“Maybe his way of doing things wouldn’t work in Pennsylvania. I mean, they’re a different breed down there.” She shrugged. “It takes a certain kind of hardiness to live in Maine.”
They smiled. Survivors of Maine’s unforgiving and unending winters.
“It’s not for everyone,” Riley agreed. She pushed her hair back. “I appreciate you trying, but we both know without Ben I’m never going to be able to do what my dad expects.”
Audrey fingered the folders in her hand. “Then maybe it’s time you stopped trying.”
Riley stared at her. Stop trying to please her dad? But she worked for his company. She planned to run it someday. “I can’t. I might as well quit today and find a new job. He’s not just my dad, he’s my boss.”
“It doesn’t matter what he is. You can’t do impossible things for him.” Audrey wrapped her arms around the folders and held them close to her chest. “I’m not trying to tell you to rebel against your dad. Of course, you can’t do that. But every time he tells you to do something, no matter how impossible, you kill yourself trying to impress him.” Audrey’s eyes softened. Her voice lowered. “He never appreciates it, just acts like that’s what he expected.”
Riley’s mind reeled. In today’s world, it was perfectly acceptable to thumb one’s nose at one’s parents. That didn’t make it right. She couldn’t do it, although it was difficult to put words as to why. “That’s what makes me feel so good—like Dad knows I can do it and doesn’t expect anything less from me. I wouldn’t be as good as I am if it weren’t for his high expectations.”
“I just thought you might be tired of trying to meet those high expectations. Especially when he doesn’t appreciate you. Also, when you need other people to uproot their lives so you don’t disappoint your dad....”
Riley sighed and walked to her window, looking out on the closed garage bay. “You’re definitely right about that. I can’t expect other people to help me meet Dad’s unreasonable expectations.” She turned. “I didn’t ask you to come.” She gave Audrey a meaningful look. “And I offered Ben a huge promotion. It’s not like he was giving up a good job and salary to work for peanuts while I built an empire for my dad.”
Audrey looked down at the ground. “You’re right. I...” She paused. “I just know you made at least one life-changing mistake because of what your dad thought, and building his business, was more important than...making a life for yourself.” Audrey looked Riley square in the eye. “You don’t have a life. One day you might regret that.”
Audrey was almost certainly talking about what happened with Ben years ago. It was over and done with. Why did it seem like it was haunting her?
Although she was right on more counts, too. Her friend circle had grown smaller and smaller, until she was closer to the people she saw at work than she was with any actual friends. She just didn’t have time. There were always reports to compile, data to analyze, employee issues to supervise.
Sure, she had people in place to do all those things, but as the person in charge, she needed to keep her finger in everything. Which she did. Only Ben had free rein to do whatever he wanted. She’d never told him that, but he’d probably figured it out by now. Whatever he decided, she supported. Still, she knew exactly what was going on in the shop. Because she answered to her dad for everything.
She didn’t socialize with coworkers, because she was the boss.
Audrey was the closest thing she had to a friend anymore.
She let out a breath and brushed off the front of her skirt. “If that bothers you so much, you should be happy that I asked Ben to move to Pennsylvania with me.”
No surprise flickered across Audrey’s face. So, office gossip had made the rounds.
Audrey’s finger flicked the edge of the folders she held. “Rumor has it that Ben wants to start his own company. Maybe you’d be better off letting someone else take your place and helping him start a business. You said yourself you two make a great team.”
A little shot of excitement pinched in her chest. Ben and she could build a successful business. She was sure of it. She pursed her lips. “Problem is, Ben didn’t ask me.” She allowed a small, meaningful pause. “I did ask him. He said no.”
“Maybe Ben needs the past resolved,” Audrey said softly.
“I tried. He wouldn’t listen.”
“Maybe you should make him.”
She loved Audrey, and she’d miss her. Miss having someone so close to her who wasn’t afraid to speak her mind and didn’t hold it against Riley that sometimes she was an idiot. But it did get tiring having one’s conscience in one’s face all the time.
“I think it’s just best if we let that go. I’m leaving. He’s not. And right now, my biggest problem is that I need someone as good as Ben to be my shop manager.”
Audrey held out the folders. “I went through several employment portals last night. Nationwide. I printed off pertinent info. One folder for each prospect.”
Riley took the folders. The ball in her chest eased slightly. “Thanks so much.”
Audrey didn’t let go of the folders right away. She waited for Riley to look at her. “But you’re not going to find someone like Ben. And I’m not just talking about an employee.”
Riley’s heart had to agree with that. She squeezed the folders tighter than necessary. “He hates me.”
“There’s a fine line between love and hate.”
~~~
“Heard the boss lady was packing up and heading to the BS terminal.” Danny slapped the hood of the truck Ben stood beside, up to his elbows in rods and pistons.
“Hmm.” Ben kept his head down, focused on working in the tight space without pinching his fingers any more than necessary.
“Hope they don’t hire a jerk to take her place.”
Ben grunted. His wrench slipped off, the grease making it difficult to get a solid hold. He tried again.
“She pretty much lets us do whatever we want. Heck, if we worked at any other shop, you’d be sitting on your little throne, watching us minions work.”
Ben stopped and looked at Danny. “Versus this one where you sit on the throne and watch me work?” He pulled a lip back, not sure how effective his expression was with all the grease that had to be on his face.
Danny laughed but walked on. “I can take a hint, Bossman. I’ve already changed a rear and a turbo today.”
“You get that tranny pulled out before twelve, and lunch is on me.” Ben smiled to himself. Danny could do it, but he’d not be able to stop and talk the rest of the morning.
“It’ll be done,” he called from the other side of the shop. “You better get your big pocketbook out.”
Ben laughed, knowing Danny would probably just want hot dogs from the corner gas station. He’d want to go get them, too, because he thought the cashier was cute.
The other two guys in the shop joined in, teasing that Ben used hundred-dollar bills as toilet paper. After a couple more shouted challenges and insults, things settled down and the guys were putting a push on to see who’d get the most done before lunch.
Ben set a bolt on the steer tire and reached in to get the other one off. Things were running really well here. He’d done the best job he could do. He’d figured, now that the twins were grown, it was time to move on, but he’d been dragging his feet. Change was hard, but he wasn’t afraid of it.
He knew why he hadn’t moved. She was a hundred yards away in the office across the parking lot. Stupid heart of his fell one time and wouldn’t give up. He hadn’t been able to get it to beat for anyone else, hard as he tried.
Maybe if he stayed here and Riley moved to Pennsylvania, he’d finally be able to get her out of his mind.
Or maybe if he moved to Pennsylvania, they’d finally be able to get past the issue that had lain between them like Antarctica—uncrossable, except for the strongest and most determined person. It’s what he wanted, but he didn’t think he could swallow his pride enough to follow the woman who’d humiliated
him across six states like a lovesick dog.
Chapter 6
Later that week, Ben sat out on the cold porch swing by himself. He leaned against the armrest, one boot propped on the swing, one solid on the floor, pushing slowly. It was still cold but not the frigid cold of a Maine winter. Forty degrees was relative.
The twins had gone out with their friends. He never went to bed until they were home. Yeah, they might be over eighteen and all that, but there was no way he’d be able to sleep until he knew they were safe.
His phone buzzed at his side, and he jumped like he always did, his first thought it was the police. Or the morgue.
One glance at the number had his forehead wrinkling. He didn’t recognize the area code, although it looked familiar.
Two more seconds, then his stomach cramped. He remembered now. It was a Pennsylvania area code, just like Gram’s. Not her number.
He swiped the button before reaching behind him and hooking his hand on the swing chain. With his other hand, he put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”
“Is this Ben Baxter?” The female voice was cultured. Like a rich blue blood.
Not sure why such a woman would be calling him, he answered shortly, “Yeah.”
“This is Cassidy Baxter.”
Baxter. His last name. The woman paused. Ben’s mind raced. His dad had no brothers. But...this could be his...sister-in-law?
He waited.
“I’m married to Torque.”
Torque was the oldest of his three half brothers. His dad had given the three younger boys weird truck names. Occasionally Ben had wondered how he’d escaped that curse, but what he’d found that caused him to run had given him all the answers he needed.
He’d always assumed his brothers would turn out just like their dad, and Ben couldn’t save everyone, so he’d focused on his sisters. His full-blooded sisters. But this woman, Cassidy, had an educated edge to her voice.
“I’m your sister-in-law.”
He rolled his eyes. Maybe she did think he was stupid since he wasn’t saying anything. “I figured. Torque, Tough, and Turbo.” His half brothers. They were always in the back of his mind. Especially since he’d been talking to his gram. She’d never mentioned them other than the one time she’d said Torque was in prison and he’d threatened to hang up if she ever mentioned them again. She’d never made him feel bad for not visiting or having any contact. That hadn’t stopped him from telling the biggest lie of his life to her several years ago.
“That’s right. Tough and Turbo are both married too.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, I’m sure you realize I used the internet to find you. I’ve had your contact information for a while.” Her voice softened. “I know Torque would love to talk to you, but that’s not why I’m calling.”
“Okay.” His little brother would love to talk to him. His little brother, who had been in prison, who was married to this articulate, cultured woman. It made him curious.
“I’m at the hospital. They think Gram had a heart attack last night.”
Ben’s heart rammed to a stop. Guilt that he had never taken his sisters to meet her, never even told them about her, tightened his throat. His boot thudded off the swing onto the porch. The chain cut into his fingers.
Cassidy continued, “She asked for you.” She paused. “She wants to see you. And your wife and sisters.”
Gram. He’d neglected her in favor of his mother and sisters. And now she lay dying in a hospital. He couldn’t swallow the lump in his throat. Guilt.
She wanted to see his sisters. He could do that. His wife? Um...
Lying was never the solution. He could remember his mother saying that on her deathbed as clearly as though she sat on the swing in the dark with him this second. It had been when he’d said he was going to get a job, and he was going to lie on the application and say he was eighteen instead of sixteen. He hadn’t felt he had any other choice, since his dad was gone and his mother was dying. If he hadn’t lied, he wouldn’t have been able to keep his sisters.
The lie to his gram...not as necessary. She’d asked if he’d ever gotten married, and he’d said, “yes.” Stupid, stupid man.
Such a dumb, unnecessary lie. He just didn’t want her to think he was like his dad, moving from woman to woman to woman. A wife and children in one state. A wife and children in another state. At the same time.
There were laws against that. God’s laws. Man’s laws. He wanted to be different. Lying had been a stupid solution.
Cassidy was silent on the other end.
Tell her the truth.
But he didn’t want to admit to lying. And he didn’t want to admit to losing a wife he never had. He’d been worried about his brothers turning out like their dad. Maybe they were worried about the same thing with him. He was the oldest, too. He couldn’t lose face. It would be hard enough to go back and face the family he’d run from. He couldn’t do it from a position of weakness.
Finally Cassidy spoke again. “The doctors aren’t sure how much longer she’ll last. She’s stable, and they’re conducting tests, but it’s touchy.”
Ben leaned his head back, looking up at the porch ceiling. He couldn’t disappoint his gram. His dad had never given two hoots about him. His mother was gone. Gram was the only adult in his family who had ever cared.
But he couldn’t stand to have her find out he’d lied. That he didn’t really have a family, didn’t even have a life, to be honest.
Headlights cut through the night. A car turned slowly into their short drive. The twins were home.
Ben felt like the world was closing in on him.
He had to tell Eve and Eden they had a grandmother who was alive and wanted to see them. He had to admit to his gram he wasn’t married and never had been. And after he’d so bluntly turned down Riley’s offer of a promotion, he needed to ask for extended time off.
Normally he hoarded his vacation like a pack rat, but he’d used it all up for the year this past summer when the twins and he had taken the trip of a lifetime. They’d gone across the country and seen the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, the Pacific Ocean, and a ton of other sights they’d all only dreamed about. It had been the best time ever. But he had zero vacation time left.
Double crap.
“You know what? I don’t know why I even called. This was a total waste of time.” Cassidy’s cultured voice throbbed with irritation. “I’m sorry I bothered you,” she said, not sounding the slightest bit sorry but sounding a lot jacked off.
“Wait,” he said.
She quit talking, but the silence, even over the phone, pulsed with judgment and anger.
“I’m just...surprised. I’ll be down to see Gram.”
“With your family.” The words could have been cut out of diamond, sharp edges and all hardness.
Ben closed his eyes. “With my family.”
Cassidy rattled off the name of the hospital and the room number. “I’ll text it to you,” she added, like she didn’t want to give him any excuses for not showing up.
“Thanks.”
“When should I tell her you’ll be here?”
Car doors slammed. The twins would be out here in less than a minute. He needed to figure out what he was going to tell them. What was he going to tell them?
“Soon.”
“Lovely,” Cassidy said, the one word dripping with sarcasm. Then her voice changed. “I don’t know you or anything about you, but I do know you have three brothers here who would really like to know you and your family.” She paused. “I’ll see you. Soon.”
Then she hung up.
Ben dropped his phone into his lap, stretching both hands behind his head and holding onto the swing chain.
Why had he lied?
What was he going to do about it now?
Chapter 7
Eden walked out on the porch, holding a cup in her hands, followed by Eve.
“Hot tea?” Eden asked.
“No, thanks.” He was anything but cold. Ever since his pho
ne rang, his heart had been pumping like pistons in a freight train.
“You know you don’t have to wait up for us anymore. We’re big girls.” Eve sat down on the chair at the opposite end of the swing. Eden stood, sipping her drink.
“Yeah. I know,” he said without lifting his head. “Have a good night?”
“It was good. Carrie’s fighting with her mother who’s fighting with her two sisters.” Eve laughed. “I guess it’s good we don’t have family. Can’t fight with ’em if you don’t have ’em.”
“Well, about that.” Ben dropped his hands from the swing chain and shifted. He braced his forearms on his knees. “I have a few things to tell you.”
“You decided to take the job in Pennsylvania after all?”
He snorted. That job was the least of his worries. “No.” He swallowed. “But I guess I never mentioned that you have family in Pennsylvania.”
The girls gasped.
Familiar with their brains after so many years together, he spoke before they could attack him with questions. “We have three half brothers, their wives, and a grandmother.”
“No way!”
“You’re kidding.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“‘I guess I never mentioned?’” Eve parroted in a voice dripping with sarcasm and anger.
He ignored their outbursts. Sometimes that was the only way he could deal with them. “Your grandmother is in the hospital. They think she had a heart attack, and she’s stable. They’re doing some testing.”
They were quiet for a bit, adjusting. Maybe back when they were teens, they might have stomped off. Maybe even given him the silent treatment for a while. But thankfully, they’d matured.
He hadn’t been the best parent in the world, had made tons of mistakes. This was probably one of the biggest.
“When a kid has a grandparent, you don’t keep it from them,” Eve said in a tone that indicated this was one of the many areas he’d messed up in as a parent.
Bring Me Back Page 3
