I’m totally sober right now, and it’s taking everything I have not to walk right up to him and jump his bones right here, right now, in broad daylight in the kitchen.
I’m such a hot mess.
I debate taking a few steps back and hightailing it back to the safety of my room, where I can be trusted not to make shitty decisions, when he turns around and spots me.
His eyes lock with mine right before they widen.
“How long have you been standing there?”
I swallow hard, trying to figure out the right thing to say here.
Finally, I go with the truth.
“Longer than I should have. I was honestly just about to run back to my room and hide.”
He reaches up and runs one of his big hands through his hair before sighing.
“Yeah. I get that.”
My stomach drops.
Ok, so I know that I am totally regretting what happened between us last night, but it is not a good feeling knowing that he regrets it too.
Why does he regret it? He’s a guy, right? And a professional athlete at that. Random hook-ups are totally his thing.
The fact that he regrets hooking up with me is one blow that I wasn’t prepared for.
“Isabelle, about last night…” he starts, but I immediately wave him off.
“No.” I shake my head. “Listen, last night was a mistake. I’d prefer if we could just pretend that it didn’t happen and move on.”
His eyes widen.
“Wait, what?”
“It was a drunken mistake. I had too much champagne and…”
“I wasn’t drunk,” he growls, before running his hand through his hair again.
“Well, I was. And to be perfectly honest, I was in desperate need of that. So, thank you.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” He leans back against the counter, and as he does, his entire body ripples.
I blink, as my eyes focus in on his sculpted abs, every single muscle perfectly displayed on his gorgeous body.
He’s so fucking hot.
I’d like nothing more than to lick him like a lollipop…
No!
Bad thoughts. There will be no future licking of Ryan James!
Once was enough, even though I didn’t even get to put my mouth on a fraction of the places that I desperately want to.
But, he is also my boss. And the last thing that I need is to screw this job up over getting laid.
I’m way better than that.
“I’m absolutely serious. I’d like to just chalk it up to two people needing some quick relief. I know that I personally haven’t, you know, since my divorce. I’m sure that isn’t the case for you, but either way. It was a one time need that has now been fulfilled. I for one, would be happy if we never spoke of it again.”
I would also be happy if I knew that my vagina would snap back into place. Unfortunately, I see a lot of Kegels in my near future.
“You just used me to get laid?”
“Well, kind of.” I shrug. I wonder if I am coming off as nonchalantly as I am trying.
Of course, I didn’t just use the guy to get laid. What happened last night was hands down, the best sex that I have ever had. Even though it was wrong, there’s no way that I will be forgetting how good he made me feel anytime soon.
I only need to convince him that it meant nothing to me.
The only thing worse than seeing the regret in his eyes right now, would be having to see it again.
And I’m not about to be the casual, nothing else to do kind of hook up girl.
No fucking way.
“Unfuckingbelievable.” He grabs a box off of the counter and shoving it my way.
“Listen, so, I was so caught up in things last night, that I didn’t wear a rubber. You should take this.”
I glance at the box in confusion.
“It’s Plan B. You know, for when Plan A fails? I had my agent grab some and bring it by this morning.”
“I already told you, I’m…”
“Humor me, please. It won’t harm you, it just, you know. Stops the sperm from attacking your eggs.”
“You don’t trust me.” I blink, as my eyes focus on him.
“Do you think that I’m lying about birth control? Ryan, I can’t…”
I can’t even believe that the words almost slipped out of my mouth.
Was I really about to tell him that I can’t get pregnant anyhow?
If anything, I’m more concerned with STD’s than pregnancy.
I mean, I’ve seen the kind of women that he attracts.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Isabelle, it’s just, I have to be careful. A guy in my position…”
I tear open the box and grab the pill out of the foil. I pop it into my mouth before swallowing.
“No worries, Ryan.” I glare at him. “I took the damn pill. And for your information, getting pregnant by you was not on my agenda.”
“Isabelle.”
I hold up a hand before shaking my head.
“Like I said earlier, let’s just not speak of it again, ok? I would personally like to forget that it happened.”
He snorts, before staring at me hard. I completely ignore him and manage to pull myself together enough to walk towards the coffee pot.
My hand shakes as I pour my mug, but I manage to hold myself together long enough to walk past him before making a beeline back to the safety of my bedroom.
Great fucking job, Isabelle.
Way to really screw things up.
I’m sitting in the stands later on that same day, watching the game unfold in front of me. I feel a bit awkward, surrounded by Ryan’s family, since like, twelve hours ago, the man was inside of my body.
But, I try like hell to push those thoughts out of my mind and focus on the task at hand.
Isaac.
After he got dropped off this morning, we did just a little bit of schoolwork before it was time to get ready to come to the field.
It was uncomfortable, since Ryan kept circling us and staring at me hard.
I seriously don’t know what the guy is looking for out of me, since he looked just as regretful this morning as I was.
I’m chalking it up to the fact that he’s probably not used to someone else cutting to the chase and cutting things off.
Maybe it was a first for him, I don’t know.
But I do know that it was definitely my last.
“Your daddy is up to bat next.” I nod at Isaac, who is standing off to the side with Jacks. His face instantly lights up, and he hustles back to my seat, before climbing onto my lap.
“My dad’s going to hit it out of the park,” he tells me with a smile. “Just watch, Isabelle. He promised that he’d try to hit a homerun today.”
I grimace, since in my book, he already hit a home run…inside of my body, late last night.
Crap.
I shove those thoughts aside, since remembering what happened last night will not do me any good.
“Well, when your daddy says he’s going to do something, he does it.” Ryan’s mom, Rita says, before reaching out and squeezing Isaac’s arm.
This is true.
Ryan did say that he was going to fuck me hard. Mission accomplished.
Why does my mind keep traveling back to that?
I force those thoughts out of my mind before focusing on Ryan as he steps up to the plate. He glances in our direction, before winking, probably at Isaac, and turning back to face the pitcher.
“You know, it never goes away,” Rita mutters, and since I’m not sure who she’s speaking to, I inquire.
“What do you mean?”
“The feeling. The sick to my stomach feeling, every time he steps up to the plate.”
“Oh.”
The pitch is thrown, and Ryan swings hard, but misses.
Strike one.
“When he was a little boy, he used to get such bad anxiety when it was his turn to bat. His whole first season of l
ittle league, he never swung the bat. Not even once.”
I blink. “Really? What did he do then?”
She chuckles. “He would just stand there, in the box. Sometimes he’d luck out and get walked. Most of the times, he struck out. But every single game, I was there, standing behind him, cheering him on and giving him a pep talk. Some people just need to have someone on their side.”
Another pitch is thrown, but Ryan doesn’t swing. It’s called a ball.
“It’s nice to have someone on your side. It sounds like Ryan is lucky that you were able to be that person when he was growing up.”
“Yeah. I was.” She nods. “But he really needs someone now, too.”
I swallow hard. I’m not quite sure where she is getting at with this, but when she glances at me out of the corner of her eye, I know exactly what she means.
Ryan connects with the next pitch, sending it sailing out into left field. It doesn’t go over the fence, but it goes over the left fielder’s head. He moves quickly around the bases, before sliding into second base with just a moment to spare before the ball is thrown.
“Bummer.” Isaac hops off my lap. “Let me know when he’s up to bat again, Isabelle. I’m going to go and play with Jacks.”
“Ok.” I smile at Isaac as he hurries back to his friend.
“He seems smitten with you.” Rita smiles at me, and I can’t help it. I smile over to Isaac before looking back at her.
“I’m pretty smitten with Isaac, too. He’s such a great kid. He makes it easy to fall in love with him.”
“Isaac is smitten with you, too. But I wasn’t referring to him. I meant my son. My son seems very smitten with you.”
My mouth drops open and I’m sure that my eyes look ready to bug out of my head.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“You seem like a very nice girl, Isabelle, and frankly, that’s hard to come by these days. The last one seemed kind too, until my son married her and then, well, things changed quickly.”
Oh my god. Oh my god, she knows…she totally knows that I slept with her son. I can feel it.
My face heats as I look down at my hands, humiliation washing over me like a tidal wave.
“I don’t get that impression of you, and for that, I’m happy. But my son has been through far too much heartbreak, and I just need you to realize that. He needs someone to lean on, someone who loves him for the great man that he is, and not just the size of his bank account. He can’t handle another heartbreak. So, if you have good intentions, then please, give my son a chance. But if you don’t? Cut your losses and leave my son alone. I promise you, he’ll see through anything fake.”
“Mrs. James, it’s not like that with Ryan and I. He’s my boss, and that’s it.”
“Right.” The corners of her lips turn up as she meets my eyes.
“Did I mention that I had to run over to Ryan’s house last night? Isaac forgot his stuffed lamb. The poor kid can’t sleep without it.”
My stomach drops.
“I didn’t see anything,” she rushes on. “My ears gave away enough. What I will tell you though, Isabelle, is that when Ryan falls, he falls hard. He may be grown, but he’s still my baby. If your intentions are anything less than genuine, please. Leave him be.”
I don’t know if it’s possible to be more humiliated than I am right now.
As she pats my leg, my heart races.
His mother heard us.
Now, our dirty little secret isn’t so secret.
This is worse than I thought.
I make my way onto the field after the game. Ryan is busy talking to reporters, but out of the corner of
my eye, I catch sight of the slut show.
Brock is standing off to the side, watching it with a sick smile per usual. A few other players, who I’m not real familiar with are doing the same, but it only bothers me when I see Ryan glance up.
He looks at them for only a second, before returning his attention to the reporter. He continues talking to them, until his eyes land on me. He almost immediately excuses himself.
“Isabelle?” He hurries towards me with a concerned look. “Is everything alright? You don’t look so good.”
“Gee, thanks,” I mutter, before glancing over my shoulder, making sure that no one else is around.
“What’s going on?”
“Your mother,” I start, before taking in a huge gulp of air.
He raises his eyebrow in question as I rush on.
“Your mother knows. She stopped by the house last night. She heard everything.”
“What?” He frowns before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me with him towards the tunnel next to the dugout.
Once we’re inside, safely out of view of the stands, he releases me before looking down at me.
“Did she tell you that?”
“Yes! Obviously. She said that she didn’t see anything, but that she heard enough to know what was going on.”
He chuckles.
He is fucking laughing about it.
Asshole.
“I don’t think that this is funny, Ryan. How am I supposed to face her? This is so embarrassing.”
“Baby. Listen. I’m twenty-eight years old. My mother came into my house and overheard me having sex. We’re adults. It’s not like she can be mad about it.”
“That’s beside the point. The things that I was saying to you…” I shake my head before dropping it into my hands.
Someone, kill me now.
“I liked the things that you were saying to me.” I feel his body move closer to mine. “In fact, they’ve been running through my head all day.”
“Oh my god. Please just stop.”
“Why? So that you can try to forget about it? Baby. I don’t think that it’s going to work out like that.”
“Please stop calling me baby. It’s…”
His hand grasps my chin, forcing my face out of my hands. I have no choice but to look at him, and when our eyes connect, an unwelcome flood of butterflies erupts inside of me.
His grey eyes are hard on mine as he stares at me with such intensity that my knees become weak.
“I owe you an apology, Isabelle. You caught me off guard this morning, and, I think that I came across wrong to you. That pill…fuck. I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you were using me to get pregnant. I’ve just been burned before, in the past, alright? I can’t be too careful.”
“Ryan, I’m not like that. I wasn’t even planning on all of that happening. It just…and then…”
“I’m not even remotely sorry that it happened.” He holds my gaze, before taking a step towards me.
“Ryan,” I beg, and he just shakes his head.
“Listen to me, Isabelle. This shit between us?” He drops my chin and motions between our bodies.
“This shit is far from over. You can act like it was a mistake, but I can see it clearly in your eyes. It’s not over. In fact, I think it’s just getting started.”
He continues to stare at me for a few more moments, and I almost worry that something is going to happen between us again, right here, right now.
It’s like I’m no longer in control of my body, and that of course, worries me.
“I wasn’t prepared last night, and shit got out of hand. But next time, I will be prepared, and when it happens, I’m going to do you so fucking good that the only name you will ever remember will be mine.”
Well, hot fucking damn.
His words wash over me, and let’s be honest. I immediately turn to putty.
He steps even closer towards me, until I’m backed up against the wall with no escape.
His arms press against the wall, caging me in on either side, and he dips his head towards mine.
My heart thunders in my chest as his body presses against mine, and all of my air leaves me in one big gush.
In this moment, I think that I would do just about anything that he wanted me to.
That’s the kind of spell that
he puts me under, every time that he gets this close.
But, as luck would have it, someone steps into the tunnel and interrupts us.
Ryan’s attention turns only for a moment, but it’s long enough for me to duck underneath his arm and move away from his body, steadily breaking the trance that he has put me under.
“I need to go and find Isaac.”
He stares at me, long and hard, before a slow, easy smile spreads across his lips.
“Alright.” He smirks. “He’s staying at my mom’s again. Looks like it’s just going to be you and me tonight.”
Not if I can fucking help it.
Chapter Thirteen
Ryan
“Come again?” I glare at my sister, as she steps inside of my house in a skimpy black dress.
“I’m here for Isabelle. We’re going out tonight.”
“The fuck you are.” I complain, before crossing my arms and staring at her hard.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say to me?” My sister matches my stance, returning my glare.
“I said that you are not taking Isabelle out bar hopping. That’s a bad idea, and I am not having it. Plus, we have plans.”
I am fully planning on bending her over my bed and rocking her fucking world.
I’ve been thinking about it all day long, and the vision has been almost too much to take.
I almost took her again today inside of the tunnel.
If I don’t get to live out one of these fantasies soon, I’m going to spontaneously combust.
Rachel snorts, before rolling her eyes and stepping past me.
“I’m pretty sure that Isabelle is a grown woman. Isaac’s with mom tonight, anyhow. So, we assumed that meant that she had the night off.”
“Isabelle!” Rachel calls out. “I’m here!”
The door to Isabelle’s bedroom opens, and she steps out.
My heart drops to my feet as my eyes take her in.
She’s wearing a soft yellow sundress that is far too short for my liking. It complements her dark skin and her dark hair, and she looks stunning.
Way too damn good to be going out by herself.
“Wait, what in the hell? I thought that we had plans tonight,” I whisper to her, as she steps into the foyer.
Hard To Fall (Sliding Home Book 3) Page 9
