by Kathryn Moon
“I like his taste,” Green said to me, at my side on the couch of Emmy and Chef's modest apartment.
Green was close, but not overpowering. There was something really calming and natural about his scent, but it was more like being in a vegetable garden after a rainstorm or taking a hike through the woods. Nothing like Caleb’s dreamy blanket pheromones.
“He was in a punk band, Washed Up,” I said.
Green’s eyebrows ticked up, and he combed thick black hair out of his eyes. “No shit? I used to listen to them. Huh.”
Green was…eternally chill. That or his CBD weed was just working really well. Probably both. I regretted not spending time around Baby's pack before this week. I'd been wrong about them on every count.
Compared to Green, Emmy—Chef’s beta bondmate—was steely and sarcastic. It took me a solid fifteen minutes before I realized she was making a serious attempt at being nice to me, simply because her version of that was a full-on interrogation.
“So how long have the six of them been together?” she asked me.
“Emmy, why don’t you just ask Lola for her pack’s social security numbers, now that you have everything else?” Green asked, causing Tiny to snort from my other side.
“I’m taking an interest,” Emmy snapped back, totally unafraid of growling at an alpha. Her legs crossed as she sat in her armchair and Prince crooned over the stereo. Her loose foot bobbed almost anxiously as the rest of her lounged, blonde hair with fire-orange ends spread over her shoulders. “Betas gotta look out for each other, right?”
“Right,” Juliet and Tiny chorused, raising their beers in the air in a toast. I followed, a little late in the gesture, but no one seemed to mind.
Green grunted and sat up from the couch. “That’s my cue. I’ll see you ladies around. Lola, find me if you need a refill. That’s the strain people seem to like to just combat anxiety and stress.”
“Bye, Weed Daddy,” Tiny cooed, and she cackled at Green’s soft growl as he left the room. She whispered when the door shut behind him, “I can’t believe I used to think he was mean.”
“He was just quiet and kind of,” Emmy paused and then made a cartoon version of an intimidating, stern face. “Baby fucked it out of him though.”
“Did you guys freak out when Baby arrived?” I asked.
“One hundred percent,” Juliet said. “Steve and I hadn’t been together that long, and he was fairly new to the pack too.”
“Brody and I talked about whether or not he’d leave the pack so we could just bond and be happy,” Tiny said, head tipped thoughtfully.
“He’d have done it,” Emmy said to reassure her. “Chef was there too. And then Baby was…well, Baby.” Emmy cracked her first real smile since I’d entered the apartment, and I relaxed into the couch at the sight. Good, I wanted the entire pack to love Baby the way I did, the way she deserved. That was clearly the case.
“Emmy’s talking like they were immediate best friends,” Juliet said with a snort. “I swear Em nearly punched her out when they met in the hall.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t,” Emmy said, rolling her eyes.
Tiny turned to me and shrugged.“Anyway, it worked out. Baby is family, and she did exactly what an omega does for a pack—smooths out the alpha temperaments and weaves all the ends in. Including us.”
“But this pack that you’re actively avoiding,” Emmy said, her pretty cat eyes narrowing into a deadly squint. “What’s the story there?”
“I’m not avoiding them. I just…I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of being a pack member. They’re like…a fairy tale. Or, no that sounds cheesy. They’re very real and they’re amazing people and I just…can’t figure out what I bring to the table, I guess,” I said, plucking at the label on my beer and listening to the new track on the playlist, a familiar David Bowie love song. The longer the playlist ran, the more I ached for Matthieu. It was one long love letter penned in music, and I wanted to wrap myself around him as I listened.
“Betas are underrated in packs,” Emmy said. She struck me as someone who was always ready with an opinion, while the others were more patient and ready to hang back and listen. “Everyone thinks that packs are alphas and omegas, and that’s it. Like the rest of us, you know, more than fifty percent of the population, are just supposed to mind our own business. But if it was just Baby and the boys around here, shit all would get done.”
“That’s not true and you know it,” Tiny said, laughter cackling. “Baby does a ton.”
“Baby organizes a ton, but let's be honest, she usually gets distracted by muscles. The girl takes sex breaks like a pack a day smoker,” Emmy said.
I snorted and shook my head. Considering what I’d just witnessed in the diner, I believed it.
“Stahhp, Emmy! You’re making it sound like she’s a nymphomaniac,” Juliet said. She was curled up on the floor in front of the coffee table, and she reached out to swat at Emmy’s legs. “Ignore her, Lola. Baby can totally focus when she wants to, it’s just that she usually doesn’t have to worry about it. But damn, if I had six dicks to play with, I’d be making time when I could too.”
I blushed at that. I did have six dicks to play with—at least, hypothetically. I probably couldn't keep up with them the way Baby did though. God bless bisexuality, it was definitely the reason I could still walk after a weekend at the house with the pack.
“Betas are the fucking shit,” Emmy said with an easy shrug. “Compared to an alpha or an omega, we can keep our heads on straight, or we can give into all the pheromone highs. We are the pocket knife of designations.”
“Super tricky to open?” Tiny asked, brow furrowed.
“No! Versatile,” Emmy said, pouting when her metaphor missed its mark. “So, don’t tell yourself you don’t bring anything to the table. Like, yeah okay, that pack sounds like kind of a big fucking deal, but you’re like twenty-five and you work at Designate. That’s plenty of room to move up in the world. And if they only have one other beta, then as a pack they probably need you for stability.”
“I think the last thing I bring the pack is stability at this point,” I said.
Emmy huffed but Tiny leaned into my side, bumping her shoulder against mine. “You never know. Before Emmy and I showed up to this pack, the bar was run like a charity service, Brody’s gym didn’t have anyone but pack who used it, and Chef couldn’t keep employees around because he was too much of an asshole.”
“My man needs me to put the smile on his face,” Emmy said proudly.
I hummed and shrugged. None of my guys had been hurting in their businesses before I’d arrived but…
But Matthieu had spent half his time away from the pack with Carolyn, Wes was pushed into the background, and Rake and Leo were both getting involved in relationships outside of the pack. Ever since I’d been staying with them, and even before, the entire pack was always present for family dinner. And I’d stepped in for Designate before Wendy could tear it down.
“So what happened to your purple hair?” Emmy asked me.
I blinked and startled. “Wow, you remember that? Umm, it faded and then kinda just grew out. I miss it, but I think I just got used to flying under the radar.”
Tiny sat up straighter and leaned forward. “How much would you say you miss it?”
She had a predatory gleam in her eye, and when I glanced at the others they both shared the look, eyeing my blonde hair hungrily.
“What did you have in mind?” I asked, and Tiny grinned at me, rubbing her palms together like some old movie villain.
Hands gripped my wrists and ankles, fingernails digging into the back of my neck. I was pulled and stretched in every direction, shoulders tearing and legs splitting, a high howl of pain ringing in my ears as I screamed.
“Take it, Showgirl.”
I woke up to my own heartbeat pounding in my ears as I sat up on the pull out, gasping for my breath and stifling my scream to whimpers. My fingers dug into the mattress, my eyes scann
ing the tiny apartment unit for any sign of danger. Any sign of Indy. As the darkness settled into the semi-familiar shapes of the room and my racing heart calmed, I realized the pounding wasn’t all in my own head. Someone was knocking on the door.
“Lola? It’s me, Baby. And Tornado,” Baby said in a small, worried cry from outside the door.
I panted and shook myself, rubbing goosebumps off my arms as I slid out of the bed and stood at the door, sliding the chain lock out of the way and pulling it open.
“Hi, sorry,” I said, blinking against the dim hall light. I glanced at the alarm clock near the bed. Four-thirty was earlier than I really wanted to be awake, especially since I’d gotten in bed closer to midnight after goofing off with the girls, but it would be easier to get ready slowly than try to find sleep again. “Just a nightmare, but I’m fine.”
“You want company?” Baby asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Little bit of a snuggle?”
“I think I’ll just shower and find myself some coffee. Go on back to bed.”
Baby’s lips pursed and she looked at Tornado, who offered her an easy smile, despite the exhaustion in her own gaze. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I’ll go get the coffee, you two just get comfy.”
He left, and Baby pushed her way into my apartment, the door clicking shut behind her.
“You really have these guys wrapped around your fingers,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
Baby—who had Tornado’s rough and sweet scent all over her, as well as a rich and creamy coffee scent—just helped herself to the pullout, slipping under the blankets and holding her arms out for me. I sighed and followed her in, letting her fold me up in a cuddle. It did feel nice actually, Baby and her alpha’s scents weaving like a complicated blanket through my head to block out the nightmare.
“When I wake up from a nightmare, this is what helps,” Baby said, squeezing me close and resting her cheek against my head. “So you’re stuck with my home remedy.”
“What kind of nightmares are you having, babe?”
I’d meant it as kind of an absent question, something to clear my own head, but as Baby’s quiet grew between us, I tensed. I moved to sit up and looked down at my best friend as she stared up at the ceiling.
“Babe?” It occurred to me then that I knew my own experiences with Buzz and Indy. But Baby had been kidnapped by them. Had they…? Bile rose in my throat until Baby looked my way, her gaze distant.
“I killed Buzz.”
Of all the things I’d prepared myself to hear in that brief pause, it sure as hell wasn’t this. I sat up with a jolt and twisted to face Baby as she sighed and pushed up, leaning against the back of the couch.
“You…what?”
Baby stretched her neck and rolled her shoulders, trying to force tension out of her body as her eyes stared down at her own lap. Her brow furrowed, and then she looked at me, jaw firm.
“I know what he had planned for me, but it was more than that. He had Emmy too, and when they found out I was bonded, they said they were going to kill my guys to break the bond. I had to get out. And that fucker had a gun on him, used it to threaten me. Like he thought I couldn’t do anything about it,” Baby said in a snarl. Her face settled in a smooth calm that Baby hardly ever wore. “So I did something about it.”
I tried to make my dropped jaw close, but my face was numb and refused to listen.
Baby’s eyes winced as she stared back at me. “Are you mad?”
Finally, I blinked. “Wait, what? Baby, why would I be…I’m not mad! I’m…shocked. But only because this isn’t the kind of thing you really expect to hear.” Baby—Baby, my beta-proud, no-longer-beta best friend—had killed someone.
He deserved it, I thought.
“The police said he was shot in the arrest altercation,” I said, frowning.
Baby nodded and twisted her hair back over her shoulder. “Um, yeah. They said friendly fire, they thought. We don’t know if they really believe that, or if they just didn’t want to press the issue with us, or if they don’t care how Buzz is gone. And I don’t regret it, exactly. I just sometimes can’t avoid remembering it.”
“So you’re just…a badass?” I asked, staring at Baby.
Her eyes widened and my lips twitched. My head wasn’t totally wrapped around this whole concept of Baby shooting someone, but as far as I could tell, neither was hers. She protected herself, her friend, and her pack. And if Buzz was still alive today…well, I certainly wouldn’t be sleeping any easier.
Baby huffed and shook her head. “Shut up. I just…I was running on animal instinct. The aftermath of that catches up to me at night sometimes. But Brody does have a special night in the gym just for training all the girls in hand to hand combat. It’s tomorrow, if you wanna come.”
Considering Wes and I had barely gotten started on the concept before getting totally distracted in…well, each other, that seemed like kind of an awesome idea. “I’ll be there!”
“Also, is it this lighting or is your hair like…rainbowy?” Baby asked, leaning forward and squinting.
“Took you long enough to notice,” I said, smiling and turning my head to the side for her to admire the subtle shifts of pale color. “The girls did it. It’s the opal effect.”
“I fucking love it. I wish I was brave enough to color my hair,” Baby sighed.
I opened my mouth to answer when there was a soft rap on the door. It opened, and Tornado came in with two full mugs of coffee.
“You can only have this because I know one isn’t enough to make you start bouncing off the walls,” Tornado said softly to Baby, passing her a mug. For a guy with a name like a storm, I found Tornado really pretty peaceful to be around.
He passed me my own mug and grabbed a chair from the small dining table, pulling it over to join us. “Do you have a lot of nightmares?” Tornado asked me.
I hummed as I took a sip of the coffee. Not quite as smooth as the coffee at home, but Baby’d always liked hers black as the night sky. “I do, usually. It sounds cheesy to say, but I kind of get a break from them when I’m with the pack.”
“That doesn’t sound cheesy at all,” Baby said, reaching out to squeeze my bare calf.
“I used to get night terrors constantly,” Tornado said. “I always made sure to sleep alone. I was terrified about bonding Baby because I thought she’d start feeling my PTSD symptoms.”
I swallowed, and my eyes flicked between them. I was terrified of sharing my own anxieties in a bond too. “And?”
“I can feel them coming on, but that’s exactly what's great about the bond,” Baby said, smiling at Tornado.
“It’s like having a lighthouse kind of calling out to you, showing you where the rocks are in the water,” Tornado mused.
“I can always pick out my own feelings from his and vice versa, so it’s more like an alert system. And then I can try and do my best to just weather it with him,” Baby said.
“Now night terrors are more like standard nightmares,” Tornado said with a nod. “I have Baby in the background with me, separating reality from the trauma.”
Which meant that my worry was for nothing. If anything, I would feel safer in my own head with a bond. Kind of exactly like Leo said you would.
“We’ll let you get ready for the day,” Baby said sweetly, and I thought I caught the faintest hint of smugness in her smile. Had she put her alpha up to this? Talking me out of my fears in committing to my pack?
Well, you’re already sort of settled on the possessive there, so maybe it’s time to get with the program.
“I love you, babe,” I said.
“I love you more,” Baby said as she sailed out of the apartment door and left me with a spinning head.
Seventeen
Wes
I fucking hated nightclubs. They were crowded, no one was aware of their own surroundings, you paid way more than it was worth to be sweaty in a group of strangers while loud music pounded from speakers, and you drank thinly alcoho
lic beverages. Mostly though, I was a shit dancer and not a big fan of people I didn’t know touching me.
I pushed the beta girl that tried to climb me back onto her own feet and spun her in the direction of a different alpha. I’d been hoping the next time I ended up in a place like this, I’d be with Lola. I might be a shit dancer, but I’d seen how she moved. I was pretty sure I could learn simply because following her sinuous dancing would be a magnetic reaction. But Lola was still with the Howlers, and I was stuck here on…
Well, it wasn’t exactly business.
I scanned the swarm of intoxicated partiers around me as if I might spot her in the crowd. Eve. Our hired killer.
I’d nearly called the whole thing off when I got word she wanted to meet me before accepting the hire. I was trying to avoid getting tangled up with this job more than necessary, and I certainly didn’t want there to be any link between us. Meeting in a sea of witnesses seemed like the worst kind of idea.
But it wasn’t like I had a whole pool of hitmen to tap for this kind of job. And I couldn’t talk myself out of wanting to see this through. Lola needed to live without the threat of Indy anywhere in the world. Hell, women in general could do without the asshole. And my pack needed to be safe too. Indy was dangerously specific with his warning texts to Lola. He had his little network hunting my pack at the same time that my team was hunting them.
Hopefully, Eve would turn the tables in our favor.
I’d been instructed to wait on the dance floor to be met by a contact, but I was starting to lose my patience. There were a few alphas at the club, but generally it was full to the brim with betas, and I was attracting too much attention. When hands stroked down my back, reaching around my waist, I spun with a soft growl in my throat, ready to chase off another overeager girl.
Spice tickled my senses first, and then the metallic and sweet grease of gun oil. The woman in front of me had a smooth, stunning face, and she towered nearly to my height in a pair of skyscraper heels. Her body buzzed with energy, and her eyes struck like flint against mine.
