by Imogene Nix
He didn’t know if there could ever be some kind of fix that would make this better. How could it? She’d just come face-to-face with her sister who thought she was dead.
Instead of waiting and hoping she’d turn to him, he shrugged, hoping to rein in the shattering of his heart. “Sure. I’ll go for a walk.”
He felt like an old man, broken and battered, as he let himself out of the room. The woman he loved didn’t need him. She’d turned away, and that gutted him.
Chapter 10
Brooding wouldn’t help, but her sense of disquiet grew. Where was Sandon? His prolonged absence didn’t make sense. Levia had needed time to deal with the revelation that she’d come face-to-face with her half-sister, but now she needed him. His presence centered her.
She’d had to escape before Elda realized who she was and showed horror. She also had to work out how to explain to Sandon that it wasn’t him she was denying, but herself. The pain on his face, when he’d left, was seared into her brain.
Levia was sure he didn’t realize she knew how she’d wounded him. But after the revelations of her father and seeing Elda… “How can I trust myself not to hurt him?”
Rocking on the floor, the truths pounded into her brain. She trusted him on every level. Without question.
Once again, Levia gazed at the door, hopeful he’d enter through it while she watched. “Where are you, Sandon?”
She rose and paced the floor. Step, step, step, turn and repeat. The rhythm in her head beat its own time.
When the thudding came at the door, she hurried over, sure it was Sandon, but when she flung it open, it wasn’t. Yet another shock rattled her.
Standing on the other side of the door was someone she hadn’t seen in many long, lonely years.
“My daughter, Elda, said you looked like my oldest girl.” The woman was gray-haired and so much older! Withered, as if grief had stolen the vital ingredient of her soul. “She was taken from me…” Her mother shook like a leaf, and Levia wanted to enfold her in her arms.
Where was Sandon? She needed him now. “I…”
From the corner of her eye, she saw Sandon making his way in her direction. Indecision warred, my mother is here, so close, but Levia needed him.
If Sandon looked at her, would he see her? He wasn’t looking in her direction right now, instead, he’d stopped, hands clenched and eyes closed. Would he leave again? A split second of indecision could cost her a lifetime she’d never regain, her mind told her. She needed to tell him that he was important to her, and she wanted him to share this journey with her.
“I need a minute. Please, stay.” She brushed past her mother, sure her mother still wasn’t aware of who she was, and hurried down the hall, just as Sandon caught sight of her. He looked like he was about to bolt again. The stiffness in his shoulders and the tension on his face clawed at her. “Wait! Sandon, please, don’t go!”
She could read the pain in his soulful brown eyes.
“You have a visitor.” His voice sounded dull, and she knew he’d been about to leave.
“Don’t leave me again, Sandon.” Her voice shook under the onslaught of her roaring emotions. She stretched out a hand, and noticed that it shook. “Please, come with me. Meet her. It’s… She’s my mother.” Even as he shook his head, she grasped his hand. “Please. I want to share this with you.”
“You don’t need me. You’re strong and capable. You go, I’ll wait.”
His words stopped her dead. “What do you mean? Sandon?”
“Look, I’m just in your way. It’s taken me a while to work it out, but you don’t need me—”
“Not need you?” Understanding flooded and warmth filtered through her, driving away the chill she hadn’t even recognized.
“But I do, Sandon. I need you by my side. You’re… You’re the other half I didn’t know I was looking for. I—” God, she was nearly hyperventilating! Her brain frying under the onslaught of emotions, and no matter how hard she tried to deny them, they had grown into love. “Damn it, Sandon, I love you. I’ve learned from all the stupid things I’ve ever done in my life that sometimes you have to take a chance. I’ll take any chance to be with you, because I don’t want to lose you. I didn’t understand how I hurt you when I turned away at first. It wasn’t because I didn’t want you, it was because I was scared.”
He tugged back, as if trying to release himself from her grip. “What?” His gaze burned through her, seeking the truth. “Don’t play with me.”
“I’m not. See? I don’t even know how to tell you I love you. I’m so fucked up that I can’t even get that right.” She locked her muscles, sure he was about to leave her, while she tried to make up for her foolish self-absorption. “Let me say this once, in a clear and concise manner. I. Love. You.”
“You mean it?” He continued to gaze at her and she reached out, her hand shaking as she cupped his cheek.
“Yeah, I mean it. For whatever good it’s going to do you. You’re really my other half. Without you, I’m… I’m incomplete.”
He sealed her words with a kiss.
* * * *
Watching Levia heading back up the hall, where the woman stood, Sandon was struck at how similar they looked. Once Levia had spoken the words, she’s my mother, there was no doubt.
“Would you like to come in?” Levia’s words may have wobbled a little, but the spine he’d admired in her was slowly creeping back. For the first time, he noted she’d also replaced her makeup, covering the glowing green. She called it her mask of humanity, and he frowned at the thought.
“I shouldn’t have come really. I mean…” The woman, Levia’s mother, shook her head and clearly felt uncomfortable.
“It’s not a problem. Please, come in and join us.” Sandon held the door open.
At the end of the bed, Levia stopped and for a moment Sandon glimpsed the girl she’d been, before the enhancements, before the war impinged, and it entranced him.
They ushered her mother in the room, and Sandon set about making the woman a cool drink while Levia fussed with the collar of her suit.
“I’m so sorry. I really shouldn’t have interrupted you, but when Elda, my daughter, said she’d seen someone who reminded her of my oldest daughter... I had to come find out more.”
Levia smiled, the corners of her lips lifting in a wobbling uptick. “Well, I guess that makes sense.”
“So tell me. Do you have family nearby? Maybe we are distantly related. My daughter, Levia, would have been about your age. She died in an accident on her way back from testing.”
“About that, see… The funeral…”
“Oh, the accident was bad. They didn’t let us view the body, just the casket.” Levia’s mother dabbed at her eyes, wiping away the mist of tears.
Sandon realized with a start that this was the same song and dance used to hide the truth of Levia’s father’s death too.
“But how did they know it was your daughter?” Levia rubbed the knee of her bodysuit, and even though he wanted to roll his eyes and push them on to a reconciliation, he didn’t. It wasn’t his place to push them closer, to start the conversation. So he sat back, his own cold drink in hand and sipped.
“The state took care of it all. They said there was a duty of care, and as she’d been… Well, they arranged for the checking of her credentials. It was terrible though, as I’d already lost her father in a similar accident.”
“Your daughter would have been twenty-seven, wouldn’t she?” Levia used hushed tones, and her mother nodded.
“Uh, Levia?”
Her mother’s head snapped up. “You’re named Levia too?”
Levia shot him a look filled with an angry emotion, but he shrugged. He was prepared to wait, but it didn’t help to fill in some of the gaps early on.
“Yes. But you see, when Levia died, there was a lot more to the story. Do you know anything about the BioCybe program?” Levia leaned in. “When the testing takes place, they stream the students into the pathways most s
uitable to the person’s skillset.”
The nod of understanding this time was slower, as if her mother was unsure or concerned of what would come next. “Uh, yes. But what does this have to do with the BioCybe project? I don’t know anyone involved… Oh no! She was killed by a BioCybe?” Levia’s mother clasped a shaking hand to her mouth.
“No! Levia became a BioCybe.”
He held his breath and waited as her mother’s eyes rounded like saucers. “No! My daughter is dead. How can you say something like that? What kind of an unfeeling creature are you?” She pushed out of her chair and stumbled in the direction of the door.
“Wait, Levia’s telling the truth. Look at her face, and tell me you don’t see your own daughter.”
A gray-green tinge settled on her ashen face. “No. Levia’s dead.” The wisps of gray hair floated around her face as her body shook. “She’s dead.”
Sandon could see that she was clinging to that information like a raft in wild seas. Her life was being turned upside down and anything, even the worst knowledge of the death of her child, claimed the status of normalcy right now. The pressure surrounding his heart like a tight band squeezed.
Levia sucked in an unsteady breath, her body tensing before his gaze.
“Levia’s not dead. She didn’t die that day or on any since then. She was taken into the BioCybe program. This is Levia standing right here.” He pointed to Levia, who watched him, her face pinched and white. Again, the band squeezed a little harder, but he plowed on, understanding that until the words were said, she’d skirt around the truth. And the truth needed to be aired. “This is your daughter.”
“No.” Levia’s mother paced. “It’s not true. They told me…”
“They lied, Mama. After the testing, I was sent to Kefla and they…” She gulped and the sound together with the incoherent moans battered at him. His senses were wound so tight, he was sure they’d explode.
Action. He had to do something to cut through the tension practically strangling him.
“It’s true. We have the records. Let me show you.” He reached for the woman and steadied her as they made their way toward the desktop computer system. It hummed and he opened the file, showing the photos of Levia on the day of her testing, then after each enhancement. Her mother quivered.
“Why? Why did they do this?”
No one answered her question. There wasn’t one to be had.
* * * *
Lying on her back after another energetic session of lovemaking, Levia’s mind swirled, thinking about what was to come. She’d need to use her neural net tomorrow, download the updates and maybe even some of the information she’d gleaned into her personal communications system. And after this brief time away, how would Sandon react?
The blur of thoughts confused her, so instead Levia welcomed his presence.
“So what do we do next?” The sound of his voice washed over her.
She blinked, then turned just enough to see the profile of his face haloed by moonlight. “We need to get back to the Echo. If he comes…”
“I wasn’t thinking that, just yet. I meant us. Your family and this whole mess.”
She drew back. “We’re a mess?” She giggled.
He groaned and twined his fingers around hers. “You’re deliberately misunderstanding me. I meant the mess created by the government. The minute your mother starts telling anyone that you are still alive…” Sandon shrugged, but she knew exactly what he meant.
“She’s terrible at keeping secrets, Sandon. She won’t be able to help herself.” Levia sighed. “I was released from duty, and our current mission is an…an aberration. They won’t give a care what happens to me after my tour.”
She’d done her duty to the commonwealth, but it was a nameless, faceless, and emotionless entity. They used whatever resources were available to them during the war, but when it was over, her usefulness had come to an end.
“So?” His quietly spoken word startled her.
“What do you want to do? I mean, I don’t really…” Levia stopped speaking as Sandon stretched a hand toward her and touched her lips.
“I want to be with you. I want to build a life with you on the Golden Echo.”
“Ohhh…” Shock ricocheted. Since enhancement, she’d never considered where her future would lead. Finding love seemed something that was little more than a strangled dream, lying in ashes. Forever? She’d denied herself any thoughts of that kind of future. “I…” Could she accept what he offered? A new kind of hunger filled her, piercing the darkness that had invaded her soul so long ago. “I want that more than anything.” It was true, now she wanted to reach out and snatch it away from the fates that would deny her everything.
“Good. When this is done then. You’ll stay with me.”
“Yes.”
The silence changed. Deepened. “How are we going to hunt down Ordan Mayerber?’
Levia worried her lips with her teeth, aware that this very question had been gnawing at her consciousness all night. “It won’t be we. It’ll be me.”
He moved, a jerk and a twist. “You aren’t facing him alone.”
Anger shot through her. “Don’t you think—”
“It’s got nothing to do with whether or not I think you’re capable. You’re the woman I love. I will protect you.”
The anger melted. How could she possibly hold onto it in the light of his words? The emotional response left her weak. Squeezing her eyes shut, she concentrated on what she had to say. “But you can’t protect me. I’m not even sure I can protect you. The only thing I know for certain is I won’t risk you, Sandon. You’re too important to me.”
“Ditto.”
“What?” She glanced in his direction, not sure what he was trying to say.
“Ditto. You’re too important to me to just let you head off to fight an assassin who will likely…” He ran a shaking hand through his hair. “I will be there. Anything you tell me to do, I’ll do. But you won’t be alone.”
“Oh, Sandon.” How could she tell him that her concentration would be split? That she’d be so busy hoping to protect him, that Ordan might get the jump on her? “Please, don’t ask this of me.”
He hissed and she slumped against the sheets.
“I’m a man, Levia. It’s what we do. Protect the women who mean everything to us.”
“Do I tell you how to run your business?” This whole argument was more than wearisome, but it had to be dealt with now. Otherwise, when the time came…
“You’ve been known to make strong suggestions.”
“Sandon…” She used her best wheedling tone, but it didn’t work.
“No. Levia it’s everything or nothing. I can’t do half-measures where you’re concerned.”
She knew he meant it, so she exhaled heavily and nodded. “Okay then, but on one condition.”
He didn’t speak, but he touched her hand.
“You do everything I tell you. Hide when I say. And if I tell you to get out of there, you go.”
Seconds ticked past, and her heart beat unsteadily in her chest. “Okay.”
Chapter 11
Levia glanced up into the sky, taking in the purplish black of the clouds. “Weather’s starting to close in.” The wind whistled across the nearly empty landscape.
“It’s a bad day for shuttle travel.” The grizzle-faced officer in charge of the station grunted.
It was good that Sandon was already aboard the Golden Echo. She’d flown him back before heading planet-ward, in time to oversee the refueling and loading of the food stores they’d ordered.
“Yeah, I suppose I should get going.” She turned to the aging craft Sandon had lovingly named Baby Bird for the two B’s at the end of its call sign.
“You got a good little machine there, but…” The man’s words died away.
Levia knew exactly what he wasn’t saying. Even the best ships can’t beat nature sometimes.
“Okay, step back while I climb in.” But before she cou
ld do anything, he thrust out a hand.
“I know about the Cybes. You weren’t more’n a child when you were sent up there. But you protected us. Those of us who know… We appreciate what you did.”
A hard lump formed in her belly. Others knew about the Cybes. They thanked them? She wasn’t so sure about that, but… “I, um… Thank you.” She suddenly felt fiercely pleased that someone else understood, for whatever reason, that they were just people doing a job they never wanted.
The man stepped back as she climbed aboard, her hands tugging on the straps that would secure her for the short trip up to the Echo.
“Golden Echo? This is Baby Bird. I’m on my way home.”
“Baby Bird, this is the Echo. I hear rough skies are ahead of you. Is it wise?”
She laughed, hearing Vestang’s careful query.
“Yeah. I should be home soon. Tell Sandon to have a hot coffee ready for me.”
She engaged the engines and opened a link to air traffic control. “Air traffic control, this is the GE-Five-Zero-Nine BB. I’m uploading my flight plan now.”
“Acknowledged, GE-Five-Zero-Nine BB. We have your plan and are uploading it now.”
Seconds ticked by as she checked the instrumentation and waited, her fingers drumming on the plastic-type consol.
“GE-Five-Zero-Nine BB, be aware, storms are brewing in your flight path, acknowledge that you have read and understood them.”
“Yes. Acknowledged.” Sure she’d read them and a sense of disquiet did run through her, but home and the Echo waited. As did Sandon, and the tiny little dog, Missy, she’d adopted during their time on Cordero.
“Good luck then, GE-Five-Zero-Nine BB. Air traffic control out.”
She grinned and gunned the engine, the vibrations rippling over her body. The ship lifted in the vertical ascension that she preferred.
The first arc of lightning drew her attention. She could almost hear the fizzle and bang as it made contact with the land, while the roiling clouds, larger and more ominous, loomed ahead of her.
When the ship shuddered, she knew what had happened. A flash of light appeared on the wing and was joined by a large boom. For a moment there was only silence, then the wails of the computer blared, and the controls became slack and unresponsive.
