by Kathryn Moon
“Gooood yes,” Lola moaned, her mouth slack.
She liked it. You lucky son of a bitch.
Lola squirmed under me, and that was all the encouragement I needed, drawing back before filling her with another deep thrust. Lola gasped, her hands gripping my shoulders, thighs squeezing my hips like a vice.
“Don’t fucking stop, Caleb!” she said, words broken and just a hint of a laugh.
I growled and started bucking in earnest, every slam in driving Lola a little up the bed toward the pillows. She moaned and rocked into the thrusts, encouraging me faster, harder. A thick haze settled over me, not a full rut but something like it, the imperative to fuck and to feel Lola writhing under me, begging for more and praising everything I gave her.
Her hands flew from my back, bracing herself against the headboard to hold herself steady. Our skin slapped together and I bent down, sucking on Lola’s jaw, my teeth scratching gently, aching with the need to bite her.
I wanted to consume Lola or be consumed by her. I wanted to fill her completely, to take every inch she could give me. My hands moved to her hips and with my next thrust, I pushed just a little, testing my knot against her.
“Oh god!” Lola shuddered, her eyes flying open. All around my cock, her sex clasped and soaked my length, trembling with her rising orgasm.
I pulled back. I needed to be inside of her, completely.
Lola’s hands slapped to my shoulders as I drove in, refusing to stop until we were joined.
“Caleb, wai—Ngh!!”
Lola stiffened beneath me as my knot dug into her, stretching her and making itself a home just inside of her opening. I roared at the sense of her holding me, as if it were her fist around my heart, and my cock pulsed with its first release, coating our union in slippery satisfaction. I sagged, lethargy and pleasure shuddering through me, and finally realized that the woman beneath me was not limp with weary pleasure.
You. Fucking…
“Lola?”
She whimpered, and a wave of shame hit me like ice water.
“Oh fuck, love, I’m so—I’m so sorry!” I tried to lift myself up, and Lola whined, making me freeze.
I couldn’t pull out of her without causing her more pain.
“Just…just give me a second,” Lola said, her voice thin and thready, her hands on my back softening and making a slow pass over my tense muscles.
She was trying to comfort me. I was the lowest piece of shit around, and I’d probably just ruined our night together. I sank down against her and Lola shook beneath me, trying to catch her breath.
Bollocks.
Nine
Lola
Pressure.
It was all I could feel. Like a hand around my throat or a cement block sitting on my chest, the sensation of Caleb’s knot inside of me was strangling. I didn’t want to move or breathe, just wanted to wait until it passed and he loosened and I could roll away.
Like that, Showgirl? Yeah, listen to you whine. Take it deeper.
“Lola, I’m so sorry,” Caleb murmured, his own tense frame softening one tiny fraction at a time, the knot sinking just a little deeper and echoing higher in my throat. Fuck, what if I was going to be sick?
Caleb had been like an unleashed beast during sex, and I’d loved every second of it, his loss of control with me, his desperation to be inside of me. Right up until I remembered with shocking clarity what an unleashed alpha needed most. To knot.
“Hang on, love,” Caleb said, and I could’ve killed him as he started to move. Every shift made me more aware of that dense wedge of muscle and nerve that fastened him inside of me.
Caleb held me close, jostling me as little as possible as he rolled us on the bed until he was on his back. I sat up immediately, my eyes falling shut as Caleb fit just that little bit further inside of me.
“I’m so sorry,” Caleb whispered, his hands stroking over my hips in a repetitive gentle path. “I’m so, so sorry. I wasn’t thinking, and I should’ve been more aware of what I was doing.”
I opened my eyes and blinked slowly, Caleb’s room coming into focus, the bed, him beneath me. His face was shrouded with self-disgust, and it made my heart hurt to see, especially when he looked so sweet against the pillows like that, hair mussed and lips swollen.
“I’m okay,” I said, my voice slow.
Caleb winced, his head shaking a little. “Lola, I…” He swallowed hard.
Except…I was okay, wasn’t I? I took a deep breath, and inside of me the knot—Caleb’s knot—shifted, grazing my inner walls in a way that tugged hard in my gut. Yes, there was pressure, and a pinch of pain too, from the stretch. But there was no humiliation, no burning agony of force.
Caleb had knotted me, a beta, because he was so lost in the moment, he hadn’t been able to stop himself. Warmth joined the heaviness and I sighed, rocking a little on his lap.
Caleb hissed, his hands clasping hard at my hips as if to stop me, while his knot pulsed inside of me. “Love—”
“Caleb, it’s all right,” I said, reaching down to stroke at his chest. “I’m okay.”
And then maybe to prove it, or maybe just because I wondered how it would feel, I squeezed around him, gasping as I realized where the knot hit inside of me while I was on top like this. Caleb’s groan was strangled, his body vibrating as if he were resisting the urge to rut from below.
“Does it feel different?” I asked him.
“Lola.” Caleb’s brow was furrowed with worry still, and I decided that I’d officially spooked him too much to let go again. At least as far as he already had. I took his hand from my hip and brought it to my sex, guiding his fingers to my clit and sighing with the first brush.
“Does it feel different to knot me like this?” I repeated.
“Yes,” Caleb squeezed out. “Tighter than Rake. God, Lola, have I hurt you?”
I shook my head and rolled my hips into his touch and then back again, little gasps with every movement. Was it too much? I couldn’t tell yet if I could come like this or if the intensity was too high. I was willing to give it a shot though. I could breathe clearly while I was on top, and there was no resemblance between Caleb or his rooms to those hours with Indy.
“No, it—” I moaned as Caleb started swirling my clit in earnest. “It doesn’t really hurt. You just surprised me. Can you sit up? I wanna kiss.”
There was something about the knot, or maybe just Caleb’s pheromones from minutes ago, but I was kinda high again like I had been during the heat. And it felt good, making me loose and relaxed. The longer I had the knot, the more I liked it.
Caleb sat up, and I tipped into him, taking his mouth in a deep kiss. He was stiff and tentative at first, but soon he was answering my thrusting tongue with long strokes, his purr rising between us.
“Fuck, that’s…ohmigooood,” I whined and twisted. Caleb sitting up moved him to a different spot, and I had to grind down to make his knot reach where I wanted, creating a new friction over my clit against his groin.
“You like it,” Caleb breathed.
“I fucking love it,” I slurred, nuzzling his cheek.
Holy shit. I was taking an alpha’s knot. And it wasn’t because I had to, it was because I needed it.
Caleb’s arms wrapped around me, finding the rhythm I liked as he worked me on his lap until I was too weak and too desperate to manage it myself.
“Fuck, Lola, you get any tighter, and I’m going to come again and this is going to last—”
“Come, come, I wanna feel you. Oh god, Caleb, yes!”
That delicious thick scent of Caleb’s was washing over me, wrapping me up in its embrace, and the orgasm seemed to take me like a tidal wave, dragging me mindlessly into rapture. I moaned, and Caleb took the sound into his own mouth with a deep and filthy kiss. There were three heavy waves, and Caleb stiffened and groaned on the third, his own release a warm burst inside of me. We rocked in each other's arms, losing our balance, and then Caleb regained control enough to move us.
“Don’t feel bad,” I murmured, opening my eyes and smiling as I found Caleb’s face so close to mine.
“I shouldn’t have lost control like that,” he said, but he pecked my lips. “What if you hadn’t felt safe or comfortable?”
“I’m safe and comfortable—more than comfortable—because I’m with you,” I said, nudging my nose against his. “Now we know.”
Caleb hummed and kissed me again. “What do we know, love?”
I grinned, and my eyelids were heavy. “We know you can’t resist me. And we know I like your knot.”
Caleb purred, but his expression was somber. “That’s not going to happen again. Not unless you’re begging. I don’t ever want to scare you like that again.”
I wrapped my arms around him tighter and kissed him deeply, Caleb cuddling closer the longer the kiss went on.
“Once more,” I whispered, rolling my hips against his and smiling as his eyes grew wide. “Please. Just before we sleep. Please, Caleb.”
Caleb was vibrating, his purr restrained in his chest. But I didn’t want him falling asleep angry at himself or worrying about what had happened. Not after a night like this one. The knot might’ve been a hiccup, but it wasn’t one I was regretting now.
“Please,” I whispered, kissing his lips in little presses, my eyes wide and pleading. “I’m begging now.”
I realized I could feel the slightest difference in his knot between when he’d orgasmed, and when he was ready to make me orgasm. It grew just a little thicker, his pulse pounding against my opening.
“You vixen,” Caleb groaned, following my coaxing hips in a slow gentle rocking. “No alpha is in control of themself when you say things like that, love.”
Those words were music to my ears.
I groaned as I rolled over the next morning, my nose bumping into a firm chest. My body was sore—not painfully, but definitely in a way that recommended I call a timeout on my own insatiable appetite for the men I was currently living with.
“Lola.” Lips pressed to the crown of my head, and I smiled, stretching into Leo’s embrace. I spread my legs behind me but there was no sign of Caleb on the other side of the bed. “He’s downstairs making us breakfast. You breakfast.”
“Us breakfast,” I corrected. There was no way Caleb would leave Leo out.
“Lola, did what I think happened last night happen last night?” Leo asked, and I finally realized there was an undercurrent of worry in his tone.
I lifted my head and shared my own sleepy smile with Leo, and he sighed with relief immediately, his arms looped around my waist squeezing me tighter.
“Maybe,” I said, grinning and biting my lip.
“Gorgeous,” Leo said, a low warning.
“Caleb got a little carried away,” I said, and then rushed to add as Leo stiffened and his brows rose, “But it’s okay. It caught me off guard, but after a minute I got my footing and…” I couldn’t speak with my smile so wide, and I broke out into a soft giggle.
Leo waggled his eyebrows. “So you liked it? Caleb was all over the place in the bond for a while there.”
“I liked it,” I said, which was an understatement really, because once I had Caleb as close as could be, I’d absolutely loved every second. My cheeks were warm as Leo peppered my forehead with kisses.
“Do you want breakfast in bed or downstairs with the others?”
Oohh. Both were good offers. I was tempted to say I wanted breakfast in bed with everyone together, but that seemed like an ask.
“Downstairs. After a quick shower, I think,” I said, moving to get up.
“Um…” I paused at Leo’s hesitation, and he shrugged. “If you can stand to wait a bit, it’ll give Caleb a nice little ego boost to have you smelling like him around the others. Up to you of course.”
“Oh! I hadn’t thought of that. Yeah, give me just a second,” I said, leaning into Leo to kiss him quickly before wiggling my way out of the bed and running to the bathroom.
Someone had already sorted our clothes from the floor, my red dress draped over the armchair in the bedroom. The more I moved around, the better I could examine the residual sensation of being knotted. It was a little bit of a hollow feeling, and I was generally kind of tender. Thinking of Caleb just made me more eager to go and find him, curl into his side and gain back some of that closeness we’d shared the night before.
Leo was waiting for me at the edge of the bed when I’d finished cleaning myself up enough to go downstairs, and he had a small pile of clothing at his side.
“Oh, bless you,” I said, sighing and plucking up the simple cotton underwear to slide into.
“I can feel Caleb downstairs,” Leo said, a dreamy smile soft on his lips. “It’s almost like he’s…humming? Kind of singing?”
I jumped as I worked into my leggings and then picked up my t-shirt. “You can feel that much detail?”
“When I want to. It’s sort of like he’s standing next to me, but also sort of like I can read his mind,” Leo described. He watched as I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail. It was greasy and it needed a wash, but I could wait until Caleb got a nice cuddly possessive hit of our scents together to make him smile. “Do you want a bond someday?” Leo asked.
I froze and my eyes slid sideways to find his on me, the subtlest calculation in his gaze. He was feeling me out, checking to see if I spooked at another mention of my involvement in the pack. I breathed through the anxiety, batted away the nasty words my brain tried to feed me, and moved to him. His hands cupped the back of my thighs as I scooted between his parted knees, and raised his face for a kiss.
“I think so, but I’m not ready for one yet,” I said gently.
I was proud of myself for not pulling away, and based on Leo’s warm gaze, he was proud of me too. He nodded, and I was glad that could be enough. I was trying to take his advice and let the idea of belonging with the pack, being part of the pack, soak into my head, but I still had reservations. What would it put Rake or an alpha or even Leo through to feel me in a bond while I was in the middle of a panic attack, or a nightmare? What would my own self-effacing thoughts feel like to them? I wanted to be healthy and happy, and I didn’t want to cause them any stress. I was working toward that, but I wasn’t there yet.
“Breakfast?” Leo asked, before nibbling on my bottom lip as if he couldn’t wait.
“Mmm, please.”
Leo and I went down to the kitchen hand in hand, and I greeted Wes, Matthieu, and Cyrus with a warm smile before sneaking up to Caleb’s back as he flipped an omelet in a pan. I wrapped myself around his waist and grinned into the back of his shirt as he started to purr.
“Morning.”
Caleb twisted in my hold, pulling me to my toes as his head bent. There was no reservation in his kiss, and I was glad to know that whatever worry or regrets he’d had about knotting me had vanished by the time we’d fallen asleep, bodies still tangled together.
“Good morning, love,” Caleb said, voice raspy and quiet. The way he lingered over his pet name for me filled me with heat and made me want to climb him and beg for us to replay the whole night over again.
You’re sore, remember? I was, but it’d be worth it.
Caleb kissed me, a lazy and deep kiss, and then lingered over my mouth. “Go sit. I’ll bring you a plate.”
I would’ve moved, except he was still holding me and I wasn’t about to just pull away. Someone whistled at my back.
“I wondered why I’ve been feeling like I’m walking on clouds all morning, and now I see it,” Rake said as he entered the kitchen.
“Well thank you very much for your compliments to our night together,” Cyrus said drily, and I grinned as Rake murmured something filthy and sweet to him in consolation.
Caleb finally released me w
ith a firm press of his lips to my forehead, and I wobbled as I turned and went to find an open spot. The last one left was between Leo and Matthieu, which suited me very well, but I grabbed a kiss from Rake and left one on Wes and Cyrus' cheeks on my way there.
Matthieu’s hand took mine as I settled into my seat, and he raised it up to his lips for a kiss on the back, his gaze smiling at me and making me blush. No worries there about whether or not he minded me adding another packmate to my bed. At least that was one idea I was growing used to—that as far as the pack went, I was welcome to form attachments where I pleased.
“Easter is coming up,” Caleb said at the stove. “Any family members joining us this year? Mum is staying with my sister.”
“I can issue an invitation,” Leo said, shrugging and then turning to me. “My dad’s a bit odd about the pack, and my mom goes along with him.”
“I was thinking of inviting Garret and Rory's pack to join us,” Wes said. “They're still new, and they could probably use the domesticity.”
“Those are alphas who work for Wes,” Matthieu supplied in my ear.
Both Cyrus and Rake answered no, which made sense. With what I knew of packs, once a child had found their new pack, it was pretty rare for them to spend a lot of time with their parents. All the more reason for the pack to be strong.
“Lola?” Caleb asked, turning and sliding a heaping plate of eggs and veggies and roasted potatoes and glistening crispy bacon to me.
Me? Oh. Family. I swallowed. “I can ask David, although he usually has a party he plans to attend for holidays.”
The pack was quiet for a beat, and I felt the question no one asked. What about my parents? But thankfully, these guys were kings of subtext, at least when it came to me. Caleb nodded and went to load another plate.
“He’s more than welcome if he’d like to join us.”
I hummed and tucked into the feast before me, relaxing as Caleb rounded the island, taking his place against my back, his gentle purr soothing away any threads of tension.
