by Jo Ann Brown
Dismay dimmed Leah’s eyes, and Ezra understood exactly why she was upset this time. She didn’t want to lose her niece. Or would Leah go back to the city with Mandy if the little girl was unhappy here?
“Leah...” he began.
“Ezra...” she said at the same time.
When Mandy giggled, she said, “You’re doing it again. Talking together.”
“Go ahead,” Leah urged.
“No. Ladies first. What were you about to say?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again as the Gingeriches’ front door opened.
Reuben Lapp, their bishop, called from the porch, “We are ready.”
As the congregation moved forward to retake their seats on the benches in the main room, Ezra sighed. Later, once the new minister was selected, he’d try to find some time to be alone with Leah. It was long past time for them to talk.
Really talk...just the two of them. He intended to find some time for that later today.
Chapter Five
Reuben Lapp stood with the district’s deacon, Marlin Wagler, and their other preacher Atlee Bender in the center of the large room that was filled with backless benches. The gray-haired bishop with his impressive eyebrows and beard read the procedures for choosing the new preacher. Everyone in the room, save for the youngest kinder, were already familiar with them, and Reuben hurried through the reading. When he was finished, he didn’t ask if anyone had any questions.
As Ezra listened, he fought to keep from looking—again!—at Leah, who sat behind his mamm and his sister-in-law Rose. Each time he saw Leah in a familiar setting like this, it was as if no time had passed since the night they had kissed by the stream. Yet so much time had elapsed, and so much had changed. His daed had died, and Ezra had taken over the farm while his brothers started businesses of their own. Two of his brothers and his older sister had married. Now he had nieces and nephews galore.
But Leah looked as fresh and lovely as she had before she left Paradise Springs. The time away had added a maturity to her steady gaze, but her cheeks had their youthful pink warmth. That soft color had been the very first thing he’d noticed when one day he found that he had stopped thinking of her as his best friend and had begun imagining asking if she’d agree for him to be her come-calling wooer.
She caught him looking at her, and a faint twinkle filled her eyes before she lowered her gaze. In that moment, the connection between them had been so strong that it seemed as if nobody else was in the room. He was relieved that she no longer looked humiliated, as she had when it was obvious Abram had been talking about her with some of the other members of the congregation.
He shouldn’t be surprised. Leah Beiler was resilient. She’d proved that during her last couple of years in Paradise Springs when she sought sanctuary in his family’s barn, away from the arguments between Abram and Johnny, more and more frequently. That she had lived for ten years among Englischers and was slipping back into the ways of a plain life with apparent ease were clearly two more examples of her ability to hold on to what was important to her.
“The following men are in the lot to serve this district as Diener zum Buch,” Reuben said in his deep voice, which could resonate like a wild gust of wind through a room during an impassioned sermon.
Ezra heard the congregation draw in a breath as one. Nobody seemed to release it as Reuben picked up three copies of the Ausbund. That meant that three men would be called forward, and one among them would become the new minister. Within one of the hymnals, hidden so nobody could guess which book held it, was a piece of paper with verses written on it. The same verses were always used in their district, verses from the ninth chapter of Luke explaining how Jesus gave his disciples the duty to preach God’s word.
And He said unto them, Take nothing for your journey, neither staves, nor scrip, neither bread, neither money...
He glanced at his brother Joshua, who was already exhausted from working at his buggy shop and being a lone parent to his kinder. Ezra couldn’t imagine how Joshua would find time in his full days to minister to the membership and to prepare to preach every other Sunday. His brother-in-law Elmer Blauch and Ruth had seven kinder as well as their farm, and he guessed Ruth might be pregnant again because her apron seemed to be growing taut across her belly. Isaiah was a newlywed, married only since last December, and he was trying to find a balance between being a husband with his work at the smithy.
As his eyes swept the benches on the men’s side of the room, he knew none of the married men had time in their busy lives to take on the duties of ministering to the Leit, the people in their district. Yet, none of them would turn down ordination as the next minister if chosen by the lot.
“Abram Beiler, come forward,” Reuben said in the thick silence.
Leah’s daed stood and, without looking to his left or right, went to sit on a bench at the front that had been left empty for the ordination. His fingers shook, but his face was set in a stern expression.
A single glance at where Leah sat on the bench behind Mamm’s reminded Ezra that Abram had no son to help him with the family’s farm. If Abram was selected as the new preacher, he would likely need to hire a boy or two to assist in planting and harvesting. Perhaps Ezra’s nephew Timothy would be interested because, so far, the boy had shown little interest in following in Joshua’s footsteps and learning the steps for making a buggy or repairing one. He worked at the buggy shop but did only the most basic tasks like sanding or painting.
Reuben waited for Abram to sit, then announced, “Isaiah Stoltzfus, come forward.”
Ezra heard a soft cry, quickly muffled from the women’s benches. Rose, Isaiah’s wife, hid her face in her hands. Leah put her hand on Rose’s shoulder while Mamm whispered to his sister-in-law. He guessed they both were trying to calm her. He sighed. Not only could the weight of a minister’s duties on top of his ones to his family and job be massive, but the expectations placed on a minister’s wife could be onerous, as well. She must become a role model for the other women in the district, living her life and raising her family in the public eye. For a couple who had been married such a short time and were still learning to live as husband and wife, the burden would be even more difficult.
Even as Isaiah moved to sit beside Abram, Reuben said, “Henry Gingerich, come forward.”
The man, whose family was hosting the service, was almost a decade older than Abram. He glanced at his wife, who pressed her fingers over her mouth, but walked toward the front. Was she as astonished as Ezra that her elderly husband had been included in the lot? Henry was a gut man, and clearly at least three of the Leit had deemed him worthy of being their next preacher.
Ezra tried to concentrate on the prayer he should be sending up to God for wisdom for the man chosen to be their next minister. It wasn’t easy to think of wisdom when he felt sorry for Rose. Her soft sobs came from the other side of the room. He tried not to be angry with God for allowing troubles into the lives of those who loved Him. God could see the entire world and how each piece fit together, but the frustration he’d felt when he learned of Leah leaving with her brother returned doubly strong. Was his faith so fragile that any bump in the path he was walking gave him pause? He’d asked himself that question ten years ago and gotten no answer. Now he was asking it again.
No one spoke as Reuben set the three books on a table and stepped aside. One at a time, in the order they’d been called, the three men rose and selected a book. Reuben moved in front of the men who knelt. He held out his hand to Abram, who handed him the book. Reuben riffled through the pages, but no piece of paper fell out.
Isaiah was next. He offered the Ausbund to the bishop. Reuben opened the hymnbook and raised it to display the piece of paper stuck between two pages written in German.
Before either man could speak, Rose jumped to her feet. “No! No! No!” she shrieked. �
��No, not Isaiah! Please, God, no!”
Everyone froze, including Abram and Henry, who had been coming to their feet.
Everyone except Leah, who stood and put her hand on Rose’s shoulder again. Through Rose’s cries, she said in a steady, calm voice as she stepped over the bench where Mamm sat in astonishment, “It will be all right, Rose. It will be.”
Rose threw herself toward Leah, who embraced her gently and let her sob against her neck. Guiding the weeping Rose along the bench, Leah steered her toward the closest door, as if Rose were a fussy baby who was carried outside to be kept from disrupting the service.
Ezra started to rise, then halted and sat again when he caught sight of Isaiah’s face. His brother was clearly torn between his new obligations and his overwrought wife. Yet, Isaiah didn’t come to his feet as he readied himself to accept the duties and burden of serving God and the members of their district.
Leah reached the door to what he knew was a downstairs bedroom and opened it. Over his sister-in-law’s head, her gaze met Ezra’s. He saw both the sympathy and determination in her eyes. As always, Leah was ready to jump to the assistance of anyone who needed her.
His jaw tightened. Even though he should be grateful that she’d stepped forward to help Rose, the alacrity was a sure sign that Leah hadn’t changed. He had known she was being honest when she explained she’d gone with Johnny in order to try to persuade him to come home. Hadn’t she learned that she should look before she leaped?
Instantly he chided himself. Leah offering Rose solace was completely different than running off to Philadelphia with her brother.
Wasn’t it?
He was dismayed to discover that he was no longer sure.
* * *
Leah sat at a picnic table not far from the kitchen door, hand sewing patches together for a quilt top. The pattern eventually would become the one called Sunshine and Shadow. Even though the spring breeze gusted and tried to sweep the fabric out of her hands, she enjoyed piecing together the variety of squares into a great diamond pattern, though she would do the wider borders on her mamm’s treadle sewing machine. The style sold well for the quilts she’d consigned to Mrs. Whittaker’s antique shop in Philadelphia. She hoped her quilts would sell as well at Amos Stoltzfus’s store in Paradise Springs. One of the quilts she’d delivered to him was also in the Sunshine and Shadow pattern, but she could not wait to see how long it took to sell if she wanted to have more quilts finished to bring to his shop.
As her needle darted in and out of the cotton in small, even stitches, she gazed around the yard. Everyone had been well fed after the long service came to a close. The adults now were gathered again in small groups, and she guessed most of them were carefully not talking about the results of the lot. As far as she knew, Rose remained in the house, lying down in a darkened room, as her mamm and sisters joined Isaiah in trying to help her see that, though her life would change, it didn’t have to be for the worse.
Her smile returned when she saw Mandy running about the yard with a few of the other girls her age. She was giggling and obviously having a gut time. Maybe she would come to love living in Paradise Springs and stop talking about returning to Philadelphia as if the decision had already been made. Leah didn’t want to make her niece feel like a prisoner in Lancaster County, but the idea of losing Mandy was as painful as losing Johnny.
Leah’s thoughts were yanked away from her niece when she noticed Ezra striding toward the picnic table where she sat. Though he had glanced her way too often during the service, she hadn’t seen him since it was over. She guessed he’d eaten with the other men while the women readied food for themselves and the kinder in the kitchen. By the time she’d left Rose, knowing she could do no more for Isaiah’s wife, she’d been grateful to find a plate of food waiting for her on the kitchen table.
Ezra leaned one hand on the picnic table. His wide fingers were calloused from hard work, but she couldn’t remember them ever looking different. As long as she’d known him, he’d worked in the barn, eager to learn all he could about cows and farming. Unlike her brother, who always wanted to see what was beyond the next hill, Ezra had never wanted to be anything but a farmer and a cheese-maker.
“You look deep in thought.” His face was creased with lines she hadn’t seen before. Having the lot fall on Isaiah, and Rose’s reaction, were difficult for both the Stoltzfus and Mast families.
“I think everyone is, including you.” She lowered her sewing to her lap.
“Ja. Do you want to know what I’m thinking?”
“Sure.”
“I’m thinking that it isn’t going to be easy to have my naughty, impish little brother Isaiah as our new preacher.”
She smiled at his wry expression. “You’d better get used to the idea. The duties have been laid upon him, and he will do well.”
“You sound very certain of that.” He crossed his arms over his chest, which had broadened during her years away. He had taken off his Mutze, the black coat men wore to church services, and his suspenders were dark against his white shirt.
“I can’t imagine any of Paul and Wanda Stoltzfus’s kinder not giving anything they do less than one hundred percent of their effort.”
For a long moment, he stared at her without replying before he said, “Danki.”
“There is no need to thank me for speaking the truth.”
“Let me be honest, too, and say that I came over here wondering if you’d agree if I asked you to go for a walk with me. Henry mentioned something to me that I think you’ll find very interesting.”
“What?”
He tapped her nose as he had when they were kids and said, “Curiosity killed the cat.”
“I’m not a cat.”
“I’ve noticed that.”
Looking away from his abruptly serious gaze, Leah was suffused with a warmth that was both delightful and unsettling. She should come up with a reason to turn down his offer gently. To walk away with Ezra would be paramount to announcing to everyone gathered there that they were courting. Yet, he was right. She was curious what Henry had told Ezra that she would find intriguing. And, though she was reluctant to mention it even to herself, she liked the idea of having time with Ezra.
Leah put her quilting into a small bag, then set it on the table. The breeze was stiffening, but it wasn’t strong enough to send her bag tumbling to the ground. As she came to her feet, Ezra’s smile broadened. A pulse of happiness danced through her. His smile had always done that to her, even when they were little kids.
He motioned for her to follow as they walked toward where the teens were playing softball. It was the favorite sport in their district, and some of the younger teenage girls had joined in while the older ones watched and whispered about the boys. She could remember when she had played softball, and she recalled how her friends had spoken quietly of crushes on Ezra. She had listened to them, but she’d never thought of him as a boy she could have a crush on. He was her best friend, even closer in some ways than her twin brother, especially once Johnny reached rumspringa age.
Then came the night when Ezra kissed her, and everything changed. Again she wondered, as she had many times, what would have happened if she’d had a chance to ask Ezra about the wondrous kiss. She’d imagined him saying many different things when she asked if he’d intended to kiss her, but the time to ask him was long past.
As they passed the ball game, both teams of teens burst into shouts of excitement as two ran around the bases while an outfielder chased the ball. It rolled toward Ezra. He picked it up and threw it to the boy who’d raced after it. As the boy yelled “danki,” Ezra turned toward a path leading along the edge of a field. He gave her a brash grin.
“What?” she asked when he didn’t speak.
“No comments on my precision throw?”
“Pride isn’t gut, and fishing for
compliments can leave you with nothing for your efforts.”
He opened the gate. “To the point, as always.”
“Ja. I try to be.”
“Then I’ll get right to the point and say I didn’t expect to see you climbing over a bench today during the lot.”
“I suppose you think that is silly.”
“No.” He became serious as he let her step around the open gate first. “I think you were very kind to step in and help Rose. The rest of us were too shocked to do anything, but you helped her. I guess some things and some people don’t change.”
She frowned at him but kept walking. “Why are you acting like this? First you say you’re glad I could offer Rose some comfort. With the next breath, you make it sound like a bad thing.”
Taking off his black hat, he ran his hand through his hair. Several strands stood out at odd angles before he set his hat back on his head again. “That isn’t what I meant.”
“What did you mean?”
He raised his hands in a pose of surrender as he shrugged. “I’m honestly not sure what I meant. You haven’t changed, Leah, in your determination to help people. That’s a gut thing, right?”
“I think so.”
“Gut. Me, too. Can you forget I said everything I said but that I appreciate you helping Rose?”
“I was glad I could help a little bit.” Would he notice that she hadn’t answered his question? “Rose will come to accept God’s will.”
“I pray you are right.”
“God gives us nothing we can’t handle as long as we depend on Him to guide the way.”
“I would like to think that.”
She glanced at him, startled. Had Ezra’s faith faltered while she was away? Dismay clamped tightly around her heart. She had always admired his strong assurance in God’s close walk with them. Now...she was unsure what to think.
They strolled along in silence to the far end of the field. At the gate there, Ezra turned and looked back at the large white house with its dawdi haus attached to one side. Some buggies were already pulling away from where they’d been parked by the large whitewashed stone barn.
