“And because that meant the Steeles were invited, too,” a man said, laughter clear in his voice.
“Don’t get too used to it unless you plan to start contributing a dish, Reid.”
“I’ll have you know that I cook a mean rack of ribs.”
“I won’t even attempt to introduce the woman who is about to sing for you because she doesn’t need any introduction.” Randi swept aside the curtain and although the small stage was lit only with a warm glow, Joss felt as if she was under a fifteen-hundred-watt spotlight. She tried to smile, but her lips weren’t especially cooperative. People were gathered around barn wood tables softly lit with the rustic silver pendants hanging above. An old Lance crackers sign seemed to be shouting encouragement with its Just right… right now! message.
“Hey, everyone,” she said in a froggy voice, and then cleared the apprehension out of her throat. “Randi was nice enough to offer me her stage tonight. But this isn’t a performance, not really. I’d like to think it’s more of a conversation. Maybe a bit of a confession. Definitely a promise.”
Shep not only wouldn’t meet Joss’s gaze, but he was deliberately looking away from her, staring at a side wall. His arms crossed and mouth tight. Something sharp twisted in her chest.
Had he changed his mind about her? Had he returned to his regular life and decided she didn’t deserve a spot in it? Did he blame her for everything that happened, especially…
Where was Puck? Joss didn’t see him in the room.
She glanced back at Shep’s face. His expression was flat. Did that mean something had happened to Puck or that he was unhappy to see her?
The impulse to jump off the stool and bolt out the back door rushed through her. She could leave, catch a plane in Charlotte, and be back in LA by—
No. This isn’t about getting applause or approval. It’s about giving love.
“Shep,” she said quietly, but he still didn’t turn her way. A muscle in his cheek twitched, which could be a good sign or a bad one. “This is for you. It’s called ‘Lost in This World.’”
Her fingers took over, lovingly strumming the chords that had flowed from her heart, had kept her company while she was so far away from him.
They light me up
If they all adore me
They all lift up one voice
Love my bitter choice
I’m lost in this world
I own the stage
Dead eyes and leather black
I go home all alone
My life’s only for show
I’m lost in this world
Wanting someone out there to belong to me and truly understand
What drove my heart to beat and left a mark on me, a burning brand
In a sea of smooth, I’m a jagged edge…
I’m lost in this world
I’m lost in this world
She played a simple break, picking out the melody, and modulated down a full step. When she sang again, her voice was darker, huskier.
I only speak
With mountains and maples
No one with me
It should make me feel free
But I’m lost in this world
A broken man
Inside I’m the biggest lie
Wanting love, then and now
Can it ever be found?
It’s lost in this world
Wanting someone out there to belong to me and truly understand
What drove my heart to beat and left a mark on me, a burning brand
In a sea of smooth, I’m a jagged edge…
I’m lost in this world
I’m lost in this world
* * *
Eyes like a storm
Seeking and holding on to mine
Promise me a haven
When I’ve never had one
I’m lost in your world
* * *
Smile like the sun
With the passion to warm me
I offer everything
New songs to live and sing
We’re lost in our world
We’re lost in our world
When the last note faded away and hovered in the air, Shep stood. Hope bloomed inside Joss. He would walk to her and—
But no, he turned his back on her and faced his extended family. “I would like all of you to go now.”
“Dude, we haven’t even eaten yet,” one of his cousins protested.
“Take everything and leave.”
There was some grumbling, but everyone complied, piling their arms high with food. One of the men, wearing what Joss recognized as high-end jeans and a custom-made dress shirt, was holding an adorable little girl, probably a little over a year old, dressed in pink overalls. He kissed the baby’s head and pointed toward the door. “Let’s take this party down to the Murchison Building. It’s close enough that we won’t have to suffer through Reid’s whining for long before he can stuff his face.”
While they all filed out of the restaurant, Shep kept his back to Joss. Randi, the last one out, said, “Just let me know when you’re finished here, and I’ll come back and lock up.”
When the door was closed behind her, Shep still didn’t move except for the clench and release of his hands. He wasn’t happy. Joss had put him on the spot in front of his family.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I thought this would be okay, but I know you aren’t much for crowds and—”
“Why are you here?”
Sooty-colored anger that Joss knew was a self-defense mechanism tried to roll its way through her system. But she took a breath and mentally waved it away. “If you want the answer to that, you have to face me. I won’t talk to your back. You’re shutting me out.”
“You shut me out first.” He turned, and there was anguish in his face. Pure misery. Complete heartbreak.
Somehow, he truly believed what he was saying. How was that possible? Her first instinct was to go to him and wrap him in her arms, but she made herself stay seated. He wasn’t ready for her to touch him, that was clear. “I only left for a week,” she said. “I texted. Called. Left messages that you never returned. You knew I was coming back.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“But I left a note and—”
“I threw it away.”
Joss blinked. That he would do such a thing had never occurred to her. And it probably should have. “Why?”
“Because letters from lovers are bad.”
“That isn’t logical…” No, if Shep was this convinced, there had to be some logic behind his stubborn insistence. “This has something to do with Amber, doesn’t it?”
His mouth was an unforgiving line. “You said you weren’t like her and then you left—”
“I’m not like her, but how could I know you wouldn’t read what I wrote?”
“When Amber left me, she wrote a note on a kitchen napkin, telling me she was filing for divorce.”
Shep’s lack of responsiveness made more sense now.
She said, “One of the things that you helped me see is that I don’t need everyone to think the world of me. But you didn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt, Shep.”
“You told me you loved me and then you left without waking me. People who love each other don’t do that. It’s rude.”
“I thought I was protecting you, but if I’m being honest, I was also protecting myself a little,” she said quietly. “A couple of tabloids showed up that morning. I told myself I was leading them away from you, and I was. But I needed to go back to California to clean up loose ends. I’ve had too many things gaping wide open. It was painful, and the last thing I want is to start my new life full of pain.”
For the first time, his rigid face relaxed. Just a little, but it was something. “What new life?”
“I want to get back to the music. Real music with a soul and essence people can connect to. I want to write and perform for real people. People I can look in the face when I play and sing for them. I wa
nt to touch them.”
“That’s not a good way to be a rock star.”
“And that’s exactly the point,” she said and finally slid off the stool and to her feet. She placed Fiona in her case and stepped off the stage. “I’m done being Joss Wynter of Scarlet Glitterati. My name is Jocelyn Winterburn, and I’m just a woman who writes songs and plays them on my guitar.”
“That sounds like Jojo.” The painful feeling in her chest receded and her heart took up all the space. If it expanded any more, it would simply explode. Pop! Her feelings splattering all over the wall.
“It does, doesn’t it?” She laughed and edged closer to him. His scent—all woodsmoke and pine forest—swept over her, making her tummy tight and her knees loose. “I’m sorry you thought I wasn’t coming back. Obviously, just because two people care about one another, love each other, doesn’t mean the communication is always going to be smooth. It’s something I’m willing to work on if you are.”
Ah, that seemed to do it. Shep’s broad shoulders finally dropped from their resting spot close to his ears. Joss pressed against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Home. Real. Love.
His heart was a steady thud under her ear. A sound she planned to listen to and cherish every day from here on out. “I love you so much it hurts, Shep Kingston.”
“Before you, I did not think love was supposed to hurt. Then Maggie explained that sometimes it hurts because we care so much.”
She laughed and pressed a kiss to the spot over his heart. “She’s right. Love is complicated. It’s not always nice and easy. Sometimes it’s turbulent and troubled.”
“I do not like that.”
“Two people who weather bad times grow to love each other even more. Those not-so-great times make love stronger.”
“Do you really believe that?”
She looked up at him, saw the uncertainty and worry in his eyes. “I really do. There is no smooth sailing in this life. Which means the rough seas have to mean something.”
“Rough seas like Puck being shot?”
Shep’s words robbed Joss of breath and evoked the memory of the beautiful dog, in pain and fading away right before them. Of their desperate dash to get him help. Of Dan Cargill injecting him with Propofol. Her gaze darted around the room until it landed on something under the table where Shep had been sitting. What she saw there filled her with joy. With love.
She smoothed her hand up Shep’s cheek and looked into his beautiful eyes. “If you’re in the boat, I’ll brave the rough seas of love for the rest of my life. But there will be plenty of joy, Shep. I promise you that. In fact, I brought you a bundle if it tonight. Will you let me give it to you?”
“What is it?”
Joss unwound her arms and retrieved the basket from the stage. Setting it on the floor, she told Shep, “Open it and see.”
He squatted, his knees bracketing the basket, and flipped back the lid. Inside, was a perfect ball of black fur. The puppy was blissfully asleep on a blanket printed with bones and balls. “For me?”
“Yes,” she said, “and no. I was approved to be a puppy raiser for the organization that gave you Puck.”
“They gave you a puppy that quickly?”
“I promised to set up special social media accounts, and the donation I made probably didn’t hurt. But when I told them I was involved with Shep Kingston, that pretty much swayed them.”
“What’s his name?”
“Her. She’s Charley.”
Inside the basket, the puppy stretched and opened her pretty brown eyes. Her yawn was all curled tongue and high-pitched groan. And from his perch on a dog bed beneath Shep’s table, Puck raised his head, ears up and alert. He stared at the basket.
But Shep’s face, it was the clincher. His smile was huge. He was already in love. A goner.
“You realize we will have to give her up, right?” she said. “We have to turn her in when it’s time.”
Shep picked up the puppy and tucked her next to Puck. Charley snuggled against the older dog’s body. Puck sniffed the pup and nudged her with his nose. Then he looked up with what Joss would swear was protective pride.
“I know,” Shep said, “We have to give her back so someone else gets a companion as loyal and brave as Puck.”
“Yes,” she said. “Because I want those people to be as happy as you.”
Shep took her by the waist and lifted her until they were eye to eye. “No one can ever be as happy as me,” he said. “Because not only do I have Puck and Charley, I have Jojo, too.”
She wrapped her legs around him and held on tight. When Shep pressed his lips to hers, it was all the applause Joss needed.
Discover More Steele Ridge
STEELE RIDGE: THE KINGSTONS
Craving HEAT, Book 1
Tasting FIRE, Book 2
Searing NEED, Book 3
Striking EDGE, Book 4
Burning ACHE, Book 5 (Fall 2019)
STEELE RIDGE: THE STEELES
The BEGINNING, A Novella, Book 1
Going HARD, Book 2
Living FAST, Book 3
Loving DEEP, Book 4
Breaking FREE, Book 5
Roaming WILD, Book 6
Stripping BARE, Book 7
Enduring LOVE, A Novella, Book 8
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Also by Kelsey Browning
PROPHECY OF LOVE SERIES
Sexy contemporary romance
Stay With Me
Hard to Love
* * *
TEXAS NIGHTS SERIES
Sexy contemporary romance
Personal Assets
Running the Red Light
Problems in Paradise
Designed for Love
* * *
BY INVITATION ONLY SERIES
Sexy contemporary romance
Amazed by You
* * *
G TEAM SERIES w/NANCY NAIGLE
Southern cozy mysteries
In For a Penny
Fit to Be Tied
In High Cotton
Under the Gun
Gimme Some Sugar
* * *
JENNY & TEAGUE NOVELLAS
Contemporary romance
Always on My Mind
Come a Little Closer
* * *
STEELE RIDGE SERIES
Romantic suspense collaboration with Tracey Devlyn & Adrienne Giordano
The BEGINNING
Going HARD
Living FAST
Loving DEEP
Breaking FREE
Roaming WILD
Stripping BARE
Enduring LOVE
* * *
STEELE RIDGE: THE KINGSTONS
Craving HEAT
Tasting FIRE
Searing NEED
Striking EDGE
Burning ACHE (Coming 2019)
Acknowledgments
It seems as if I thank many of the same people in the acknowledgments of each book. That’s because I couldn’t do my job without their support, encouragement, and love.
To Tech Guy and Smarty Boy (who may need a new nickname soon, seeing as he’s nineteen!): In 2018, we weathered a tough year together. I’m proud of you both and proud of the family we all work so hard to keep together.
A big squishy panda hug to Adrienne Giordano and Tracey Devlyn. Steele Ridge has tried to kick our asses a few times, but we always find a path to peace. Thank you for putting up with me even though I don’t always say the right things.
Sometimes, when I think of Heather Machel and Donna Duffee and what I’d do without their help and support, true tears of pain come to my eyes. Not to be too graphic, but I feel a bit like Gollum when it comes to you two.
Without our editors, the entire Ste
ele Ridge series wouldn’t be the story powerhouse it is. Thank you to Gina Bernal and Martha Trachtenberg for helping us write quality books. Also, Martha is in no way responsible for any musical faux pas I may have made in Shep’s story.
A heartfelt hug of gratitude to Toby Walker and his best girl and therapy dog, Charley. Thank you for making the world a brighter place through your service to others and for allowing me to bring Charley’s namesake into the Steele Ridge world.
And my lovely Sass Kicker fan group, you are simply the best. Always patiently waiting for the next book and encouraging me to write well instead of quickly. Thank you.
This book would not have been possible without some other very special folks.
To Randy Manuel of Solo Southeast in Bryson City, North Carolina, I can’t even begin to repay you for your generous knowledge of the NC wilderness. I promise I still plan to come up for you to teach me important things. Just as soon as it’s warm again in the southeast.
Big thanks to Reva Benefiel for being my musical sounding board when it came to Joss’s character. And for helping with those damn lyrics. A girl thinks songwriting will be easy just because she can write a novel. I was delusional.
To Dr. Jennifer Peterson at Firehall 4 Animal Hospital here in Athens, thank you for not freaking out when I told you what I planned to do to Puck. Your help with some of the not-so-nice parts of this story was invaluable. (And I promise not to forward any reader hate mail to you—LOL.)
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