“You don’t get to apologize, Beau. What you did was unforgivable,” she said, her voice turning from rage to disappointment. “You know how I feel about Henry. How could you?”
“Come on, Tay. We’ve been friends since birth. Just let me explain. Please, Taylor.”
Taylor was quiet. She swung back and forth in her desk chair. She contemplated cutting Beau out of her life for good without giving him a chance to explain. She felt that he deserved that and worse. But she couldn’t do it. Until recently, he had been on the very short list of people Taylor trusted and cared about. She hated what he did, but she also hated to lose her friend.
“Go ahead. Tell me how you could possibly justify outing me.”
“Not over the phone. Meet me at the country club for lunch?” Beau asked.
“Fine. One o’clock. Don’t be late,” she said.
Beau was right. They had known each other since birth. They had been the best of friends and more until this falling-out between the families when they were forbidden from seeing each other, a rule they’d enjoyed breaking.
Taylor stayed in her room all morning, mostly trying to avoid Levi. She didn’t know what she would say to him if she saw him, so this was the best option. She would steer clear of the man who invaded her every waking thought. She would try to forget the man who made her body sing and looked at her like she was the most complicated and tempting thing. She would try.
It had all started as a game. Now she wondered if she’d gotten in over her head with Levi. When she wasn’t with him, she dreamt of his smooth voice and craved his touch. It was inexplicable. And for once in her life, she didn’t care to understand.
* * *
After a morning full of work, Levi sat in the kitchen scarfing down chicken and dumplings while Mandy rambled on about the dinner party. Levi nodded and hummed in the right places, all the while thinking about how much he would miss this cooking.
“So, I think we’ll have wine and beer and a few hors d’oeuvres. What do you think?”
Levi slid his empty plate toward her and pasted on his best smile. “Sounds great,” he said, hopping up from his seat. “Thanks for lunch.”
He took off upstairs as Mandy’s voice followed him through the house. When Levi reached the landing, he turned toward the master bedroom and ran right into Taylor. She clutched the fabric of his shirt to keep from falling over. Levi’s hands grabbed her waist to steady her. The feel of her body beneath his fingers set forth a torturous mirage of images in his mind.
He wanted to pull her lip from between her teeth and suck on it. He wanted to kiss away her frown and apologize for his cruel words the day before. He knew it was best not to. Instead, Levi took a step away and dropped his hands, instantly able to think more clearly.
Taylor released his shirt and looked up into his eyes. Her face was unreadable, caught in limbo between anger and caution. He hated being responsible for either.
“I’d better get to work,” he said after the silence stretched on too long.
Taylor nodded. “I was just on my way out.” She pointed to the stairs. “I’m meeting Beau for lunch.”
Levi turned his face away, not wanting to show her what he knew she wanted to see. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and curled his fingers in until his short nails made lines in his palms. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. All he could see now were images of Taylor and Beau, his hands on her body, the way his gaze adored her.
“Don’t go.”
He frowned and stared down at the floor, surprised that the words had left his lips. Taylor looked up, trying to catch his gaze. When Levi finally met her eyes, she stared without apology. She was looking for something in him, looking so hard it made his skin prickle. She must not have found it, because she shook her head and took to the stairs.
“Later,” she called over her shoulder as she disappeared from view.
Levi retreated to the master bedroom and leaned against the door. He banged the back of his head against it and cursed his stupidity. Sliding down, he let his back press against the door and his forearms rest on his bent knees. He tried to reason with himself. This was a good thing. It was best to stop whatever they had now, before neither of them could deny it. Soon, he’d be gone and she’d leave for college. All would be right in the world. But it didn’t feel right. It felt like searing pain in his chest and an emptiness that ached.
13. foreshadowing and home services
On the drive to the country club, Taylor worked out everything she wanted to say to Beau. Her frustration and disappointment made it hard for her to concentrate on her practiced words. Of course they had fought before. It had always been over stupid things, mostly Beau’s jealousy. But he had never gone to Henry before. Beau, of all people, understood the contempt Taylor had for her father. She needed to hear how he could justify this breach of trust.
Twenty minutes later, Taylor took a seat across from Beau. There weren’t many people in the restaurant at this hour, so they would have their privacy. Taylor tucked her napkin into her lap and watched him fidget with the silverware. The waiter appeared, took their order, and disappeared again. Beau had yet to make eye contact.
“Well?” she said after their drinks were delivered. “Let’s hear it.” She leaned back and crossed her arms while tapping her toe against the table leg. The soft knocking sound counted off the seconds of silence.
“When I came over that day, I’d just gotten in a fight with my dad,” Beau started. “I was already pissed off. I met that maintenance douche bag downstairs and then I caught him watching you in your room. I didn’t like the way he looked at you, Taylor,” he finished, finally meeting her gaze.
“It’s none of your concern how anyone looks at me.”
Beau nodded his head. “I know I have no claim to you. You’ve made that perfectly clear. But when I saw you wearing his shirt? I lost my damn mind.”
Even now, Taylor could feel the hostility rolling off him while he thought back to that day. His expression remained calm, but the muscle in his jaw twitched.
“You’re damn right, you did.”
“It’s just that … I know we’ve never been exclusive. I know about the other guys you’ve gone out with. But the thought of him—this loser, who probably has a gun rack and parole officer—touching you drove me crazy. I know you’ve always said you’ll never settle down with one guy. I think that’s because you don’t believe you deserve that. I wish you’d see that you can be happy—”
“Beau,” she tried to interrupt.
“Seeing his shirt on you, like his brand on you, broke me, Taylor. I’ve never seen you let a guy claim you in any way. Somehow he got to you. This older guy … probably manipulating you. I didn’t like it and I was worried. That’s why I called Henry.”
“So, if I had never worn his shirt, we wouldn’t be having this conversation?”
Beau shifted in his seat and scrubbed at his face. Their food was placed in front of them, and when the waiter was gone again, he continued.
“No. It’s not about the clothes. It’s the sentiment behind it.” He stopped and took a long sip of his water. The condensation rolled down his glass and dripped onto his plate. “I figured Henry would ground you or fire him. And you’d want me back. That’s why I called Henry.”
“You should have just talked to me—like you’re doing now. You know how I feel about that man. He may be my father, but…”
“He is your father. You love him. That’s why he can hurt you so much. But I am sorry, Taylor. I was jealous and I acted like a jackass.”
“Jealous of what?” she said as she stabbed some lettuce in her salad and took a bite.
“Taylor, you have to know what you mean to me. I want to be with you.”
She swallowed her food and felt panic push up from her stomach, threatening to choke her. She should have known it was coming. Taylor should have known that he’d never let her go off to Harvard without a big declaration. This had been brewing since they
were twelve years old. Suddenly, she felt terrible for letting it get this far. Taylor regretted all the times she’d led him on, even if not intentionally.
“That’s not an option, Beau. I can’t give you that,” she said.
“But you’re willing to give it to him? The hired help? Some delinquent you barely know?”
Taylor shook her head and gulped down her sparkling water.
“Taylor, I’m in love with you. I love you.”
Beau reached for her hand that rested on the table, but she pulled it back and tucked both hands into her lap. Tears wet her lashes as she worked up the nerve to say what she had to.
“I love you too. As a friend. That’s all,” she said. “I’m sorry if sleeping with you misled you. That was never my intention. I thought my feelings were clear.”
“I can be what you need, Tay. I can take care of you and give you anything you want. I will always love you.”
“I know, Beau,” Taylor answered, her voice surprisingly shaky. “And you will always be special to me. But I can’t force myself to fall in love with you. I’m so sorry. It would be a lie.”
He dropped his head, and Taylor watched as his chest rose and fell quickly. He slammed his fist down on the linen-covered table, making the plates and glasses rattle.
“So this is it? It’s over?” he whispered angrily.
“Yes. Us sleeping together is over. It’s not fair to either of us. But you’ll always be my friend, Beau.”
He pointed a finger at her as his eyes grew cold. “I won’t wait for you. I won’t be around when he takes what he wants and breaks your heart.” She didn’t say a word, just stared into his face, twisted with jealousy and resentment. “Good-bye, Taylor.”
Beau threw his napkin onto the table, dropped a few twenties, and disappeared. Tears dotted her own napkin and she wiped her cheeks quickly. Beau, one of her only true friends, was gone and now she was alone. She sat there for an hour, food untouched, and wondered if this was some kind of sick foreshadowing of the rest of her life.
* * *
“Okay, down to business,” Levi said, sipping his beer and joining his team in the corner booth of Mavericks. “I checked the master suite and basement today. Any other ideas?” Crystal and Kyle shrugged. “Come on! We’ve got one day to find that fucking safe!”
“Levi, calm down,” Kyle said. “It’s not do or die by tomorrow. I mean, if we don’t find it, what’s the worst that happens? Some thugs hold Taylor for ransom? That’s not so bad.”
“Not so bad? These are people we don’t know, more people to split our money with. Who knows what kind of assholes the Boss has for this job?”
“Levi’s right,” Crystal chimed in. “We don’t want the Boss to resort to Plan B. We need to prove that we were the right choice for the job.”
“I understand all that. But I think Levi’s a little short-sighted because of his hot piece of ass,” Kyle said, tapping his beer bottle on the tabletop.
Levi stood. “Fuck you, Kyle!”
Kyle shrank in his seat but grinned up at his fuming friend. “When are you going to own up to letting Taylor Hudson distract you from the real job?”
Levi grabbed Kyle’s shirt collar and twisted it, lifting him out of his seat. “Taylor Hudson was not, is not, and never will be a distraction. I’m in that house five days a week working my ass off for this job. Don’t talk to me like I’m fucking up.”
Kyle wrapped his hands around Levi’s and pried the strong fingers from his shirt. Kyle dropped back down into his seat. “I don’t want to have to worry about your priorities. That’s all I’m saying.”
Blood rushed through Levi’s veins, the sound of it like thunder in his ears. There was a fire in his gut now, a fire stoked by someone who knew what he was doing. “Get off my balls and worry about your own priorities, limp dick.”
“Dude! That was one time!” Kyle yelled.
“Can you both calm down?” Crystal asked. “Kyle, stop antagonizing Levi. Levi, you’re at a nine. I need you down to around a three.” Crystal tugged on Levi’s arm until he sat back down. “Whatever is in your head needs to stop. You’ve got to focus on the job.”
Levi glared at Kyle and picked at the label on his beer bottle. “I know,” he said. “I know,” he repeated more for himself.
“Damn, I thought I was finally going to get to kick your ass,” Kyle said, emptying his bottle and cracking the knuckles on his right hand.
“As if, bitch. I beat you down in tenth grade and I’ll do it again.”
“Please. The sun was in my eyes and I had a cold that day. Otherwise, I would have killed you.”
The three of them laughed, and just as it is with true friends, the tension was gone.
Friday morning hit Levi like a sledgehammer. Consciousness brought feelings of inadequacy and failure. A mental clock counted down the hours until Plan B would be initiated. He spent the entire day rechecking the house while Crystal rerouted all video feeds. By that afternoon, hopelessness felt like a heavy weight on his shoulders.
As he climbed the stairs to the second floor, he confirmed with his team the bad news. “No safe. I found nothing.”
“Copy that.” Kyle sighed. “Plan B it is.”
Levi stood at the foot of Taylor’s bed. Minutes ticked by as he stared blankly at the messy sheets and all the soft white pillows. He pictured her there pinned beneath him, chanting his name in breathy whispers.
* * *
The door flew open and Taylor came barreling in, her phone pressed to her ear. She stopped and gave Levi a confused look.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, ignoring Reese’s continued talking in her ear.
“Repairing a tile on your balcony,” he answered. Levi stepped onto the balcony and knelt next to the tile.
“So who’s going to be there?” she asked.
“I don’t know. It’s a party in the valley. The usual crew will be there.”
“Fine. I’ll go.”
“I’ll drive,” Reese offered.
“All right. I’ve got to go. See you at nine.”
Taylor stepped onto the balcony and took a seat in one of the lounge chairs. She watched Levi pull the tile from the floor and brush out the dirt around it.
She could tell her nearness made him nervous—his body was tense and on edge. She almost enjoyed the effect she had on him. It meant that he felt something too, that she wasn’t alone in whatever was happening between them.
“So who are you today, Levi? It’s exhausting keeping up with your moods,” Taylor said. Levi remained quiet and continued to clean the area. “Well, that sucks. Guess you’re just Maintenance Levi today. Do you have any other personalities? Cross-dresser Levi? Magic Mike Levi?”
He shook his head and pressed his lips together, fighting a smile. He applied some goo to the floor and placed the tile back down. She hated being this close to him when his mind was so far away. She hated that he worked hard to deny what was so easy to embrace. Taylor looked out over the lawn and sighed up at the gold and pink sky.
“I get that you don’t want me anymore, Levi. But you don’t have to ignore me. You are still capable of conversation, right?”
Levi turned and looked at her now. Taylor crossed her legs, and her skirt rode up dangerously high. A gust of wind blew across them and the gauzy material fluttered around her thighs. Levi’s gaze was transfixed there.
“Yes, Taylor. I’m capable of conversation,” he said.
“Good to know. The world is not ready to lose your poetic words or your views on Shakespeare.”
“It would be a shame.” Levi pushed down on the stone tile.
Taylor watched his arms flex and move as he worked. The art on his skin seemed to glow in this afternoon light.
“I broke it off with Beau,” she confessed. “The friendship. Everything.”
Levi didn’t look up, though she saw his shoulders relax. It shouldn’t matter that he was relieved. But it warmed her just the same.
�
�Is that what you wanted?” he asked.
“Yes.” Taylor leaned forward now, resting her elbows on her knees. “Whether you realize it or not, you helped me figure that out.”
Levi raised his hands in front of his chest, one of them holding a red rag.
“Whoa. Taylor, I didn’t—”
“Calm down, Romeo. I just meant that you made me see how nice it could feel to be with one person.” She paused and looked at him. “The right person.”
Levi nodded and continued to keep his eyes focused on the tile below him.
“Not every relationship is like your parents’.”
“Suzanne told me for years that I’m worth more than sex with these random boys. I never really understood. I felt like I was just using them to get what I wanted, like I was in control. But they were using me, too. I never had control over anything.”
She sat back now and looked at him, the colorful sky painting Levi’s handsome face in warm colors.
“You can change that,” he said.
“I’ll be leaving soon, starting over on the other side of the country. I can be whoever I want to be, right?”
“Right,” Levi agreed.
“Therapist Levi deems it so.”
Taylor laughed at her own joke and Levi smiled. It wasn’t the tight, reserved smile he usually gave her. He wore it freely and it made her heart stutter.
Suzanne appeared, poking her head outside.
“Levi, your girlfriend is requesting your assistance in the kitchen,” she said with a smirk. “Something about the ice maker. I swear I think she’s sabotaging appliances just to get you down there. Come quick before she sacrifices the coffeemaker.”
“Girlfriend?” Taylor asked, sitting up straight in her chair.
“Tell her I’ll be down in a few,” Levi answered.
When Suzanne was gone, Taylor looked at Levi again, waiting for an explanation. When he didn’t offer one, she pushed again.
“Girlfriend?”
“Mandy,” he said, wiping the tile down with a wet sponge. “She has a crush on me or something. Suzanne finds it fucking hilarious.”
Taylor leaned back in her chair. “She would.”
Perfect Betrayal Page 16
