by Tina Martin
“She was grieving, Des. You know Mom loved us as equally as Dad did.”
“Then why did she give up so easily after Dad died? Why did she forget about us and allow herself to fall into a state of despair?” Desmond dropped his head. “Losing them was the first time in my life I’d felt real pain, and I told myself it would be the last.”
“So am I right to assume you’ve been avoiding commitment because you’re afraid of something happening to the person you would commit to?”
Something happening to the person you would commit to…
He was sweating thinking about that person now – thinking about her being involved in a car wreck, about her dying. How could he be in a relationship with a woman, with Sherita, if he was constantly worrying about her whenever she was out of his sight? He couldn’t be. He’d never been so shaken by a woman in his life, and he didn’t like this feeling one bit. It was taking over his life, controlling him. He needed to take the control back. Answering his brother, he said, “Something like that…guess that makes me a coward.”
“It doesn’t make you a coward, Desmond. It makes you human. Listen, bro…when Anita died, it tore me apart. I loved her. We were close. I had already planned our life together. Our kids. Our home. Her dying wasn’t a part of the plan, but she died, and I’m not going to lie…it was one of the hardest, most heartbreaking trials I’ve ever faced. To this day I don’t know how I was able to get myself out of bed the few days after it happened, but I did. I got up, moved on and found the courage to love again.”
Desmond nodded.
“You’ve been saying, for a while, you never wanted a wife and kids and if that’s really the way you feel, the way you are, then I won’t try to convince you to change. But if you’re that way because of what happened to Mom and Dad, then, Des, I urge you to sit down and reconsider, maybe even get some counseling.”
Desmond shook his head, unsure if that’s what he wanted to do. He had his mind made up already, especially after these visions in his head. There was no way he could live like this.
“Emily and Ezra are my world,” Dante said. “When I leave work, I have them to come home to. A family. There’s no better feeling than that, Desmond.”
“And what if something happens to them? Then what? What if you lose them like you lost Anita? Like we lost Mom and Dad?”
Dante sighed. “What if the earth blew up and wiped out all human existence? You can’t live your life based on what ifs, man.” Dante stood up, frustrated. Why was it becoming increasingly difficult to get through to Desmond, lately? “Listen…I’m on my way to pick up Emily and Ezra. We’re meeting Dimitrius, Melanie and Grace at the zoo. You’re welcome to tag along if you would like.”
“No. I have some errands I need to get done today. And I’m sure Emily doesn’t want to see me anyway.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” Dante said. “I don’t know what’s going between you and Sherita. I hope you will talk to me if you need some advice, but while you work through whatever it is that’s bothering you…that’s making you irritable and spastic, I need you to be considerate of Emily. I understand problems arise, tempers flare…we work together. I know that. But don’t ever raise your voice at my wife. I won’t tolerate that, not even from you.”
“I was out of line. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t tell me…tell her,” Dante said. “I’m out.”
“All right. Later.”
CHAPTER 27
A little over an hour into the drive, Sherita took her phone from the passenger seat, finding Emily in her contact list. She dialed her number.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Em. It’s Sherita. I just realized I didn’t give you my new number.”
“Apparently, you didn’t give it to Desmond either. He called me about twenty minutes ago, asking me for it. What’s going on with you?”
Detecting panic in her voice, Sherita said, “Emily, I’m fine. Why do you sound so worried?”
“Because I am worried. I haven’t spoken to you since you left last night, Sherita. You were in tears, telling me you were leaving and—”
“I know, but I’m okay now.”
After a few seconds of silence, Emily asked, “What’s going on between you and Desmond? It’s obvious something is going on.”
“Emily—”
“No, Sherita, be honest with me. I’m worried, okay.”
“You have no need to worry.”
“Sure I do.”
“Why?” Sherita asked.
“Because I don’t think Desmond is right for you, and I don’t want you to end up getting hurt.”
“Am I hearing you correctly? You were the main advocate to get me and Desmond together, but now you don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“No, I don’t. You were right. Desmond isn’t like Dante and Dimitrius. He always said he never wanted to get married, didn’t want children, so why link up with someone who doesn’t want the same things you want? Gosh, Sherita…you were so upset last night. I thought you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown or something.”
“Emily, I appreciate you for trying to look out for me, but I’m okay. I really am. I got this.”
“So in three months, after TCC finalizes the deal with Victor, you have no problem walking away from Desmond?”
Sherita pulled in a breath. She would have a major problem walking away from Desmond. She was in love with him. Still, she hid her feelings and said, “If we need to go our separate ways after three months, then we’ll go our separate ways.” It hurt to say that because she wanted Desmond as a permanent part of her life. But, she had to face reality at the same time – Desmond had never been in a serious relationship so why would he start now? Why would he give up everything for her?
“Okay,” Emily said, sounding relieved. “What are you doing? Sounds like you’re in a car.”
“I’m on my way to Myrtle Beach. I have a job booked every day beginning today and on until Friday.”
“You’re driving?”
“Yes. I’ll be back Friday evening.”
“Good. Work will help you get your mind off of things.”
“Yep. How’s my baby? I hear him trying to talk.”
“He’s fine. He was running a slight fever last night. Don’t know what that was about, but he’s fine now. We’re actually getting ready to go to the zoo whenever Dante gets back.”
“Okay, Girl. Well, I’m going to go so I can concentrate on the road. I’ll talk to you later.”
“All right. Be careful Rita, and call me when you get there.”
“I will. Bye.”
Desmond had been pacing the deck with his cell phone in his left hand when the ringing snatched his attention away from his thoughts. He saw a number he didn’t recognize and quickly answered, “Hello.”
“Hey, you.”
He closed his eyes, feeling relief wash over him like the cold shower he’d had earlier. “Sherita, I told you to call me. And why didn’t you leave your cell phone number with me?”
“Desmond, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to worry, but I’m fine. Everything is fine.”
“You didn’t leave me your number. I was worried about you.”
“I’m sorry, Des. I really am. You forgive me, handsome?”
Desmond scrubbed his right hand down his face and said, “Skip every hour. I need you to check in with me every thirty minutes.”
Sherita grinned.
“Why are you laughing?” he asked, his irritation mounting by the second.
“Des, don’t you think every thirty minutes is a little excessive?”
“Not at all. You’re alone, on the road, and I want to make sure you’re okay Sherita. If you don’t call me, I’ll call you.”
Sherita smiled. Then, teasing him, she said, “Doesn’t mean I’m going to answer.”
Frowning, he all but growled, “Do you think this is a game to me?”
“Desmond—”
“I’m not playing around with you.” He mumbled somethin
g incoherent, inadvertently, hanging up the phone. He never wanted this, never wanted a woman this close to him. He’d let her get too close, and now he had to deal with the repercussions. Or did he?
CHAPTER 28
Sherita had tried calling him back several times after their call was disconnected. At first, she thought she dropped the call, or maybe it was his phone. Hours later, she realized he must’ve hung up intentionally, especially since he wasn’t answering her calls or wasn’t trying to call her back. This from the man who ordered her to call at the top of every hour, then every thirty minutes…
She’d seen multiple red flags from Desmond – parts of his personality she didn’t like. He was controlling – not like those Dr. Phil guest husbands who told their women when to eat, sleep, cook and wash their feet. He was controlling in simple things – in when he wanted her to call him, telling her to drive his car when her car was perfectly operational and even laying out those bogus rules for her when they first entered into this agreement – rules he’d broken.
She also thought it was a double standard for him to insist she didn’t see or talk to Thane, not like she wanted to anyway. Still, she hadn’t told him to stop talking to his women, and even if she had, would he have listened? She wondered just how many women there were.
And the last thing about him that bothered her the most was the fact that he was pretending he loved her. If he really loved her like he claimed, then why did he request they keep their relationship a secret from his family? To pretend like they were merely nothing but housemates when they shared the same bed? His bed?
Sherita shook her head and placed a hand on her stomach, feeling queasy. Emily was right. This thing she had with Desmond wasn’t going anywhere. They’d been living together for close to two months, and she was still a secret. If any man was going to claim to love her, then he would have to express that love publicly. She wasn’t about to be anyone’s secret wife.
Arriving at Ocean Creek Resort in North Myrtle Beach where she had her only job of the day, she gathered her camera and other equipment, heading out to the beach where she would take pictures of Josh and Lily Shaffer. They’d booked her for the job a year ago.
Sherita held the camera in her hand, instructing them on how to stand as they were immediately in front of the shoreline. She’d already taken photos of the entire wedding party. Now, she was busy snapping bride and groom shots.
Bride and groom…
She thought back on how her courthouse marriage to Desmond Champion had been the most rushed, coldest ceremony a woman could have. There was nothing special about the day. It was all about money. Seeing this couple happy, in love and proclaiming that love in front of hundreds of guests left her with a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach. A man had never loved her this way, and she doubted one ever would.
Withholding tears, she gathered up her equipment, then walked as quickly as she could to the bathroom where she leaned over a toilet and vomited. The fatigue of driving so far alone, working in ninety-degree heat and then having to think about Desmond was stressing her out to the point where she’d become sick. She wasn’t sure how much more of him she could take.
CHAPTER 29
She drove to Desmond’s beach house and sat there in the jeep, not wanting to go in. She tried to call him again but he hadn’t answered. Now, she was worrying. Sick and all, she was worrying.
For a split second, she thought about calling Emily but decided not to. Desmond would call eventually, once he got out of his sour mood.
Finally getting out of the jeep, she opened the back door, took her suitcase from the back seat, then rolled it to the front door of the house. She found the house key Desmond had given her and when she unlocked the door, she stepped in, pulled her bag in and closed the door.
“When I tell you I love you, do you believe me?”
Sherita turned around so fast, she almost lost her breath. Desmond was standing there, in the living room. Was she seeing things? He had on a pair of jeans, a white tank top and his hands were hidden in the front pockets of his jeans.
“Desmond?” She placed a hand over her heart. He nearly scared the life out of her.
“Answer my question, Sherita.”
After balancing her breathing, she asked, “Desmond, what are you doing here?”
“Answer my question, Sherita,” he said in a demanding tone.
“Answer mine,” she said, thoroughly confused, hearing the beats of her muffled heart in her ears. She’d left him standing in the driveway this morning and didn’t expect to see him again until next Friday.
“Okay,” Desmond said. “This is my house. That’s why I’m here. Now, answer my question. When I tell you I love you, do you believe me?”
“No,” she answered honestly. How could she believe him after what they’d done? What he’d done? This marriage was nothing more than a business transaction. Even when she thought they were becoming something more, he’d told her not to tell the family about them.
He glared at her, hands still in his pockets. “You don’t believe me?”
“No. Is that why you came here? To ask me that, when all you had to do was call me or answer your phone? I—”
“Why don’t you believe me, Sherita?”
Holding his angry gaze, Sherita said, “This is ridiculous. I didn’t expect to see you here, and I didn’t come here for this, Desmond. I don’t feel good, I’ve had a long, stressful day and I don’t need this right now.”
“Why don’t you believe me, Sherita?”
“It really doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter,” he said angrily, his eyes darkening. He took a few steps closer to her and said, “Why must we play these games?”
“I’m not playing any games.”
“Then answer my question. When I tell you I love you, why don’t you believe me?”
Sherita pulled in a breath. Deciding to put it all out there and be honest with him, she said, “I don’t believe you because my gut tells me the only reason you said it was to keep me around. If I leave, your company risks losing fifty-million dollars so naturally, you would do whatever it took to make me stay – buying a laptop for me, redesigning my website, letting me drive your car, giving me a thousand dollars for spending money, the keys to your vacation home – everything you do for me, supposedly out of generosity, has a purpose and nothing about it involves love. It’s business, and I get that. I signed on for that. But I didn’t expect to fall in love with you, but I did. So when you tell me to pretend like there’s nothing going on between us in front of the rest of your family, I do it, while pretending it doesn’t hurt me. When you make love to me…sorry, let me correct myself. When you sleep with me, I pretend you are a man who actually wants me, who swept me off of my feet and got down on one knee and promised to love me forever, but you’re not that man. You’re just a man who sees what he wants, knows what he wants and does anything to get what he wants. I know I can’t compete with fifty-million dollars, but it was nice to pretend.”
Sherita pinched the tears from the corners of her eyes. “I take pictures of these happy couples all the time and with every flash of my camera, I always wonder when my time is coming. When my prince would sweep me off of my feet and declare his undying love for me in front of everyone – our friends and family. But that time will never come for me because I always end up with men like you, and Thane.”
Without saying a word, Desmond took a final step in front of her, placed his hands on her face and said, “You don’t believe any of that.”
“I do…every word of it.”
“Then why do you make love to me, Sherita? You say I’m controlling, that I don’t love you and that this is all about the money for me, but I have never, nor will I ever, force you to make love to me. So why? Why do you make love to me?”
With trembling lips, she responded, “Because I love you, Desmond.”
He swallowed hard when he watched the tear crawl down her face. He released her, turned awa
y then walked on through the kitchen and out the door.
Dabbing her eyes, she stood there, in the foyer, debating whether or not he should stay or go. One thing was for certain – she was tired of crying.
Taking her suitcase upstairs, she pulled it inside one of the bedrooms and ran into the bathroom, vomiting again. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this sick. Then again, she couldn’t recall being this worked up over a man, a job and on top of all of that, she’d had to deal with her parents, their mortgage, then finding a new apartment in a couple of months.
Peeling off her clothes, she showered quickly then turned off the lights and slid between the covers. In the morning, she’d be able to think clearer. She’d be able to make a decision about whether or not she would fulfill the remainder of this five-month marriage deal or go on her way.
Desmond climbed the stairs. He didn’t like what love was doing to him. He’d been acting sporadically, irrationally, taking a flight to Myrtle Beach with the sole purpose of making sure she was okay, especially after all of those visions he was having. He could’ve called her back, but her voice alone wouldn’t suffice. He needed to lay eyes on her.
Standing over her bed now while she slept, he thought about the things she had said – that he didn’t love her because the only thing that had brought them together was money. That was true – a business deal had brought them together, but he knew what he was feeling for her had to be love. He never went to such extreme lengths to ensure the safety of a woman. He was never angry when he couldn’t reach a woman by phone, and he never felt the urge to be close to a woman as he felt with Sherita. And it hurt him to know she didn’t think his love was real. He was insulted when she’d lumped him in the same category as Thane.
He eased on the bed so as not to disturb her, then rubbed his fingers on top of her soft hair. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Sherita,” he whispered. “You’re right about me. I’m no good for you.” He stood up again, leaving her bedroom and headed to the living room. He shouldn’t have come here. He realized that now. Come morning, he’d leave before she had a chance to be upset by his presence yet again.
