by Arizona Tape
What had happened? Why were they so violent, so angry? Was this really the same Darren that had admired a stray winter flower?
I wanted to back away from this lunatic that I didn't know but was reminded again of the body pressed against me. I turned my head and was met with a set of yellow eyes. Cece.
"They want to hurt me, Akira. Don't let them," she whimpered, looking like a scared child.
Again I turned towards my mate. "Ashleigh! Please?"
This time, she did look at me and in her eyes, I found a vulnerability and a helplessness I hadn't expected. She looked pained and I could tell from her gaze that she wanted to help me, but couldn't.
Why not?
"Kill her."
Another surge of power flooded over me as I suddenly realised what was going on. Aspen. As a natural born Alpha, he was controlling the group. Controlling their moods, controlling their actions. Controlling them.
So was this the real power of the Alpha?
I took another moment to admire Aspen in all his glory. So this was his real face. The man behind the cheeky boy. He was grand, majestic, nothing less than utterly magnificent. And also completely terrifying.
Nails dug into my skin brought my head back as I was reminded again what was going on. I couldn't give in. To anybody. Not even to Aspen.
"Aspen," I called out to him, catching his gaze. His amber eyes almost blackened as they bore straight into me, making my wolf jump up in longing. Mate.
"Please..." I begged, hoping that even if my wolf couldn't get through to Ashleigh, she was strong enough to sway Aspen.
Another timeless second passed as we just stared at each other. And then a twinkle flickered through his eyes as they lightened up, returning back to the familiar amber hue.
Darren's arm fell down as he stopped dead in his tracks, no longer approaching or threatening us with his knife. A heavy tension left my body and I could almost feel the group collectively sigh. The Alpha had retreated.
"Only this once. For you," Aspen growled from behind his gritted teeth. And with those words, he turned on his heels and disappeared into the cave.
I glanced at the rest of the group, wondering if this was an invitation for Cece... For Chesca, to stay with us. Danny shook her head at me and JP threw me a disappointed look, as they followed their leader into the cave. A lump appeared in my throat as I could feel another kind of tension settle onto the group and I already cursed at myself for bringing Cece here. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't brought her here...
But then again, she was already here and if there was one thing I had learned from growing up in my household, was that being shunned was never the answer. That just because people tell you to stay away from someone, that you should. Growing up lonely and exiled had taught me to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Cece deserved that same right.
I pointed towards the cave, inviting the Puma in, part of me wondering if they would kill her in her sleep and if she'd even still want to stay with us. I could imagine this wasn't the warmest welcome.
She flashed a carefree smile at me like she hadn't just been threatened. She had shrugged off the event like people pressed knives against her throat on a daily basis and somehow, I felt that might have been true.
The girl skipped into the cave, apparently not worried one bit about the murderous intent hanging in the group. I was ready to join her, but then I felt a warm hand on my arm.
"Be careful. She isn't as innocent as she appears to be."
I stared at Ashleigh's hand and then at her face. Her blue eyes were piercing into mine with concern, but for some reason, it made anger bubble up in my stomach. I shrugged her hand away, still utterly disappointed she hadn't stuck up for me and without another word, I turned my back towards her.
If my wolf was strong enough to pull Aspen out of his Alpha state, why hadn't hers reacted the same way?
I couldn't help but feel a huge wave of disappointment wash over me as I realised being mated wasn't enough. It didn't mean you'd get that instant bond Danny seemed to have with not just Regan, but all three of her lovers.
It also meant I could choose Aspen.
But then my wolf stirred and I couldn't help but look at the beautiful woman standing next to me, looking utterly defeated.
On queue, she met my gaze as her glacier blue eyes pierced into mine. And all thoughts I had about Aspen were washed away with her oceans.
Why would I choose Aspen if Ashleigh was right here?
I had heard about the power of the Alpha before. Almost none were born anymore and those who were, almost always immediately grabbed power. A stray Alpha like Aspen was a true rarity and as his mate, I couldn't imagine the pull he had on people. The only thing I knew was that his Alpha was strong enough to challenge the bond with my first mate.
And with that thought, I suddenly felt almost guilty for being so harsh to her. She wasn't the only one who wavered in the Alpha's presence. My wolf did as well. Every time he unleashed his raw power, my wolf was drawn to him, ready to forget all about Ashleigh. If he had this effect on me, I shouldn't judge her for the pull he had on her wolf. It wasn't fair of me to expect impossible things from her.
I let out a deep sigh, not liking one bit how my wolf seemed to keep getting pulled back and forth between the twins. They had already made it perfectly clear they wouldn't be sharing me. But the way it was going, I wouldn't be able to be with either of them.
As long as Ashleigh was around, my wolf would never be able to choose Aspen. But I also realised that with Aspen's Alpha around, he could make me forget about his sister.
Unless I mated with either of them, they would always tear me and my wolf apart.
But how to choose?
I thought about the two twins, marvelling at how uniquely beautiful they both were. Aspen with his muscled chest, his handsome smirk and his witty comments, he certainly was a charmer.
But then there was Ashleigh. At first glance, she was just as high-tempered as her brother, but the longer I knew her, the clearer it became it was all just a game. The real her was much softer, gentler. Quieter. There was an unrivalled depth to her that made me breathless. Speechless.
He was wild and loud like the waves of the ocean crashing against the cliffs. She was like a mysterious, undisturbed lake, deep and bottomless.
Aspen felt like a gust of wind, an unexpected tornado with limitless reserves of energy. Powerful. Destructive. Frightening. He was, in every way, the storm.
Ashleigh was his opposite. She wasn't destructive or aggressive. Not really. She was the protector, the care giver. She was the mountain braving any kind of weather, bowing to no one, no matter how loud the wind howled or how relentlessly the rain threatened. She would shield me from the storm.
Aspen or Ashleigh.
What did I need? Who did I want?
I peered deep into the cave, catching the frown on Aspen's face. It made him look dark, angry and freakishly handsome. Then I directed my gaze towards the forest, gazing at Ashleigh. The wind was playing with her curls and the saddened look in her eyes made me ache. She looked so hurt, so disappointed, all I wanted to do was comfort her.
Aspen was exciting. Ashleigh was grounded. He could make me feel high on life. She would make me feel safe. Cared for. Loved. She could be the home I had never had. She would be.
Ashleigh... Of course, Ashleigh.
"I'll be in in a second, okay?" I told Cece, knowing I couldn't leave things like this with Ashleigh. The young girl happily nodded and skipped inside, unfazed by the killer mood hanging in the air.
I took a deep breath and gathered myself, ready to face my mate.
"Hey..." I softly whispered into the night, drawing her attention.
"Hi..." she muttered back, a sad smile playing around her cherry red lips.
"You, umm... You okay?"
Ashleigh tilted her head. "Ehmm... I'm not sure..." she slowly said, her eyebrows furrowed.
I placed a hand on her
lower arm, sparks shooting through my body. Yes, definitely Ashleigh.
"I'm sorry..." I apologised, earning a surprised look.
"For what?"
"For being so harsh... For expecting too much from you?"
She briefly smiled, but it never reached her eyes. "I don't understand why I couldn't do a thing... I should've been able to..." she muttered, disappointment clear in her voice.
"It's okay..."
"Is it? What if next time you're the one in danger and I can't help you?" she growled, her hands balling into fists. As if it hadn't been clear before, she was probably beating herself up over this. Nothing I said would've made her feel worse than she already felt.
Just knowing that, knowing she thought she had let me down, filled my chest with a warmth I hadn't felt before.
She cared. She genuinely cared. She barely knew me, but it didn't matter. She wasn't torn between two people, scaling qualities, gauging who was the better fit. For her, I was the one and only. I had always been. I knew I was.
I recalled how she always stared at me, always lingering in the background, one eye on me, on eye on her own task. How she was always watching out for me, making sure I was okay.
Why hadn't I realised that before? Before all this, before my disapproving look...
She was the one. My mate. Of course, it was her.
And as this realisation flashed through me, another thought quickly followed. Now that I knew she was the only one I truly wanted, I couldn't screw it up. And that thought, it terrified me.
Before, I had the luxury of two people wanting me and me wanting two people. If it went wrong with one of them, I could just gravitate to the other. Like a real coward.
But I didn't want to be a coward anymore. I wanted to do this right. I wanted to be the mate that Ashleigh deserved. And I would prove I was just as perfect for her as she was for me.
Ashleigh. Of course, Ashleigh.
Mine.
I placed both my hands on top of hers, gently pushing them open as I intertwined my fingers with hers. "If I were in danger, you'd come through."
"What if I won't?"
"You will."
She snorted sarcastically, pulling her hands out of mine. Ouch, that stung.
"You're probably better off with Aspen," she scoffed, her head turning to the side as she refused to meet my gaze.
Hell no. Just when I had made up my mind and decided to go hundred percent for her, she was wavering? I wouldn't let her.
I grabbed her hands again, refusing to let her give into the doubt.
"Look at me."
Ashleigh pretended like she couldn't hear me, so I gently squeezed her hands. "Look at me," I asked again, my voice much softer.
Slowly, she turned her head, finally meeting my gaze. Her beautiful blues that were usually filled with sparks, were now brimming with sadness. Disappointment, regret, and guilt were all swirling around in them and just looking at her, made me ache for her.
Knowing I could be so affected by her emotions by just staring into her eyes, I knew I had chosen right.
Mate.
"I want you," I spoke, my voice surprisingly strong and unwavering. With Aspen deep inside the cave, things were all so much clearer. How had I been so confused before?
Ashleigh stared back at me, studying my expression, probably searching for any hesitation. When she couldn't find any, she asked in a small voice: "Why me?"
“You’re my mate," I said, quite surprised. Why not her?
"So is he," she argued, her face falling at the thought of me being with her brother.
"I don't want him."
"Then you’re the first," she bitterly spat out as her gaze fell back to the ground.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
She chuckled, but nothing about it sounded cheerful. "I was born thirteen minutes after my brother. Thirteen minutes was all it took for him to have a headstart on me for life."
I silently waited for her to elaborate, not wanting to ruin the moment.
"My family has had a one-child policy for as far back as we go. There have never been twins in any of our lines before. I wasn't wanted."
Ashleigh bit her lip as her eyes glazed over. "My parents loved me, of course, they did. They always tried to treat me the same way. And don't get me wrong, I love my brother. I love him to bits. He was always the one sticking up for me, trying to make me feel equal."
Another silence befell us. I patiently stared at her, knowing this wasn't the end of the story. But when she kept quiet, I tried to catch her gaze again.
"But?" I asked, gently encouraging her to keep going.
"But... Besides being the first-born, Aspen is an Alpha as well... As much as he loathes having that kind of power, he can't control it. Not well. Not always. And I can't blame him for it. He is first, he will always be first."
I frowned my brows as I hadn't realised how insecure Ashleigh felt about her relationship with her brother. Whenever they fought or bickered, it always seemed like she had the upper hand.
She snorted, briefly shaking her head. "I have worked my whole life to be better than him. Faster, smarter, stronger. When he is just Aspen, my brother, I am. But when it comes to Alpha Aspen, I will never measure up," she sadly said, like she had read my mind. "This is why he is so aloof and relaxed. He knows he doesn't have to try. Whereas me..."
“You’re you," I quipped in, taking a step closer to her. "And you’re the one I want."
"How can you be sure?"
I placed her hand on my chest, as I drew my wolf to the surface.
Mine. She growled possessively, immediately connecting to the black wolf inside Ashleigh. The dark-haired woman audibly swallowed, before meeting my gaze.
"Thank you," she softly murmured, the corner of her lip tugging up in what was her first real smile since we started our conversation.
"Anytime," I breathed, the world stopping as she pushed a stray lock of hair from my face.
"Do you know how beautiful you’re?" Ashleigh whispered, making my cheeks heat up. Only she would think so.
"Please, you’re the beautiful one here," I smiled back, loving how her eyes lit up. She chuckled briefly, shaking her head in amusement. And as she did, I was suddenly surrounded by the scent of wild strawberries. My favourite.
I bit my bottom lip, trying to contain the smile threatening to break out on my face.
"You really are something else," my dark-haired mate grinned, her thumb still caressing my cheek.
A shadow fell over my face. It took me a second to realise Ashleigh was the one casting it. She was bringing herself closer to me, her lips inching closer and closer.
Was this it? Was she going to kiss me?
I hastily wettened my lips, a nervous jolt jumping through my body. Would we be alone long enough for us to finally? How would it feel like? Was nobody going to interrupt us? No jealous Aspen, no nosey Danny?
Before any more thoughts could run wild through my head, Ashleigh's warm lips found mine.
I stopped. The world stopped.
My wolf exploded in happiness as she rampaged through my chest together with her mate, both howling as they ran after each other.
Ashleigh's soft lips moved against my own, warm, gentle, moist. She did taste like a combination of cherries and wild strawberries and I couldn't help but sigh against her.
How had I managed to go so long without kissing her?
As she nipped at my bottom lip, a shiver shot up my spine as I could feel myself slowly unravel. Perfectly unravel into her.
Of course, Ashleigh. How had I ever had any doubts about that?
Her thumb stroked my cheek once more, before she pulled away, leaving me hopelessly wanting more. She let her forehead rest against mine and for a moment, we just breathed. We breathed each other. And we stood still, in the midst of a silent world. Just her. Just me. Just us.
She was the first who broke the silence. "We should go inside," she murmured, her voice almost disappointed.
I nodded in agreement suddenly noticing how cold my limbs had grown. How long had we been standing here?
With a new-found certainty, we strutted inside the cave, my pinky brushing over the back of her hand. But with every step I took, with every step closer to Aspen, I could feel my resolve waver.
And I couldn't stop it. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn't. As I approached Aspen and was hit with the residue of his Alpha, my wolf grew more and more hesitant.
And I loathed it.
I didn't want to feel this way. I wanted Ashleigh. Only Ashleigh. But Aspen... He called out to me, to my wolf.
Why did I feel this way? Why couldn't I stop it? Did I want to stop it?
I threw a helpless look at Ashleigh, hoping she could help me but was just met with a saddened smile.
"It's okay. That is just how it is," she soberly shrugged, like she hadn't expected anything else.
I opened my mouth to protest, to tell her it wasn't like this, but she had already added herself back to rest who were all getting ready for bed. Like nothing had happened between us, she casually asked Regan how he was feeling, almost deliberately ignoring me.
So much for making my mate feel reassured...
I sat down on my furs and listened to the all too familiar whining from my wolf as she tried to decide between Aspen and Ashleigh. So much for our kiss. Stupid wolf.
I wanted Ashleigh. Why wouldn't my wolf listen to me? I groaned as I let myself fall down in my "bed". Couldn't this night just end? As soon as I hit my furs, I realised just how tired I was. Had all this really happened in one day?
Chapter 10. A nightmare
Completely ready to escape all the turmoil, I happily closed my eyes, ready for sleep. I had almost forgotten about everything that had happened, until I was pulled out of my slumber by a whisper.
"Hey, pssst, Akira."
My eyes fluttered open as I stared at Cece. "What?"
"I’m bored, can we play?"
I shook my head. I was too tired to play. "It's time to sleep..."
"But I’m not tired," she pouted, her yellow eyes shimmering innocently. Of course, she wasn't tired, freaking cat.
"Try to sleep, we can play games tomorrow..."
