyes skimmed down the length of my body, “I haven’t forgotten.”
The intensity of his stare sent warmth surging through me, making my stomach quiver. I met that reaction with the mixed feelings of earlier. I couldn’t forget the reason I was here.
“Really, though, if you’re busy I can go.”
“No, stay. I sent my staff away.”
“Everyone? Why?”
Jack didn’t answer. Instead he gestured to the large sitting area near the window on the far side of the room.
“Let’s sit down.” Jack led us to two chairs nearest the dry bar.
“Drink?”
It was only 2:00, but I nodded. That may be just what I needed to get through this. Jack fixed our drinks then came to sit in the chair adjacent to me.
“Why are you here?”
That was direct. But I shouldn’t have been surprised, Jack had always been one to cut to the chase. He could dance around a topic like any other politician could, but if he wanted to know something he didn’t mince words. I cut my eyes from him, looking out the window while I answered.
“I read that you were back in town. I thought we should catch up.”
“You thought we ‘should’ catch up? Like an obligation?”
“Don’t do that.” I said flatly.
“Do what?”
“Interrogate me. I’m not your opposition. I came here to see you. To talk to you. If you want to know more than that you can drop the act.”
Jack ran his hand through his hair and slouched back in his chair.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve been working crazy hours and I guess it’s starting to show.” Jack picked up his drink and took a sip. He smiled. “You know, not many people talk to me like that these days.”
“Well don’t expect me to be one of them. I quit kissing your ass the day you fired me.” I returned his smile, our easy bantering returning effortlessly.
“You still remember the time you did that?” He grinned.
I reached across and gave him a playful slap on his arm. “You and your dirty mind.”
“And I didn’t fire you. You refused to move.”
“Seems like you’ve been getting by without me just fine since then.”
“Yeah, I guess so. But let’s not get into all that. I let my staff have the rest of the afternoon off; I think I’m entitled to getting it off too. What about you, who are you working for now?”
“Not who, where. I work at Vinny’s.” I said, cringing at what he was going to say about that.
“Never heard of them. What sector is it in?”
“Food industry. Vinny’s diner on 54th. Best onion rings in town.” I faked a bright smile.
His eyebrows furrowed. “You’re working as a waitress?”
“Yep.”
“I thought you liked working in the public sector. The way things were going you could have had an executive position by now.”
“I needed something with better hours. Stable hours. Eventually I would like to get back into politics, but this works for now.” Not to mention that I couldn’t look for another position with one of his colleagues after he left because it would have drawn attention to my situation. Our situation.
When someone’s unwed assistant gets pregnant it doesn’t take too long for the rumours to start swirling. By the time I was ready to go back to work after having Will I realized that working the long hours required wasn’t conducive to having a baby at home. But I didn’t feel as though Jack needed to know that part just yet. “But if you get to veto talking about work, then so do I.”
“Fair enough. You wanted to catch up, so let’s talk about another subject you love instead. How’s your family?”
I rolled my eyes. “Still crazy. I haven’t talked to them in years. How’s your mother?”
“Still crazy, but unlike you, I talk to her more often than I want.”
“It’s good to know some things don’t change. And your brother?”
“He’s finishing up law school. He still asks about you. He told me if I ever saw you again to give you his number.” I smiled at the thought of Jacks little brother. David had spent the summer working on Jack’s campaign staff the year I worked as his assistant. David and I were the same age and had lots in common and over the course of the summer our feelings for each other developed.
But whereas his turned romantic, my feelings for him were like a brother. I couldn’t fall for him when I already loved his brother.
I smiled. “David is sweet. I always liked him. I lost track of how many times he asked me on a date. He even asked me out the day he came down here to help you move.”
“He did? That little shit. And did you ever take him up on it?”
“No.”
“Why not?” Jack’s eyes focussed in on mine, their intensity burning into me.
I cut my eyes away from him. If he didn’t already know why I wasn’t going to tell him; the time to confess my feelings was long gone. I could feel his eyes still
on me. Neither of us spoke for a moment. When Jack finally did speak the humour had left his voice, leaving only the deep rumble.
“You know, if you need a job I’m sure I can find you something on my staff.”
I turned to look at him again, finding a familiar unrestrained heat in his eyes. “That’s not why I came here. I don’t want anything from you.”
“That’s too bad,” Jack leaned forward in his chair, our knees touching, “because I was really hoping that’s exactly why you came here.”
He licked his lips and my body recognized the gesture. It recognized that predatory look. The way my body responded was as if no time had passed. When Jack reached out and his hand ran up the bare skin of my leg I forgot all about the reason I had come here. My skin tingled with the anticipation of what was to come and all I could think about was Jack’s hands on my body.
ROMANCE: BILLIONAIRE ROMANCE: Completely Obsessed (Bad boy Alpha Male Pregnancy Romance) (New Adult and College Contemporary Romance) Page 61
