The sun was warm on my skin as I stepped outside, looking for the crawler. It was waiting for me about fifty yards away. It turned the corner once it saw me following it.
I’d followed it for a mile or so when it finally disappeared. I stood waiting for a few seconds before Harg stepped out from behind a building, the air shimmering beside him. The Glass Monster was there.
I continued forward until I was standing in front of Harg. “Why are you here?”
He bowed his head. “We have a deal to offer.”
Deal? Did they know where Kane was? “What?”
“Heal you, but you let more of us in, many more, and now.”
I was shaking my head and stepping back before I even said, “No.” There was no way I’d do that, not for my memories, not for anything in this world.
“Must,” Harg said, following me. Magic was pumping into the area, and I knew it was from the Glass Monster. “We show you.”
“I don’t care what you show me.”
I turned, hoping I’d be able to leave, because I’d made a gigantic mistake. I shouldn’t have come here at all. What had I been thinking? My gut clearly sucked at decision making.
I ran a few steps and the Glass Monster was in front of me. A wave of his hand and I didn’t see the street anymore.
In front of me was a portal, with crawlers coming out. Collin was standing there as they passed into this world. It took me a few seconds to notice a girl’s body lay straddling the opening, lifeless as she was being trampled by crawlers as they walked over her.
Holy shit. Collin was Shadow Man.
I turned to find Harg right beside me. For the first time in my life, I willingly grabbed a crawler. “Stop them! Those are your people!”
“Not ours.”
“You’re warring among your own?” It was a civil war.
He nodded. “Must go now or both worlds lost.”
“Are you the one who saved me?” I froze, my hands dropping as pieces finally started to fall into place. He didn’t answer right away. “When they took me, did you save me?”
“They killing. I fought.” He bowed again.
Just as the sixth crawler had fought through when I’d brought the others in. He’d pushed through and saved me.
Harg beat his chest. “Both times.”
He’d gotten me away from them both times?
“Must go!” he said. “Now!”
Collin was letting them in at this very moment. That hadn’t been in the past. It was going on right now.
What the hell did I do? “I can’t go without—”
“Must.”
“I need an anchor!” I dug my phone out and fumbled as I dialed. It went to voice mail. “Kane, dammit, where are you? When you get this, you need to track my phone and come to me immediately.”
Harg latched on to my arm. “No more time. They have new. We must go!”
It was all so clear now. Collin hadn’t been able to use me, but they must’ve found another Shadow Walker. He wasn’t messing around this time. He would bring as many crawlers through as he could.
This was bad. So bad that I didn’t have time to waste. I either went now or this might be beyond hope. Boston might be gone before Kane answered. We couldn’t kill one crawler here. What would we do with the amount Collin had flooded in?
“You’ll get rid of the ones coming in?” I asked, knowing we didn’t have much time. But if that wasn’t the plan, we were lost anyway.
Harg nodded.
“Let’s go.”
The Glass Monster moved closer until it seemed to move into the very space I stood, enfolding me in itself. Everything blurred and then darkened until I was standing in the same cemetery that Collin was in, but far on the other side.
The crowd of crawlers all turned toward us, along with Collin. He waved them toward us, and we were down to seconds before they were on us.
Harg opened a portal right beside me, and bellowed, “In.”
He didn’t have to. The horde of crawlers shook the ground as I inserted my leg and arm into the opening, leaving my head out. Without Kane by my side to ground me to this world, I felt the pressure to be pulled completely into theirs. I stood, straddling both worlds, hoping I wasn’t dooming ours, wondering if I’d end up like the other Shadow Walker I’d seen. If I’d already sealed my fate.
Crawlers appeared on every side, surrounding us, too many to count. Collin was behind them somewhere, but I couldn’t see him. All I saw was crawlers.
Fire headed directly for me but Harg let out his own, canceling it out. It backed off the smaller crawlers, but probably not for long.
Then ours started running through. They had been waiting on the other side, and poured out, flying past me, at times pushing me in their haste.
It was only moments later that the entire place was in a blaze, as if I were in the heart of a volcano. It was as if the world was on fire. Harg’s army had been ready.
Harg never left my side, torching every creature that neared. But even if the flames didn’t kill me, the fight to straddle both worlds was draining me quickly. I felt as if I were barely hanging on as I stood in the center of it all.
The pressure to be pulled through to the other side was growing, or my grip on this world was weakening. I fell to my knees, feeling like I was going to be torn in two if I didn’t relinquish to the pull.
Kane burst through what looked like a wall of fire, charred and blackened, without a stitch of clothing left. Then he was there with me, wrapping his arms around my arm and neck, every part of me he could to ground me to our world as more and more crawlers continued to pour out.
“Close,” Harg yelled.
Kane pulled me out and to the other side, and I sat there on the ground, wrapped in his arms, surrounded by dying fires as Harg’s crawlers finished up the rest of his enemies. I could still see part of the Shadowlands, though, as if the portal struggled to close with so many escaping.
As I watched, the transparent shape of the Glass Monster walked across the landscape. He never turned to me, but stopped where I could see a vague outline of his two-legged form. The creature’s chest expanded and then released a fire to end all fires, filling the Shadowland landscape as far as I could see in nothing but flames.
There was one way to kill a crawler. The flames of another crawler. It was killing all its enemies.
“It was a civil war after all,” I said as I watched. “They had to get their people out so they could nuke the enemy.”
I watched on, and then the Glass Monster shrank until it was the size of a small bunny. It looked back through the opening of the portal at me and stared for a moment, before hopping off.
I started to struggle to my feet. “The other Shadow Walker? They have another one here.”
Kane held me to him. “She’s dead. I saw her body as I passed.”
“It was Collin this whole time,” I said, sagging into him, my back against Kane’s chest.
“I know.”
“How?”
“Because I was interrogating Vincent. He told me about Collin, and that he’d struck a deal with Frederickson.”
“Collin was here.”
“He’s no longer a problem.”
“Do I want to see?”
“Not much to see.” Kane pointed in the direction of one of the many piles of ashes still burning out around us. “He was being cooked while you were still half in the portal.”
“Is Vincent alive?”
There was a pause. “Mostly, but only because he healed you. That might change by tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve gone with you.”
“Because I didn’t want you to have to. I’ve put you through enough.”
I stayed like that, limp in Kane’s arms, as Harg’s creatures continued to char the rest of the crawlers left behind. Like a military patrol of old, they moved around the area checking bodies for signs of life, charring anything that twitched.
Slowly, as
all the fires died, Harg stepped in front of us.
He bowed slowly and then said, “I’ll hunt and then I return home.”
I nodded. He’d round up any creatures that had escaped and go back. That was his only reason for being here in the first place. To empty out the Shadowlands until there was nothing left but his enemies. And then the Glass Monster had taken care of those.
“Last thing.” Harg pointed toward where the portal had finally closed. The Glass Monster was there. It took a deep breath and, like the first time, a warm breeze washed over me.
Kane’s arms circled me as I let out a soft breath.
“Ollie?” Kane asked, having probably felt something too.
I couldn’t speak, though. They flooded back, memories so thick that I couldn’t believe I’d ever lost them.
How had he not trusted me? Now that I remembered, I understood. We’d been a team. He’d become my best friend, not just some guy I’d fallen for.
I pulled from his arms and turned to him, searching for the words to ask him why.
“You remember.” It was bittersweet, and he knew it. I could hear it in his voice.
I’d remembered all the good times, and they now put the bad times in a harsher light.
“Yes.” I crossed my arms and wrapped them around myself. “I still don’t remember the missing week, or the night of the explosions. I remember everything else.”
He looked at me the way he had right after I’d lost my memory, as if he were mourning my loss, and now it all made sense. And I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Whether I wanted to comfort him or rail at him.
“Can I help you back? You can rest until you figure out what you want to do.”
I nodded. He knew what I was feeling, had guessed at it. Knew I might leave again, and this time it might be for good.
The hurt was so thick that I didn’t know if he was entirely wrong.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I strolled into Kane’s office the next morning, not bothering to knock. I hadn’t seen him since I’d gotten back yesterday, and he hadn’t pushed. He’d given me my space. But it was time.
Butch and Leon were standing beside the Keurig, fighting over a single French vanilla, when I stepped inside. They both turned at the same time.
“Is it true?” Butch asked.
I’d thought of all sorts of ways to break it to them. But there was really only one way that did it justice.
“Still alive,” I said, with a huge smile on my face even as a tear ran down my cheek.
I could see the trepidation on their faces as they both paused. Leon spoke first. “Really still alive? Are you faking?”
“Really still alive.”
“She’s still alive,” Butch said with a voice that matched my teary eyes.
“She is. She’s still alive,” Leon added, then turned and hugged Butch. “She’s back. Our girl is back.”
“I am. I really am.” I watched them hug each other. “And why aren’t you hugging me?”
They turned and nearly plowed me over, including me in their hug, all of us laughing.
And then Kane walked in and the mood shifted suddenly, tension falling over all of us as he stood looking on.
“We gotta go get French vanilla, you fuck,” Butch said to Leon, hitting him in the arm.
“I know. I’m a total ass. Completely used them all up,” Leon agreed.
They both stuttered out goodbyes, shutting the door as they left.
Kane and I stood across the room from each other.
“I want you to know, you have no one left to worry about. I took care of Frederickson this morning,” he said.
I let out a soft breath. That was good to know. “Thank you. Did you find out how they got a crawler out in the first place?”
“Once I stopped recruiting Shadow Walkers, Collin continued. He managed to use one to get a single crawler through. That started everything. Apparently, just as you can get shadow magic, you’re also very susceptible to it.”
“Frederickson told you this?” I asked.
“It took a while, but yes.”
“Do you have a few more minutes to talk?” I asked.
“Of course,” he said, the expression on his face nearly killing me.
I waved toward his chair behind the desk. “Maybe you could sit?”
He did, accommodating my request like a man that thought I was about to sentence him to life in prison.
I headed toward the chair but then walked around to Kane’s side of the desk and perched on the corner, similar to what he’d done so many times.
“You know, I was really mad— No. That’s not true. I wasn’t mad. I was hurt.”
Kane looked at the floor for a minute before he met my gaze and said, “I know.”
I could see him grip the arms of the chair, as if he wanted to reach out to me but wouldn’t.
I nodded, swallowing the lump still in my throat. “But it got me to thinking.”
He leaned back, watching me, not even a whisper of the arrogance he normally had showing.
“Do you…” I let out a soft laugh before I could finish, thinking back on what I was going to say.
“What?”
“Do you remember when I asked you if you were the devil?” I couldn’t stop smiling at the notion. I’d really thought it was a possibility. I wasn’t completely wrong.
“Yes. I believe the Rolling Stones prompted the question.” He smiled, but it didn’t hold much joy.
“I can’t put all the blame on them.” I angled my legs a little bit closer to him as I crossed them. His eyes took in the movement.
“The thing is, even then, whether I admitted it or not, I was falling for you. If you had turned to me and said you were the devil, I doubt it would have mattered.”
His lips softened a little but I wasn’t sure if he knew exactly where I was going with this yet.
“So, when I lost my memory, I know things didn’t look good—”
“I should’ve known,” he said, as if he’d been saying it over and over to himself.
“Agreed. I think you should’ve known too. You knew me.” He really had. Then the reality of how bad it looked set in, and how I’d turned from him and rejected him. If he’d turned from me like that, not even wanting to hear about what we had or willing to think it over, I wasn’t sure how rational I would’ve been either. I might’ve treated him like he was a stranger too, as if I hadn’t known him at all, because that might have been the only thing that would’ve saved me from an emotional hell.
But even then, when he’d thought the worst of me, and I’d wondered the worst of myself, he’d wanted me. Just as I’d wanted him, even when I wasn’t sure what might’ve been lurking beneath.
I took a deep breath and continued. “You know how when we were in the building after the explosion and you saw my phone?”
“Of course. And I’m—”
I leaned forward, putting my fingers softly to his lips, the way he had to mine in the Underground that day. I knew he was going to say he was sorry or that he should’ve known. But I didn’t need to hear it again.
“Just hear me out.” I moved my hand to his shoulder as I got off the desk and closed the distance between us. I bent one leg, moving to straddle his lap and resting both hands on his shoulders. He reached out to balance my hips as I did, his expression showing a glimmer of hope. “When we were in that building, and you saw my phone, proof I’d been there, I was terrified.”
He reached up, cupping my face as he listened. He didn’t try to speak, but I saw the sorrow, the regret in his eyes.
“But I wasn’t afraid of you hurting me. Even then, when I was thinking the worst of myself, I didn’t think you’d ever really hurt me. I did think maybe you’d turn your back on me, and for some reason, that was the hardest hurt to bear.
“But you didn’t turn me away. You protected me. You still wanted me. You accepted me in spite of it. You thought I might be the devil and you still wanted me, just as I
had wanted you. The way I still want you.”
His hands tensed around my body as his eyes burned my soul. “Are you done?” he asked.
It wasn’t sarcastic. It was genuine.
I nodded, and he threaded his hand through my hair, and when he kissed me, I didn’t need to hear anything else. It was all there in his touch. All the sorrow of what we’d gone through, the anguish of his guilt, and the passion of his possession, because I was his and he was mine.
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Also by Donna Augustine
Ollie wit
A Step into the Dark
Walking in the Dark
The Keepers
The Keepers
Keepers and Killers
Shattered
Redemption
Karma
Karma
Jinxed
Fated
Dead Ink
The Wilds
The Wilds
The Hunt
The Dead
The Magic
Acknowledgments
I’m pretty lucky that my list of people to thank is so long. Camillia J., Christine J., Tammy K., Lori H., Ashleigh M., Donna T. and Lisa A., without your help, this wouldn’t be the book it is.
(The exact level of book this is I’m leaving open to you, the readers, to determine. If you determine it’s bad, there were a lot of hands in this cookie jar. Just saying.)
If you’ve read my books, and I’m assuming if you’ve gotten this far you have, you’ll know that I might be kidding about what I wrote in the parantheses. If you don’t know that I’m kidding, you probably haven’t made it this far. I probably offended you before the second chapter and we're safe!
Kissed by the Dark Page 22
