I texted a response blindly. I was sure to read it back later and regret it, but if the only weapons I had were words, I wanted to aim for his heart and make them hurt. It was petty, but it made me feel at least slightly better.
ME: I’m not a perfect person, but I deserved better than this. I shouldn’t be as surprised as I am, but I actually believed the bullshit you spun to me about it being us against the world. Lose my number. I don’t ever what to hear from you again.
As tears flooded my vision, I blocked his number and navigated through the aisles to the front door. I don’t know how I made it back to the apartment complex without wrapping my car around a pole, but I did. Sheer will, I supposed. All those late nights driving an ambulance, high on adrenaline must have paid off.
An indeterminable amount of time later, I found myself in the shower, the cold spray beating down on my naked body and hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I didn’t know a person could hurt so much. It felt like I was dying, except there was nothing I knew in my repertoire of life-saving skills that could resuscitate me.
I don’t know how long I sat there, wallowing in the self-pity. It could have been minutes, but it felt like years. The water began to run cold, although I could barely feel it. My brain seemed to have disconnected from my body. It was probably a good thing. The flashes of pain that radiated down to the marrow of my bones were almost too much to handle.
I’d never believed in broken hearts. Get over it, I’d think to myself when friends of mine would go through a break up. Even when Liam and Charlie or Layla and Dash had split, granted for a short time, I didn’t think it would be so bad. They’d gotten back together, after all. I’d been with Chris so long, it had never occurred to me what would happen when we broke up. Not even when things started to get so rocky a couple months ago.
More fool me.
My laugh echoed off the dingy subway tiles and I peeled myself out of the tub to turn off the water. My hair matted to my head, but I couldn’t find the energy to care. Any concern aside from surviving had leaked out of me in the torrent of tears and seeped down the drain.
The twins still had another couple hours at school. Mom was probably off with whatever bum she’d hooked up with over the weekend, and my father, who didn’t seem to care who she slept with, was no doubt glued to a barstool down the road at his favorite haunt.
I was alone.
I doubled over as the implication stabbed through me.
I was alone.
I had my family, but they were more of a responsibility. I’d get through this for them. I had my friends, but they had their own lives and I didn’t want to burden them, not yet. It wasn’t in my nature to lean on others. I provided for my family, worked myself to the bone without any help from my deadbeat parents. I would survive this, even if it didn’t feel like it at the moment.
For now, it felt like the pain encapsulated everything, blotted out my surroundings and contracted until I was only the dull ache in my chest. I staggered to my bedroom, a towel wrapped loosely around my body and water dripping from my saturated hair onto the worn wood floors. I didn’t care. I couldn’t scrounge up the energy to do more than throw myself onto the bed and pull the mussed covers around me.
My phone was hauntingly silent, which only made the tears fall harder. There were no social media notifications. No emails. I knew, somewhere deep down in my soul, he wouldn’t try reaching out that way.
He’d found someone else.
I’d supported him through his father’s death the year before. When he didn’t think he could pass his finals after the funeral, I stayed up after two double shifts and helping the twins through a stomach virus to quiz him. For his birthday, I’d driven down and taken him to his favorite restaurant, even though I was barely making enough money to pay rent and support my sisters.
I would have done anything for him.
I did do anything for him.
Was that where I went wrong? Had I made it too easy? Was I one of those women who got boring in a relationship because I wasn’t exciting or sexy enough?
My thoughts spiraled down a black hole, and I covered my face with a pillow until I’d cried myself dry. I must have dozed off at times because a sudden realization would jerk me awake, then it would start all over again.
One day, I told myself. I’d give him one day of upsetting; then I’d push it away, bury it deep, and never think of this—or him—again.
It was wishful thinking, considering we’d been together for a long time, but the thought of feeling this way forever tempted to give way to a despair so all-encompassing, I was afraid I wouldn’t survive it.
The front door slammed and pattering feet bounded into the apartment. The twins were home. I shot to my feet and winced as a headache throbbed insistently behind my eyes.
“Ember!” one of them called.
“Shh!” said the other. “What if she’s sleeping?”
The first scoffed. “She’s never sleeping.”
It made me laugh. They always made me laugh. Raising them should have never fallen on my shoulders, but they were the lights of my life. The sound of their innocent debate drew me from the shelter of blankets, and I glanced at my phone to find it blinking 3:24 p.m. I must have fallen asleep after my crying jag.
“Do you think we should check on her? What if she’s sick?” the second asked.
“Maybe we should get the therbombiter, Tillie.” Which meant it was Molly speaking.
“Do you know how to use it?” Molly asked with clear interest.
“Sure, all you do is stick it in her mouth and push the button. I’ll get it from the medicine cabinet. You get a glass of water and the throw-up bowl in case she’s stomach sick.”
Matilda Leanne was the oldest of my twin sisters—by a whole twenty minutes. It may as well have been twenty years for how she bossed around her younger sister, Molly Elizabeth.
The patter of their feet echoed down the hall and I decided to wait for them to return to see what they would do. Besides, I didn’t have the energy to get back to my feet quite yet. As I contemplated getting up, I heard them return.
“You knock, Tillie,” Molly said.
“No, you knock,” Tillie replied.
“You always tell me what to do,” Molly whined, but it was followed by a rapping sound.
“Ember are you ‘kay? It’s us.”
My face felt like I’d been repeatedly punched as I smiled and raised my voice to say, “Come in.” I wiped away any evidence of tears and tried in vain to straighten my hair and look like I hadn’t been crying for hours.
Two orange-headed girls of six bounded in my room. Tillie’s curls were soft waves that floated around her shoulders. Molly’s were tight ringlets that bounced with each step. They were terrors and the lights of my life.
“We brought you some water and a therbombiter. Are you sick?” Tillie asked as she sat on the side of the bed. Molly climbed up and around to my other side.
“Just a little tired,” I said, edging around the truth. “The water will help.”
I took the glass Molly offered, amazed she hadn’t spilled it in her climb up. The water was tepid, but wet, and after crying oceans I felt like a wrung-out rag. I was probably a little dehydrated.
The girls stared at me expectantly. “Thank you, babies,” I said with a squeeze. “This is perfect. Do you have homework?”
Tillie wagged her finger at me, and Molly giggled. “No work until you feel better. You always let us watch TV when we don’t feel good.”
I didn’t have it in me to argue. Homework could wait. I pulled the girls close, sighing as their little bodies fitted into my side.
Who needed a man when I had them?
DEAR READER
Thank you so much for getting to know Layla and Dash!
I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading this book as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you did, I would greatly appreciate a short review on Amazon or your retailer. Reviews are crucial for any author, and even jus
t a line or two can make a huge difference.
I look forward to reading your thoughts!
XOXO,
Nicole
* * *
Also in the Series:
Frenemies (Layla & Dash)
Friends with Benefits (Tripp & Ember)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book, like so many of its predecessors, wouldn’t have been possible without some very patient and supportive people.
To my Knockouts. You have put up with my flighty butt for years on end. You’ve supported me through everything. Your enthusiasm and patience has meant the world to me. This one is absolutely for you!
To my daughter. I’ve spent the last week chained to my computer to finish this book. It meant time away from you. Time I won’t get back. I don’t take that lightly. I hope you know everything I do is for you, and I hope you understand how much you mean to me.
To Alana. I continue to be grateful for your helping hand and your sympathetic ear.
To each and every blogger who helps spread the word. Thank you for your tireless dedication and unwavering support!
Thank you to Octopi Covers for your amazing design work on this series. These books continue to remain some of my favorite covers.
Thank you Karen Hrdlicka from Barren Acres Editing for being the best a girl could ask for!
To Melissa Fisher, Cindy Camp, Vera Green, Michell Hall Casper, Terry Lawrence, Rhonda Brant, and Jessica Layos Nielson. I can’t thank you enough for beta reading Frenemies from the ground up. I’d be lost without you.
Last but not least, thank you to each and every one of you for reading!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nicole Blanchard is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of gritty romantic suspense and heartwarming new adult romance. She and her family reside in the south along with their two spunky Boston Terriers, two chatty cats, and a hamster with a Houdini problem. Visit her website www.authornicoleblanchard.com for more information or to subscribe to her newsletter for updates on sales and new releases.
ALSO BY NICOLE BLANCHARD
First to Fight Series
Anchor
Warrior
Survivor
Savior
Honor
Box Set: Books 1-5
Traitor
Operator
Aviator
Captor
Protector
* * *
Friend Zone Series
Friend Zone
Frenemies
Friends with Benefits
* * *
The Lost Planet Series
The Forgotten Commander
The Vanished Specialist
The Mad Lieutenant
* * *
Immortals Ever After Series
Deal with a Dragon
Vow to a Vampire
Fated to a Fae King
* * *
Dark Romance
Toxic
Fatal
* * *
Standalone Novellas
Bear with Me
Darkest Desires
Mechanical Hearts
Table of Contents
Cover
Full Page Image
Copyright
Contents
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Ninteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Epilogue
Friends with Benefits - Chapter One
Dear Reader
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by Nicole Blanchard
Frenemies Page 19
