He got up and went to the door to meet Gina. “Good morning. I hear you made a couple of trips already this morning without me. What else goes out?”
“I just have a few more boxes. A couple more trips should do it.”
“Is there a place to park a car down there, or should I leave my car in the lane here?”
“There’s a lane down there, but you have to go back out to the road. I’ll show you where it is.”
“Good. Let’s put the last of your things in my car and we’ll drive them down.”
They loaded the car, and he held her car door while she got in. Once they were headed back out of their lane, he praised her. “I was glad to see you were up and ready to start this morning. Apparently you’ve been busy since I left last night.”
“I didn’t sleep well, so I figured I’d get started taking it down.”
“I’m glad there’s a separate lane for the guesthouse. It will give us a little more privacy. This way people visiting your parents won’t have to question whose car is in the drive.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. I don’t know what they would have told them.”
“People don’t need to know anything. That’s why I like that there’s a separate house. No one will have to explain anything to anyone. Of course, you’re free to tell people what you want, but this way no one will have reason to ask any questions you may not want to answer.”
“It would be nice if I didn’t have to tell people until it’s over anyway.”
“You don’t ever have to tell people anything, Gina. If you see people and they ask where you’ve been, you can give them a very generic answer. You can always tell them you’ve been keeping busy, or something similar, and let it go at that.”
“I’ll remember that.” She directed him where to turn into the lane to the guesthouse, and he pulled close to the house. “We’ll get these things in the house, then let’s sit down and talk a little bit before you put them away.”
“Before I put these things up?”
“Yes. I’d like to explain the program and how it works. Then you can take a little time to put your clothes and things away while that new information soaks in. You may have a few questions, and I’ll answer them then. One thing that’s important to remember, Gina, is if you have any questions about anything as we’re going along, it’s very important that you ask.”
She looked confused. “What do you mean?”
He picked a box up and headed for the door. “We’ll be doing a fair amount of talking during this program. If I say anything that you don’t quite understand, or don’t follow, ask me. Don’t just assume it’s not important. You need to understand everything we say and do here.”
“Okay,” she said in a very uncertain way.
True to his word, once all the boxes were in the house, in whichever room she’d directed him to, he steered her to the sofa. They sat down and he took some papers, along with paper and pens from his briefcase. “Let me explain how this works. Feel free to take notes if you want, but you certainly don’t have to. If you have any questions about anything, stop me, okay?”
“Okay. What is there to explain? I thought you just watch and listen, and bust my ass anytime I do something you don’t like.”
He chuckled, but shook his head. “It’s not like that at all, Gina. First we’re going to talk about what your grandfather’s concerns were. I want to make sure you understand why they were concerns on his part, and we’ll talk about how to change them. We’ll go over what is acceptable behavior and what is not acceptable. The spankings come into play when you decide to do something that is not acceptable.”
“When I decide to? Don’t you mean when I do something you don’t like?”
“No, I mean exactly what I said; when you decide to do something that is not acceptable. You see, when you think about it, you decide to do everything you do. So if I tell you something is not acceptable and you understand that, if you do it anyway, that’s a decision you’ve made. This program revolves around consequences. If you make bad decisions and do things that are not acceptable, there are consequences you’ll have to pay. You’ll find that as you start making better decisions, you will have consequences for those, as well, but you’ll like those consequences much better.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if I see a lady struggling with one particular thing, such as her language, when I see her really trying, and she catches herself and changes her choice of words, I tell her I’m proud of her. As she gains more and more control over that language, I’ll treat her to lunch, or we’ll go out for dinner, or something else she’d like. The last lady I worked with loved going to the art museum, so we went there.”
“So you rewarded her?”
“Yes. That’s another word for a consequence for doing well. Like I said, this program revolves around consequences. Do you understand what I’m saying now?”
“Yes, I guess I do.”
“Good. Now, let’s go over your grandfather’s concerns.” He put his notes in front of him, where she could read them, as well, if she wanted. He wanted her to know he wasn’t hiding anything from her. “The first thing on my list is respect. He said you don’t show respect for anyone, and that bothered him.”
“I respect people if they earn my respect.”
“Not according to him. He said you show a lack of respect for your parents, totally ignoring your mother because you know she won’t give in and give you what you want. He said you don’t respect your father or you wouldn’t try to butter him up all the time, which he said you do solely to get what you want from him. But he also said you never respected your teachers in school, and now in college, or the other students.”
“The teachers in school didn’t deserve my respect, nor did the kids. They were so juvenile.”
Paul’s eyebrows shot up. “So in your opinion no one has deserved your respect?”
“I respected my grandfather. And I love my dad.” After a pause she added, “And my mother.”
“Maybe we need to talk about respect and what it is, and what makes someone worthy of it. What is respect, in your opinion?”
“I think respect is earned. It’s like when someone does something really good.”
“Like when parents raise their children and keep them safe? Is that enough to earn their respect?”
“That’s stuff parents just naturally do. Respect is something special. Something like, if they find out what kind of car their child really, really wants and they get that particular car for them. That’s earning their respect, because they took the time and effort to find out what they want and get it.”
“Wow.” Paul was actually speechless. He was quiet several moments, trying to think this one through. Where should he even start?
“What’s wrong? Isn’t that what respect means to you?”
“No, it’s not,” he quickly answered. “Parents who raise their children, teach them right from wrong, and keep them safe definitely have my respect. That’s a lot of hard work. It would be so much easier to be lax, let them figure things out on their own. But those parents who take the time and put the effort in to teach them what’s right and what’s wrong, and watch over them and keep them safe are putting in a lot of time and devotion, and in my mind they deserve a great deal of respect.”
“Maybe. But if they didn’t want to do that, they probably shouldn’t have had kids.”
“Teachers. You said none of your teachers were worthy of your respect. Why not?”
“Why should they? I mean, all they did is their job. They were being paid to teach, and they did. No big deal.”
“You don’t think the fact that they went to college and put forth the effort it takes to finish that and graduate deserves anything at all?”
“It’s what they chose to do. What’s the big deal?”
“Did you go to college and finish a program?”
She was instantly angry. “You know I didn’t.”
“But you do
n’t think someone who did go to college and finish a program deserves any respect for that?”
She shrugged, but didn’t say a word.
“Gina, when we’re talking, I need an answer. Do you think someone who earns a college degree deserves any respect for that?”
“I guess maybe.”
“Let’s talk a little bit more about respect. I have a lot of respect for people. When I see someone drop some money, even if it’s just change, in the red bucket at Christmas time to help the poor I have respect for them.”
“It was probably their change from what they bought, and it was easier to drop it there than put it away. I do that a lot.”
“Well, I guess I don’t have as much respect for people if that’s why they’re giving it. How about, I saw a story on the news last night about a boy at school who saw a bigger boy picking on a smaller boy, and he stepped in and stopped him. I have respect for that boy that stepped in.”
“He was probably bigger than the bully.”
“No, he was about the same size.”
She shrugged. “Then I guess he did a good thing.”
Paul didn’t say anything, but was thinking. He was starting to think Gina was like many of the other ladies he’d worked with. Despite outward appearances, she had low self-esteem. That made sense, since she was used to having everything given to her. But she didn’t want to think well about other people because she didn’t think well about herself. He would work on that, but it bothered him that she didn’t respect many people, and didn’t even seem to want to respect people. This could prove to be a difficult situation to overcome.
He knew she wouldn’t want to hear his thoughts right now, so he tried a more direct approach. “Well, we’ll talk more about respect and what earns it as time goes on, but for right now, you need to know that in this program we show people respect. Not showing respect to people who deserve it is not acceptable.”
“So I need to kiss everyone’s ass?”
“No, you don’t. Let me take a minute right now to tell you cursing is not acceptable in this program, either. You’re a better person than that, and you have a better command of the English language than to use swear words. Now, showing people respect does not mean you have to kiss up to them. It simply means you treat them with a little dignity. Everyone deserves that until they prove otherwise. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“That’s not really a good answer. Are you saying you understand what I’m saying, maybe don’t agree with it, but you understand and accept it, or are you saying you don’t really understand it?”
“I get what you’re saying, and if you say that’s what I need to do, okay.”
Chapter Four
Paul nodded. “Good. Now, something else your grandfather said is that you want and expect everything to be given to you, but you don’t want to work for it.”
“I’m not sure what he means by that. I’ve never had a job, but I was never expected to have a job, so what do you mean I don’t want to work for it? Is he saying I need to go out and get a job?”
“No, he’s not saying that at all. There are many ways you can earn something. When you were in school, if you had a test coming up and studied, if you got an A, you earned it. You earn a college degree by doing the work to pass all the classes.”
She was listening, but didn’t seem to understand, so he tried again. “When you were growing up, if you join 4-H and complete a project, you earn the right to take it to the county fair. When you take your driver’s test, if you pass it you earn the right to drive. Do you see what I’m trying to say?”
“Yes. But what is he saying I have that I didn’t earn?”
“Well, one thing he mentioned is your car. He said your mother thought you should drive her car for a while until you proved you would drive responsibly and take care of a car. But you convinced your father you needed a new car right away, so he bought you one. According to him, your mother had reason to be concerned, because you didn’t take care of it like they thought you should have.”
“I didn’t wreck it or anything.”
“He said you didn’t get the oil changed, or other routine maintenance done, and they had a fairly extensive repair bill because of it.”
“It was only a few hundred dollars. It wasn’t that bad.”
“But the point is, if you would have taken the car in for routine maintenance that repair wouldn’t have been necessary. I have to ask; why didn’t you take your car in for maintenance? Was it a problem with money; you didn’t have the money to pay for an oil change?”
“No, Dad paid for the oil changes and stuff. I just didn’t like taking it in there.”
“Why?”
“There’s nothing to do there. You have to sit in this dirty place and wait.”
“Most people take their Kindle and read, or an IPad and check Facebook or something. Did you ever try something like that?”
“No. It’s just so awful sitting in those places”
“So you didn’t do it?”
“No.”
“How about when it needed repairs? It probably took longer, so you had to wait longer, didn’t you?”
“No. Once there was a problem, Dad took it in. I don’t know how long it took.”
Paul was definitely seeing the problem now. “Your grandfather is saying maybe if you would have had to earn the right to have a new car first, you would have taken better care of it. Do you think he might be right?”
“I wouldn’t have wanted to get the oil changed in Mom’s old car, either. I hate that place.”
“But if you would have known you weren’t getting a new car until you prove you can take care of that one, would you have been more likely to get the maintenance done?”
Her eyes grew, as she considered his words. He could tell that was a new concept to her. “That would have been mean.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I think it would have been mean of Dad to make me wait to get the car I really wanted, and making me do that, on top of it.”
Paul was becoming frustrated. This little lady was pretty as a picture on the outside, but on the inside, she could use a bit of a makeover. Her grandfather was right; she needed to earn something for once in her life. He shook his head, not sure how to even approach it.
“Why are you shaking your head? What did I say?”
“Gina, I have to say, I think your grandfather was right. You expected your father to buy you the new car you wanted as soon as you got your license, and you didn’t feel you had any obligation to do anything but drive it, did you?”
She looked confused. “I had to pass the driver’s test.”
“And that earned you the right to drive on the streets. But what did you do to earn the car?”
“Why would I have to earn a car? I had to wait until I was old enough and had my license. What else should I have to do?”
“But you don’t feel you had any obligation to do anything to earn it, or once you had it, to earn the right to keep it and keep driving it?”
“I don’t understand. I’ve never had to earn the normal things in life before. Why is it so important now?”
“Have you heard the expression, nothing in life is free?”
“Yes, of course. I always assumed that meant someone had to buy it.”
“But it shouldn’t be you who has to buy it?”
“Me? I was in school. I didn’t have any money.”
“Let me share a story with you, and maybe you’ll understand what I’m trying to say. When I was in high school I wanted a car when I was old enough. I got a part-time job after school and worked for two years, saving my money, until I got my license. Then I found a car that I could afford with the money I had saved. It was a used car, a four-year-old Chevy Camaro. I was so proud of that car. I learned to change the oil myself to save money on oil changes, and I washed it twice a week.”
“But it was four years old?”
“Yes. It didn’t matter, though. It was my car. I worked and saved my money for two years, and I was proud of it.
“Did you keep working then?”
“I had to, yes, to afford the gas and repairs, and the insurance.”
“Your parents made you pay for all that?
“Yes, they did. They didn’t have the money to pay for it, but it doesn’t matter. I’m glad I did pay for it. It taught me how good it feels to earn something yourself.”
“Some day when I get a job maybe I’ll understand what you’re saying better. Right now, it’s hard. I mean, I really liked my car. It was the exact one I wanted. I don’t know how I could have liked it any more.”
“So you think it’s perfectly fine for your parents to work hard, and spend enough of the money they earn on things you want? I can’t believe you don’t even feel you owe them a thanks for all the hard work they did to earn the money for everything they bought for you.”
He could tell she was at least thinking about what he said now. At least that was a start. “That’s something we’ll be talking more about. Maybe we’ll work on the concept of earning privileges. For now, let’s move on to something else. Your grandfather says you have a temper that you need to get control of. Do you agree with that?”
“No, not really. I may get upset occasionally, but everybody does. I don’t think I’m worse than anyone else.”
“We’ll watch it and see. Let me tell you quickly, so you know, temper tantrums are definitely not acceptable. They will earn you a spanking, so if you get upset about something, keep that in mind. We can talk about whatever upset you, as long as you discuss it politely. Having a full out tantrum or being rude instead of discussing it politely will earn you a sore bottom.”
“I don’t see that as a problem.”
She fluffed that off so easily, he had to fight back a smile. If her grandfather was concerned about it, he had a feeling it may be a bigger problem than she was willing to admit, but time would tell. “Okay, good. Now, one other thing your grandfather talked to Mr. Jenkins about is that you don’t take responsibility for things. He says nothing is ever your fault, and what really concerned him is that you will lie about something if you think the truth will get you in trouble.”
Gina and Paul (Last Chance Program Book 2) Page 5
