by Lara Lacombe
And after what seemed like an eternity of heartbeats, he did.
The kiss started out soft, a brush of lips that was shy, almost questioning. Quinn seemed to be holding himself back, as if he wasn’t sure how Rebecca would respond to this new overture. She tried to match his low intensity, but her desire for more soon took over. She fisted her hands in the fabric of his shirt, locking his mouth against hers. Warmth shot through her, followed by an effervescent tingling that settled low in her belly. Her head spun as she lost herself in the moment, the feel of Quinn’s kiss overwhelming her body and mind.
Quinn’s need seemed to match her own. His arms tightened around her—they were solid bands that anchored her in place against his chest. He straightened up, bringing her with him until her feet dangled a few inches above the ground. Before she knew what he was doing, he pivoted to deposit her on the hood of her rental car. Her legs parted automatically, and he stepped in as close as the car would allow. She locked her ankles around his knees, further entangling their limbs. She was dimly aware of the fact they were in a public parking lot, but she was too wrapped up in the moment to care.
When Quinn finally pulled back, his breathing was harsh. “Come home with me?” It was part request, part demand. Rebecca could only nod, her lips tingling and her body humming from their kiss. He helped her off the car, then held on to her as her knees wobbled when she tried to stand.
“I’ve got you,” he said softly.
She looked at his face, his brown eyes blazing with desire and heat. But there was more in his gaze—underneath his arousal, she saw tenderness and concern. Her heart flip-flopped in her chest as she realized he truly cared for her. A warmth spread through her limbs that had nothing to do with physical need, and she felt a small jolt in her chest.
Oh, she thought. So that’s what it feels like to fall in love now.
She’d often wondered if she’d ever find love again after Brandon. She’d assumed that if she did, it would be a Big Deal, an earth-shattering moment she’d be able to see coming from a mile away. But Quinn had slipped under her radar, and somehow she’d moved through like and was rapidly approaching something close to love without knowing it was happening.
A small part of her thought she should be worried. They hadn’t known each other for long—could she really be headed for love or was she just experiencing infatuation? Love, her heart answered calmly.
Her brain wanted to argue the point, but her heart refused to engage in a discussion. And her body certainly wasn’t interested in talking right now, not with Quinn looking at her like she was a delectable dessert he couldn’t wait to try. So for once in her life, Rebecca turned off her mind and let her feelings take control.
She slipped her hand into Quinn’s with a smile.
“Let’s go.”
Chapter 9
Quinn unlocked the door to his apartment and stood back so Rebecca could enter first. He caught a whiff of her shampoo as she walked past; the floral scent filled his nose and arousal curled low in his belly.
This is crazy.
The thought had been running through his mind since he’d kissed her in the parking lot. They’d only known each other a few days! But they’d experienced a lot in that short period of time—more than most people shared in years, if ever. And Rebecca didn’t feel like a stranger. There was something about her that fit him, as if she was the puzzle piece he hadn’t realized he was missing. Being around her brought him a sense of peace he hadn’t felt in ages.
In the wake of Ashley’s death, Quinn had often wondered if he would ever be capable of loving another woman, of feeling loved in return. Had his wife been the only one for him?
Now he knew the answer.
Rebecca was special—that was undeniable. And while he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to say the L word just yet, it was only a matter of time before his emotions got the better of his self-preservation.
He followed her into the apartment, locking the door behind them. She had walked into the living room and switched on a lamp, casting a soft glow on the room.
Now that they were alone together, he wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t very well fall on her like a horny teenager, no matter what his body wanted. And it was entirely possible she had changed her mind during the short drive to his apartment. The idea filled him with disappointment, but he would understand if she was having second thoughts.
“Want a drink?” He had a six-pack of beer shoved in the back of his fridge. It was a bit on the older side, but probably still good...
Rebecca shook her head. “You?”
“No, I’m good.” He’d had enough at the bar. If they were really going to take things to the next level tonight, he wanted a clear head.
She sat on the sofa and patted the spot next to her. Quinn joined her, feeling suddenly nervous.
Rebecca’s blue eyes were clear and bright as she looked at him. “Are we crazy?”
The question was so direct and unexpected, Quinn couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe a little.” He shook his head, turning serious. “But this feels right to me.”
Rebecca didn’t respond, so he continued. “If you’re not ready or interested, that’s fine. The last thing I want to do is try to pressure you or cajole you. If we’re going to do this, it has to be because we both want it.”
“I do.” Her voice was soft as she glanced away. “But...”
He waited, giving her time and space to think.
After a few seconds she turned back to face him, her expression so vulnerable it made his heart crack. “I haven’t been with a man since Brandon died. I don’t know how I’m going to react.”
Quinn nodded, understanding perfectly. “If it makes you feel any better, it’s the same for me. Ashley was the last woman I slept with.”
Rebecca’s smile was a little wobbly. “So we’re both rusty.”
“Looks that way.” Acting on impulse, Quinn reached out and took one of her hands, holding it between his own. “Like I said, we don’t have to do this. But if we do, there’s only room for two people in my bed.”
“That’s only fair,” she said.
They were both quiet for a moment, each one lost in thought. Quinn kept waiting to feel a surge of reluctance, expecting that, at any minute, he was going to change his mind. But the sensation never came. The longer he sat next to Rebecca, the more convinced he became that he was doing the right thing.
Ashley was gone. He would always miss her, and a piece of his heart would forever belong to her. But it was time for him to start living again, to stick his neck out and see if he could find happiness with someone else.
“I can’t replace her,” Rebecca said softly.
Quinn smiled, reaching up to push a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t want you to,” he assured her. “You have your own role to fill.” He wasn’t looking for a carbon copy of Ashley. He liked Rebecca because of who she was, not because she fit into the wife-shaped hole in his life.
“I know I’m not the same as Brandon,” he said.
“No,” Rebecca confirmed. “But I don’t want you to be.”
Her assurance lightened his heart. It seemed like they were both on the same page—neither one of them was looking to relive the experiences of their past. Memories were bound to emerge, but Quinn had no intention of getting lost in his own personal history. He owed it to himself—and Rebecca—to be fully present in the now.
“Thank you.” Rebecca brushed his hand with a gentle caress.
“For what?” He was truly puzzled by her gratitude; he hadn’t done anything.
“For understanding.” She looked relieved and in that moment, he realized how worried she’d been.
Quinn inched closer and wrapped his arms around her. He needed to hold her for a moment, to make it clear that while he wanted her body, he wanted her trust more. Sex could wait. He
wasn’t interested in a casual fling; it was more important that they both start out with the same understanding and expectations.
She was content to press her head against his chest, snuggling in with a small sigh. His heart warmed with tenderness as he stroked her hair, enjoying the feel of the soft, silky strands against his skin. The simple act of holding her soothed his soul in ways nothing else could and he closed his eyes, savoring the contact between them.
After a few minutes, Rebecca sat up. “Bathroom,” she whispered. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“Not a chance,” Quinn responded. He watched her walk away, enjoying the sway of her hips as she moved. His heartbeat picked up speed as anticipation flooded his system. He hadn’t felt this potent combination of nerves and excitement since his first time with Ashley. It was yet another sign of how special Rebecca was to him, in case there had been any doubt in his mind.
He moved to the bedroom and kneeled before his bedside table, rummaging in the drawer for protection. He found a few condoms in the back, buried under a couple of books and magazines he’d never gotten around to reading. He studied the crinkled foil wrappers with a critical eye—they didn’t look damaged, but it was clear they hadn’t been treated well. Then he found the date stamped on the package, and his heart sank.
Expired.
Damn.
Maybe they were still good. Some protection had to be better than none, right? But he dismissed the thought immediately. He wasn’t going to take chances with Rebecca, not yet anyway. Neither one of them needed a baby right now.
He heard the bathroom door open and her footsteps sounded in the hall. “Quinn?”
“I’m back here,” he called out. Might as well tell her the news right away.
She poked her head into the bedroom, her questioning expression clearing when she saw the condoms in his hand. “Oh, good,” she said, smiling. “I don’t have any.”
“Don’t celebrate just yet,” he warned. “They’re expired.”
“Oh.” Her face fell, mirroring his own disappointment. Then she looked up, a speculative gleam in her eyes. “I’m actually protected from pregnancy, if that’s your main concern.”
“You are?” His stomach fluttered with hope. He knew he didn’t have any diseases, and he trusted her to be honest with him on that front.
She tilted her head to the side. “I have an IUD. So if you’re okay with that...”
He started nodding before she even finished speaking. “Yes,” he said emphatically. “I trust you.”
Her smile was tender and full of understanding. “I trust you, too,” she said quietly.
He tossed the condoms back into the drawer and rose to his feet. Without a word, he opened his arms. Rebecca walked forward until her chest pressed against his, her eyes locked on him. Moving slowly, Quinn lowered his head. He wanted to give her time to change her mind, even though it would kill him to let her go now.
He needn’t have worried. As soon as their lips met, passion overtook them both. Rebecca’s hands were everywhere, roaming over him, tugging at his clothes. He yanked up the hem of her shirt, needing to feel her skin. They both wanted access to each other’s bodies, but neither wanted to break the kiss. After a few fumbling moments they managed to strip each other, then fell onto the bed, laughing at their clumsiness.
“I’m usually not so uncoordinated,” she said, pulling him down for another kiss.
“No judgment here,” he told her, coming up for air a moment later.
He’d meant to take his time, to go slowly as they explored each other and embarked on this new phase in their relationship. But his arousal quickly overwhelmed his self-control, and based on Rebecca’s eager responses, her excitement matched his own.
Her hips moved restlessly against him, her desire clear. She placed her hands on his shoulders and rolled him over until he was flat on his back. Quinn was happy to let her take the lead; her obvious pleasure only served to heighten his own.
Rebecca threw a leg over his hips, straddling him. Their eyes met as she took him into her body, emotion arcing between them. A wave of tenderness filled him, his heart expanding until he thought it might burst in his chest. She was the woman for him, the one he needed in his life. He’d tried so hard to keep his distance, to guard his heart. But he didn’t have the energy to protect himself any longer. As Rebecca moved over him, her expression was so open he felt he could see into her soul. This was more than just sex for her, too. They were both exposing themselves, opening their hearts to the possibility of love, of a life together.
Quinn didn’t know how they would overcome the obstacles in their path. But as Rebecca smiled down at him, he didn’t care. As long as she was with him, Quinn felt like he could take on the world.
* * *
Rebecca woke to find the room dark. Quinn was a warm weight against her back, his arm snug around her torso. His breath was hot against the nape of her neck, but she didn’t mind.
She smiled as the memories of their encounter filled her thoughts. Her body twinged pleasantly from Quinn’s attentions, a delicious ache settling into her secret places.
Quinn had been a generous and attentive lover, bringing her pleasure before surrendering to his own needs. She’d felt cherished and treasured in his arms, as if she was something precious to him. Their encounter had been more than sex—she’d felt connected to Quinn both body and soul, as if their core selves had met and merged.
She searched her heart, half-expecting to find a kernel of guilt or regret. She hadn’t felt this kind of overwhelming emotion since Brandon; was she betraying his memory by falling for another man?
No, she decided firmly. She wasn’t. Brandon was dead, and while she’d always miss him, she had to go on living. Deep in her heart, she knew he would want her to move on. They’d truly loved each other—Brandon wouldn’t want her to spend the rest of her life mourning a ghost. Falling for Quinn didn’t diminish the love she’d felt for Brandon, or cheapen the bond they’d shared. Quinn was a different man, and her feelings for him had nothing to do with her past.
But what happened now?
The question of their future loomed large in her mind. She lived in Virginia and worked in DC—not exactly a short distance from Big Bend. She might be able to apply for a transfer to the El Paso office, but that was still several hours away from the park. Would Quinn be willing to consider relocating? There were several small parks in Maryland and Virginia. It would be quite different from his time in Yosemite and Big Bend, but perhaps he’d be happy working at a smaller park if it meant they could be together.
Assuming that’s what he wanted. Rebecca didn’t think he was using her for sex—she could tell from the emotions she’d seen swirling in his eyes that last night had been special to him as well. But he might not be ready to commit to a relationship just yet. Given their past history of losses, it was possible he was gun-shy about diving in to something new.
He stirred, finding his way toward consciousness. They clearly had issues to discuss, but her worries could wait. For now, she intended to enjoy the moment.
For however long it lasted.
Chapter 10
The next day...
“Why am I here?”
Rebecca closed the door behind her and rounded the table in the small interrogation room. It was the same place she’d first met Quinn, but while he’d been polite and forthcoming, this man was bristling with agitation.
“I have a few questions to ask,” she said, taking a seat across from him.
The young man eyed her suspiciously. He was a big guy, built like a linebacker. But his partying lifestyle was already starting to take a toll; a soft layer of fat covered his muscles, and his eyes were bloodshot. The skin of his cheeks was pink, a fine web of broken capillaries giving him a look of constant embarrassment. She imagined his liver was already in trouble, if it wasn’t fully pickled
yet.
Peaked in high school, she thought to herself. Football star, maybe even homecoming king. Figured out after graduation that life wasn’t always going to be accolades and roses, and the realization made him angry and frustrated. But instead of channeling those emotions into improving himself and his life, he’d chosen to embrace the victim mentality—his lack of success was someone else’s fault, and always would be.
His friends had been similar. She’d already spoken to the other two guys, who hadn’t given her much. But it was clear this one was the ringleader—whatever he said, they’d probably do.
The question was, had their dissatisfaction turned to murder?
It was possible. Quinn said he’d had several run-ins with this gang, none of them pleasant. If Quinn had tried to enforce park rules, they’d likely taken his words and actions as an insult. Had they built Quinn up in their minds as an enemy to be punished for daring to challenge them? It sounded silly, but people had murdered for less. Emotionally volatile young men like the one before her weren’t exactly known for their self-control.
“This is harassment,” he said, puffing out his chest.
Rebecca smiled pleasantly. “Not quite.”
“I want to leave. Or I want my phone call.” His eyes roamed around the room, reminding her of a tiger pacing a cage. He was edgy, that much was obvious. But why? Did he have something to hide?
“You’re not under arrest,” she said, hoping this news would help calm him. “I just want to talk for a little bit.”
His eyes, small in his large face, landed on her. “Who are you?”
“Rebecca Wade. I’m with the FBI.”
His face drained of color. “A fed?”
“Afraid so. Anything you want to tell me before we get started?”
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again and shook his head.
