At least not welcome enough for the invitation to be extended long term.
She pauses. “No love from the big brother yet?”
“We’re getting there, but he’s focused on recovering—as he should be. I don’t think this is something we can stick a plaster over and kiss better. It’s going to take time.”
“Probably not. I don’t think bikers wear plasters anyway. Is work okay about you being off this long?”
“They’ve been fairly understanding under the circumstances. I’ve been keeping up with my cases remotely while I’ve been up here, but Brian is handling my workload on the ground. I think Karl wants to hand over completely to him if I’m going to be off for much longer, though. The kids need consistency, and they need someone doing it face-to-face.”
I know I’m only getting such leeway from my boss, Karl, because of who I am, because of my connection to my stepfather, Grant. Usually, I would balk at that, but right now, I’ll take it. I need to be here, and I don’t want to risk my job.
“Shit, P. How much vacation time can you take if you do stay there?”
“I haven’t taken any time off this year yet, so I still have twenty-one days.”
“For the love of… Please tell me you’re not staying at the biker commune for another month nearly. Will the centre even sign off on that?”
I fall silent. I have no idea what my plans are beyond the fact I’m not ready to leave yet, and I don’t understand why that is.
“Piper?” Her voice cracks with warning. “Are you being held there against your will? Smash your palm against the screen if you are.”
This makes me laugh. “No, I’m not. I don’t know what I’m still doing here, though. I just… can’t bring myself to leave yet. Not while we’re making progress.”
“Darling, you can make progress on the weekends. You don’t have to put your life on hold.”
She’s right, of course, but walking away from Josh when we haven’t sorted anything doesn’t feel good. But I don’t want to lose my job, which could be a possibility if I keep this up. Work has been so understanding, probably because Grant funds the education charity I work at through his council work. I know it’s wrong to abuse my status as his stepdaughter, and while I haven’t said anything, I know Karl is only being so understanding because of this.
“No, you’re right. He’s doing better. He’s alert and he has lots of people here to take care of him. I can always come back on the weekends. Besides, I’m sure my parents will notice sooner rather than later that I’m missing.”
The last thing I need is to explain why I’m running around Kingsley with an outlaw motorcycle club.
Cami makes a noise in the back of her throat. “Well, they haven’t noticed so far. They haven’t dropped by or called… nothing.”
I’d like to say I’m surprised by this, but I’m not, although a stab of hurt does lance my chest. My parents don’t give a toss about me. I see them on special occasions—Christmas, birthdays, election campaigns. It’s not unusual to go weeks without seeing them, sometimes not even hearing from them. I’m a prized trophy to get out of the cabinet whenever they need to show me off.
“Are you coming home then?”
I consider this for a moment, then say, “Yes, I suppose it’s time. I’ll visit with Josh today, wrap up things here over the next few days and think about heading back.”
I shift the bags in my hands and almost sigh with relief as the front door of the flat comes into view. I can’t wait to sit down. Next time I want to be healthy, I’ll go for a walk around the block, sans groceries.
“All right, darling. If you need anything let me know.”
As I hang up and move towards the flat, I notice something doesn’t seem quite right. The way the door is sitting on the frame looks… odd. As I get closer, my heart starts to race. The door is open just ever so slightly.
Is someone inside?
Fear grips me.
I can’t go in, but I can’t stay out here either.
Glancing around the street, I can’t see anything untoward, but Jem’s words rattle around my brain about being a target because of being seen with the Club. Not to mention the man who shot Josh still hasn’t been apprehended by the police. Could he have come here to finish off what he started with Josh?
I bite my bottom lip as ice settles in my stomach. Maybe I just forgot to lock it. I’m so exhausted from all the back and forth between here and the hospital. I barely sleep. It wouldn’t be the first time I haven’t locked the door, although I’ve never forgotten to shut it before.
Do I really want to call the police and cause a huge scene over nothing? Besides, calling the police could put me on the radar of a certain councillor. I would have to file a report, give my name and Grant’s team could find out. That would be bad. So far, my stay here has flown under the radar. I’d like to keep it that way.
Placing the grocery bags on the ground, I pull my phone back out of my bag and I scroll through my phone book. I’m grateful Weed insisted I store all these numbers—and a few of the other brothers’—in my phone for emergencies.
I call Weed first, but it rings out with no answer. Crap. I scroll through, looking for an alternative contact. My finger hovers over Logan’s name in my phone book. I’ve met him a few times through Beth, so I don’t feel weird about calling him. Yet, I don’t hit dial. Instead, I find myself scrolling up and pressing connect on his brother’s name.
What the bloody hell am I doing?
I wince as I lift the handset to my ear.
Jem answers on the third ring.
“Hell really must have frozen over, angel, if you’re calling me. To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“Didn’t we talk about the angel thing?” I chastise, my eyes locked on the door.
“You talked, I ignored.”
“Yes, I’m getting that you’re not really that good at listening.”
“I listen. I just chose to ignore you on this one. Although you’ve got more claws than an angel.” He pauses, then says, “As much as I love hearing your voice, I’m sure you didn’t call for a chat, Piper. You don’t like me that much.”
“I don’t like you at all,” I mutter without any heat in my words. It’s also a lie. Strangely, I do like him, and I like him more than I probably should. I find him irritating, but weirdly comforting.
“There’s the Pip, I know and adore.” He sounds amused, but his words make flutters take off in my belly. He adores me? I guess he’s being flippant, but even so, I can’t help but feel a little tingle of pleasure at his words. “Do you want to tell me why you’re calling?”
“I… uh… I have a situation.”
“What kind of situation?”
“I’m probably overreacting. It’s fine. Forget I called.”
“Piper, what’s going on?”
“When I got home, the flat door was open. I probably forgot to lock it, but—”
“Are you safe?” All signs of joking are gone from his voice now.
“I’m outside.”
“There’s a shop across the street, right? Go there. I’ll be with you in five.”
I’m not used to business Jem. I’m used to stupid, joking around Jem. This side of him alarms me a little.
“Jem, I don’t think—”
I realise I’m talking to the dial tone.
Bugger.
With nothing else to do, I put my phone away and grab my groceries. Then I haul my bum over to the shop to wait inside for him, as he demanded.
As I wait, the shop owner keeps shooting me suspicious looks, and why wouldn’t he? I’m hanging out in his store, looking shifty.
I keep my eyes locked on the flat door in case anyone tries to enter or exit, but no one does.
After what feels like an eternity, I hear the rumble of a bike and I see Jem pull up at the kerb opposite. I come out to meet him, clutching my bags with whitened knuckles.
“You said the door’s open?” He’s off the bike by the t
ime I reach him, his head also free from him helmet.
“Yeah. I probably left it open, Jem.” I try to reassure him as I place the bags on the ground by my feet, but he doesn’t look comforted by my words.
“Just wait here,” he orders.
I reach for his arm as panic stirs in my guts. “You can’t go in there alone.”
I assumed he’d bring backup, one of his brothers maybe. I didn’t expect him to come here like the Lone Ranger.
“I’ll be fine. Wait here.”
“Jem…”
He gives me a smile. “Don’t worry about me, Pip. I’m tougher than I look.”
He looks fierce, and the set of his jaw, the tightness of his mouth tells me he’s also pissed off.
His eyes soften slightly as he takes me in. “Are you all right?”
I meet his gaze before lowering my eyes, cringing. “I feel stupid calling you.”
“Hey, the last thing you should feel is stupid. I’m glad you called. You should always call any time you think something is wrong, do you hear?”
When I don’t answer right away, he places two fingers under my chin and lifts it, forcing me to look at him.
“Do you hear?” he repeats, his expression so serious, I nod.
“I’m sure it’s nothing, Jem.”
“Well, it’s better to be safe.” He glances over his shoulder towards the flat before bringing his attention back to me. “Let me go and check it out. Wait here.”
I can’t stop from reaching out and gripping his arms as fingers claw around my heart.
“Please be careful.”
“Always.”
I watch him approach the flat cautiously. Then he pushes the door that leads into the flat with his foot. He pauses for a moment before he disappears inside. My heart rate goes through the roof as the minutes drag by. My feet itch with the need to move, to follow him, but I stay rooted to the pavement.
After what feels like eternity, he finally re-emerges and my pulse begins to return to a normal beat when I see he looks unharmed.
“Well?” I ask as he approaches me, brushing his hair back from his face.
“Nothing looks disturbed. There’s no sign anyone tried to break in. Come and see if anything’s been taken.”
I reach for the grocery bags, but he grabs them. “I can manage it, Jem.”
“I know.”
“But you’re going to carry them anyway,” I surmise.
“Yeah. Go on inside.”
He lifts the bags I struggled with like they weigh nothing, his other hand coming to the small of my back to steer me towards the flat. I pause in the doorway and he gives me a nudge.
“It’s safe, Piper. I checked it.”
I swallow, and step inside. The flat is quiet, still, but nothing looks out of place considering the door was open and has been open at least the entire time I’ve been out shopping.
Sliding my handbag onto the kitchen counter, I rest my palms on the top and let out a breath. My face burns as I tip my head away from him. I want to crawl into a hole and hide.
“I’m so sorry calling you out like this.”
“Don’t be daft,” he says, placing the bags next to me. “You’re scared about anything, Piper, you call. I don’t care what time of night or day it is, you fucking call, you hear?”
“I mustn’t have pulled the door properly closed when I left for the supermarket.” My fingers go into my hair, my voice sounding ragged. “I’m just so tired. I can’t think straight.”
“You need to sleep.”
“I can’t.”
“This running backward and forward between here and the hospital nonstop, it’s no good. Look, we all see what you’re doing and how much you clearly love your brother, but you’re running yourself into the ground.”
I make an indelicate snuffling sound in the back of my throat. “You thought I hated Josh when I first came here.” I give Jem a wry, tired smile. If I wasn’t so exhausted, I might have guarded my words, but my filters are broken.
“I never thought you hated Wade, angel. I thought you hated the Club.”
Pushing off the counter, I toe my boots off and barefoot, I move into the kitchen and grab the kettle. I need caffeine if I’m going to stay awake.
“I did. I told you, you took my brother from me.”
Jem leans a hip against the breakfast bar. “And do you still think that?”
“I think wild horses couldn’t make my brother do anything he doesn’t want to do. If there is one thing I’ve learnt in the time I’ve been here, it’s that Joshua Wade is the most stubborn man on the planet. If he’s here, it’s because he wants to be.”
“I told you as much when you arrived.”
I reach for two mugs from the cupboard. The least I can do is caffeinate Jem after dragging him down here, but one of the cups slips and in slow motion hits the counter, obliterating into a thousand pieces across the surface and the floor below.
My throat clogs. Oh my God. What is wrong with me?
“Don’t move, I’ll clean it up.” Jem pauses. “Does Wade have shit to clean it up?”
“Under the sink. There’s a dustpan and brush.”
This entire situation is just going from bad to worse. I really want to cry and I am not a crier, but I’m also exhausted.
“I just wanted to make you coffee.”
“I don’t give a shit about coffee. Go and sit on the sofa. I’ll clean this up, okay?”
I nod, and try to step through the minefield of ceramic pieces. In my bare feet, this is difficult. Jem loses patience quickly and sweeps me into his arms bride-style.
I let out a shriek.
“What are you doing! Put me down.”
“I don’t want you to cut your feet.”
Oh.
This is sweet.
I stop struggling and when he puts me down on the other side of the breakfast bar, my body is tingling and not in an unpleasant way. He stares down at me through his blond curtain of hair and something passes on his face that I can’t read, a flash of something—I’m not sure what.
The air between us feels different, charged. I don’t know why or what is happening, but I stare up at him, unsure what to do next. He reaches out, as if he’s going to touch me, then drops his hand.
“Go and sit, Piper.” His voice sounds a little hoarse.
“Okay,” I whisper.
Since I’ve caused him enough problems, I do as I’m told and take a seat. I listen as he cleans up my mess. There’s something strange about a huge man wearing leather and denim cleaning my kitchen—well, Josh’s kitchen. Weirdly, it doesn’t feel wrong to have Jem in my space, but it should.
After a few minutes, he comes into the living area and hands me a mug. It’s not coffee, though, it’s tea. I raise a brow at him.
“You need sleep. Coffee’s not going to help with that.”
“No, I need to be alert, so I can get to the hospital. I need caffeine for that. This weak as dishwater tea isn’t going to cut it.”
“You’re not going to the hospital.”
“I’m not?”
“Angel, you’re so tired you left the front door open and you’ve just dropped a mug. You’re not taking care of yourself. Until you’re able to do that, I’m putting my foot down. You’re resting.”
He’s not wrong, but even so, I balk at being treated like a child.
“You can’t tell me what to do, Jem.”
“You’re not leaving this flat until you get some sleep.”
I stare at him. “You can’t stop me.”
“Watch me.”
He’s actually serious. “Jem—”
“You got off lucky this time, Piper. You noticed the door was open. What if someone was waiting inside and they had the foresight to close the door behind them? What if you came inside not suspecting a thing? Do you know what kind of damage someone could do to you in an hour? Christ, even just ten minutes? The kind of irreparable shit another human can inflict on another? I don�
��t really feel like explaining to your brother that his little sister got raped or killed under Club watch because she forgot to lock her front fucking door because she’s so tired, so humour me, okay? Take a nap. Please.”
His words hit me in gut, but it’s the ‘please’ that gets me.
“Okay.”
He sinks onto the sofa next to me. “Drink it all.”
“What about Josh? He’ll worry if I don’t show.”
“I’ll ask Mum to drop in and visit. She can tell him you’re having the night off. Honestly, I think your brother will be glad to see the back of you for a night.”
“He got rid of me the other night,” I protest. I’m starting to feel like a chore.
“When he forced you to have an evening off with the girls?”
“Yes.”
He rubs at the bridge of his nose, and I can see his barely-there patience fraying. “Piper, don’t you think maybe that’s a problem?”
I sit straighter. “What do you mean?”
“The fact that your brother has to order you to leave his hospital room to unwind.”
When I don’t say anything, because really, what can I say to that? He adds, “Look, I don’t know what happened between you and Wade, but you don’t have to drill yourself into the ground to show him how much you care. He can see it. We all can.”
I swallow hard, and run my hands around the outside of the mug, letting the heat warm my hands, which suddenly feel chilled.
“I’m not trying to prove something,” I say quietly, even though I suppose I am.
“Whatever happened between you and Wade, it’s going to take time to fix, but destroying yourself isn’t the way to do it.”
“I don’t know why I’m being like this, why I’m being so intense.” I chew at my bottom lip. “I know it’s pathetic, worse than pathetic, but I can’t help it.”
Jem doesn’t speak, he just watches me, waiting for me to say more. I shouldn’t. I should keep my silence. Jem isn’t my confidant; he’s my brother’s, but for some reason the words come spilling out of me.
“My whole life, I’ve never been wanted by anyone. My mother, stepfather—I was a hindrance to them. I thought I found my place with Josh. I thought he’d come out of jail and we’d be this happy family, but that was a lie, too. He didn’t want that, not really. He didn’t want his little sister hanging around his neck. He didn’t want the responsibility of a twenty-one-year-old with baggage to deal with. He wanted what your Club offered—freedom without boundaries, without rules. And once again, I was pushed aside. It broke me, realising that I would never be enough for anyone. That I could be so easily discarded by everyone.”
Forbidden Rider: A Lost Saxons Novel #5 Page 11
