by Shelby Dean
I see pain and anger flash through them, and it's like a blow straight to the face, I almost laugh comically. He doesn’t want to be touching me… He doesn’t want me.
I swallow past the lump in my throat and fight back the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. I push his hand away and go to sit up. Cillian protests. “Niamh, you need to rest. It's obvious you can’t be pushing yourself,”
I look at him, and then back down at the ground feeling completely wiped out, and utterly embarrassed. “You don’t need to act like you care Alpha,” I whisper.
But i’m sure he heard me, because I hear a growl come from him, and then the next thing I know the door is slamming closed. The room goes back to being silent, and I heave a out a long sigh. I should have known better than to think someone would care… I shake my head. I should have known better.
They only want me here because of what they think I can do, and because Mr. Alpha thinks he has some claim over me. I grit my teeth to refrain from spewling out curses.
I’ve been here long enough anyway, Crónán had to have been back by now and noticed that I'm not there; and honestly I don’t know whether or not he would come after me.
But I have nowhere else to go, and after everything I was told I might as well stick around and figure things out. So, i decide to get ready for this pack dinner thing that I was invited to.
I am hungry after all, so after a quick shower, I get dressed in my tight denim skinny jeans, and my only somewhat nice shirt. Nice meaning that it isn’t worn out and has no holes in it. It's a dark green V neck that goes well with my blonde almost white hair, and deep dark green eyes.
I slip on my old battered converse, because they are the only shoes I have and brush through my hair. Looking at my reflection, I decide to put on my mother's necklace.
It's a beautiful emerald attached to a long silver chain, and as I put it on, my nerves ease somewhat, having something on that comforts me. I’ve never been comfortable with my body, but my insecurities are the least of my worries right at this moment.
Taking in a deep breath, I smooth my shirt down and open my door. I find Fergus walking up the steps down the hallway towards me and I step out into the hallway, shutting the door behind me.
He looks up when he hears the door shut and smiles at me. “Niamh, I was just coming to get you. Are you ready for dinner?” he asks me. I give a small smile back and nod at him.
He reaches me and holds his arm out, which I slip my arm through and together we make our way through the house and outside. The cool air brushes across my skin, and cools down my heating skin.
We continue to walk a little further towards a big barn in the back. The outside is a little worn but its been kept up with, clean but older and worn. The color is fading red, with vines running up the side, it's absolutely gorgeous, and I barely hold in a grasp at the beauty of it.
But I manage and as Fergus and I reach the barn doors, he opens them for me and proceeds into the room, leaving me standing there just staring at everyone. I swallow past the lump in my throat, and walk into the large space.
Everyone is already eating and chatting amongst themselves. I stand there awkwardly for a few moments until another girl comes up to greet me. “Hi! I’m Alannah, I am Galvin’s sister. It's nice to meet you!” She tells me. She holds her hand out to me, and I smile at her.
Taking her hand, I shake it gently. “Nice to meet you too,” Before I can finish greeting her, the whole room goes completely silent and I notice everyone is looking at the head of one of the tables.
I am not surprised to find Cillian standing there, looking straight at me. He clears his throat, and looks over all of his pack that is in attendance.
“I would like to introduce a new member coming into our Pack, Niamh Daill.” He then gestures for me to walk over to him. I do my best to not fall flat on my face while walking over to him, as I can feel the stares everyone giving me prickling against my skin. Then, Cillian takes my hand and continues.
“Niamh is my mate,” everyone cuts him off as they start cheering and clapping. But as soon as Cillian puts his hand up to silence them, they immediately go completely silent once again.
“Niamh Daill, is the last living Royal of our kind. I trust every single one of you to keep this a secret within the Pack and not talk about it with anyone but myself or her. Being a Royal, Niamh is the only one in our kind who can help us find our destined mates,” he pauses looking over everyone.
“To keep things fair, we are going to have a Pack Ranking tonight for Niamh, now if everyone could please stand up and stand in their Ranking positions,” He finishes. I swallow past the lump in my throat and force my nerves to calm.
Chapter 4
Mates
Niamh
Everyone stands and immediately starts standing in random places. Soon, there is one straight line from the door of the barn, to the end of the inside on the far side that wraps around back to the door of the barn again. Everyone is silent as Cillian turns to me.
“Niamh, to determine your Pack Rank, you will stand before each person and look them directly in the eyes. You will do this until one of you looks down in submission. Do you understand the rules?” Cillian asks me.
I nod at him quickly, and he gestures for me to step forward to the first person. Who I am assuming is the lowest in dominance. This male has kind of a nerdy look to him. He’s not skinny by any means, but he’s not built with much muscle either, more of a lean frame of body.
He has bright red hair, that’s been pushed back and messy, as if he plays with it when he’s nervous or frustrated, and a set of glasses on his face. He wrings his hands and they start to tremble as I get closer to him.
I smile softly at him, and he finally looks me in the eyes. My wolf pushes to the surface, the hair on my skin raising in awareness as she growls in my mind for his submission, but also for something else... Not even a full minute passes and he quickly looks down, panting. I do this with the next and the next.
Until I’m standing at the last person at the door. This is another male, who before meeting my eyes smirks at me, as he blatantly stares at my chest. I sigh, waiting for him to stop staring.
Cillian growls loudly, a sign to stop looking at his mate and that he is getting impatient. Abruptly this male stops staring at my girls and looks directly into my eyes. I chuckle for a moment but then immediately stand up straight and look back.
This one lasts longer than the others, but after about 10 minutes, he starts sweating profusely, his calm breaths become panting, and his fists curl in at his sides in my peripheral.
I stand my ground, but a little sweat starts beading on my forehead as well, and my wolf fully pushes to the surface once again.
A growl escapes my lips unbidden, and his eyes widen and his pupils dilate. Finally, he looks down and drops to his knees. Cillian whistles. “Damn, she got past you brother. Never thought I'd see the day,” Cillian walks over to this man, and helps him stand back up on shaky knees.
The man laughs at Cillian, and shakes his head, looking at me. “Damn woman,” he says, laughing. A smile cracks my face, and pretty soon everyone in the barn starts laughing.
“Alright everyone, go and enjoy the rest of your dinner!” Cillian exclaims. Everyone bustles around back to their tables and food and I turn back to Cillian.
He is laughing with his friends and pack mates, and so i decide to help myself to some food. I’ve been starving and now its making my stomach growl.
After grabbing some food and finding myself an empty table to sit at, i take a seat and begin to gingerly eat my food. As i’m eating, I watch how the Pack interacts with one another and I’m smiling at how happy i see them all to be. Everyone is enjoying the food, and the company and family they have around them.
My mind sombers as think back to my family dinner with my parents… It wasn’t as big as this, but we were with each other so I was grateful instead of curious as to why we weren't around other wolves or in a p
ack.
I reminisce on these memories until I’m pulled from them, by someone standing at my table across from me. It’s the lowest dominant pack member.
I watch him fidget for a moment, and then I smile at him. “Please sit down, what’s your name?” I ask him. He looks up at me, and then sits down across from me.
Clearing his throat, he looks down again. “My name is Brín, I was ah, wondering… um,” he trails off, his cheeks going red. His demeanor pulls at my heartstrings, and I speak.
“Brín, you may ask me anything you’d like, I won’t be offended. Nor will I hurt you in anyway, you may trust me.” He looks up at me with wide eyes.
“No no, I wasn’t worried about that… I.. I.. just I... I was wondering if you may check and see where my mate is? It’s been getting very hard not being able to find her, and I just…” I cut him off but grabbing ahold of his hand.
My vision goes black as I focus on what I want and that is for him to find his mate. I hear a gasp but for some reason I cannot focus on it. Brín tries to break my hold on his hand, but by instinct I grip tighter, not letting him go.
Chapter 5
The Mark
Niamh
A warmth fills my entire body and instinctively I push that warmth out after basking in it for a moment. I hear another loud gasp, followed by many more and after a few minutes but what seemed like hours, my grip loosens on Brín.
I pop my eyes open and see that every pack member is staring at me. Cillian rushes over to where Brín and I are sitting and hesitates before grabbing my hand.
"Niamh, are you alright?" He asks me.
I nod at him. "I'm fine" I pause, looking over at Brín. "Are you alright?" I ask him. He clears his throat and nods at me
"Yes, I am, but I have a mark on my left wrist and its burning… what does that mean?" He asks me. I take a deep breath but before I can respond, Fergus speaks up.
"My boy, that burning sensation in the mark is like a tether. The closer you are to your mate it will lessen and she should have the same mark on her left wrist. The burning will not stop until you find her, and it will start to burn hotter until you start searching," Fergus tells him.
Brín looks over at me and then back to Fergus with eyes wide. Then he looks down to the ground. “I can’t go looking myself…” he trails off. I cut him off before he can say anything else.
“I’ll go with you,” I tell him. He jerks his head up and looks me straight in the eyes. I can see the hope shining in the them, and it pierces my heart like an arrow flying through the forest after its intended target.
“You’d do that?” he whispers, the shock showing on his face and in the tone of his voice. I smile at him and place my hand over his. “I would love to help you Brín,” I tell him.
The next thing I know, I’m rewarded with the brightest smile I have ever seen. “Thank you so much,” He gets up immediately and I know I’m not going to get any sleep tonight because he looks like he’s ready to go now.
I chuckle and stand up myself, but since Cillian runs this pack, we have to get approval first. I look over at Cillian still standing next to me holding my hand. I frown at the sight.
I forgot he had grabbed my hand. I remove my hand from his, but make sure that its not noticable by his pack.. Well my pack now too i suppose. After processing that thought in my mind, I clear my throat and turn fully towards Cillian.
“Would that be an issue?” I ask him politely, even though it grinds at my nerves to still have to cower down to another Alpha. Anger rises to the surface unbidden and I forcefully shove it back down in my mind and stomp on it to keep it there.
Cillian narrows his eyes at me, as if he can see that I was having a hard time controlling my temper. But in a blink, his face is once more impassive. Again I’m questioning if I even saw the look on his face, but no one questions it or brings it up so I bite my tongue to keep from asking those questions.
He looks over at Brín, then at me once again before clearing his throat and nodding his consent. Then he speaks.
“But you will take at least 2 of our guards with you. I would come with you to help of course, but I must stay here and take care of the Pack.” he informs me. I nod, and then look over at Brín once more.
“Go pack a few things into a backpack. We don’t know where she is, or how long it will take, but we don’t need to lug around a suitcase. Just necessities, then I’ll meet you in front of the Pack house. Sound good?”
Brín nods at me with a big goofy grin on his face, and takes off outside of the barn. I turn back to Cillian, and go to speak. But I stop before I even get a word out of my mouth. The look on his face has me feeling something I can’t necessarily describe, besides the anger I can see clearly.
“Talk with me outside for a moment would you please Niamh?” he asks me. Oh shit, that doesn’t sound good. I shake my head to clear myself of my thoughts and follow him out of the barn into the cool night air.
It brushes against my skin, and all of a sudden I am acutely aware of the heat that Cillian puts off. Again, liquid heat fills my body until I feel like I can’t breathe, and the need I have… That both my wolf and I have.. Fills me in its entirety and I can’t help but feel the forceful shiver that crawls down my back.
He comes to a stop quite a ways away from the barn, and I realize immediately he wanted to have a private discussion with me with no prying ears to hear what he has to say.
For some unknown reason, my body fills with fear at that fact and it courses and ping pongs repeatedly in my brain. Back and forth. I clear my throat and go to ask what he needed but he beats me to it.
“I don’t want you two going alone.. We don’t know where his mate is, or what Pack she is in. I want you to take Galvin with you,” i go to tell him that we will be fine but he grabs my hand, and the electricity flowing through my veins at our contact has me snapping my mouth shut.
“Please Niamh, take him with you… if not to ease my mind… Then to have better protection for Brín.” I let out a sigh, knowing that he’s right. I can defend and protect myself just fine… But both Brín and myself? That's a stretch depending on what we could get attacked by.
“Alright, I’ll take Galvin with us. For Brín’s safety.” I tell him. He gives me a nod and if it weren’t for the squeeze he gave my hand, I wouldn't of known how relieved he was.
He truly feels he has to keep his emotions in at all times…. Then again, I know what that feels like. Feeling like keeping all my emotions bottled and shoved down would keep me safe… I could attest that this method did not work. It only made it worse.
I debated for a moment on whether or not to squeeze his hand back but before I can make a choice, he leans down and kisses my cheek. His lips linger there, and the longer they stay pressed against my skin the longer the electricity courses through my veins and my blood boils.
My wolf whimpers in my mind, wanting to be with his wolf so badly that her sorrow cuts through my heart and I lean over gasping. “Niamh? Are you alright?” Cillian asks me. I can’t answer him, because I’m gasping for breath feeling her sorrow is like an arrow pierced through my heart, carving it into pieces.
But he thinks it has something to do with my stab wound, because he immediately gathers me in his arms and rushes me to my room. The hallways blur by in a faze and the next thing i know, i’m being laid down on my mind.
“Niamh, I need to know if you are comfortable with me touching you skin to skin…” he trails off. I can’t respond, my wolf has me so deep in her sorrow that she starts to push forward, taking over my body. I can’t even feel the change before its taken over me completely.
I feel a howl rip through my body. She wants the mating to happen so badly… She can feel his wolf wants the same. I look up through my wolf’s eyes and see his glowing amber. My wolf howls again, trying to bring his wolf forth.
“Niamh, I have enough strength to keep him at bay, but the longer your wolf howls in pain needing us, the harder it's going to get to kee
p him there… You need to decide whether or not you want him to come forth and mate with your wolf… If you decide that, then I will let him. But if i do that, we will be forever connected.” he tells me through gritted teeth.
I can’t see past her sorrow… and my own. I have been fighting this since the moment I got here and every day for the past 3 weeks. It’s been cutting deep into her soul and mine, and it's been tearing us apart.
I may not know him very well.. But I do know that he is a good man. I cannot let fear keep running my life, and even though this man in front of me drives me nuts with his demands half the time, he does what he thinks is good for his Pack.
I cannot fault him for that, nor can I keep denying what is right in front of me. But despite my wolf’s demand that i mate him right now, something in my gut is telling me that right now is not the right time for us to mate.
Chapter 6
Memories
Niamh
