She started to nod, but quickly realized what he’d said. “Absolutely not. I don’t want you touching me at all.” She lifted her voice.
He arched an eyebrow. “But I think you do. In fact, if last night was any indication of how you don’t like to be touched—”
“Mr. Dean,” she snapped, raising to her feet and planting her hands on her hips. Heat rushed to her face and burned her cheeks. “I do not think we need to bring that up.”
He stood and faced her. “But, Juliana, I think differently. If you don’t want me to touch you, why did you fall so easily into my arms last night and allow me to kiss you?”
Another wave of heat consumed her face. “I—I was vulnerable last night, and you—you took advantage of that.”
He took a step closer. “You cannot tell me you didn’t enjoy one moment of it, because I know differently.”
“Then I must have fooled you because a real woman does not like to be pawed at.”
Taking another step forward, he seized her shoulders, bringing her body up against his. “Although ye were raised a gentle bred woman, ye’re far from proper, me dear. Ye proved that durin’ our first meetin’ when ye ogled me while I was in the pond.”
She gasped and struggled to lift her hand to slap him, but he had her limbs pinned between their bodies. Curse him for noticing her weakness and mentioning it. And curse him for forgetting his speech and letting it slip back to the Scottish brogue she liked so well.
Since she couldn’t hurt him physically, she’d do it with her words. “And you, sir, are not a gentleman. Have you forgotten you are just a servant...a mere stable hand? It doesn’t matter what clothes you wear, you will always be lower than I, and not good enough to be in my company.”
His gaze turned cold and his blue eyes pierced right through her. Her heart twisted. She shouldn’t have said that. But when her temper was sparked, she couldn’t stop herself. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she act like a proper lady, especially when arguing with another person? As always, she didn’t think before speaking.
“Do ye expect me tae act like yer lovin’ husband in front of yer family and no’ have the privilege of touchin’ ya?”
“Of course.”
“Then ye’re correct. I’m no’ a gentleman because I’d no’ be able tae act like that and receive nothin’ in return.”
“I’m paying you quite well, Mr. Dean.”
“I’m no’ referrin’ tae money. I’m talkin’ about a little affection. I have feelin’s ya know, and if I’m constantly playin’ the lovin’ husband, then I’d better get some lovin’ back.”
Her heartbeat pounded in an irregular rhythm, and it had nothing to do with fright. His gaze darkened, and although lines of anger still marked his forehead, his eyes were telling her something else. The look was very similar to the one he gave her last night...before the kiss.
She lifted her chin in defiance. “Not from me, you’re not.”
“We’ll see about that.”
He yanked her closer as his mouth swooped down and covered hers. She struggled to free from his overpowering hold, but he did not relent. He circled her waist with one hand while the other cupped her head to his.
His lips moved back and forth over hers, and the more she struggled, the more he tightened his arms of steel. He lifted her in his arms and took two steps to the bed. As he laid her down, he covered her with his body. Warmth from his body blended into hers, and the strokes from his hands sent tingles skipping over her skin.
Heat coursed through her faster, and she didn’t want it to end. Yet she should stop it. After all, she was a lady no matter how much he argued the point. Although they pretended to be married, he couldn’t treat her like they really were.
She pushed at his shoulders, and turned her head. “Andrew, no. Please don’t. You’re hurting me.”
He lifted his head and gazed into her eyes. Anger no longer marked his face. Instead, his mouth turned down in a frown. His chest rose and fell quickly, as did hers, but he didn’t move. Just continued to stare.
He squeezed his eyes closed. “Oh, Juliana.” He dropped his face to her neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
His breath fanned her skin and sent trickles of delight over her. She shouldn’t be enjoying this at all, but deep inside, she wanted a man’s loving touch. She yearned to be treated like a desirable woman.
She brushed her hand across his cheek until he turned his face to look at her. “Andrew,” she whispered. “It was my fault. If I hadn’t let my temper get away with me—”
“No. Don’t blame yourself. I just got caught up in the moment. Acting like a loving husband is something I’m not used to doing. You’re an attractive woman. I can’t help but want to act upon my feelings.”
His anger must be gone, because so was his accent. She was almost disappointed.
“You...think I’m pretty?”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a grin. “Pretty isn’t the word, my dear. You’re a vision of beauty.” He swiped his finger across her cheek. “I find myself watching you more than I should.”
She sucked in a ragged breath. “Why do you think you should not watch me?”
“Because you are my employer. If you recall correctly, I work for you.”
She smiled. “Yes.” She moved a lock of his hair off his forehead, but it sprang back into place. His smoldering eyes took her breath away...as did his inviting lips. She hadn’t enjoyed the way he kissed her just now—so demanding and rough—but she couldn’t forget about the kiss they’d shared last night.
“Juliana?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know what it does to me when you look at my mouth like that?”
Her heartbeat skipped in double time. “No.”
Leaning on his elbows, he loomed over her. His gaze locked on her lips. “Do you not remember what I told you in my room last night at the inn?”
She nodded slowly. “You said when I look at a man like that it makes them want to kiss me.”
“Precisely,” he whispered as he brushed his lips across hers. “Is that what you want?”
Heaven help her, she did. “I—I don’t know.”
He rubbed his mouth over her cheeks, toward her ear. “I promise not to be harsh this time. I promise to show you tenderness like you’ve never experienced before.”
All she wanted to do was close her eyes and allow him to show her what he’d suggested. But she couldn’t. Having these kinds of feelings for him wasn’t right. Andrew was not her husband, and never would be!
“Juliana, tell me what you want.”
She opened her mouth to answer him truthfully, to ignore the doubts and warnings in her head and let him actually be a husband to her, but a knock came upon her door mere seconds before it opened. Andrew tightened his arms around her, and they both swung their heads toward the intruder.
“Juliana—” Madeline stood in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth agape. She sucked in a breath and her hand flew to her throat. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
Andrew rolled away from Juliana as she sat on the edge of the bed.
Madeline’s face flamed. “I—I didn’t know—”
She turned to leave, so Juliana scrambled off the bed to stop her. “No, Maddie. Don’t leave.”
Maddie turned, her eyes narrowed in confusion. Juliana could have laughed. This situation was most embarrassing, but she was very relieved something had stopped her from continuing on with Andrew. Heaven knows what would have happened.
She chuckled. “I just wondered what you needed, Maddie?”
Her sister chewed on her bottom lip as she stepped back into the room. “I...um...I came to inform you dinner will be served in one hour.”
Juliana hurried to her and clasped her hand. “Wonderful. Would you like to help me choose a gown?”
If her sister’s eyes opened any wider, Juliana was certain they’d pop right out of Maddie’s skull. But truth be told, Juliana had never been this polite to her sister. The old J
uliana would have ripped into her sister from the intrusion and left her in a sobbing fit of vapors.
Maddie shifted her gaze from Juliana to Andrew, who remained sitting on the bed. “Well...uh...”
Andrew cleared his throat and stood. “Ladies, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll retire to my room to change for dinner as well.”
Juliana sighed. Once again, he pulled off a splendid performance like a true gentleman. Too bad she couldn’t act like a proper lady.
After Andrew closed the adjoining door, Juliana shut her eyes and said a silent prayer. If Maddie hadn’t arrived at that time...
Juliana quickly moved to her closet and opened the double doors to look through her collection of gowns. She couldn’t act too strangely in front of her sister. Maddie could never suspect the truth. “Which one should I wear tonight?”
“Well, since tonight won’t be anything formal, you could wear almost anything.” Maddie stepped beside her and moved a few dresses aside. “Oh, how about this lovely lavender frock?”
Juliana gritted her teeth. By the tone of voice her sister used, it warned her of Maddie’s suspicion. Of course her sister would act this way. Juliana was being polite. Quick, Juliana. Think of an explanation.
“You know,” Juliana said, taking hold of her sister’s hand. Maddie’s eyes widened again, so Juliana continued. “We have really never been able to get to know each other. Not like true sisters. I think we should put the past behind us and start anew.”
Maddie arched an eyebrow. “Indeed?” She cocked her head. “Who are you, really? Where is the sister I remember from my childhood?”
Juliana laughed. “She has disappeared. I have changed, Maddie.”
Her sister’s lips twitched as if she was holding back a grin. “Are you trying to tell me your marriage to Andrew has changed you? Perhaps love is what has changed you?”
Juliana shrugged. “Perhaps.” She withdrew the gown and held it against her body. She frowned. “I do not think this choice is suitable for tonight. The bodice is daringly low cut.”
Maddie giggled then smacked her hand over her mouth. Juliana gave her a quizzical stare.
Her sister shrugged. “Forgive me, Juliana, but we are among family tonight, so what should it matter? Besides, I think Andrew would approve of your choice of dress for this evening.”
Inwardly, Juliana panicked. That’s what she feared. Andrew would definitely approve...and she couldn’t have that. She couldn’t let him touch her ever again. She was too weak around him. Weak was not a word in her vocabulary. Weak was not part of Juliana Beaumont’s persona, either. Yet it seemed every time he held her in his arms, her body melted.
Juliana flipped her hand. “As it is, I would still feel uncomfortable wearing such a dress.” She hung the gown back in the closet and chose another that wasn’t so daring.
“Did you know,” Maddie said, “Mother will not allow me to wear anything that shows even a hint of my shoulders? She thinks I’m too young.”
Juliana stared back at her. “Too young? I think not. You are the perfect age. Of course, you don’t want to display too much. You don’t want to have a reputation like some girls I know.”
Maddie laughed. “Yes, but our parents are so strict. If they had their way, they would turn me into a spinster or a nun, I just know it.”
Juliana laughed lightly, finally feeling back to normal. “Oh no, Maddie. You’ll never be a nun.” She paused as a wild idea took root inside her mind. “In fact, I have a plan. For my birthday ball, we are going to dress you in a very beautiful gown. The young men will not be able to take their eyes off you.”
“Indeed? Do you mean it?”
“Yes. I have nothing better to do.”
“But I don’t own anything remotely lovely or eye-catching.”
“Then we’ll go shopping tomorrow.”
“Oh, thank you, Juliana.” Maddie cheered as she gave her sister a hug, something that had never happened before. But what was more surprising was that Juliana returned the hug, and enjoyed the close feeling.
Chapter Five
Andrew sipped his wine as he glanced around the dinner table. His darling wife sat immediately to his left. Across the table, Juliana’s very curious sister, Madeline, drummed her fingers on the table as she stared out the window. Prettier than he’d expected, he dared not concentrate too much on the young beauty, and he hesitated in talking to her on a personal level. Her eyes were too quizzical...as if she knew what role he played in Juliana’s game of deceit.
He continued his charm, hoping to gain the family’s trust and respect. After all, he really was their son-in-law.
Although he played a role, he still wanted to feel like he belonged with their class of people. Even if he blamed the wealthy for killing his family, he still wished to be accepted. The longer he visited with the Beaumont family, the more that hunger grew within him, to where he wouldn’t be satisfied any other way.
He rested his gaze on Juliana. This evening she had a sparkle in her eyes, and when she looked at him, the warmth from her stare nearly melted his heart. Holding her and having her stare at him so tenderly not too long ago had been his undoing. Her passion was like sweet nectar to his needs, and he craved more.
There was no doubt she had enjoyed their brief moments on her bed before Madeline barged in. He would get Juliana alone tonight and urge her to tell him what she hadn’t done earlier. He was certain she fought her feelings for him, but he’d charm her into talking. Lifting his glass to his mouth, he hid the grin sneaking across his face as anticipation grew inside him.
He hadn’t really been paying attention to the conversation, as his own thoughts kept him entertained, but when concern laced Clifford’s voice, Andrew focused on his father-in-law. Worry etched its ugly mark in the older man’s face with lines across his forehead. Clifford’s hand was clasped with Constance’s as he discussed an upcoming trip to Paris.
The more Andrew listened, he understood Juliana’s stepmother had some kind of heart ailment, and the doctors couldn’t find a cure. This woman would die if they couldn’t find a doctor to help her.
He swung his attention back to Juliana. Although she hadn’t spoken of her stepmother in a high regard, Andrew could see the news hadn’t set well with his so-called wife. Juliana thinned her lips as she rested her gaze on the half-eaten plate of food in front of her. He knew her well enough to know she had a sorrowful heart, but was probably trying to fight the denial inside of her.
As the conversation progressed, Andrew received the impression Juliana did indeed know about her stepmother’s illness. It could very well be possible she worried about Constance’s health. Juliana may get upset at him later, but he was going to pry.
Andrew returned his attention to Constance and nodded. “Juliana had mentioned how ill you have been of late. She’s been most concerned about your health.”
All eyes rested on him, now wide with uncertainty. Constance’s brow furrowed. “Indeed? Juliana was concerned?”
He met Juliana’s stare and reached next to him to squeeze her clutched hands resting in her lap. He switched his attention back to Constance. “Very much so. I continue to assure her everything will be all right when you and Clifford sail to Paris to seek the doctor who can help.”
Across from him, Madeline gasped and dropped her fork to her plate. He surveyed the others again, who still stared at him with wide eyes as if in shock.
Constance looked at Juliana and blinked slowly. “You...you were worried about me?”
Juliana dug her nails into Andrew’s palm, but he pretended not to notice. He’d get an earful when they were alone. But he looked forward to seeing fire dance in her eyes again, which would only challenge him further.
Juliana gave her stepmother a smile. “Well, of course. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”
His darling wife was a good actress—but this he knew. Time to see how far she would take it.
He turned to Constance and patted her hand. “Juli
ana was so worried that some nights she would lay in my arms until she wept all of her tears.”
Liquid gathered in the older woman’s eyes as she stared at Juliana. “You...cried for me?”
Juliana shifted in her chair and rested her hand on Andrew’s thigh. He gritted his teeth. It looked as if she found a different source to dig her nails into.
She nodded. “But of course. I don’t think I could bear having another mother taken from me,” she answered softly.
As soon as the words came out, her claws retracted. She sucked in a quick breath, and blinked slowly. Confusion crossed her brow, and she switched her attention to Andrew. If he wasn’t mistaken, she looked shocked at what she’d just said. Could the truth about her feelings have been hidden deep in her heart all this time?
“Ohhhh!” Constance sobbed in her hands.
Clifford had tears building in his eyes also. He wrapped his arms around his wife while she cried on his shoulder. He gave Juliana a smile. “Sweetheart, Constance will be all right. We have heard many good things about this physician in Paris. We are confident he can find a cure when we visit him soon.”
Constance pulled away and shook her head. “But we cannot go see him now, Clifford. We can’t possibly leave Madeline here by herself. It’s just not done.”
Maddie pouted, folded her arms, and glared at her parents. “I’m old enough to stay by myself.”
“No, dear.” Clifford narrowed his gaze at his daughter. “We have been through this before, and we are not relenting.”
“What’s wrong with Juliana and myself?” Andrew heard himself saying. Where did that come from? But the truth was, he wasn’t looking forward to going back to Scotland and being a stable hand once again. He enjoyed living like a well-bred gentleman—enjoyed it almost too much.
Juliana swung her head to look at him. Ah-ha, there’s the fire in her eyes.
“What?” Clifford asked.
Andrew shrugged. “Why can’t Juliana and I keep an eye on Madeline while you’re gone?”
He sneaked a peek in Maddie’s direction. The girl’s expression had changed dramatically. Pink darkened her cheeks, and her eyes gleamed with stars.
True Love's Deception (book 3) (The Fielding Brothers Saga) Page 6
