by A. T Brennan
He might be twenty-six, but his eyes were much older. His body was youthful, but when he looked into Cameron’s eyes, it was as though he’d already lived a lifetime.
He couldn’t seem to get Cameron out of his head.
Cameron was attractive, there was no question of that, but he wasn’t what usually made Nathan’s head turn. His body was lean and tight, and he was only about five foot six. He wasn’t muscled, and he was young, and Nathan was a little shocked at how much his body responded to him.
When they’d been talking in his kitchen the other night, he’d taken a moment to really look at Cameron. As his eyes had swept over Cameron’s body, he’d felt himself getting hard as he wondered how soft his skin would be or how his body would feel pressed up against his. Thankfully he’d been wearing jeans, so Cameron hadn’t been able to see the evidence of his thoughts. He had no idea why his mind had immediately gone there as he’d checked him out.
Cameron was too young for him, and he seemed a little naïve. He was usually attracted to men who mirrored him. He’d always been drawn to taller, broader men who were about the same age. Jason had used to joke that it was a good thing he was blond because otherwise they’d look too much alike.
He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand through his hair as he tried to push all thoughts of Jason out of his mind.
Jason was gone. He’d been gone for three years now. The pain was still there. The tightening in his chest and the way it was slightly harder to breathe when he thought of Jason hadn’t faded yet, and it was the reason he’d spent the last three years living like a hermit.
He sighed and leaned back in his chair.
Cameron had only been there for a week and a half, and he was already throwing his life out of balance.
He was beautiful. His smile was distracting, and his easy confidence was captivating. Then there were those eyes that seemed to look right into his soul.
But it was more than that. Cameron was beautiful, but he was complicated. He seemed smart; he’d certainly held his own in the few conversations they’d had. He didn’t watch TV and preferred to read. He’d gone to college and was a qualified teacher but had opted to be a nanny. He’d gotten his kids to donate their old toys to charity. He’d questioned Nathan’s parenting but had softened the conversation by revealing something about himself.
The more he found out about Cameron, the more he wanted to know, and that was dangerous.
He was his kid’s nanny, and the first one they seemed to like. He wasn’t the type of man Nathan was looking for, and Nathan really wasn’t what anyone needed right now.
He pushed away from his desk and stood up. He wasn’t exactly tired, but he needed to get some sleep, even if it was only to escape his thoughts.
Chapter Four
Cameron was regretting taking the kids to the toy store.
After they’d donated their toys, he’d promised to take them to pick out some new toys. Nathan hadn’t mentioned a budget, but Cameron wasn’t about to spend the kind of money the kids were expecting him to.
He knew the family was well off. The house said it all, but he was a firm believer in learning the value of money and not taking what you did have for granted.
It was a tough lesson to try and teach three kids who were used to getting their way. After a temper tantrum from Daniel that had forced him to take all three kids out of the store so he could calm him down, a meltdown from Kaitlyn that had made him find a quiet corner so he could comfort her, and a very determined Logan who had spent the entire time defiantly picking out the most expensive toys he could find before dropping them into their cart, Cameron was exhausted.
He’d used what felt like every ounce of his patience, and it had been a very long process, but after an hour they’d left the store with a few new toys for each child, and they had managed to keep to the budget he’d set. It was a hard-fought win, but it was a win.
NATHAN STOOD IN THE doorway to the kitchen and looked around. The kids were at the small, circular table near the back wall, bent over as they colored. Cameron was at the cooking island with his back to him. Nathan took a moment to bask in the sight and breathed in, enjoying the smell wafting around the room.
Whatever Cameron was cooking smelled incredible. He’d been thinking about what Cameron had said all day, and while he knew Cameron was right, he wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t a run-around-the-backyard kind of man, and the thought of going to the park with all the other kids and their nannies and parents made him feel a little claustrophobic. Spending time with them before dinner seemed like the best way to ease into things, but now that he was there he was feeling very unsure and uncomfortable.
After a moment, he coughed, hoping someone would notice him so he wouldn’t have to break the ice.
“Dad?” Logan was the first to turn around, and at his voice, the other two kids whirled around and stared at him.
“Daddy?” Kaitlyn asked, the biggest grin on his face as she threw herself out of her chair and raced up to him. She grabbed him around one leg and hugged him happily.
“Hi kids,” he said, a little unsure of himself as he patted Kaitlyn’s head.
Kaitlyn just held onto his leg and stared up at him.
“So, what are you guys doing?” he asked.
“Coloring,” Daniel answered as he stared at him.
“Come color with us!” Kaitlyn grabbed his hand and tried to drag him to the table.
“Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes,” Cameron said from his place at the stove as Nathan sat down at the table with the kids. “Would you like to join us?”
“Sure, thank you,” he said, giving Cameron a look that he hoped said he wasn’t pleased with the idea but couldn’t say no with all three of his kids staring up at him expectantly.
“Great. Why don’t the four of you color and I’ll get dinner finished? Then we’ll all eat together.”
Daniel handed him a bunch of crayons and a stack of paper, and they all set to working on their pictures. The kids kept sneaking looks at him, and he was desperately trying to think of something to say.
It struck him how sad this situation was. He was sitting with his children, and he couldn’t think of a single thing to say to them. Cameron had been right. He’d been absent, and because of this, he felt like a stranger to his own children.
It didn’t take Cameron take long to finish up the spaghetti, and he got the kids to clear, then set the table. Nathan sat in stunned silence as he watched his kids not only set the table but laugh and smile as they did it.
“Stay.” Cameron pointed to the table when it was time to serve. Nathan stayed were he was and stared as the kids lined up in front of Cameron.
“Logan,” he said as he handed the boy a plate. “Will you please give this to your father?”
Logan took the plate from him and walked over to Nathan, almost shyly, and handed him the plate.
“Thank you.” Nathan took the plate and gave his son a smile.
“Daniel, can you please take this for your sister?” Cameron asked as he turned to Daniel.
Daniel nodded and carefully carried Kaitlyn’s plate to her spot and put it down.
“Will you please take this to the table for me?” he handed Kaitlyn a bottle of Parmesan cheese.
Kaitlyn took it carefully and carried it with both hands to the table.
“Logan.” Cameron smiled as he gave the expectant boy a plate. “For you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Daniel.” He handed him another plate.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
When everyone was seated, Cameron picked up a small basket of garlic bread and a plate and sat down at the end of the table, separating himself a little from him and the kids.
Nathan was amazed. He’d never seen the kids take part in dinnertime. Even when Jason had been alive, they’d always just sat there and waited for him to serve them. Cameron must have some sort of magic powers b
ecause the difference in them after such a short time was incredible.
As he’d watched them hand out plates and sit down, he’d taken a closer look at the spaghetti sauce. There were chopped-up vegetables in it. He could see carrots, broccoli, zucchini, and spinach. He felt kind of bad for Cameron. After all the effort he’d put into making the food, the kids wouldn’t eat it. They didn’t like vegetables.
He just watched in amazement as the kids all dug into their food. He’d never seen them eat vegetables before. Even Jason had pretty much given up on getting them to eat them, and he’d never heard of a nanny getting them to eat them either.
After a moment of staring, he started to eat with them.
The food was amazing. He was used to sauce that tasted like tomatoes and noodles that were soft and squishy. Cameron’s sauce had zip and a little kick without being spicy, and the noodles were a little hard but not crunchy. The vegetables were still crisp and crunched deliciously. Even the garlic bread had a little something extra to it that made it sweet and not overpowering, and it was still crispy on the outside while being incredibly soft on the inside.
All the food Cameron made so far had been good, but Nathan hadn’t bothered to heat any of it up before eating it because he’d expected it to be bland. It seemed as though he’d been wrong.
It was the best meal he’d had at home in three years.
Cameron was pleased that everyone seemed to be enjoying their food, and he was really pleased that Nathan was there and sitting with the kids. It was true that he looked a little lost, but at least he was making the effort.
As he was reaching for the Parmesan cheese, he glanced over at the stove, making sure the heat indicator was off. He was positive that he’d turned it off, but it was one thing he always had to triple-check before he would be convinced that it really was off and there was no danger.
Just as Cameron’s hand closed around the container, he felt a very big, very warm, and surprisingly soft hand on top of his. His eyes snapped back to the table, his lips parting in surprise as a flutter moved through his body, making him shiver at the contact.
Nathan was staring at him, surprise and shock mirrored on his face. As Cameron’s skin started to tingle, he felt Nathan’s hand convulse over his slightly before he snatched it away, still staring at him.
As soon as Nathan’s hand left his, Cameron’s skin felt cold, but the slight tingle lingered. He dropped his hand and pulled it close to his body, cradling it as they continued to stare at each other.
The fluttering in his chest intensified the longer their eyes remained locked together. It wasn’t until Kaitlyn dropped her fork on the table with a clatter that Cameron was shocked out of the spell that seemed to have been cast over them.
Cameron shook his head and tried to calm his breathing as he reached over to pick up the fallen fork and hand it back to Kaitlyn, thankful to have something to do with his hands and somewhere to look other than at Nathan.
Cameron never been so affected by a simple touch before. Nathan had only touched his hand, and his body had reacted as if he’d touched somewhere much more intimate, and the butterflies he’d felt weren’t something that he experienced often. He was practical and pragmatic. He wasn’t one to moon over men or feel faint and fluttery when they were near him, but that was exactly how he’d felt when Nathan had touched him. But Nathan was his boss, and he was his nanny. He shouldn’t be fluttering or tingling at all in Nathan’s presence, and he had to find a way to get over this silly little crush before he did or said something foolish.
The way the small round table was set up, he and Nathan were almost directly across from each other while Kaitlyn sat between them on one side and the boys on the other. He’d tried to separate himself from everyone to give them some family time, but even as he glanced up from Kaitlyn, he could feel Nathan’s eyes on him.
“Why don’t you guys tell your father about our trip to the store today?” he suggested quickly as he looked down at his plate and tried to compose himself.
“You went to the store?” Nathan asked hesitantly as though he wasn’t sure if his comment would start a conversation.
Apparently, it was the right thing to say because all three kids launched into very spirited and competing accounts of their time at the toy store. Nathan looked a little overwhelmed as he tried to keep up with them while they kept talking over each other. After a moment, he shifted his gaze to Cameron, giving him an exasperated look as Cameron grinned at him.
“How about we take turns telling your father about the store?” he suggested, his voice breaking through their competing ones.
All three kids paused and nodded.
“Logan, why don’t you start? Tell your dad one thing. Then Daniel can tell him one thing, and then Kaitlyn,” he suggested. “Then you’ll find a rhythm and talk together, not all at the same time.”
The kids nodded, and Logan turned to his father almost shyly.
Cameron sat back and smiled as Logan started to tell Nathan about one of the toys he’d chosen. His voice started very low, and he had a hard time looking at his dad, but once Nathan asked him a question, Cameron could see the confidence in Logan growing until he was sitting tall, his voice clear as he used his hands to emphasize his points.
When Logan was done, it was Daniel’s turn. He wasn’t as shy as his brother, but he also seemed unsure of whether or not Nathan would be interested in his story. But like his brother, after a single question, he too was full of confidence and relishing in his dad’s attention.
Kaitlyn didn’t so much have a story for him about the store itself, but about how all their old toys were going to help sick kids who didn’t have toys to play with. She told him how good it was that they were able to help the kids because she would be very sad if she was sick and had no toys to play with.
They fell into an easy conversation after that and Cameron loved seeing how lit up and happy the kids were, and how Nathan seemed more at ease and more comfortable talking with them.
He was so glad Nathan had listened to him and taken his advice; that he was putting in the effort. His kids really adored him, and they needed him to play an active role in their lives and not just be a detached parent who paid the bills and only said hello in passing.
He was also glad that whatever had gone on between them was over, and Nathan was able to look at him with neutral eyes. Cameron was still confused about what had happened and a little unnerved, but as long as he was able to ignore it, then they could go back to normal.
“Can we have dessert, since dad is here tonight?” Daniel asked suddenly as he and Logan helped him clear the plates from dinner.
“Sure.” Cameron smiled. “I think that it would be nice to have dessert together. Why don’t you sit with your dad and sister and I’ll bring it to you.”
“Thank you!” the boys chorused and almost fell over each other in their haste to get back to the table.
Nathan kept one eye on Cameron and the other on the kids as they told him all about the different places they’d gone so far this summer and some of the gossip from the playground.
He was still a little shaken by what had happened when he’d touched Cameron’s hand. The jolt of electricity that had moved through his hand and arm hadn’t felt like a shock, but it had shocked him. It was as though he’d been frozen. All he’d been aware of was Cameron’s beautiful aqua eyes and the softness of his skin under his hand. His body had started to tighten, and when Kaitlyn had dropped her fork and knocked him back into reality, he’d been more than a little flustered and confused.
Cameron was his nanny, and he was Cameron’s employer. It was true he was a beautiful and interesting man, but that was a line he couldn’t cross. He had to keep his distance from Cameron and keep things professional, but as he watched Cameron, he couldn’t help wondering how the rest of him would feel.
Cameron moved through the kitchen effortlessly, as though he’d been cooking in there for years and not just days. His movements were str
ong, sure and confident. He looked like he belonged there, with them.
“Daddy?”
Nathan heard the soft voice at his elbow and snapped out of his reverie.
“I’m sorry, Kaitlyn, what was that?” he asked as he looked down at the kids, tearing his eyes away from Cameron’s back.
“Are you going to eat dinner with us every day?” she asked.
“Um,” he stammered as he looked at all three of their expectant faces before glancing at Cameron. By the way he was standing perfectly still, Nathan could tell he was waiting to hear his answer.
“Maybe not every day, but when I’m home and I don’t have work to do.”
“You always have work to do,” Daniel said suddenly. “All you do is work.”
Nathan stared at his son and had a momentary flashback to when he was a child. He’d said the exact same thing to his father when he’d been about Daniel’s age. His father had just given him a look, told him that someone had to pay the bills, then walked out of the room. That had really hurt. Even to this day he remembered the pain he’d felt when he’d realized that his father cared more about work and money than him.
“How about if I’m home, then I’ll eat with you. Work can wait.”
“Yay!” the kids all chorused, and Kaitlyn threw herself into his arms and hugged him tight.
As he hugged her, Nathan realized he couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged any of his children, and a pang of regret shot through him.
“Okay, dessert time,” Cameron said as he brought over a tray with five bowls on it. “But we don’t get dessert every time your dad eats with us. Dessert is a treat, and it can only be a treat if...” he trailed off as he gave Logan a pointed look.
“If you don’t have it all the time,” Logan answered dutifully.
Nathan watched the exchange and then looked into the bowl that was put in front of him. It was nothing more than strawberry yogurt with banana slices and some granola on top. It wasn’t dessert, and he waited for the kids to let Cameron know exactly what they thought of it.
