“This amnesia you have”—she kept shaking her head as she talked—“it’s not normal.”
Okay, verdict was still out on whether I was a criminal mastermind. That was good. The revelation that my amnesia wasn’t “normal” didn’t really rock my world.
“Is it ever?”
She tapped a shiny pink nail against her lower lip, making a clicking noise. “I’ll get back to you.”
Poof. Zee was gone.
Chapter Twelve
I watched as a buxom blond vampire strolled up to Jerry. It had happened several times tonight already. I knew because I’d been sitting and watching the door for hours. Butch and Leon had already eaten and left, and I still hadn’t had the heart to trick one of them into escorting me. I was going to have to break out alone, and watching Jerry and this girl, I thought I’d found my way.
The female vampire would show Jerry something on her phone, grazing his arm with her cleavage as she did. Accidentally, of course. His eyes would go to the screen, but I didn’t think whatever he saw was the real reason he was smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. She’d tilt her head this way and that, flipping her hair and swinging her hips just so. Her tongue would dart out, wetting her already glossy lips.
I’d seen this play out enough to know I needed to hustle into place, hoping she would follow the same pattern. I made my way around the room, glad everyone was watching the news and not me.
Boom, there went her big move. With a swish of the hips, she sashayed toward the alcove a few feet away. That was all I needed. He watched her every sway. Like a fish nibbling at the bait, she reeled him in until he disappeared into the alcove and I ducked out.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I jogged down and around the corner. The city had pretty much shut down, so grabbing an Uber wasn’t going to be likely, especially here. Plus, there was something weird about this place. I didn’t think it even showed up on a navigation system. It didn’t matter. I’d jog the whole way to the closest explosion scene if I had to.
I’d only made it a block before a trio of young men, all with the color yellow displayed somewhere, approached me. I thought gang colors were blue or red, but I wouldn’t put it past Kane to have his very own gang.
“Do you need help, miss?” one of the three called from across the street.
“I’m fine.” This had to be a trap. Any second, they’d rush over here, grab me, and drag me into a dark alley. I’d be robbed and probably raped, too, unless whatever had broken Kane’s couch decided to burst out of me and break some bones.
“You sure? Do you need a ride or something? You can take my car if you need.” He dug in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He threw them across the street, and they skidded to a stop at my feet.
“That’s my car,” he said, pointing to a small blue Toyota, the only car on the street.
I stared at the keys like they were a snake at my feet. Then back to the guy who’d thrown them. Something didn’t make sense here, or did it? “Why would you give me your car?” I asked, my voice raised enough that I could be clearly heard across the street.
“You’re the boss’s chick, right?”
I shrugged, not denying it. A ride would really come in handy. “I don’t want your car, but I could use a ride.” I picked up the keys and tossed them back at him. I hadn’t driven in years, and I had no intention of banging up his car.
The tires screeched as the guys left me a block away from the location of the first explosion. I walked up the block to the building, which was now a charred shell in the center of a deserted block. I understood why everyone had moved out and in a hurry. It was hard to conjure up warm, cozy feelings of home sweet home when a monster had obliterated the building next door. I had a desire to run as well, but I couldn’t afford to. There was nowhere safe for me to run. If these memory lapses had something to do with the explosions, I needed to know.
I ran my hand along the blackened building, not sure what I was looking for but hoping I’d find it anyway. There had to be something. I circled the perimeter and walked along until I was in the backyard. A swing set stood empty, only the breeze setting the empty seats to swaying. I knew there’d been deaths, but I’d tried to not listen to the head count. Now I couldn’t help but wonder how many.
And why? What was the point of this?
The back entrance stood gaping open, the door scattered twenty feet away, as if it had been blown as easy as a playing card. The interior was even worse, like I’d stepped into the diseased belly of the beast. Everything was charred, the ground cracked and creaking under my feet as I walked upon the indistinguishable remnants of people’s lives.
I’d knelt down, pushing a fallen piece of wood aside to see what lay beneath, when I saw a silhouette standing on the other side of the room. He was in front of one of the many blown-out windows, the moon at his back, casting his face and body in shadows. But even in the shadows, I recognized Kane. I froze, knowing how this could look, digging around in the ruins of the explosion after sneaking out of the Underground.
He wasn’t moving. Did that mean he wasn’t thinking the worst of me? Or was he not in the mood to murder tonight? Maybe he didn’t like to exert that kind of energy until he’d had a good meal or something? I ignored him and continued to move around the room, refusing to act guilty.
“What are you looking for?” He took a couple of steps forward and leaned a shoulder against a metal support stud.
“I don’t know. Clues? Considering I’m a Shadow Walker, I’ve got every right to check this place out myself.” I kept picking around the debris, waiting for the shoe to drop. Any second he’d lay into me about how I’d snuck out and come here alone. Then I’d tell him he was arrogant and bossy, and voila, I’d end up homeless, in a cell, or dead. Couldn’t quite put my finger on the ending yet.
“How did you know where I was?” I’d left the phone he’d given me in the apartment.
“I’ve got surveillance all around the building. You can’t leave without me knowing.” His voice was calm and he hadn’t moved from his spot. “Are you almost done? I’ll drive you back.”
“Just a few more minutes.” That was it? He was really going to let this drop? No harassment? No accusations? I kept my head down as I kicked debris this way and that with my foot, waiting. Surely he wouldn’t make it that easy.
I swiped my shoe over another spot, not so much looking anymore, but buying time. The shock of how easy he was being was still probably plastered on my face, and I didn’t want him to reconsider.
That was when a glimpse of shiny metal, one I recognized instantly, caught a ray of moonlight and gleamed. I stepped on it immediately, realizing how awkward my movement looked after the fact. I wasn’t going to look at Kane and see if he noticed. I’d act normal and walk out as if I hadn’t seen anything.
Except for one problem.
Kane walked over and stopped in front of me. “What’s under your foot?”
His jaw was squared as he stared hard, waiting for an answer. He might’ve been willing to let my earlier duplicity go, but there was no way he’d let this go. It was as good as lifting my fingerprints from the bomb.
“Nothing.” It was a waste to lie, but panic seized me. As soon as I moved, he’d see. And that look in his eyes—it wasn’t mourning I saw this time, but betrayal.
“Move. Your. Foot.”
“Kane…” I had nothing left to say. There was no defense. I’d been here. The phone put me here. I dropped my eyes, staring at my feet and his. I was a monster. There was no other explanation.
He didn’t ask me to move again. His hands went to my waist, picked me up and then turned, so I was a couple of feet away.
He knelt down where I’d been standing, and, clearer now than it had been when I’d stepped on it, was my crushed phone. I took a couple more steps away from him, wondering if I should start running for my life.
He lifted the phone from the debris and stood back up, the phone, dented and a third of it miss
ing, between us.
“Explain how this got here.”
He wasn’t screaming, or raging, but I wasn’t delusional. I knew I might be a breath away from death. Right now, if I were him, I might have skipped the questions and gone right to the killing. People had died. Crawlers were loose in the city. I’d been here, and the picture was looking pretty grim.
“Talk,” he said softly, but with straining patience.
I didn’t know if he wanted me to give him an excuse or an admission. I had neither. All I had was a bone-aching sadness that I’d had some part in this.
“I don’t remember anything from the other night, nothing after I left the Underground. I have no memory until you showed up.” My voice cracked as I spoke.
“Are you saying you had another blackout and you’re telling me now?” He leaned forward, his gaze intent.
I could hear the disbelief, but I didn’t know if it was that he thought I remembered or that I hadn’t told him.
Tears started to pour down my cheeks, and not from fear. I didn’t know what was happening anymore. Chunks of time disappeared. Crawlers were coming in, and I might be the reason why. People dead, and it might be my fault. Who was this person I was becoming?
“Don’t fucking cry. Just tell me what you know.”
“I am! I don’t remember anything.” I ran my sleeve across my face, trying to get the tears to stop, but they wouldn’t. He made a growling sound, but that didn’t stop the tears either. I couldn’t get control of myself.
“You said you went to bed early. Those were your words. You lied. Now you say you can’t remember?”
“How was I going to tell you? Look at you. You’re ready to kill me.” And that was the worst part of it all. I barely knew this man, but the way he was looking at me was tearing me apart. Why did I care if he thought I was a murderer and betrayer? We were nothing to each other. I’d made that clear. So why did his look of distrust eviscerate me, every—single—time?
He took a few steps away, giving me his back. With the destroyed phone in one hand, his free hand ran through his hair. With his back still to me, both his hands now at his sides, he said, “If it were only that fucking easy.”
He was still, but I wasn’t delusional. He looked about to explode.
“If you want to kill me then do it,” I yelled at his still back. It was ludicrous to tempt him, but I couldn’t stop this overwhelming feeling of betrayal that was rising up and choking me.
He said nothing, his back still to me. I turned, finding a half wall that was still intact and sitting on it, feeling a numbness settle over me even as the tears kept rolling down my face. I bent forward at the waist, burying my face in my filthy hands that had dug through debris as I tried to regain control of myself.
I didn’t realize he’d come back toward me until I saw his shoes in front of me. I didn’t move. Just sat there as broken looking as I felt.
“You tell no one about this.”
What? That had me jerking my face in his direction. It was the last thing I’d expected to hear. I would’ve been less shocked if he’d whipped out a gun and shot me.
“No one. Not even Butch or Leon.” He stared me down until I nodded.
He grabbed my arm, pulling me upward and toward the door. He was shuffling me into the passenger side of his truck. “Don’t come back here alone. I don’t want anyone to see you roaming around explosion sites. It raises suspicions.”
I reached out, stopping him before he shut the door. “Why?”
Instead of pushing my hand away, he answered, “I can’t kill you, and I won’t let anyone else do it, either. You say nothing and you lie low. Is that understood?”
I nodded, feeling the heat of his hands as he tucked me in before he shut the door.
Chilly night air hit as he got into the driver’s seat, and then we were on our way. I didn’t say anything else. Wasn’t sure I could hold it together enough to converse at that point. Everything I’d feared looked to be true. I focused on the scenery as I tried to force myself to stop crying. I was like a leaky faucet that couldn’t be turned off.
We couldn’t have gone more than a few miles before he pulled the truck over to the side of the road. Had he changed his mind? Had he decided he should kill me after all? I didn’t even know if I had any fight left in me, not if I’d caused those explosions. I kept my gaze toward the outside, but I knew he was looking at me.
“We can’t go back while you’re like this.” The words were spoken through a clenched jaw, as if he were more upset about tonight’s revelations than I was.
I nodded, knowing he was right but afraid that if I spoke, my voice would crack. I knew the damn sniffles were still giving me away, though.
“I told you, I won’t let anyone kill you.” His voice was softer, but I could still hear the impatience.
I shook my head. “That’s not it.” I sounded just as bad as I’d feared. I shouldn’t have spoken.
“Then what?” He leaned closer.
“Do you think I did it?” I turned, realizing his face was only a foot from mine. For some unexplainable reason, knowing what he thought, him believing I wasn’t the cause, felt like a lifeline to my sanity.
His eyes seemed to absorb the pain I was feeling, and his lids shuttered lower.
I knew what his verdict was before he spoke.
“I don’t know,” he said, and I knew that was a kindness. Because his eyes had told me he did think I’d done it.
I tried to not make a sound, but as I took a breath, my body was racked with shudders. I leaned forward, breaking eye contact before that look in his eyes added to my undoing.
I felt Kane’s hand rub my back, but the kindness made the shuddering worse, as if unlocking all that was vulnerable inside me. His hands went to my waist, and he lifted me until I was cradled against his chest, strong arms encircling me when I would’ve moved. The intimacy nearly undid me.
“Ollie, relax.” His hand rubbed my back again.
When he said my name like that, I could hear the history in his tone. History I’d lost and was beginning to wish I hadn’t.
Kane’s phone vibrated in his pocket, but he ignored it. Then it buzzed again. And again.
He reached for it as I shifted off him, the phone call doing little to smother the awkwardness of the moment.
He hit answer and asked, “What?” He listened silently for a moment before he said, “I’ll be there shortly.” He hung up and turned to me. “There’s been another explosion.”
I didn’t know whether to cry or sigh in relief. At least whatever had happened this time, it wasn’t me.
Chapter Thirteen
I was leaning back in the booth, my legs stretched out and my feet hanging over the edge. Leon occupied the other side in nearly the same position I was in, a plate of half-eaten nachos between us. We’d been sitting like this for the past hour, along with the rest of the people in the Underground as we watched the latest news on the big screen.
The first day I’d been in the Underground, the place had been pumping music so loud you felt the bass thrumming through you, and the vibration buzzed your feet. Now the main noise that filled the place was the terrified voices of the reporters as the news went from one location to the next. After Butch had called last night, there had been two more explosions in Boston.
Had to give the reporters credit for showing up for work and not beating feet out of there, like half the population had. Actually, it might’ve been more like three-quarters. It was hard to keep count between the cars, trains, buses, and planes.
I saw Leon shaking his head out of the corner of my eye as the flames lit the screen.
“I can’t believe they blew up more places,” he said softly, still in shock over the whole thing. “I’ve seen a lot of shit, been so deep that I thought was going to choke on it sometimes, but I never saw something like this.”
I bent a knee and used it as an armrest, glued to the horror that was playing out. They were interviewing a teenage bo
y that had seen one of the crawlers from the latest explosion. “Why? What is the purpose? Do they get off on the destruction or something?” I asked. It just didn’t make any sense. Even monsters must have motives. But as horrible as it was, I couldn’t stop the feeling of relief. Three explosions and I hadn’t blacked out or disappeared for any of them.
Leon didn’t answer my question, but asked his own. “And so random. Sometimes it’s homes; sometimes it’s stores. How is anyone supposed to figure out why?”
That was all anyone was doing. Asking questions, as they stumbled around like confused zombies muttering, why, why, and there wasn’t one person that seemed to have any answers. Not the shifters or the vampires or the fairies, or Kane, whatever he was.
If the music had been playing as loud as it normally did, and we weren’t all news junkies today, no one would’ve heard the scream of surprise that rang through the room. It took a minute for me to locate the source, but as all eyes were turned toward the main door, it was pretty easy to spot where the problem was.
Jerry was stumbling away from his post, his back to us.
“Jerry?” Leon called.
Jerry turned toward his name, his face saying it all. Something very bad was heading this way.
Jerry raised his hand and pointed in the direction of the door. “It’s one of them. It’s a crawler.”
Everyone seemed to make the same choice at once, and instantly. Scream first and then run in the opposite direction of the monster. The most impressive people did both at the same time.
I yanked my stray foot inside the booth as the wild stampede went past, knowing they’d break my ankle if it got in their way. I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t running with the horde, except I guessed I was the only Shadow Walker. If this was anyone’s wheel house, it was mine, right? I was the only possible captain of this ship.
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